You may know you need to change some aspect of your life, have at least some idea how to foster it, and yet, you ultimately resist it. Let’s take a closer look at why this happens and what we can do about it.
Some of the most common reasons you struggle to change:
- As much as you want and deserve to stop suffering, you’re used to it. The more we get accustomed to anything, the harder it is to alter it.
- You’re ambivalent, which means a part of you wants change, while another part of you doesn’t (this can be because of fear, feeling overwhelmed, and other intense and unpleasant emotions).
- You’ve tried to change, but it seems like nothing you do ever works.
These are all very common barriers to attaining the big changes, and therefore having the life you deserve.
Here are some practical steps to overcoming these obstacles:
1. Try to See the Problem from a New Angle:Oftentimes, when we try to grow, we have trouble seeing the difficulties that are getting in our way. In these instances, therapy can be particularly useful, as your therapist can help you see things you may not have previously noticed: the potential missing pieces to your transformation.
2. Write Out Possible Solutions:In order to change, we need to see problematic patterns in our lives, as well as healthier patterns. It’s significantly easier for our brains to notice such patterns when we visually see them in front of us.
3. Reframe Failures:Loss and setbacks, if you’re open to it, are opportunities for feedback. You will encounter difficulties on your path to improvement, so it’s crucial you try to embrace this process and change the way you view these instances as information on what/where/how to grow.
4. Increase Your Focus on Positivity:You can’t get rid of all negative thoughts, but you can certainly increase your positive thoughts, as well as how they impact and help you. One great way to accomplish this is through using a gratitude journal. Each day, you’ll write down at least one thing in which you are thankful.
5. Set Short-and-Long-Term-SMART Goals
- Specific
- Measurable
- Adjustable
- Realistic
- Time-Based
In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck writes:
“Change isn’t like surgery. Even when you change, the old beliefs aren’t just removed like a worn-out hip or knee and replaced with better ones. Instead, the new beliefs take their place alongside the old ones, and as they become stronger, they give you a different way to think, feel, and act.”
If you would like get started on these small steps to big change, callJordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305to schedule your first session.
I look forward to speaking with you and helping you along your journey toward health and happiness.
