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  • Writer's pictureKate Campbell, PhD, LMFT

Do you have Commitment Phobia & Relationship Anxiety?

Relationships are not always easy. However, if you struggle with commitment phobia and/or relationship anxiety, relationships can be even more difficult. Relationship anxiety, or commonly known as fear of relationships, can actually translate to commitment phobia, however, they are two separate entities.

Commitment phobia presents itself as a very common concept. Commitment phobia looks like a problem with staying in relationships for the long haul. Here are a few signs that can help you discern whether you struggle with commitment phobia. You may have commitment phobia if...

You’ve been in multiple relationships that appear committed, but never quite make it to the next step of getting married.

  • You’ve lived with multiple partners but haven’t stayed with one partner for the long haul.

  • You haven’t sustained a relationship longer than a few weeks or months.

  • You’ve never introduced your family or friends to a romantic partner.

  • You’ve been unfaithful in past relationships.

People with commitment phobia can experience love. However, if you’re dating someone with commitment phobia, the more serious and deeply you fall in love with them, the quicker you’ll realize your partner is already one foot out the door. It can be traced to some relationship anxiety, however, those with commitment phobia really do have a fear of being totally, completely committed to one person, indefinitely. The causes of commitment phobia are endless varying from childhood attachment issues, trauma and/or abuse, or unhealthy past relationships with partners. Therapy plays a major role in helping this said commitment phobia partner realize particular patterns, while also reinforcing new constructs that not all relationships are perfect, and vulnerability and truth can deepen connections between two people.

Now, relationship anxiety is another common destructor of happiness. Because ideally, once you’re in a relationship, granted you’ll have to work at it, that can be the greatest source of stability and joy you foster. But if you struggle from relationship anxiety, every date, relationship milestone, and especially disagreements can be overwhelming. Coming together warrants a bit of anxiety because you’re opening up to another person, you’re being vulnerable. But if you’re in a constant state of anxiety when it comes to your partner and the relationship, you may have to reassess. Worrying why your partner hasn’t responded to your text from four hours ago, replaying the disagreement you had two nights ago, yearning for a time machine to go back and swallow your words, these are all warning signs you may be in a deep state of relationship anxiety as opposed to love. Feeling your best and being at ease with your partner is the end goal, being consumed with fear or running thoughts about the state of your relationship is exhausting and undue stress and pressure on your body.

If you or your partner are struggling with either of these issues let’s work together to strengthen your connections and relationships! Call Dr. Kate Campbell today at 954-391-5305 to set up an appointment. Dr. Kate provides counseling for individuals, anxiety treatment, and couples therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.


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