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  • Writer's pictureKimberly Bonds Grocher, LCSW, CPC

Build a Healthy Relationship with YOU

We can spend so much of our life focused on external relationships and situations that we often lose touch with ourselves. It isn’t until we are experiencing the impact of that disconnection (angst, sadness, numbness, confusion, lack of confidence, feeling depleted, etc.) that we realize there’s a problem. Sometimes it gets referred to as “low self-esteem”; however, it really goes much deeper than self-esteem…we have neglected or never built a relationship with ourselves.

Before we can truly begin to improve the external factors in our life, we have to do some work inside. Inner work can entail many things, but one of the fundamentals is establishing a connection with you.

3 Tips to Build a Healthy Relationship with YOU

Start by taking notice of how you treat the most important person/people in your life? What kind of attention do you give them? How do you show them you care? In general, how do you try to communicate with them?

Now take notice of how you treat yourself. How much attention do you pay to your emotional and physical needs? If you were to take a birds-eye view of your life, how do you demonstrate that you genuinely care about yourself? Pay attention to self-talk and even how you refer to yourself when talking to other people

There are many things we do without noticing that send a message to our subconscious about how we really feel about ourselves and that manifests. Ask yourself, if you treated your loved ones the way you treat yourself, what would that relationship look like?

Over the next couple of days tune into a couple of things:

  1. What activities/situations/ people do you look forward to engaging with? What are the physical, emotional, and mental signs that you enjoy?

  2. What activities/situations/ people do dread engaging with? What are the physical, emotional, and mental signs that you dread these? Try to determine what it is about these situations that cause you to feel this way.

  3. How much time energy do you invest in the activities that you find engaging versus the ones you dread?

Find a way to make more time for 1-2 activities/situations/people that you noticed bring you joy in the next 3 days.

By doing this brief exercise, you are doing several things for yourself. You are taking to the time to become self-aware, attuned to your values, and creating space and time for what matters to you.

Taking the time to reconnect and build a healthier relationship with you is not being selfish, self-centered, or narcissistic. In fact, it can actually improve your relationships and help you show up as your best self in all areas of your life.

If you’re interested in learning more about building a healthy relationship with yourself and the impact it can have on your life visit my website.

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