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Exciting news!!! Our brand new, luxurious counseling and psychology group practice is officially OPEN for business as of Monday, January 21, 2019. Yay!! :) We started the relocation and expansion process in February 2018. We searched and searched for the perfect office space for our clients and team, but couldn't find exactly what we wanted so we went on a mission to build our dream office space from scratch. It was a massive project, but all the hard work, determination, and perseverance FINALLY paid off. It's so surreal and amazing to see our vision for this office finally become a reality. Stay tuned for professional pictures of our new office design and decor coming soon! See the below image for the outside view of our new office. Our office is unique in that we provide a relaxing, spa-like atmosphere with beautiful new artwork and luxury furniture helping clients to feel more comfortable as soon as they walk inside our suite. Our 5 counseling rooms were designed with an intentional vibe and unique theme to create a calming and inspiring experience for each one of our clients. We also have a large conference room for community networking events, workshops, and training. Since we want to extend our reach to help as many people as possible, we built a really cool media productions room for podcasting, video recording, and live webinars! Our team of 15 caring and dedicated clinicians is BEYOND EXCITED to better SERVE our south Florida clients, friends, and community. We're getting amazing feedback from everyone who sets foot in our space. We are grateful to have such a beautiful office to do what we love... making a difference! We're happy to help you or your loved ones so give us a call at 954-391-5305 to see how Bayview Therapy can help you reach your goals. Visit our website for more info about our team and services www.BayviewTherapy.com.

“On days like this where I feel so sad and lonely, I find myself standing in front of the fridge looking for something to eat. I tell myself that I deserve something tasty after such a hard day. When I eat I forget about all the stress, chores, and worries. I get distracted from all the negativity and pressure and just for that moment, I feel better… Food tastes good… What’s interesting is that after I eat, I feel guilty and remorseful. It feels as if I did something wrong… I shouldn’t have eaten all those cookies and chips. I’m embarrassed and hope no one notices that I finished all the snacks. I’m also worried about my weight… I feel disgusting. I start to think about ways to lose those calories and find myself searching online about ways to diet and lose weight. I promise tomorrow “I’ll be good”, and before I know at the end of the next day I’m back standing in front of the fridge.” - Anita Does this sound familiar to you? Has this been your experience or what you see happening to someone in your family, perhaps your child or a dear friend? When people need comfort, they need it now, and food can become a dear friend that just for a moment makes you forget all of your concerns and lessen your anxiety. At the moment, food becomes a source of comfort and distraction, numbing those feelings that you don’t want to feel and prolonging feelings you enjoy through a positive experience. It becomes a reward and a way to elevate pleasure and avoid feelings. The problem is that once you finish the last chocolate or spoonful of ice cream, a sense of guilt and regret starts to creep in. This can create a perpetual cycle of a toxic relationship with food that can lead to low self-esteem, negative body image, never-ending dieting behaviors, and the development of eating disorders. Why does eating feel so good at the moment and then leave you feeling so much worse? Emotional eating can be contradictory. Food is tasty and when it’s used to calm down or avoid feelings, it might work at that moment. You enjoy the food for the time being and disconnect from the source of struggle. The immediate sense of gratification and sense of release is what keeps you going back to the fridge and buying foods that “make you feel better”. The intention behind the behavior of eating is what leads to emotional eating. Eating is not used to relieve hunger, but in response to any kind of feeling, even pleasurable feelings can lead to overeating. For example, you eat because you’re feeling good and you don’t want the feeling to stop, you just keep eating. Although eating provides temporary relief, the feeling that you were trying to numb in the first place gets worse and guilt, shame, and remorse increase a sense of discomfort that often leads to the pantry where the cycle begins again making you feel stuck and hopeless. So how do you find freedom from the seductive and comforting hands of emotional eating? Becoming more aware of your intentions, thoughts, feelings, and patterns is a starting point. You can use journaling to start the process and increase your awareness and insight into your emotional eating tendencies. You can also learn mindful ways to regulate your emotions and new coping thoughts and strategies that you can put in place when feeling distressed. When you approach this process with a non-judgmental attitude and a sense of self-compassion, you’re able to accept wherever you are in the process and embrace new ways to deal with it. You are able to be more honest with yourself and become truly aware of your feeling and your intentions to use food. ​​The secrecy around emotional eating is also what contributes to the cycle and what adds more layers of shame to your experience. By talking about it and understanding more about the function of emotional eating, you will start to experience a new sense of relief and allow new perspectives and solutions to enter your mind. If you are ready to free yourself from emotional eating, I’m ready to hold a safe space for you to start peeling the layers. You can contact me directly at 954-391-5305 to discuss setting up a session at my Fort Lauderdale or Coral Springs office.

0 Trauma is any negative event that causes us distress, so we have all had and will continue to experience, a trauma in our lives. When we endure a trauma, we must respond in some way in order to survive. Depending on how often and intensely we experience these various negative events, they affect our minds, brains, and bodies in different ways. In this first blog, we will look specifically at the way trauma affects our minds, as well as how, armed with this knowledge, and with an understanding and application of several other crucial tools, we can reduce and eliminate the negative impact of these negative experiences on our minds. Traumatic experiences can cause us to alter the way we think. We might change our beliefs about the world and ourselves. Specifically, we may worry whether we are safe, question whether we can trust others, feel limited control in our lives and decision-making success, and experience a diminished sense of self-worth. Often, when we experience trauma, we also experience profound shame and self-blame, both of which tend to cause us to keep these negative experiences a secret. When we keep our trauma to ourselves, the negative influence of the trauma on our lives notably worsens. Similarly, avoidance (of experiences, people, and places in life that might remind of us of our traumatic experiences) also strengthens the hold of these negative experiences on our lives. The key, then, to reduce the effect of trauma on our lives is to confront it. I realize this is easier said than done. Here are some crucial concepts and steps to engage in this process: We should try to look at and treat ourselves with compassion and understanding. Trauma, understandably, has a profound impact on us, so we should attempt to consistently remind ourselves of this and treat ourselves accordingly. We want to look at and more closely understand our trauma, often with the help and guidance of a psychotherapist. The more we can understand that our symptoms are the result of profound negative experiences, the more we can reduce and eliminate our symptoms and their detrimental hold on our lives. We can do this through remembering, writing about, sharing, and analyzing our trauma. There is no specific timeline for how long it should take to process your story, so try to have patience with yourself. Go at whatever pace feels comfortable and reasonable to you, which could be several weeks, months, or even longer. Know that, at any point(s), if the experience becomes overwhelming or triggering, take a deep breath, take a break, and come back to it later. We also want to identify our triggers for symptoms, or things that in some way(s) remind us of the trauma we experienced. Then, instead of being triggered and succumbing to debilitating symptoms, we can engage in various proactive strategies to control our subsequent moods, thoughts, and behavioral processes. In her book, “Trauma Survivors’ Strategies for Healing,” Elena Welsh recommends, “taking a deep breath, reminding ourselves that we’re safe, or using mindfulness techniques to ground ourselves in the present moment.” If you have any questions about trauma or how to recover after a traumatic experience, I'd be happy to speak with you. If you would like to schedule your first session, call me at 954-391-5305 for or for more information about my services, read my bio here.

WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER? If you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it’s important to understand what it is and what to look out for so you can pick up on the early warning signs that mania is setting in. Bipolar Disorder, Type 1 is a mental illness characterized by having prolonged fluctuations between manic and major depressive episodes. Bipolar Disorder, Type II is characterized by fluctuations between hypomanic and major depressive episodes. Hypomania shares the same key symptoms as mania, but is generally less intense with a shorter duration. While you may experience high energy levels, hypomania may not cause the same debilitating problems in your life that mania can. If you are diagnosed with either type of bipolar disorder, you may experience intense emotional instability and find it difficult to manage or regulate your symptoms if left untreated. Since mania is often misunderstood, it is important to gain a better understanding of this major component of bipolar disorder. EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF MANIA The transition into mania can be gradual and slow, and you may not even realize when the changes start to take place. If you are aware of the possible symptoms, it’s easier to prevent mania from taking over and get the help you need to return to your baseline. Some early warning signs and symptoms of mania can include a combination of any of the following: Talking rapidly, unable to be understood easily: it’s often difficult to be able to tell if you are speaking quickly. One way to test this is to ask yourself if everyone else around you seems like they’re speaking slowly. Are they having a difficult time understanding you? Are they asking you to slow your speech? It may be easier to test yourself by picking up on others’ cues. Irritability and frustration: if you find yourself more easily frustrated or irritated by others, especially over matters or incidents that normally wouldn’t bother you, this could be a sign that mania is setting in. Restlessness or fidgety behavior: stop and notice what your body is doing. Are you able to sit still? Do you need to keep moving your fingers or tapping your feet? Test yourself by taking a moment to sit still in a quiet room. Can’t stop moving? It could be the onset of mania. Inability or unwillingness to sleep: have your sleeping habits changed recently? Even if you feel like you have lots of energy, any changes in the amount you’re sleeping could be an indicator of a manic or depressive episode. Disorganized or easily distracted: have you started a project but haven’t been able to follow through? Are you bouncing from task to task and can’t focus? Are you taking on more than you can chew? Not keeping commitments or sticking to a schedule: it’s important to stick to a schedule when you have bipolar disorder. Are you having a difficult time sticking to your routine or keeping appointments? Overspending: if you start to be careless with your money, buying things you normally wouldn’t, or making huge purchases without talking to someone else about it, it could be a sign that you are transitioning into or experiencing a manic episode. Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity: while it’s important for everyone to have a healthy self-esteem and love themselves, people who are experiencing mania have an elevated self-esteem that is more like overly confident and arrogant to the point they feel like they’re on top of the world or invincible. Knowing your baseline level of self-esteem can help you determine if what you are experiencing is healthy self-love and self-esteem or if it’s mania. Risk-taking: are you engaging in risky behaviors that you normally wouldn’t do? This can include driving fast, increased promiscuity, substance abuse, or other thrill-seeking behaviors. Feeling euphoric: when people come out of a prolonged depressive episode, mania can seem enjoyable because of the feelings of euphoria that often accompany it. This feeling on its own is not dangerous, but is a good indicator that mania is setting in. Keep in mind that not everyone will experience the same symptoms. You may experience none, some, or all of these. Everyone is different, so it’s important to know yourself, your baseline, and your common symptoms for when mania sets in. HOW TO PREVENT MANIA AND MANAGE SYMPTOMS If a manic episode seems to be approaching, it’s crucial to get support from others. If you are unsure if you are experiencing manic symptoms, ask your loved ones if they notice any changes in your behavior. Sometimes it can be difficult to self-reflect when you have bipolar disorder. You don’t have to go through this alone, so it’s important to have a solid support network that includes reliable family or friends, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. As soon as you start to veer away from your baseline, schedule an appointment with a professional to figure out what’s going on and how you can prevent it from getting worse. If it turns out that you aren’t sliding into depression or mania, no one will be disappointed at you for taking preventative measures or think that you wasted their time. Your mental health is a priority, and you should also be on the safe side. Here are a few tangible tips to be able to detect those warning signs: Refill your medication before it lapses: When you have a week or so left of pills, refill your prescription so there’s no gap. Nowadays you can schedule your meds to be delivered automatically, so there’s no need to manually refill the order every time. Adhere to a daily routine or schedule: If you write out your schedule and have a similar routine every day, it will be easier to notice when you start to deviate from it. Keep a sleep log: Try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. In a sleep journal, write down how much sleep you get each night. Stick to a financial budget: Keep a close eye on your income and, in particular, your spending. If you need help getting control over your finances, talk to a financial advisor, accountant, or even a responsible friend or family member. Create a calm environment at home and avoid over-stimulating environments: If you have fewer things around to distract you and you keep a clean home, it will encourage a peaceful atmosphere and mood. This is especially important for your bedroom so you can have a relaxing, restful place to sleep. Break down your goals into smaller, attainable tasks: If there’s a large goal you want to achieve, each step towards that main goal should be a small goal you can accomplish along the way. For example, if you want a new job, the goal wouldn’t be “get a new job.” Smaller attainable goals would be: write a resume, write a cover letter, spend 20 minutes a day to research jobs, apply to one job a week, make one new contact a week, etc. Maintain healthy habits that promote both physical and mental wellness: Eating healthy and exercising regularly can improve your overall wellness, including your emotional wellness. This includes avoiding drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and energy drinks that can be overstimulating. Have a friend or family member who will practice these healthy behaviors alongside you: When you have someone in your life who will be a good role model for you, and who will hold you accountable, you will be more likely to succeed. Having positive people in your life is important. Spend less time with people who exhibit unhealthy behaviors. Slow down and practice mindfulness: Meditation and mindfulness are great tools for getting in touch with your emotions and finding peace. With practice, you’ll be able to have a deeper awareness of your emotions and tell when you’re transitioning away from your baseline. If you are in drug or alcohol recovery, go to an AA or 12-step meeting and talk to your sponsor: Drug and alcohol use can exacerbate manic symptoms, so if you are feeling any urges, it’s important to get support early on. YOU CAN BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH Living with bipolar disorder can be a challenge, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live a happy, productive, and balanced life. With support, guidance, and professional help you can live the life you want. Don’t let mental illness control you. You have the power to regulate your emotions, reach your goals, and find peace. Therapy can provide you with the tools you need to effectively manage your life. If you need one-on-one support, we offer counseling for adults struggling with bipolar disorder, as well as their loved ones who are in a supportive role. Contact Dr. Heather Violante, Psy.D. today at 954.391.5305 to find out how we can help you improve your emotional wellness and guide you on your pathway to new beginnings.

Will the internal voice say you are being selfish, uncaring, and mean? How can you let down the people in your life? Why can’t you just do better? If only… What makes you feel not enough? The story of you was formed in the first seven years of life. As a child, you learned how to relate to others through the relationship you had with your parents and siblings. Your parents learned their way of interacting from their own families. Children engage in magical thinking which means they believe if they say or do something they can create a specific outcome for those around them. Of course, as an adult you know perfectly well that if your Dad lost his job there isn’t much you can actually do about this other than love him. Yet as adults, the magical thinking continues. If I do this then they will love me more, treat me with kindness, listen to me, etc. What is the price of love? Being me? Take it from me, none of these issues heal by compromising who you are for another person. But what will people think… Up until now those closest to you have been able to anticipate how you will be and have learned to expect certain behaviors from you. For example, if you are always the person who everyone calls for the support you may decide that while you enjoy being there for them it distracts you from accomplishing your goals leading you to be less available to others until you’ve taken care of your needs. Some will understand while others will not. When you begin to reclaim the discarded parts of you there will be people who leave. They are not bad people. You have simply outgrown each other. 3 Steps to be more you: 1. Have a good cry. Yep, you are going to need to mourn the loss of who you once were and the painful times you endured. Be sad, feel the grief. It is a part of your healing. Do not hold back here. At the end of this process, you will feel better. Do not turn away from you. Dive in. 2. Pick one thing you want to get off your chest and communicate it. This takes some introspection. Think of one thing bothering you in a relationship and be honest about how you feel. It’s a good idea to journal your feelings about it, fears of what you anticipate happening i.e. if I say this____it will mean this_____ they will say this________, This will help you get to what is really bothering you, feel clearer and more ready to take action. 3. Learn to Say NO: You more than likely crossed your own boundaries for another. Setting intentional boundaries creates the space for healthy self-esteem to be built and safety within the relationship to be established. “Stop working overtime for free,” “Stop being available to every need a friend has,” There is no need to hide, shrink or stay small for relationships to work. At the core of setting boundaries lies “I love you but I love me more.” When you choose from this perspective everything changes. Through honoring, loving, and respecting yourself you show others how to treat you and allow them to meet you there. Becoming authentically you is an act of courage and self-compassion. It is the willingness to explore your depths and embrace even the messy parts you have been hiding from. On my own journey, I have learned that the best parts of me were hidden in what I mistakenly had referred to as my flaws. In your process of becoming you, I hope you find the courage to explore yourself, speak up, and set boundaries. You will be pleasantly surprised by the results and the needs you have neglected in the past will begin to be met. You may even discover that friends and family are more than happy to be there for you and the only ones getting in your way as you. For more information, you can call at 954-391-5305.

Suffering from stress and challenges can be crippling. Even the strongest of us need help navigating our course through life. Counseling and hypnosis can provide valuable support and introduce skills to help you move beyond "just surviving" to thriving and finding a brighter outlook. STRUGGLING WITH PAST TRAUMA Do you find that thought intrudes on you when you’re thinking about something else? Are you losing sleep over issues, past or current? Do you ever re-experience a traumatic event almost as if it is happening again? Perhaps memories of the trauma feel really recent, even if the trauma happened a long time ago. With grief, for example, people can feel like that six-year-old child who experienced death and may find themselves acting like the six-year-old again. Traumatic memories don’t fade like “normal” memories, usually due to stress until they are processed properly. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy is a wonderful resource to help you effectively process the feelings and traumatic memories. WHAT IS HYPNOSIS? There are so many parts to each person, and while one part is in pain or suffering, another part wants to heal, and another part knows how to heal. Hypnosis can access the other parts of people that aren’t always easily available in the everyday routine and the person can then not be so affected by the memories. Hypnosis is sort of a relaxed, narrowed focus of attention that can help you overcome depression, lift trauma and phobias, reframe thinking, and stop smoking or other addictive habits. It is the deliberate use of imagination, paired with focus and relaxation. It works sort of like when you are dreaming and accessing the other parts of you, your unconscious mind, while you are awake. Some people say it is sort of like daydreaming. Have you ever come to your exit on the highway and don’t remember the drive to get there? This is a trance state. I remember watching my young niece watching a fashion video. Eyes wide open, her hand that held a potato chip raised halfway to her mouth. She was “entranced” by the presentation of the video. This is how hypnosis works; it is a relaxed focus on an image or a sound such as music. In hypnotherapy, people are focused on the issue chosen for that session. Thoughts and feelings are so important to the whole-health picture for people. For example, anxiety or depression can be caused by past trauma. Traumatic responses such as the flight or fight response come a lot quicker than the thoughts about the event and can affect a person’s reactions to events for the rest of their life. Many people talk about their immediate responses to, say, loud noises, and they know the response doesn’t make any sense, but they respond before they think about it. Because emotions are so often stronger than thoughts, it is more effective to change emotions or feelings than it is to change thoughts. Have you noticed that when you change how you feel about something, that the situation can change quickly and permanently? This is where hypnosis comes in. Hypnosis can change emotions or feelings about things, which can change how you think about and view the world around you. After hypnosis, people have said that they were not sure how it happened, but they feel different about a situation somehow. WHAT WILL HYPNOSIS DO FOR ME? Hypnosis helps with a range of issues to include, but not limited to: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Self-esteem Anxiety Depression Grief and Loss Smoking Drinking to excess Unhealthy relationships Weight loss Emotional as well as physical pain Hypnosis can also help you to reframe some past and/or current experiences. Once this is done, you can respond to other people and situations appropriately and neutrally, while honoring your needs and living your truths. This respect and acting for yourself can help you sleep better too. THE HYPNOSIS REWIND TECHNIQUE I use an approach called the Rewind Technique. The rewind technique is used for past trauma that still affects people in negative ways, such as intense memories that feel more recent than something that happened long ago. It also helps with overcoming trauma or PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, loss of sleep, that are affecting current relationships. Past trauma includes incidents that are affecting you more than you wish them to such as a car accident. The Rewind Technique is relatively new, although the original technique it evolved from was created over 30 years ago. In the therapeutic world, it has been hailed as a bit of a miracle cure as practitioners have discovered just how effective it is. And the research studies are now coming out, which back that up. A benefit of the rewind technique is that you do not have to go back through the memories in-depth, so the process is easier for you. I don’t even need to know what specifically happened – we can just refer to the incident/s by using code words that we agree on. By not having to go back over the details of the event/s, you can feel safe and secure, in a spa-like atmosphere. USING HYPNOSIS TO BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE Perhaps somewhere in the past, somewhere back there, you lost your sense of well-being and confidence. Stress and a lack of self-confidence can muddle your thinking and prevent you from finding solutions. With hypnosis, you can find that inner strength again and can relax with uncertainty. This relaxed outlook can help you more easily find solutions that work uniquely for you, and you can better manage the challenges that life throws your way. If you or someone you know suffers from PTSD, phobias, anxiety, or addictive habits, we can work together to renew strength, regain a positive outlook, and secure a happier future. You can contact Dr. Melissa Valentina today at 954-391-5305, for your free 10-minute phone consultation to see if we are a good fit. #anxiety #stress #trauma

Remember "B.C.", Before Corona? Your goals and dreams were so different than they have been lately. The social distancing and the losses we have all experienced have been overwhelming. High school seniors will not have the rituals they have been looking forward to for so long. Family members are gone or inaccessible. And relationships have changed enormously as we live in close quarters day in and day out. No leisure travel, and no knowing when we will have these freedoms again. We have such an unbelievable challenge hitting us now and no one knows how long or to what extent this COVID-19 virus will affect us all. So many of us are reaching for answers that no longer work for us – food, shopping, drugs, or alcohol - and we don’t know where to turn. These external solutions might work for a while, but there is a price we pay for overeating, overspending, and overindulging. It is easy to be scared, worried, and anxious. When we are in a negative state such as these, these states shut us down to our own inner wisdom and strengths. There is a choice here of being tense and shut down or opening to possibilities of positive choices and other options of being. After so much of the searching for external solutions, what is left but to turn inward? This turning inward has proven to be effective. While there are several ways to do this, here are three ways to access the inner knowing and calm: Hypnosis therapy. Your inner resources are there for you 24/7 and this is where the answers are. Accessing these resources is where hypnotherapy helps people to soothe, calm, and restore themselves. Daily contemplation. 20 minutes at the start of your day. When interviewed, hospice clinicians said they have to do their morning contemplation/meditation before they go out into the world, getting themselves right first before they interact with others. Deep breaths. To relax, make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale-a simple approach and it doesn’t cost anything. This tells the nervous system to relax. By calming yourself throughout your day, the mind can relax, and you are able to access solutions to problems and answers to your questions. As you do these exercises, you may notice anxious, fearful, or angry thoughts. Here's a relaxation exercise for you to try... Ask yourself, where do you feel the stress in your body? Feel it and then let it flow through you like a river, softly moving along. When thoughts come in, just let them move through you. Who are you without those thoughts? Once you are in a calm space, ask yourself – “what do I want to create?” It’s not a mind question, just let the question be there while you continue to relax, noticing where you feel it in your body. When you are ready, come back slowly, with a nice, long breath. See your surroundings, noticing the difference in your outlook. What is hypnosis? Hypnosis is a form of relaxed focus. And the focus is not on problems, rather it is on what you want to create. After a hypnosis session, clients report they are no longer worried about so many things. They are relaxed, calm, and they know what is important and what is not so important. They realize what issues need their attention and what they can do about those issues. You owe it to yourself to be your best and take this opportunity to recreate yourself, your life, and your future. This era of your life can be a time of learning how to access your inner resources. When you invest in yourself, you know yourself better, and you create a better, more fulfilling future. When you need help in an area where you are struggling and need solutions, and your current knowledge needs some outside, neutral input, it’s best to get professional help. We all need help sometimes. Just like seeing a doctor for your physical health, your emotional health is just as important, especially nowadays. It’s a good time to invest in yourself and get the help you need so you can honor yourself and live your truth. I am certified in hypnosis and my passion is grief and loss and helping people connect with their resources to reduce stress and find their way in having a calmer, wiser outlook. I have been practicing meditation or contemplation for over 30 years. Hypnosis is available through telehealth sessions as well as in person. You can reach me at 954-391-5305. #hypnotherapy #anxiety #trauma

Breathe… in and out… repeat as necessary. Now… that’s better. Stress and anxiety can make life a real struggle. Are you a worrier? Your partner has just said, “We need to talk”. You need to make a change in a relationship or situation. Or you get called into your boss’s office, again. You can’t get to sleep at night or... You’re awake at 4:00 am, and your thoughts are running in a loop. This 4:00 am wake-up happens to so many of us that there is a multitude of songs written about 4:00 am. And when you do sleep, your dreams are intense, maybe scary, and definitely bothersome. It seems like you are in a cycle of intrusive, racing thoughts as you are waking up. You think about all the “what if’s”: all the things that might happen, all the things that have happened, all of your regrets. All those thoughts just keep churning away like a runaway train. While anxiety was helpful a long time ago to alert us to physical dangers, life-threatening dangers such as being chased by a tiger, the chances of this happening these days are slim. These days we have other types of anxiety-producing situations - traffic, coworkers, family stressors, COVID, isolation due to COVID. Medical illness or physical injury is unexpected and can cause ongoing anxiety. This overwhelming anxiety, this inappropriate reaction to daily living can cause anxiety about the possible anxiety attack and can find you breathless, unable to think, and can make daily living a walk on eggshells. Are you experiencing anxiety or general dissatisfaction with your life? It wasn’t supposed to be like this! Life was supposed to be different and you were supposed to be happier and more at peace. Then some life challenges came in and you did not know how to handle all of the changes. So much was going on that required your constant attention and decision-making. Grief, the loss of a loved one, can also cause anxiety and uncertainty of the unknown. The deep pain of grief might be unlike anything you ever experienced before and can overtake you at any moment and cause anxiety and desperation to ease the pain. Past trauma causes anxiety, and you could use some help with resolving those old issues. Hypnosis combined with counseling is an amazingly effective therapy that has helped numerous people for decades with trauma and anxiety. Either you were born with this anxiety or you learned it somewhere along the way. It is your first, natural reaction to events or circumstances now. What used to work for you isn’t working anymore, and you are looking for some professional help, someone who listens and hears you, offers support and helps you to see other ways of looking at issues so that you can create workable options, options that are suitable for you and those you care about. What have you tried so far to deal with the anxiety? You have googled it, read the books, ate for comfort, gone to the spa for massages, went on a vacation out of town to get away, maybe you have even been to therapy before, and tried meditation with the app. And you are still struggling, you are still not where you want to be with this issue, feeling like it has been resolved and at peace with yourself and your life as it is now. Here are some simple ways to create instant relief from stress and anxiety: Closing your eyes for a few moments Taking a few deep, conscious breaths Stretching Daydreaming or looking at the sky for a few moments What if the life stressors just didn’t bother you like they used to? What if you had the tools to remain calm and collected in a number of various stress-producing situations? What if you could connect with these tools and resources as you needed them; without picking up a book, booking a vacation, or eating something as a way to calm and soothe yourself? Imagine yourself relaxing, easing the overwhelming anxiety, getting some relief, once and for all. You can be calm and steady in any circumstance. Hypnotherapy is a Way to Calm, Soothe, and Heal What is hypnosis or hypnotherapy? Hypnosis is a relaxed focus on your desired goals and future, a tool to experience relaxation. It is a way to relax and reprogram your mind so that you are not so bothered by things. Will I squawk like a chicken? No, that is stage or entertainment hypnosis. In therapeutic hypnosis, you will know what is going on all the time. It is sort of like a relaxing sleep or a deep daydream. Have you ever been so involved with a hobby such as gardening, or arrived at your exit on the highway and realized you were not focused on much else? Hypnosis can be sort of like this, you are in a dream-like state while functioning at other levels. Will we be doing other sorts of therapy besides hypnosis? Yes. Hypnosis compliments other forms of counseling such as Solution-Focused Therapy and Strength-based Therapy to produce a complete treatment process that is customized just for you. We will use the mode of therapy that works best for you at the time. After hypnotherapy, clients report being at peace, having a clear mind, knowing how to take care of themselves, and acting on that knowledge. These things help people to get some good, restful sleep at night, all night. Chances are there will be other life stressors as you move ahead. Approaching these in a better, calmer way will benefit you immeasurably. Let’s do the work now, so you can experience your own great results soon! We will work together until your goals are met! I have been practicing meditation and contemplation for over 30 years. Call me at 954-391-5305 to schedule a telehealth session on a HIPAA-compliant video or phone call. Let’s talk about what you need and how I can help you. I’m here for you, #anxiety #stress

You have probably tried before to quit smoking before. You picked the date, threw the cigarettes in the trash or out the window. And you have bravely resisted the cigarette from time to time. But maybe you weren’t really ready. And you probably know of someone who has quit smoking cigarettes, and they still have to resist the urge to light up. Once in a while, they want a cigarette after a meal or with a drink. This denying yourself and being controlled by a habit is not a great way to live. Remember when you didn’t smoke? Remember running or swimming or being active in some other way, and breathing deeply and cleanly? Remember when you didn’t even think about smoking? We all know that smoking is a bad habit. We all know that it is the money going up in smoke, literally. Either you quit smoking or smoking quits you at some point. So, what is your motivation to quit smoking? Your partner told you that you had to quit? Your doctor told you that you had to quit? Maybe now you are ready to quit and move forward in your life without the hassle of the addiction. Living your life where smoking is no longer a thought in your mind is doable. You now have the resources to be a non-smoker, and to live a rich, full life without the constraints of a smoker’s lifestyle - freely and dynamically. The approach that I use helps you to become a non-smoker. And to true non-smokers, smoking is something they would not even think of doing. How can Hypnosis help me to stop smoking? My approach to hypnotherapy reprograms the unconscious mind towards being a non-smoker. Hypnotherapy makes you a true non-smoker! Can I be Hypnotized? In a way, you have already been hypnotized to smoke and have been hypnotized all these years, so chances are pretty good that you can be hypnotized to stop. Call me at 954-391-5305, and we’ll talk about how you can accomplish this and how I can help. In-person and online counseling via a HIPAA-compliant platform is always available. I’m here for you!

Deciding to begin therapy is a process, and for some people, it can be more difficult than it might seem. Most people that are in search of a therapist are not waking up to rainbows and sunshine every day. Getting up, in general, maybe a huge task for you, let alone the many other things that make it hard to accept that therapy could benefit you. Historically, there has been a stigma that going to therapy means you’re “crazy” or “weak.” There are familial or cultural beliefs that may minimize the effectiveness of therapy. There’s your own internal dialogue that may be convincing you that you’re not “as bad” as someone else or that you “should” be able to handle life on your own. All of that can build a thick wall between you and the opportunities for growth and healing that therapy can provide. If you can overcome the barriers to seeking counseling and commit to the healing process, the next big hurdle is to find the right therapist for your unique needs and goals. In fact, this is the step that feels overwhelming for a lot of people and can deter them from the whole process. Some people may have even had a bad experience with a previous therapist. Instead of continuing their search to find the right fit, they throw in the towel until years later they’re at their wit's end and have no choice but to try again. It doesn’t have to be like this for you. We’re lucky that we have options in this day in age and we of course have the internet! It’s a beautiful thing when used properly. You have access to tons of information to help you narrow down what you’re looking for in an online therapist AND now you can even meet with your therapist online via telehealth. It might take a little getting used to, but there are a couple of key benefits to online therapy. INCREASED ACCESS - One, you have access to way more options for therapists than those just down the road from your house. You can be more selective about the qualities and criteria you think will best fit your needs. You also may find that therapists offering online therapy have more flexibility in their schedules to support you at hours that typically wouldn’t be available in the office. CONVENIENCE - The second significant benefit is getting to do therapy from ANYWHERE. You can sit comfortably at home for your session or even meet during your lunch break at work. It removes the challenge of getting to an office appointment when you have a busy schedule, and to be honest, some people feel more comfortable diving into deeper topics from the coziness of their own couch. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty of what to consider when picking out who you’d like to work with for online counseling. The first reality you have to accept is that NOT EVERY THERAPIST IS GOING TO BE FOR YOU. Here are some points to consider when searching for your online therapist via telehealth. Types of Licensure It’s probably not a shock that you should always consider a licensed professional that has legitimate training to support you and your mental health. But what do all of those letters at the end of a name mean? There are several different credentials and sometimes you’ll see variations from state to state, but here are a few of the most common in Florida. Psychiatrists (MD): These are practitioners that have completed medical school. You’ll most likely see “Dr.” at the beginning of their name. They typically prescribe and manage medication and work with other practitioners that provide the therapy component of treatment. Psychologists (PsyD; Ph.D.): These practitioners have completed doctoral-level psychology programs. As with many therapists in private practice, they may have expertise in a specific area or with specific conditions. They cannot prescribe medication but may work with a psychiatrist that can. They can diagnose, provide counseling and psychological testing. Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW): These practitioners have completed a master’s level clinical social work program, which includes the study of both psychology and sociology. Those with an “LCSW” have completed all of the licensure requirements and can provide services independently. Those with a “Registered Clinical Social Worker Intern” status are still in the process of completing the licensure requirements and are overseen by a clinical supervisor. Social workers are found in many different settings within human services. They cannot prescribe medication but may work with a psychiatrist that can. They can diagnose and provide counseling. Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC): These practitioners have completed a master’s level psychology or counseling program. Those with an “LMHC” have completed all of the licensure requirements and can provide services independently. Those with a “Registered Mental Health Counseling Intern” status are still in the process of completing the licensure requirements and are overseen by a clinical supervisor. They cannot prescribe medication but may work with a psychiatrist that can. They can diagnose and provide counseling. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT): These practitioners have completed a master’s level marriage and family therapy program. Those with an “LMFT” have completed all of the licensure requirements and can provide services independently. Those with a “Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern” status are still in the process of completing the licensure requirements and are overseen by a clinical supervisor. They cannot prescribe medication but may work with a psychiatrist that can. They can diagnose and provide counseling. Know what you want to work on! This is probably the most important factor to have figured out when you begin searching for a therapist. Identify the top two or three areas that you’d like to focus on in therapy and have them ready when you make the call to talk to someone. You might even want to do a bit of research about what types of therapy are most effective for the issues you’re going through so that you can find someone with experience and training to best support you. If you’re struggling with depression you might want someone that utilizes cognitive behavioral therapy or interpersonal therapy in their practice. If you’re struggling with anxiety, you may want someone that uses dialectical behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, or exposure therapy. Or maybe you’d like a more specialized approach with something like EMDR therapy for trauma, art therapy for depression or anxiety, or an alternative method like the emotional freedom technique for physical pain and emotional distress. ALWAYS ask a new therapist what methods they are most familiar with and how they use them to help people like yourself. This will give you information about whether they are a good fit for you. Insurance vs Self Pay: Of course, you’ll want to consider how you are paying for the service. Just like going to the doctor, you’ll want to know what your out-of-pocket expense is going to be before you make your decision to move forward with a therapist. Some therapists work with insurance companies, so if you have benefits look into what providers are available. This option is a little more limited depending on your insurance plan, so your other option is to consider self-pay. There are several reasons why a therapist would choose to only work with self-paying clients, but the most prominent is to avoid the limitations that insurance companies can impose on your therapy. If you choose a self-pay-only provider, talk with them about utilizing your out-of-network benefits for reimbursement or sliding scale options if finances are strained for you. Other Preferences To Consider Now that you have honed in on the professional training, areas of concern, and the services available for your budget, you need to think about the human qualities that are going to be the best fit. This can be what makes or breaks the therapeutic relationship. You don’t have to be identical twins with your therapist or even know every little thing about them to work with them, BUT if you don’t vibe right with the person, it’s going to create a major barrier in the success of your therapy. Ask yourself a few questions…Is there a specific gender that you feel safer with? Are you concerned about the experience level that the person has? Are you looking for someone within your ethnic or cultural background? Would you benefit from working with a person that shares your sexual orientation? How did it feel talking with the person on the phone during your initial consultation? Check out their website. Do you like what you see? It’s okay to talk with a few different therapists before making your decision. It’s also okay to have an initial session to explore any ambivalence that you have to see if it can be overcome. Therapy is deeply personal. It can feel scary to approach. As therapists, we know this. Our primary goal is to be the support that you need to work through whatever brings you into therapy. You aren’t alone; we’re waiting for your call! If you have questions about whether online counseling is right for you, give us a call at 954-391-5305. We provide online therapy throughout the state of Florida and in-person, face-to-face counseling in our Coral Springs and Fort Lauderdale offices. *This article was written by Nicole Ambrose, LCSW. For more information about her services in Coral Springs or online counseling options, click here.

Faz tempo que você gostaria de se sentar com a família e conversar sobre muitas coisas que nunca foram expressadas. Consequentemente a tensão está se agravando e sua dor também. Talvez o problema está com os seus irmãos, ou talvez há uma separação emocional com seus pais. Na época talvez você pensou que seria melhor deixar pra lá, e seguir em frente ate você ter sua própria vida, mas a falta de comunicação deixou vocês se sentindo ofendidos, defensíveis e hostis. Certos limites, comportamentos, e escolhas em lidar com a sua família de origem não foram das mais saudáveis. Agora você nota que está usando estes mesmos comportamentos com os seus novos relacionamentos. Você tenta agir melhor com o seu parceiro, mas as vezes você se sente acionado por uma situação que te leva ao passado quando você tinha 15 anos e não conseguia se fazer ouvir. Você pensa para si mesmo, “Como eu começo esta comunicação? Quem é o culpado? Em quem da minha família posso me apoiar, para expressar este interesse em trazer todos para a terapia e resolver problemas que desejávamos resolver a anos atrás? Como dizem os especialistas em relacionamentos, a questão não é a culpa, a questão é estar preso dentro de um padrão negativo de comunicação e comportamentos criado por uma família. Abaixo estão boas razoes para que você resolva seus relacionamentos familiares: Um dos membros principais de sua família se fechou e se distanciou. Você não confia em alguns membros de sua família Você se sente como que pisando em cascas de ovos quando ao redor de certos membros de sua família. Um de seus familiares estão apresentando comportamentos arriscados ou estão se viciando. Um evento traumatizante afetou a família inteira. Seus filhos adultos ainda moram em casa e não apresentam sinais de autonomia. Seus pais, quando divorciaram, te usaram para machucar uns aos outros. Pais e filhos já adultos não entendem uns aos outros ou tem visões completamente diferentes. Certas alianças prejudiciais ou preferencias foram dolorosas para sua família. Não há muito amor, empatia, ou apoio emocional evidenciado em sua família. Vamos supor que você saiba que se qualifique em um destes cenários. Neste caso, é essencial pensar na família por inteira, como ela opera, quais são os papeis de cada membro, e quem seriam os melhores aliados para te ajudar em levantar interesse em uma terapia engajada em respeito e mediação. Como conseguir juntar seus membros familiares? Você pode começar contatando seus familiares mais próximos e realçar as possibilidades positivas para cada pessoa, assim como as coisas poderiam ser diferentes, como cada pessoa poderia recuperar relacionamentos, apoio emocional, e mais felicidade. Outra maneira de alistar seus parentes a participar de terapia é poder alinhar as metas da família. Se existe uma meta em que todos podem concordam, então é por aí que você pode começar. Exemplos seriam aprimorando a comunicação, concertando problemas de comportamentos, melhorando a empatia aos outros, ajustando limites pessoais, ou reduzindo conflitos, são ótimos motivos para uma família se juntar para o bem maior. Se nenhum destes métodos funcionarem, convide seus familiares a te apoiar como historiadores adicionais, para que vocês tenham um entendimento correto do passado na terapia. Desta maneira você poderá ter menos desentendimentos e juntos atingirem a melhor resolução que procuram. Adicionalmente, os demasiados familiares presentes, poderão oferecer outros pontos de vista, oferecer apoio, e também melhorar problemas que eles mesmos carregavam. Qual são os resultados positivos da terapia familiar? O que eu percebo nas minhas sessões de terapia é que quando uma família participa junta, cada membro beneficia em escutar como ele é valorizado em sua família. Ele escuta comentários positivos que nunca escutariam sem o incentivo de um profissional. Ele também tem a oportunidade de expressar sua opinião e compartir suas emoções sem medo de retaliação. O terapeuta pode assegurar que cada membro tenha sua própria voz, e tenha seu ponto de vista retratado de uma maneira em que a família inteira entenda. Uma outra mudança cognitiva importante para a família e aprender que não há “culpados” em relacionamentos, ou membros “problemáticos.” A família percebe que o comportamento da pessoa teve seu motivo, baseado no entendimento que ela tinha do relacionamento. Membros da família aprendem a usar “declarações eu” para comunicar os seus problemas, remover a culpa, estimular o compartilhamento de sentimentos, e focar em soluções. Se você gostaria de receber os benefícios de criar uma família mais saudável, considere tirar um tempo para investir em uma terapia familiar. Um terapeuta familiar também pode te ajudar individualmente a reconhecer seu valor, se relacionar melhor com a sua família de origem, também aperfeiçoar seus novos relacionamentos. Você só tem uma família- faça valer. Tome seu primeiro passo e ligue hoje para obter sua consulta grátis de 15 minutos pelo telefone 954.391.5305.

Do you have a loved one who identifies within the LGBTQIA+ community? Or has someone recently come out to you? Maybe you don’t know what to say or do. Sometimes we are so focused on saying the “right thing” that we miss the true essence regarding the vulnerability and humanity within the conversation. It is normal to feel a little awkward, so try to approach your own feelings with compassion too. If someone is coming out to you for the first time, I invite you to think of it in this way: “they are telling me because I am important to them, they value me, and they want to be honest with me.” Remind yourself that as a friend or family member, this person has chosen to come out to you and acknowledge the role you play in making them feel safe, supported, and validated. They want to share their life with you. Wow, what an honor! Coming out can be a very scary experience, therefore, support is incredibly important. There are many different ways you can be supportive. These will apply to those who are just coming out and to those who have already shared their identity with you. Below I will list tips on how to be a good support/ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. Be Open to Learn and Listen Coming out doesn’t just mean that you are entering into a space of acceptance and well-being. Sometimes, coming out is worse than holding that information in. “Coming out” is the common term we use; however, I want to shift your thinking to the perspective of being “invited in.” By using these words, we are recognizing the role language plays in giving the impression that people who do not identify as cis-gendered (a person whose personal identity and gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth) are hiding something. It is so important to acknowledge the role that (both internalized and externalized) homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia have in making a very unwelcoming and fearful environment. If we think of this as others “inviting” us in, we can also see this as someone extending an invitation to learn more about their identity. Part of being supportive to your LGBTQIA+ friends and family means developing an understanding of what life is like for them. How the world views and treats them. Asking individuals about their personal experiences and listening. As simple as this may sound, it is so meaningful. Having Conversations How do I start a conversation? What if I say the wrong thing? Be honest. Tell them you feel a bit uncomfortable if you do. Tell them that you are completely new to this and want to learn more about their experience. Golden rule: be as open and supportive as you would like for them to be for you. It is important to ask for a little time to process the information before speaking further about it if you need to. It likely took this person a very long time to be okay sharing this with you. Allow yourself some grace as you adjust and process the news. It’s okay to ask questions. This shows you’re interested and that you are taking them seriously. Do your best to stay curious without trying to change or pressure them. Privilege Check When exploring privilege, we can think of race, class, education, being able-bodied, or being cis-gendered. Being privileged doesn’t mean that you haven’t had your own fair share of difficulties and judgment in your own life - it just means that there are some things you won’t ever have to think or worry about because of the way you were born. Understanding the ways in which you are different and how that impacts how you see the world, how the world sees you, and the treatment you receive from others helps one to recognize and have empathy and compassion for oppressed persons. Here are a few examples of cis-privilege: I can walk in public and hold my partner's hand, hug, and even kiss my partner in front of others without disapproval, comments, laughter, harassment, or the threat of potential violence. My sexual orientation is not used to exclude me from any profession or organization (medical care, employment opportunities, the military, etc.) I can easily find a religious community that will welcome me and my partner. I can be sure that my sexual orientation will be represented often and accurately in movies, TV shows, and music. Being an Ally The role of being an ally is more than just its term. An ally will typically do things such as: defend against discrimination, bullying, harmful jokes, and advocate and/or protest for LGBTQIA+ rights. Being a good ally often entails advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights and defending individuals even when they are not around. Being a good ally also means being open to the idea of being wrong and still having the willingness to work on it. It takes the effort of many to create an environment of acceptance and change - to continue pushing towards it, even when it is uncomfortable. To be consistent in being an ally is to create a safer future for those in the community and for all to come. Check Your Assumptions Don’t assume someone is cis-gendered. Be careful in assuming someone’s gender or pronouns. By not making assumptions we are actually holding and creating a safe space for individuals to be their authentic selves. LGBTQIA+ individuals don’t speak or look a certain way. A few examples of harmful things to say are: “No way you can be a (insert sexuality) and look (insert characteristic of appearance),” “have you ever even tried to be with (insert someone of the opposite sex)?” or “you are too pretty to be gay.” It is important to be intentional about what we say and what we mean by it. We are surrounded by members of the LGBTQIA+ community all of the time and are bound to know at least one person who identifies as a member of the community. This is why it is so important to practice these things not only indirect interactions but in your daily life. In fact, approximately one in every four families in this country has a family member who is LGBTQIA+. You may be interacting with individuals who have not come out yet, don’t feel safe to come out, or individuals with loved ones who identify within the community. There is no perfect way to be a friend or family member to someone who identifies as LGBTQIA+. If you accidentally assume, misgender someone or use the wrong pronouns - it happens. Be compassionate to yourself while you are learning. You can apologize and even share with that person “I want to be good support and I am learning; I am still working on it. If I say something wrong, know that I didn't mean it from a place of harm. Please correct me if I do this again.” To have someone express a desire to want to learn how to provide support and safety is so meaningful. Even if mistakes are made, it is the intention that means so much. Each person is different, but honesty and effort don’t go unnoticed. If you took the time to read this blog today, you are in the right place. If any of this resonates with you, if you are wanting to learn more, or begin your own journey to being supported, please reach out to me (Alex Steiner, LCSW) today. I offer complimentary consultations so we can ensure we are a good match for each other so call me today to schedule at 954-391-5305. I look forward to hearing from you and supporting you along your journey!