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  • Writer's pictureJamie Ratowski, LMFT

How to Get My Partner to Come to Couples Therapy?

Marriage counseling and couples therapy is highly important and successful treatment that can help repair, replenish, and restore your relationship to a healthy and thriving state. However, there is one major component that is essential to the efficacy of couples therapy and that is both partners’ willing participation.

In a perfect world, both partners are on board and ready to put in the work together in couples therapy. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. It is normal for someone to have hesitancy and nerves about the process of starting marriage therapy or couples counseling, especially if this is one’s first time doing any type of therapy.

The following tips can help make the process of communicating with your partner and starting therapy smoother.

Find A Safe Space & Time -

It is important to initiate the conversation about beginning couples counseling at a time when the conflict is low and you are both in a healthy headspace. Ask your partner if they are prepared to discuss the relationship to assure you are both ready to communicate. Pick a place where you and your partner best handle heavy conversations. If the conversation gets heated or your partner gets defensive, take a break and plan to have the conversation at a different time.

Express Love & Affection -

Reassure your partner that you love them, support them, and want to work together on overcoming any presenting problems. Don't hold back affection as any emotional connection you can express makes conversion go smoother. You want them to also feel heard, share that you want to remain a team, and be willing to listen to their own thoughts and opinions on the matter as well.

Be Open & Honest -

Sharing your true feelings about the situation is important, as transparency is essential in a healthy relationship. Use “I statements” to express your own emotions and minimize placing any blame on your partner. Be honest, but avoid criticism and remain as respectful as you can at all times.

Discuss The Benefits -

Couples therapy has many benefits for your relationship, mental health, and even life skills. Helping your partner see the upside of couples therapy can be an encouraging step to start your own counseling journey. Conflict resolution, communication skills, trauma recovery, deeper understanding, affair recovery, parenting support, improved intimacy, and strengthening trust are just a few possible benefits to couples counseling.

Set Goals & Make a Plan -

Propose to make a plan in choosing a therapist together if possible. Try discussing your goals for your relationship. It's positive to discuss the progress and future that you envision for your relationship and help you go into the couples therapy process with an optimistic mindset.

Be proud of the decision to start marriage counseling or couples therapy. It is a common misconception that couples counseling means your relationship is failing or it is a “last resort”. Couples therapy is a fantastic option to work through struggles, grow closer, or even maintain an already strong and healthy relationship. By taking this step you are making a positive decision in prioritizing the relationship and having the bond you deserve.

If you and your partner are ready to start the couple’s therapy process, contact us today at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation. We look forward to helping you and your relationship thrive!

For more information about Jamie Ratowski, LMFT, and her approach to therapy, click here. Jamie provides counseling for individuals and couples in Fort Lauderdale Florida and online across the state of Florida with our secure telehealth platform.


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