5 Ways to Make Long Distance Worth It
Cut. Clarity. Carat. Color. The four C’s of a diamond.
Modern day society enjoys linking the qualities of a diamond to different things. “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” “Diamonds are forever.” “Diamond in the rough.” “A diamond is just a rock that performed well under pressure.” We love to think of the positives associated with diamonds. Their beauty, strength, metamorphosis. The meaning attached to diamonds is “This is something special I chose to show love.” As we become more socially conscious and we think about conflict diamonds and ethically sourced stones, we also begin to think about how our desires, and actions, affect others and have consequences.
Why all this discussion about diamonds? And what does this mean for relationships? It means that just like the 4 C’s of a diamond determine the quality of the stone, the 5 C’s of a long distance relationship will have you feeling happier and more satisfied about a not so pleasant circumstance.
Connect Daily: Most marriage and family therapists would recommend couples spend time connecting throughout the day or at the end of the day. A simple “How’s your day going?” text message or phone call on a lunch break is one way couples connect throughout the day. At the end of the day, rather than going through all the chores and to do tasks, it’s important to notice how your partner felt during the day, the highs and lows, and learn about any challenges or successes that occurred. This daily connection is just as important, maybe even more, for couples in a long distance relationship. Without the ability to spend time together, just by being in the same room without necessarily engaging in conversation, can leave individuals in long distance relationships feeling lonely and disconnected.
Commit to Communicate: Time is a precious resource for all of us and long distance relationships are no different. For some couples, planning out and committing to a time when they can communicate is the key to making the relationship work. Just like anything we want out of life, we have to commit ourselves and make the time for the important things. Committing to talking every Sunday morning, or Sunday evening is one way long distance couples can stay connected.
Concentrate on the “Why”: You and your partner entered into this relationship for a reason. Take a moment to remember why. It might seem difficult and upsetting, to be so far away from the person you love and with whom you want to spend all your time. Holding the intention of why this relationship matters to you will act like the lighthouse and guide any decisions you make about the relationship and within the relationship.
Cultivate Happiness: It’s safe to say you might not be 100% happy with your long distance relationship. Moreso the long distance part rather than the relationship itself. Like I’ve mentioned in other blogs, happiness can be a choice we make daily. Find ways to cultivate your individual and relationship happiness!
Cherish time together: Again, your time is precious and even more so in a long distance relationship. You may only get to physically be in one another’s presence for a short period of time. Make the most of it. It’s tempting to bottle up and hold on to hurts and slights to then hash out in person. This strategy for conflict doesn’t help your relationship, unless you both fight fair and need the time to cool off before speaking to one another.
Individuals engage in long distance relationships for a variety of reasons and just because it may be something your relationship is going through doesn’t mean it needs to be hard or unpleasant. If you’re currently in a long distance relationship and having trouble incorporating the 5 Cs, I’m just a phone call away. Give me a call at 954.391.5305 ext. 1 to discuss your options and how we can work together to get you the life and relationship you want. I provide couples counseling and marriage therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida for individuals and couples.