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- 25 Questions To Spark Interesting Conversations With Your Partner
I ordered something for less than $10 on Amazon the other day. It was a paperback book with 1001 questions and conversation starters. Initially, I clicked the impulse purchase as I envisioned bringing this on a road trip where we could spend hours flipping through the questions, learning new things about each other, and laughing to pass each mile marker. But when the book arrived, its purpose shifted, still focusing on enriching and deepening connections, but in a more simple application, with my partner, on a date night! Conversations can become so routine, we almost know exactly what to expect and not that there is anything wrong with that, routines can be comfortable. But being vulnerable and daring in relationships is what it’s all about. Learning little things about your partner can re-ignite the spark and intrigue you in different ways. And questions, can not only allow for you to get to know your partner better but you’ll be surprised at how much you can learn about yourself too! Keeping a relationship strong and happy requires that both of you are fulfilled by each other and continuously learning each other’s inner thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. This will enable you to share in ways you never thought possible. Below are 25 questions to provide insight into your relationship. Write these on some cards or copy them into the notes app on your iPhone and bring them to your next date night just for fun. You’ll be surprised at how much you enjoy listening to your partner and mulling over these yourself. What’s something about yourself that you hope will never change? What books have you read that’ve had a big influence on you? What strange habit do you have? What fear would you like to overcome? What person, dead or alive, do you wish you could be more like? Growing up, what was your favorite children’s story or fairy tale? What’s your favorite poem or saying? What was your favorite subject in school? How have your priorities changed over time? Who’s had the biggest influence on you? What’s your earliest childhood memory? What nightmare woke you up in a panic? What memorable lesson did you learn from your parents? If you could travel back in time, what year would you visit? If you could spend an hour doing anything, what would it be? What does success mean to you? If you could visit with any person in history, who would it be? Have you ever helped a complete stranger? How? If you could go anywhere for dinner tomorrow, where would you go? What’s one of your greatest accomplishments? What do you think is your best quality? If you could turn into any animal, which one would you be? If you could write a bestselling book, what would it be about? What goals have you recently set for yourself? How are you doing with these goals so far? If you were a painter, what picture would you paint first? If you want additional help with communication tips or want to deepen your connection with your partner, Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT at Bayview Therapeutic Services is just a phone call away at 954-391-5305. Dr. Kate provides pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and couples counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Happy connecting!
- What Causes Anxiety?
Want to know more about what causes anxiety? Then read on... It's completely normal to feel anxious or worried when facing a deadline, presentation, or challenging situation at home. But when your worries are preventing you from living your life as you’d like to, you may be suffering from anxiety. You should know, you’re not alone. The National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) says that over 40 million people in the U.S. over the age of 18 suffer from some anxiety-related disorder, and those are just the people who have been diagnosed, or whose symptoms fit into a pre-described condition. Millions more go undiagnosed. There are numerous types of anxiety disorders and just as many effective, tangible treatments and strategies you can seek for help. Understanding the anxiety and getting the help you need can reduce your symptoms and make strides to regaining control of your life. Anxiety is the body’s natural response to danger. It’s an automatic alarm that goes off when you feel threatened, under pressure, or is facing a stressful situation. Anxiety begins with an internal movement, that can more often than not have external tells: sweaty palms, tight, quick breaths, flushed cheeks. We all experiencing anxiety, but when it becomes a painful, constant state of overwhelming control, we may have crossed the line and are trekking through the territory of anxiety disorders. Several parts of the brain are key factors in the production of fear and anxiety. Using brain imaging technology, scientists have discovered that the amygdala and the hippocampus play significant roles in most anxiety disorders. The amygdala is believed to be a communications hub between the parts of the brain that process incoming sensory signals and the parts that interpret these signals, ultimately altering the rest of the brain that a threat is present and trigger a fear or anxiety response. The hippocampus is the part of the brain that encodes threatening events into memories, stored in your brain, to assist with the fight or flight, but when we’re anxious, it’s a constant state of fight and flight, ramping up your anxiety and symptoms. Once you recognize these symptoms and feel ready to seek help, there are different therapeutic approaches you can incorporate and rely on to manage your anxiety. Anxiety responds very well to see a professional therapist. And working through cognitive-behavior therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, or even exposure therapy can facilitate your healing process. Your thoughts will be confronted and ultimately reframed, your actions will then follow and your behavior will catch up, allowing you to live a life that is exactly how you’d like it to be. You may never fully get rid of anxiety, because it can, in moderation, motivate you to accomplish deadlines and work through nervous presentations, but therapy can empower you to take control and live a life without crippling worry. If you struggle with anxiety and want to learn more effective ways to cope, call Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT to discuss setting up a session at 954-391-5305. You’ll learn specific techniques to help you self-soothe, reduce anxiety, and better manage stress. Dr. Kate provides anxiety therapy and anxiety treatment in Fort Lauderdale, Florida for adults and their loved ones.
- 4 Tips to Prepare for an Empty Nest
Parents, Congrats! You survived the teenage years and are preparing to launch your high school grad into their freshman year of college. Can you believe how fast time flies? Change isn’t always easy, but it is inevitable. This summer has most likely felt like a roller coaster as you packed in as many memories as possible from vacations to shopping for dorm room supplies. This transition marks an important milestone in your child’s life, which is exciting and scary all at the same time. It’s also a big transition for you and your partner as well! For the past 18 years, you’ve pretty much focused all priorities around raising your child and supporting your family, but those priorities are about to shift. Below are 4 tips to prepare for an empty nest so you and your partner can successfully navigate this transition. 1.) Connect with your support system. Talk with other parents who are going through the same thing or have just been through it. Remember, every family goes through this so you’re not alone. Parental support in your community is a great resource and you’ll find comfort in hearing what other families have been through. You will feel a void in the house and your family dynamic with shift, even if you still have younger children at home. You will most likely experience lots of mixed emotions, stress, uncertainties, changes, opportunity, growth, and of course pride. Talk about it, with each other, with a therapist, and with your other children. It’s ok to share where you are on that rollercoaster ride and you all will most likely be getting through it together! 2.) Re-prioritize your relationship with your partner. It’s no surprise that many couples drift apart during the childrearing years. However, it’s super important to re-prioritize your relationship so you don’t feel like you’re living with a stranger once the kids leave. Your relationship will need time to adjust after launching your kids off to school. Sometimes couples feel as though their children are all they have in common with each other, but that simply isn’t the case. In fact, studies show that marriages of empty nesters gained significant marital satisfaction once the kids left! Plan dates, create new memories together and spend quality time reconnecting with your spouse/partner. Go through the process and transition together. Be supportive and empathetic to each other. You two should be very proud, relish in that! 3.) Be an anchor for your college freshman. Take comfort in the concept that a part of you is going with your child off to school. After all, you and your partner have established the foundation over the past 18 years and that will accompany your child throughout their tenure at school! Your child will be experiencing and adjusting to many things all at once; roommates, finances, school-work like they’ve never known before, meal plans, keg stands, household chores, and time management. Your child will need emotional support from their family to make it through the next four years. Be there for them, listen, and encourage them. You might not be able to fix their problems, so prepare to be an empathetic listener and a cheerleader! Also, you and your partner will need to work on your tech-savviness as you may not be getting a phone call every week as you hoped. It may be quick texts here and there throughout the week or a FaceTime check-in… so work together to be flexible and open to your freshman’s preferred communication style. 4.) Go to Couples or Individual Therapy. Your identity will shift a bit as you become an empty nester and so will your relationship with your spouse/partner. Take time to explore your feelings and vulnerabilities about this transition in therapy by yourself and/or with your partner. Couples therapy can help you and your partner reconnect as friends, rekindle the spark, and revive the intimacy creating more a fulfilled relationship to carry you through the next stage of life together. If you need additional support with the college transition or any other life changes, call Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT at 954-391-5305 to discuss setting up a session. Dr. Kate provides counseling for adults experiencing transitions with individual counseling, couples counseling, and family counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
- How do I talk to my partner about a behavior that's really bothering me?
In an ideal world, you and your partner could carry on blissfully without anything ever bothering or annoying you. However, that simply isn’t the case. And in fact, you may not want it to be. Studies show that when couples discuss and work through irritating behaviors they are exhibiting healthier communication (think more open, less defensive, and more willing). This actually creates higher levels of comfortability around each other, as they can be their most relaxed self. But that certainly won’t quell the frustration in the moment of despair when you’ve had enough and decide it’s time to speak your mind. So if and when you decide to speak your mind, this post is for you! Let’s have a soft start to this, as it can be incredibly delicate and touchy. Try sharing your complaint with your partner without blaming them. You can navigate through this in using “I” statements (I’m upset that after a long day at work there is a pile of dishes in the sink) as opposed to “You” language (you never do the dishes and always wait for me to get home to do them). Remember, this isn’t an attack on your partner, but simply a conversation in which you’ll express yourself and work together in alleviating this bother. Focus on the WHAT – for example, leaving dirty dishes on the counter or in the sink to “soak.” It can be very tempting to jump a few paces ahead and label your partner as being selfish and inconsiderate but focus on what is bothering you as opposed to an assumed underlying meaning. Another approach is to start these conversations by genuinely sharing what you appreciate about your partner then make a softer transition into what you’re hoping you two can work changing TOGETHER. That soft start-up can almost guarantee a more peaceful conversation with your partner as opposed to starting off with a swing and upper left hook to their habits. If you’re going to be discussing a bothersome habit of your partners, try stating observations and avoid over-generalizations. Over-generalized criticisms sound like this: “You ALWAYS leave the dirty dishes out,” or “you NEVER remember to text me at the end of your workday.” Statements like this propel the defendant to begin to think of exceptions as to free them from this charge. You two aren’t in a heated defense trail in which evidential support needs to be recalled. You’re in a relationship, in which openness, love, compromise, and understanding should be the framework. Remember to be vulnerable and sincere with your partner. Despite these bothersome features or traits, you do love this person, lead with that. Try your best to be concise and stick to one complaint at a time. These conversations can be difficult, no need to drag them out for hours on end. These conversations can be difficult, but they also can be wildly beneficial and potentially beautiful. The two of you can deepen intimacy and build a strong bond if you’re able to communicate freely and trust in one other to have your best intentions in mind. Seek to understand your partner and their point of view behind the behavior. Try to learn as much as possible from each other so you can continue to evolve and grow together. If you want additional help with communication, conflict management, or want to deepen your connection with your partner, Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT and the team at Bayview Therapeutic Services are just a phone call away at 954.391.5305. Happy conversing! Dr. Kate provides pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and couples counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
- The 5 Love Languages and How they Can Enhance Your Relationship
Hello! Hola. Bonjour. Guten Morgen. Ola. Hallo. Privet. I love languages. A budding linguist in school, I enjoyed learning other languages and found a natural knack for understanding different languages. I also love communication, whether it be verbal or nonverbal communication. A quick glance around while standing in a crowded room will provide you with more information than an hour-long conversation with any individual. A question most couples ask when seeking counseling services is, “How can I communicate better with my partner?” Whenever I see a couple stuck in poor communication patterns, or lamenting about how the other partner “just doesn’t understand” I’m reminded of the many ways we communicate with one another and one of the most powerful ways we communicate: through our love languages. The Five Love Languages were developed by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1995 as a way of explaining how individuals show and like to be shown, love. Dr. Chapman identifies the five love languages as: Words of Affirmation Quality Time Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch Maybe you already have an idea of what your love language is and how you like to be shown love. A common example often used in counseling is when one partner unloads the dishwasher as an act of service to the other and then becomes upset when they feel unappreciated by their partner. Maybe you need a lot of quality time with your partner and watching TV together after dinner doesn’t really cut it for you. Whatever the case may be, if you and your partner don’t understand each other’s love language, you’ll be hard-pressed to find satisfaction in your relationship and may even grow to become angry or resentful towards your partner. If you’re unsure of your love language, or your partner’s love language, visit 5 Love Languages and take the free quiz. Your partner will be able to take the quiz too and once you’ve both received your results you can have a conversation about what the results mean to your happiness as a couple. Here’s a little bit of what each love language is about: Words of Affirmation: When you tell your partner, “You look nice today” or “You’re really a great parent” or “I really appreciate how hard you work for our family” you’re using words of affirmation to express your love to your partner. Quality Time: Quality time is when you give your undivided attention to your partner, either by asking about their day or engaging in conversation about a hobby or passion of his or her. Receiving Gifts: It might seem strange, but for some individuals, the process of thinking about a special gift to give by their partner and/or receiving something thoughtful from their partner is how their love is shown. Even small gifts are gestures of love and should be treated accordingly. Acts of Service: Acts of service include all those little things you do for your partner or your partner does for you. Like receiving gifts, these don’t need to be huge to show love; something as simple as emptying the dishwasher, doing the laundry, or taking out the trash are just a few of the ways acts of service show love. Physical Touch: Some people just love to be touched. They love hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc. For people whose love language is physical touch, cuddling can mean more than the words, “I love you”. Now you know the five love languages, what can you do with them and how can they enhance your relationship? For starters, find out what your top two love languages are (you might have a primary and secondary way you show love and like to be shown love), and secondly, find out your partner’s love language. Once you’ve found out your love language, a whole new world of communication is opened up to you and your partner. If you understand when your partner does the dishes for you, they are showing you, love, you’ll return the kindness and positivity by doing something for them in his or her own love language. The same holds true for you when you speak to your partner in his or her love language; they will respond to you in kind. And who doesn’t want better communication in a relationship? It’s easier to forget the language our partner is speaking to us, especially when we’re caught up in all the little things life throws at us: work, school, children, household chores, a social life, etc. I encourage you to find a way to be mindful of what you’re partner is trying to tell you when he or she does something that may not seem to make sense. Perhaps trying to swoop in for a kiss or hug when you’ve just come home from the gym isn’t an attempt to be annoying, but rather for your partner to show you affection. If you want to learn more about the love languages, figure out your own love language, or find a way to get you and your partner speaking in love again, Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT is just a phone call 954-391-5305 or click away to discuss your options and how we can work together to get you the life and relationship you want. Dr. Kate provides couples counseling, pre-marital counseling, and marriage therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
- 6 Strategies to Help Your Child with Bullying Today
You've heard about bullying, but never thought it would happen to your family. Imagine how you would respond if your child disclosed that they were being bullied. What would you do if they told you that one of their peers repeatedly said nasty things to them, humiliated them in front of their classmates, or even physically hurt them? What would you say to your child? What would you do about the situation? Who would you report this to? People tend to throw around the word bullying and bullying prevention often, but what exactly is bullying? Bullying is defined as the abuse and mistreatment of someone vulnerable by someone stronger or more powerful. Did you know that October is National Bullying Prevention Month? The National Center for Education Statistics shows that from 2015, 21% of students between the ages of 12-18 reported being bullied at school. Here’s the breakdown: 13% of the 21% reported they were made fun of; 12% reported they were the subject of rumors; 5% reported they were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on; and 4% reported they were physically threatened or harmed. If your child is being bullied, here are 6 Strategies to Help Your Child with Bullying Today. Talk about it. Ask open-ended questions to find out what happened. Discuss how they felt at the time and how they feel about it now. Let them know you hear them, understand and are here to help. Empathize with your child. Tell them bullying is wrong and it’s not their fault. Amplify how brave they are for coming forth. Consult them regarding solutions. Ask them what they think can be done to help the situation. Start documenting. Keep a log of all incidents of bullying with your child. It may take time to resolve the issue. Skill Building. Help your child develop skills for handling bullies. Provide suggestions to help your child deal with bullying. Therapy is a wonderful resource for helping children and their parents learn strategies for building confidence, assertiveness, and self-protection. Share your concerns with school authorities. Meet with your child’s teacher/s first to discuss the situation and how to ensure your child’s safety. Depending on the severity of the situation, you may need to meet with the Principal and/or Assistant Principal to discuss and advocate for bullying prevention strategies school-wide. Most schools have a zero-tolerance for bullying, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Know your school’s policy in dealing with bullying and keep a direct line of communication with your school authorities. Hold your school accountable for solutions to the bullying, and monitor them for those solutions. If your child is or has dealt with the bullying of any kids and you need additional support, contact us to discuss your options for therapeutic support. Give us a call at 954-391-5305 to set up an appointment with one of our expert therapists at BayviewTherapy.com. We provide counseling for children being bullied, parents of children being bullied, and anxious children in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
- 5 Warning Signs of a Doomed Marriage
A previous supervisor and I used to have a running joke whenever we felt like something was about to go wrong. He loved the TV show “Lost in Space” and whenever he felt like there was about to be a missed deadline, a long meeting, or just a tough day at work, he’d say, “Danger, Will Robinson!” It became our office code word, sort of like “batten down the hatches” except our difficult days often included a sea of paperwork, not rough waves. My work as a couple’s counselor gives me the wonderful opportunity to work with couples who are looking to not only strengthen the relationship but sometimes save it. If you notice you and your partner beginning to see the warning signs below, don't hesitate to reach out for help. 1. Physical Disconnection. The first warning sign of things amiss in a marriage or long-term relationship is physical disconnection such as sleeping in separate rooms. The Wall Street Journal published a 2014 article, Couples on Different Sleep Schedules Can Expect Conflict - And Adapt, and more recently in 2015 Romantic Reminders.com reminded us Why The Happiest Couples Go to Bed at the Same Time. It might not always be possible for couples to go to bed at the same time, yet it’s almost always possible to sleep in the same bed. Couples who sleep in separate beds every night run the risk of physical, emotional, and sexual disconnect. 2. Criticism. It's normal that you don't agree with everything your spouse does; it's NOT normal to criticize your spouse every chance you get. I'm speaking directly to ladies here, as I've witnessed first hand that unhappily married women can find solace in talking about (their partners) but men, you're not exempt for this behavior either. Criticism is so much more than disagreeing with your partner and his/her behaviors. Criticism is an attack at a very personal level. Phrases like, “You're lazy” are just one example of criticism that can pop up in relationships. These personal attacks also result in blaming your partner for anything going wrong, in life or the relationship. 3. Emotional Disconnection or Avoidance. Just like a physical disconnection, emotional disconnection occurs in relationships, too. You may have heard about when individuals have “emotional affairs”, when one person steps outside of the relationship to meet emotional needs of feeling accepted, heard, understood, even loved. It may seem harmless, to open up emotionally to someone other than your spouse, but in actuality, it's not. Your spouse is your teammate, your better half, and when you begin to rely on another person to meet your emotional needs, you and your partner are denied a deep emotional connection. A shared vision of a life together, thoughts and dreams, and communicating honestly about issues within the relationship only make the relationship stronger. 4. Stonewalling. This behavior is listed as one of Dr. John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for relationships. A tactic so hurtful in relationships, it's likened to the end of the world, which can be the end of your relationship. When stonewalling is used in a relationship, it shuts down the line of communication between the two individuals, with no chance of reopening. The act of shutting down and shutting out your partner in the middle of the conversation or argument leaves him or her voiceless and powerless. It may seem like a positive technique when arguing, “I’m going to walk away until I feel calm enjoy discussing this” or “I’m going to end this argument and pretend it didn’t happen.” Nothing could be further from the truth. In the long run, stonewalling leads to neither a resolution, nor a compromise and leave both individuals feeling emotionally and psychologically checked out of the argument, and maybe even the relationship. 5. Lack of Romance. While the initial spark of romance may dwindle from a long-term relationship, a lack of romance or passion for the other person can be the nail in the coffin for a marriage. Marriage takes work and when your marriage isn’t prioritized, it allows for so many other things in life to take priority over your spouse. Quality time together is important, because it allows you to remember why you fell in love with your spouse, as well as show you the continued personal growth, and relationship growth. When you’re not paying attention, it can be akin to missing a child take his or her first steps, or say his or her first word. Schedule weekly date nights and leave your phones on silent to really connect with your partner. If after reading this list you find yourself worried your relationship may be heading in the wrong direction, there is hope. You and your partner may see some of the warning signs of a doomed marriage, yet that doesn’t mean you can’t take action now to turn your marriage around. Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT is just a phone call at 954-391-5305 or click away to discuss your options and how we can work together to get you the life and relationship you want. Dr. Kate provides couples counseling, marriage therapy, and pre-marital counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
- Six Tips To Manage Holiday Stress
Ah, the holidays, or should I say AHHH!!! The holidays. We all wait for them, love them, and then when they arrive, we dread them. Why do you ask? The spending, the indulging, and yes, even the family dynamics can cause stress. Here are six tips to manage holiday stress. 1) Set a spending budget: Review your finances, and start planning ahead. Come up with a realistic spending budget. Buying gifts should never affect your ability to pay bills. 2) Get plenty of exercises: Exercise can alleviate stress. Strive for at least 30 minutes three days a week. You can walk, run, swim or dance. Just get out there and get moving! 3) Keep it simple: You don’t have to go to every party or cook every dinner. Ask for help, know your limitations. Say yes when you want to and no when you need to. 4) Take time for yourself: Setting aside time for yourself is a great way to cope with stress. Get your hair done, go for a walk outside, read a book or binge on your favorite Netflix show. Even 15 minutes of alone time can make a world of difference. 5) Pick your battles: Now is NOT the time to tell Uncle Charlie how much you don’t like his new wife. Being with the family in close quarters for a long period of time can be stressful. Try to stay calm and stay on neutral topics. If you feel something brewing, take a quick break. Politely excuse yourself from the situation. Take a bathroom break or get a breath of fresh air outside. 6) Plan ahead: Set specific times for visiting friends, shopping, baking, or other activities. Planning ahead will help prevent last-minute overwhelm. The holidays are a blessing and it’s important to focus on what we’re grateful for. If you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious about the holidays, therapy can help! Give Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT, and the team at Bayview Therapeutic Services a call at (954)391-5305 or visit BayviewTherapy.com to see how we can help you stress less this season! Dr. Kate provides anxiety treatment, stress management therapy, and anxiety counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida for individuals and their loved ones.
- How to Parent an Anxious Child Without Making it Worse
When children struggle with moderate to severe anxiety, even the calmest and positive parent can become stressed out and impatient. If you are one of those parents, you know how it feels to be held hostage. Children who worry too much and need constant reassurance tend to do anything to avoid situations that they consider frightening. Some of those fears seem absurd to parents and they have a hard time understanding why their child feels that way. Avoidance sometimes also comes with behaviors that are difficult to manage such as lying, isolating, and feeling sick, crying, and throwing a fit. This can make parents feel overwhelmed, powerless, and confused as they struggle with knowing how to support and encourage their children. This dynamic can create a negative cycle that exacerbates both, the parent's and child’s stress and anxiety. To parent an anxious child it’s important to accept that the goal is not to eliminate anxiety but to support your child in the process of learning how to manage it. Although seeing your child struggle feels really upsetting, you need to allow the child to work through the anxiety so she learns how to cope with it. By learning how to tolerate their anxiety, the child will learn that she can do things even when they are scared and anxious. So, don’t avoid difficult and anxiety-provoking situations to save your child from the struggle or avoid your child’s anxiety. Avoidance might alleviate anxiety in the moment but tends to reinforce it and make it worse. It also teaches the child that “she can’t do hard things” which can become by itself as the default mechanism to use when anxious, a pattern that can be difficult to discontinue later in life. Instead of removing the stressor or avoid anxiety-provoking situations, encourage your child to use self-talk to decrease anxiety and encourage her to receive help. You can’t promise your child she won’t be anxious but you can promise her that you will help her go through it and that she will be ok. Anxiety is very uncomfortable but is not really harmful. Tell her you’re proud of her once she faces her challenge or stays with the feeling for a period of time. You can say “I know if was hard for you to meet new people and you came along anyway! I’m proud of you for that”. Validating her anxiety and encouraging her to “face her fear” will increase her sense of confidence and make your bond stronger. Validation doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with her, it means you’re acknowledging the feeling without minimizing or amplifying it. It means that you understand her experience and know it’s hard and uncomfortable for her and that you’ll be there to face it with her. Knowing that she is not alone will make her feel more empowered to take risks around feared experiences. Therapy can be really helpful. It can help your child deal with her anxiety and it can teach you ways to support her and help her contain it. Here are some tips you can use as a parent to support your child: Keep your own anxiety in check and model healthy ways to cope with it Identify what triggers your child’s anxiety and what helps her to be calm Help your child to identify “the worse that could happen” Help your child use logic against worries and how to talk back to them Teach your child to problem solve If you have concerns about your child’s anxiety, her ability to manage her emotions, behavior or relationships, please contact Carolina Gaviria, LMHC, NCC to set up an appointment at 954-391-5305 Carolina provides child counseling, teen therapy, and family therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She offers Bilingual counseling in English and Spanish.
- “3 Tips for Keeping Your Relationship a Priority After Having a Baby".
Hi there, I’m Dr. Kate Campbell with Bayview Therapy, a Fort Lauderdale group private practice. I specialize in working with individuals and couples to help them with their relationships. One of the aspects I’m really passionate about is helping couples to transition from a party of two into the wonderful journey of parenthood. Bringing a bundle of joy home for the first time is very exciting and quite challenging too. Let’s face it, there is a huge learning curve with becoming new parents right? Believe me, I’ve been there! My son just turned three a few months ago and when my husband and I went through it, it definitely was a big adjustment, especially since we’re both entrepreneurs. It’s an exciting time and very overwhelming with a lot of new things to figure out during long days and sleepless nights. A lot of the new parents I work with struggle with “how to keep their relationship a priority”. Here are a few tips and strategies that I recommend for couples transitioning into the wonderful world of parenthood. 1: Dialogue daily: Make sure you keep the communication lines open. Don’t just talk about what’s happening with the baby or the logistics like you’re busy schedules and day-to-day responsibilities. Take time to connect with your partner through communication, ask them questions, share your experiences, and continue to nurture your relationship. Even though you might be exhausted or want to catch up with household chores, nap time is a great time to connect with your partner. The laundry and dishes can wait, trust me… Here are a few suggestions for open-ended questions you can ask your partner open to better understand their world. Ask what they’re struggling with and how you can help. Ask how things are going at work or with their family. Ask how they are coping with becoming a new mom or dad and how they are doing with the added responsibilities. Ask what they’re longing for, what they are grateful for, and what they are excited to see happen. 2: Keep the romance alive in your relationship. After having a baby, there’s a period of time where you’re in survival mode and the LAST thing you’re thinking about is “how do we keep the romance alive”. However, once you get past that initial survival mode phase, it’s vital that you safeguard your time together as a couple. Life gets really busy and overwhelming, especially while navigating the new roles and responsibilities of parenthood. Many couples make the mistake of solely focusing on the kids and time together as a family, putting their couple's relationship on the back burner. This is a slippery slope and can be dangerous. If you stop working on your relationship, your relationship will eventually stop working. It’s healthy for your kids to see that you and your partner have a strong, healthy connection. For my husband and I, we go on a date night once a week. At first, it was hard leaving my son when he was younger, but over time it got easier and now when we are going out he’s excited and says, “Bye-bye! Mommy and daddy are going on a date”. We want to instill a value in him that it’s important to keep a strong connection with your partner and that dating never stops in relationships. Sometimes in the beginning, when the baby is really young or if you have multiple kids, it can be really tricky and you have to be creative. Consider taking the baby with you to a restaurant or doing something special while the baby is napping. Take advantage during the time your baby is sleeping at home and do something thoughtful for your partner. Bring the monitor outside and have a picnic, have a candlelit meal, sit by the fire with a glass of wine, or watch your wedding video together. You get the point… 3: Keep the friendship alive. Not only do you want to keep the romance and the spark alive, you want to keep the friendship alive. Go out and have fun together. Create new memories by going on adventures. It’s important to have something to look forward to as a couple. When the baby gets old enough, schedule a daytime adventure where you go out and do something fun, just for the two of you. Go to the movies, eat at a nice restaurant, take a walk on the beach, go paddleboarding, or go to a museum for a few hours. You’ll be surprised how much that quality time spent together having fun makes a difference in your connection together. When you feel comfortable leaving the baby overnight with someone you trust, plan a “staycation” or travel to a new place you’ve always wanted to go. Most importantly, keep having fun together! So those are the three tips. Keep the communication open by dialoguing daily, continue to date your partner, and keep the friendship alive. I encourage you guys to have fun with this. Keep it in the forefront of your mind and set your intention to keep your relationship a priority. Of course, therapy is super helpful for the transition from becoming a couple to new parents. That journey is a wild one and a beautiful one. There are a lot of great therapists out there to support you along that journey. If there’s anything I can do to help, visit Bayviewtherapy.com or contact me directly at 954-391-5305.
- Choosing Faith Over Fear: Embracing Our Current Circumstances Rather than Questioning Them
I have heard it said many times that it is easy to have faith when things are going well, but much more difficult to call upon when life brings us to our knees. We have all been there, gotten that dreaded phone call, been crippled by loss, been betrayed by someone we loved; the list goes on and on. In these circumstances, faith is much more difficult to lean on. First, let me start by explaining what I mean by faith. I don’t use the word faith here to mean only in the religious sense, although that could certainly be applied. But when I say faith, I mean a surrender, confidence and belief that despite what’s happening around us, that we are exactly where we need to be. When we find ourselves in times of struggle, it is so easy to retreat to fear; and to begin blaming ourselves or others, or to begin asking questions like “Why?” or “What if?” What I have learned in my work with clients, and more candidly, in my own life experiences, is that questions like these keep us connected to fear and never lead us to growth. Fear keeps us stuck in a cycle that is pretty difficult to break free from. I’ve learned that calling upon faith, even in the most trying times, has allowed me to shift my awareness to something greater. I will share more about this below. The credentials behind my name don’t prevent me from experiencing the wide gamut of human emotion, in fact, I think I experiencing them more often and at a significant level. (Tough work being an empath :)) I am learning over time how to embrace the wide range of emotions I experience daily, rather than to trying to disconnect from them. Recently, I found myself in a very fearful place, a place of shame and anxiety, where I was bombarded with thoughts that oriented me to fear. Fear of failure, fear of scrutiny, fear of not being enough. All this did was perpetuate more shame, more anxiety, and more hurt. I realized almost immediately that I had a choice. I had a choice to continue to question my circumstance or I had the choice to be faithful. It was really that simple. At first, I needed the time to be hurt, to be upset, and to connect with fear. However, after a few days, I knew that I needed to approach the whole thing differently. When I made that choice and chose to connect to faith, I was liberated. Almost instantly, I was able to experience a deep sense of gratitude. Gratitude for what this circumstance brought forth, gratitude for the wisdom I had obtained, gratitude for the lessons it brought into focus. A small shift in perspective can help us to step out of the vicious cycle we all find ourselves in sometimes. Next time you find yourself in times of struggle, remember that you always have the choice to choose faith over fear. Here are 5 pointers on how you can do just that: Invite the emotion in: Simply acknowledging that we are experiencing uncomfortable emotions can be very freeing. Sometimes without realizing it, we automatically attempt to disconnect from the uncomfortable feeling, and we only end up connecting to it more. I always speak with my clients about inviting their emotions in and listening to what they are trying to tell you. This is a great way to begin to respond to our emotions differently. Start each day with an act that orients you to faith: I have found that the beginning of the day sets the tone for the rest of the day. It is essential, especially in times of pain and sadness to begin your day with an act that orients you to faith. This can be done through meditation, prayer, journaling, exercise, just to name a few. Starting your day this way, even for just five minutes, helps you to refocus on what is important and helps you connect with the notion that you are exactly where you need to be. Recognize the emotion/experience as necessary: It is absolutely transformative when we can look at a painful experience as necessary. However, you also need the time to be angry, sad, outraged, terrified… whatever the emotion is. But, we cannot stay there permanently. When you are ready, perhaps with the help of a therapist, you can begin to look at yourself and the situation you are in from a different vantage point. One way of doing this is viewing what has happened as necessary. When we are able to make this shift, we are able to experience our emotions in a different way and we are able to move from a painful experience to one that promoted growth. Turn to someone faith-affirming: Having someone to turn to in times of struggle is essential. This can be a therapist, friend, clergy, family member, partner; anyone who reminds you that it’s okay to be where you are and that you are not alone. If there is nobody that readily comes to mind, that’s okay. There are resources everywhere. This may be a great time to start therapy ☺. Find your mantra: It may seem like a small thing, but having a mantra that speaks to your soul is vital! Repeating them multiple times daily has many benefits such as helping to lower anxiety. A mantra can be a quote that speaks to you, or you can create your own faith-affirming saying. Just as an example, this is the mantra I have been repeating to myself lately: “I trust in the universe and know that all is divine order”. Repeating this to myself at the beginning of the day, and throughout my day, keeps me grounded, helps me to stay focused, and reminds me that I am exactly where I need to be. Nobody looks forward to going through tough times, and I want you to know that you are not alone. With experience, I am more convinced that the old adage is true, “That the only way out is through”. It takes courage to live this way and to face our deepest emotions in times of adversity. However, I have seen countless of my client’s lives transformed when they are able to embrace their circumstances this way. I hope you found this blog helpful, and if you are ready to have these courageous conversations please don’t hesitate to call me at 954-391-5305, I’d be honored to be on that journey with you. I provide individual counseling, couples counseling, and family therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. For more info about my services, click here.
- Five Ways to Create a Better Connection with Your Partner
Ever wonder how your relationship became so routine and habitual? Do you find yourself going through the motions with your partner and yet you desire to feel more connected? When you’re on a vacation, it’s easy to connect with your partner and focus on that special bond between you two. Incorporating these five ways to create a better connection with your partner will help you during the other 51 weeks of the year while you’re not on a dreamy beach or snow top mountain! 1.) Connect and check in with yourself first. It’s going to be a lot harder to sustain a meaningful conversation with your loved one if you’re feeling insecure, irritable, or exhausted. Connection with your partner will be more genuine and intimate if and when you are centered with yourself and what’s going on internally. Take some time to invest in yourself. Challenge yourself, learn to love yourself, and show compassion towards yourself. Having a solid connection with yourself sets you up to have a stronger relationship with your partner. 2.) Be present and open to learning new things about your partner. Maybe you’ve been together five months or fifteen years, you can and will always learn something new about your loved one! Be open to learning these things along the way and express your intent and hopes with them! Don’t judge or criticize each other throughout this process. You two are each other’s biggest fans, be curious and kind. Ask obscure questions that may lead into light-hearted conversations, like “who was your favorite superhero growing up” or “if you could eat anything for breakfast Saturday morning what would it be?” Put your phones away and turn off the notifications on your Apple Watch. It’s tough to feel like someone is listening to them when they’re constantly refreshing their notification page. Eye contact goes a long way… 3.) Look at the good and not the bad. Sometimes connections fade because we live in a constantly negative atmosphere where we dwell and nag on our partner’s shortcomings or our perceived negative thoughts of them. Let those go – focus on what you love about him or her. Changing your perspective for these times in reconnection will have an immediate effect on your intimacy and happiness. Focus on enjoying and cherishing each other. Remember why you fell in love in the first place and share those stories to reminisce with your partner. 4.) Plan a “fun-tivity” together! Block out a calendar date and plan a fun day of activities aka “festivities” you and your partner can agree upon! Compromising can work here, but really incorporate things you two like to do together and think outside your normal routine! Go mini-golfing or canoeing or paddleboarding! Through this shared experience, you’ll create memories and build on good times. On a particularly blah Tuesday, you two can remind each other of what fun you had during that time and you’ll deepen your connection! 5.) Show your appreciation. Actions most definitely speak louder than words, but in working towards deepening your connection and bond, express how you feel. Being vulnerable is of course frightening, but plenty of qualitative and quantified data out there suggests that being vulnerable, open, and honest with your partner will absolutely deepen your bond. Express gratitude for the sacrifices and acknowledge all that you two do for each other. These are just a few tips you can begin implementing in your relationship to keep your connection strong. If you and your partner are struggling with your relationship, Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT is just a phone call 954-391-5305 or click away. Dr. Kate offers marriage counseling and couples therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.












