Friendship Breakups: A Journey to Healing

Friendship breakups, or any kind of ending to a friendship, are never easy. It's interesting— in our society, we often discuss the grief that accompanies losing a significant other, a romantic relationship, or even a familial relationship that becomes strained or distant. Yet, rarely do we address the grief associated with the loss of a friendship. My clients often come to me expressing the deep pain that comes with losing a friend, but with little direction on how to navigate or even feel those emotions, simply because we aren’t talking about it enough.

When I reflect on it, friendship feels deeply tied to our identity. The people we choose to move through life with become, in a way, our family— our "family of choice." Losing someone who truly knows us is inherently painful. Whether it's due to a falling out, growing apart as we go through life’s phases, or something that’s becoming increasingly common these days, like political differences, there are countless reasons friendships may drift or end. But the real question is: How do we make peace with it?

I once came across a quote that deeply resonated with me. It said something along the lines of, “Not everyone is meant to stay on the journey to where you’re going next. They were only meant for that one chapter, or to help you through the process of getting to where you needed to go. Some people are just passing through— whether to give you an experience or teach you a lesson. When the time comes, it’s okay to let go and move forward.” This quote emphasized the importance of being open to the idea that some friendships were never meant to last forever.

As humans, endings are naturally difficult for us. We struggle to make sense of loss, and the idea that anything is permanent is a frightening one! I’ve found that sitting in a place of gratitude and appreciation for the relationships that have been a part of my life— and the abundance they’ve added during their time— has been a helpful reminder. It encourages me to detach from the idea that I must hold on to relationships indefinitely.

A commitment to self, growth, and alignment is another helpful approach I try to keep in mind. If I hold onto people in my life that I’ve outgrown, I limit my ability to connect with others who could help me feel more seen, more aligned, and more excited about who I currently am, or who I hope to become.

Ultimately, there’s no “right” way to grieve the loss of a friendship. The key is to first acknowledge the unique pain of losing a friend, and to validate and accept those emotions as normal. Give yourself the time and space to process the loss. Talk about it with trusted individuals, work on releasing what you cannot control, and when you’re ready, consider cultivating new connections.

Looking for More Support in Grieving a Relationship so You Can Move Forward?

If you'd like to learn more about grieving the loss of a friendship, or if you're seeking support on how to navigate this process or even begin forming new friendships, reach out for a complimentary phone consultation at 954.391.5305 so we can discuss how I can help. 

For more information about me and my approach to therapy, please visit my page here. I offer counseling in Fort Lauderdale at our beautiful therapy offices as well as online therapy via our secure telehealth platform.