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  • Writer's pictureSabrina Simmons, LMHC

The Gift of Silence, Stillness, and Solitude

Overbooked schedules, stressful routines, never-ending demands to maintain a “dynamic” life amid a World Pandemic, you feel like you have no choice, but to be busy all the time. 

We are often taught that in order to be successful, we must work harder, and that staying busy will lead to more productivity, prosperity, and hopefully–happiness. But living in a state of busyness is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. And it often leads to a state of emotional disconnect, inner void, loneliness, and dissatisfaction. It causes a state of unhappiness that is often hard to spot with a naked eye. 

“Why am I feeling so lonely and unhappy? I’m always surrounded by people, doing fun stuff, and yet at the end of the day, when I lay in bed by myself, I feel like I don’t even know who I am”.

The question came last week from one of my clients. It bothered him that after spending his days with the people he likes and doing the things he knows he enjoys, he couldn’t brush off the feeling that he wasn’t sure whether he really liked all these activities. And most importantly, whether he really knows himself and what makes him happy. 

Staying busy all the time robs us of the opportunity to be with ourselves, checking in with the emotional side of us. There’s no time left for an honest, genuine dialogue during which we ask ourselves how we’re “being” while we’re so busy “doing”. 

Not spending time in solitude robs us of the mental silence needed for reflection, for revisiting our latest attitudes and behaviors, our connections with others, our future goals, and dreams.

The intensity of a life built around a to-do list, and the loudness of other people’s busy schedules – can make us lose touch with ourselves. And lose sight of the things dear to our soul. 

We often start pursuing other people’s dreams, because we didn’t have time to reflect on our own. But those dreams are not ours, they don’t align with who we are and what we truly want in life. We start feeling lost and confused. 

       Benefits of Sitting with Oneself.  In Silence.  

Many highly accomplished people intentionally create an absence of busyness and noise, with the purpose of reassessing their course in life, and giving themselves the opportunity to realign themselves with their purpose, reconnect with what’s truly important to them, and also generate new ideas. Silence unleashes contemplation, connection, and creativity.

Creating space and time to be with self, allows you to take ownership of who you are.  To accept what it is and to change what is not yet. You have no choice but getting to know yourself better.

In silence, we hear ourselves loud enough to notice our shortcomings and are propelled to work through some uncomfortable realities.  This process draws us closer to our own selves, and it creates a space for growth. Stillness brings with itself the gift of rediscovering ourselves and this expands our sense of inner possibilities. 

       Occasionally, Give Yourself the Gift of Silence, Stillness, and Solitude

Deliberately creating a space in your life for stillness, silence, and solitude can also help you physically. By adopting this practice, you can significantly reduce the risk of burnout so there’s a calmer, refreshed, emotionally richer self to engage with others when you’re ready to do so. 

On an emotional level, this can help you define, revise, and enrich your sense of identity by sorting through personal values and reflecting on whether your current actions match the ideals of the person you aspire to be. 

Stillness can bring more order to your existence when you take the time to examine your priorities and set boundaries to protect the life you envision for yourself and your loved ones. 

Being with Oneself Creates a Space of Reflection and Rediscovery. A space for Growth. 

In psychotherapy, clients are often taught how to sit with themselves, nurturing a space of stillness and inner growth. A space where they learn to listen to their own needs and use the power of this internal dialogue to create a stronger connection with self. 

I hear you... it can be difficult to create a space of stillness while the whole world feels upside down. But I’m here to tell you that it’s possible.

In therapy sessions, clients learn to quiet the rest of the world and turn inwards. They also learn to develop different routines to make time for reflection, and a safe space within their minds that they can find refuge in whenever they need to. 

If you’re ready to deepen the conversation with yourself and learn how to grow emotionally, you can connect with me Sabrina Simmons, Licensed Mental Health Counselor - via phone at 954-391-5305.

I specialize in helping people improve their relationship with themselves, and will be happy to help you do the same. I offer both telehealth and face to face sessions at our beautiful and serene Fort Lauderdale offices. I look forward to connecting with you!


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