Supporting Your Child During Testing Week: A Therapist’s Guide for Parents

Standardized testing week can bring a big wave of emotions for children and for parents. Many kids struggle with test anxiety, especially during testing week. As a therapist who works with children and families, I’ve seen firsthand how this period can impact self-esteem, sleep, behavior, and the overall family atmosphere. But with the right tools and mindset, testing week can also be a time of growth, connection, and resilience-building.

Here are 7 main strategies to help you support your child during testing week:

1. Regulate Your Own Anxiety First

Children are highly perceptive. If you're feeling anxious about their performance, they’ll pick up on it—even if you don’t verbalize it. Before you talk to your child about the test, check in with yourself. Are you projecting your own fears or expectations? Calm, confident energy from a parent can ground a nervous child.

Tip: Use affirmations like “My child’s worth is not defined by a test score” or “This is just one small part of their journey.”

2. Normalize the Experience, Don’t Minimize It

Saying things like “It’s not a big deal” or “Just relax” can invalidate a child’s feelings. Instead, normalize that it’s okay to feel nervous or pressured. Reassure them that these feelings are natural—and that you're here for them no matter what.

What to say instead:“It makes sense to feel nervous. Let’s talk about what might help you feel more prepared or calmer.”

3. Create a Supportive Testing Routine

Routines provide structure, predictability, and a sense of control. During testing week, help your child get good sleep, eat nourishing breakfasts, and build in time for physical movement and rest. These small adjustments go a long way.

Key routine elements:

• Early, calm bedtime routines

• Screen-free wind-down time

• Balanced breakfast with protein

• Morning affirmations or calming music on the way to school

4. Focus on Effort, Not Outcome

Test scores are one data point—not a full picture of your child’s abilities, intelligence, or potential. Praise effort, not performance. Celebrate their commitment to doing their best, rather than the result.

Try saying:“I’m proud of how hard you’ve prepared.”“It takes courage to try your best even when it’s hard.”

5. Teach Simple Coping Tools

Testing week can be a great opportunity to review and or learn skills to help your child regulate their emotions. Here are some basic coping skills your child can implement before, during and after that big day:

• Deep breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4

• Grounding techniques: Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste

• Positive self-talk: “I am safe. I am prepared. I can do hard things.”

6. After the Test, Decompress Together

Once testing is done for the day, create space for your child to relax and express themselves. Avoid asking, “How did the test go?” right away. Instead, offer a snack, some downtime, or a fun activity. Let them lead the conversation if they want to talk.

7. Put It in Perspective

Remind your child, and yourself, that academic success is just one piece of their overall development. Empathy, curiosity, resilience, kindness, and creativity are equally, if not more, important. Testing week is temporary, but your child’s mental and emotional well-being is long-lasting.

Testing week can stir up a lot of emotions in families, but it’s also a chance to strengthen your relationship with your child. By showing up with empathy, structure, and unconditional support, you’re not just helping them through a test, you’re helping them build life skills they’ll carry well beyond the classroom.

You’ve got this! And so do they.

If you’re looking for more support in managing test anxiety or school related stress, counseling can help! 

We provide counseling for kids, teens, adults and families at our beautiful therapy offices located in Fort Lauderdale, Plantation, and Coral Springs, Florida. If you’re ready to see how therapy can help you, your child and your family, contact us today for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. 

Lorena Arrarte, LMHC provides counseling for children, teens, adults and families at our Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs offices. She also provides online therapy via telehealth for those who live in Florida.

For more information about her services, click here.