Should You End Your Relationship?
If you happen to be struggling with whether you should end your relationship or if this question seems to come across your thoughts, it may be the right time to think about where you are and ultimately where you’re going. Think of this blog not as a checklist, but maybe as an opportunity to pause… look in the mirror… and have an honest pulse check that can certainly hurt, but may in fact be the bravest and most necessary thing you have done in a long time.
In questioning if and when should you end your relationship there are certain things to consider that will not make your decision any easier, but may make it more relevant and inevitable. It’s time to let go if and when you feel:
Sad, more often than not
Unappreciated, more often than not
Angry and betrayed, more often than not
Unsafe emotionally, physically, or sexually
Relationships do take work, but at their core, they can be the most beautiful and rewarding gift. Your partnership should not be a dark cloud to the start of your day. If you find yourself feeling and experiencing the above states, ask yourself how and why you and your partner are at this point? Are there things you can do to heal from this? Can you both grow and even deepen your connection if the two of you mutually work towards betterment? All valid and concentrated efforts can heal past hurts. But what if you are past those efforts? What if your relationship is now causing scars rather than healing? That is when it is time to let go.
On a more severe note, it may be time to let go if you’re experiencing “gaslighting”, a form of psychological abuse in which one partner is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity. Accepting the fact that you’re in an abusive relationship can be extremely difficult, but a vital step toward getting out of the relationship safely to begin the healing process. These decisions are seemingly such difficult realizations to come to. And yet, where there once was a great love there now seems to be a deep animosity and resentment.
It’s not that you don’t love your partner, it’s that you now have to love yourself more. Enduring intense fights; feelings of fear, sadness, or betrayal; and despair or hopelessness does not equate to love. If you feel it is time to let go of your relationship do so with respect and appreciation for the time shared and lessons learned. You are not giving up or waving a white flag, you are merely recognizing that you can no longer make attempts at healing past hurts and are choosing to love yourself more by realizing that you deserve to be in a happy, healthy relationship.
If you need additional support in the process of deciding whether you’re ready to let go or need help with how to let go or tips for how to get over a breakup, contact Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT at 954.391.5305 ext. 1 or Info@BayviewTherapy.com. Dr. Kate provides pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and couples counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.