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  • Writer's pictureKate Campbell, PhD, LMFT

Five Ways to Create a Better Connection with Your Partner

Ever wonder how your relationship became so routine and habitual? Do you find yourself going through the motions with your partner and yet you desire to feel more connected?

When you’re on a vacation, it’s easy to connect with your partner and focus on that special bond between you two. Incorporating these five ways to create a better connection with your partner will help you during the other 51 weeks of the year while you’re not on a dreamy beach or snow top mountain!

1.) Connect and check in with yourself first.

It’s going to be a lot harder to sustain a meaningful conversation with your loved one if you’re feeling insecure, irritable, or exhausted. Connection with your partner will be more genuine and intimate if and when you are centered with yourself and what’s going on internally. Take some time to invest in yourself. Challenge yourself, learn to love yourself, and show compassion towards yourself. Having a solid connection with yourself sets you up to have a stronger relationship with your partner.

2.) Be present and open to learning new things about your partner.

Maybe you’ve been together five months or fifteen years, you can and will always learn something new about your loved one! Be open to learning these things along the way and express your intent and hopes with them! Don’t judge or criticize each other throughout this process. You two are each other’s biggest fans, be curious and kind. Ask obscure questions that may lead into light-hearted conversations, like “who was your favorite superhero growing up” or “if you could eat anything for breakfast Saturday morning what would it be?” Put your phones away and turn off the notifications on your Apple Watch. It’s tough to feel like someone is listening to them when they’re constantly refreshing their notification page. Eye contact goes a long way…

3.) Look at the good and not the bad.

Sometimes connections fade because we live in a constantly negative atmosphere where we dwell and nag on our partner’s shortcomings or our perceived negative thoughts of them. Let those go – focus on what you love about him or her. Changing your perspective for these times in reconnection will have an immediate effect on your intimacy and happiness. Focus on enjoying and cherishing each other. Remember why you fell in love in the first place and share those stories to reminisce with your partner.

4.) Plan a “fun-tivity” together!

Block out a calendar date and plan a fun day of activities aka “festivities” you and your partner can agree upon! Compromising can work here, but really incorporate things you two like to do together and think outside your normal routine! Go mini-golfing or canoeing or paddleboarding! Through this shared experience, you’ll create memories and build on good times. On a particularly blah Tuesday, you two can remind each other of what fun you had during that time and you’ll deepen your connection!

5.) Show your appreciation.

Actions most definitely speak louder than words, but in working towards deepening your connection and bond, express how you feel. Being vulnerable is of course frightening, but plenty of qualitative and quantified data out there suggests that being vulnerable, open, and honest with your partner will absolutely deepen your bond. Express gratitude for the sacrifices and acknowledge all that you two do for each other.

These are just a few tips you can begin implementing in your relationship to keep your connection strong. If you and your partner are struggling with your relationship, Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT is just a phone call 954-391-5305 or click away. Dr. Kate offers marriage counseling and couples therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.


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