How To Live With Social Anxiety: Strategies That Make Socializing More Enjoyable
You ever wondered if anyone else in the room is as anxious and wrapped up in their own mind as you are in social settings? You find yourself completely drained of energy after what’s supposed to be a fun get-together because the entire time you’re just trying to survive it without fleeing the scene or letting on that you’re struggling in any way. The anxiousness doesn’t just set in when you’re around people, but you go through a whirlwind of emotions leading up to it. And that’s only when you can muster up the strength to put yourself in a social situation; a lot of times you avoid them altogether.
The truth is that social anxiety is very common! It presents itself in varying degrees, but it is something that many people are dealing with. That may be comforting to know but surely you’re more interested in learning how to manage it better.
What is Social Anxiety?
It seems pretty self-explanatory that social anxiety is anxiety related to social situations, however, it’s a little deeper than that. We all get anxious at times; anxiety is a normal human emotion. But those with social anxiety are overflowing with fear that is disproportionate to the actual situation. Fear of what you might ask… Fear of scrutiny and judgment by others. Fear of being seen in a negative light. Fear of embarrassment and humiliation. Fear of being rejected by others. Fear of offending others. The list goes on.
You can imagine how debilitating this must make a life for those with social anxiety. We are a social species. So much of our lives are in the view of and around other people. It’s nearly impossible to avoid contact with another human being, although those of you with social anxiety have probably become experts in avoidance.
The Internet Age has given us the ability to do so much from the safety and security of our homes. You don’t have to go out into the world to survive anymore. You can order just about anything you need online. You can work online. You can stay up to date with the lives of family and friends online without having to talk to anyone.
If you do choose to talk to someone, you can do it through text and email, using primarily emojis to convey expression. Although that still may be anxiety-provoking for some of the more serious cases of socially anxious people, it’s still less intense in comparison to in-person interaction. You can even get therapy online nowadays, and if it’s too overwhelming to show your face you can shut off your camera.
So if we now have the technology set up that allows us to reduce human contact, then why do so many people seek help for social anxiety? Well, one simple reason is it’s really lonely! Imagine wanting to be around people but not feeling like you can do it without stress and anxiety. Imagine a desire to be an active participant in life outside your home but being trapped in an anxious web within you that constricts tighter and tighter the more you get outside your comfort zone. HOW AWFUL!
It’s not an easy thing to overcome, but it is possible to manage it differently. Here are some strategies you can use to get started…
Develop and Practice Grounding Techniques and Coping Strategies to Reduce the Symptoms of Anxiety
As mentioned before, a lot of the struggle with social anxiety is the physiological symptoms that are triggered and the fear that others will notice. Learning ways to regulate your body when you get anxious can be a huge help. Two of the most common symptoms of anxiety are racing heart rate and shortened breaths. To address them both, you want to work on controlling your breathing.
Oxygen or lack thereof is a major contributor to the onset of other symptoms in your body. If you practice breathing techniques to ensure a good flow of oxygen is coming in, you’ll notice a decrease in other symptoms.
Try this breathing technique:
Place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest. Breathe in through your nose, expanding your belly out and allowing the breath to fill up your abdomen. Try to breathe in for a count of 4. Now exhale through your mouth and let your body deflate. Try to extend your exhale to a count of 6 or 8; this will help your heart rate to slow down. Repeat this process until you feel relaxed and can get back into a normal breathing rhythm.
Another important skill to develop is the ability to ground yourself. A lot of people become disoriented and overwhelmed when anxiety starts to flood in. A great way to get yourself back at the moment is to use your senses.