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Let me take a step back for a minute. Imagine you go to the doctor with recurrent headaches, dizziness, and a fever. When you share these symptoms with your physician he may order blood tests, an MRI, or maybe a neurological work-up. They will gather this data to arrive at a diagnosis and develop a treatment plan to help you return to optimal health. The goal of a psychological evaluation is very similar, to diagnose mental health disorders. A psychologist starts by conducting an interview to get a thorough history of early development, medical history, academic or occupational functioning, family or social history, among other information depending on the reason for referral. The psychologist then selects a collection of tests designed to measure different skills or abilities including intelligence, academic performance, memory, attention, emotional functioning among many other specific skills. A psychologist may consult with other professionals involved such as therapists, teachers, or psychiatrists. Once all this data is gathered and interpreted, a detailed report is written with a diagnosis and treatment plan for what steps to take next. This information is reviewed in a feedback session to give the family or individual an opportunity to ask questions, review the findings, and come to a new understanding. This is a comprehensive process but ensures enough time and data to arrive at a proper diagnosis. And why is this process so important? Many mental health symptoms mimic others, therefore, a thorough understanding of symptoms is crucial to ensure the proper diagnosis. A child who presents with symptoms of ADHD may appear distracted and lost in thought or this may be due to anxiety and excessive worry. Or that child who frequently acts out in class and refuses to do homework may be oppositional and defiant, depressed, or have a learning disorder. Regardless, without concrete data, it can be hard to narrow down or confirm a diagnosis. Okay so I’ve hopefully de-mystified the process of psychological testing, now to discuss reasons for an evaluation. For children, common reasons for seeking a psychological evaluation may include: Delays in your child’s developmental milestones Difficulty learning, even though a child puts in the time and effort Problems with attention and concentration, such as being easily distracted and having difficulty starting or finishing tasks Emotional concerns such as unusual sadness, worry, or anger Social concerns such as difficulty making or keeping friends, or perhaps a total disinterest in other kids Adults may seek an evaluation for the following reasons Difficulties with attention and concentration A recent change in your memory, judgment, and mood Concerns about having ADHD Seeking confirmation of a mental health diagnosis that may have been made by a different provider (e.g., Is it depression, is it bipolar disorder, or possibly a personality issue?) Or maybe you plan to go to college and need accommodations on standardized testing or while at university. Regardless of the question, you have about yourself or your child, a psychological evaluation can be designed to meet your specific needs. Take the first step and call me today at (954) 391-5305 or visit my website today

Hi, I’m Jamie Ratowski, owner of Brightside Therapy Services located here in sunny South Florida. In my practice, I strive to help people reach their full potential and become the best version of themselves. In order to do this, we need to have strong, healthy self-esteem. With strong self-esteem your relationships will be more fulfilling, you will have the ability to make smarter, healthier decisions for yourself, and set yourself up to achieve more success. Today I want to share with you my 3 favorite tips to help boost your self-esteem! My first tip is: USE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS Positive affirmations are like little uplifting statements to focus on to boost your mood, increase confidence, and help with your overall motivation. Examples could be “I am BEAUTIFUL” or “good things are going to happen today”. The great thing about positive affirmations is that you can create your own as needed or simply type in “positive affirmations” in google and have thousands of affirmations available to you at your fingertips. Pinterest is always my go-to site when I’m choosing an affirmation. Positive affirmations are a great way to focus on feeling better, boosting your mood, and boosting your overall self-esteem. My second tip is: INCORPORATE MORE HEALTHY HABITS INTO YOUR LIFE Since we all have different likes, dislikes, and strengths, these habits are going to vary from person to person. Think about a time you did something good for yourself and how you felt after. Maybe you went to a spin class, read an intriguing book, went for a hike, or spent some time in the sun. Treating your mind, body, and soul well will reward you. I always feel like my best self after I have a really good workout with my trainer. Find the healthy things that make you happy and increase the frequency of these habits, this is a great way to feel better and boost self-esteem. My third and final tip is: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE This tip is self-explanatory. Positive people rub off on us. If we create a support system made up of positive, uplifting, motivational individuals we are likely to receive some of that motivation ourselves. These individuals can be anyone in our lives, friends, romantic partners, coworkers, or family. Anyone who is a good influence on you fits the profile. I never feel more at ease, happy, and supported than when I am with great people who care for me. Being happy, feeling motivated, and having support are all essential components of self-esteem. A little bonus tip is to eliminate as much of the negative influence and toxic relationships from your life as possible. These are the types of relationships that weaken our self-esteem. If self-esteem and self-confidence are something that you want to work more on, give me a call at 954-391-5305 to discuss the possibility of setting up an appointment. Thanks for taking the time to listen and I hope these tips were helpful!

Many people I’ve worked with have shared that they struggle with living on autopilot. They describe it as just going through the motions and they cannot truly live in the moment. They say this is exhausting. Practicing mindfulness can interrupt autopilot mode. Mindfulness is being connected to the present and being more aware of what is happening now. Practicing mindfulness allows you not to be easily swept away by your thoughts and emotions that can manifest as stress, anxiety, and depression. 1. Focuses on breathing. Simply bring your attention to your breath, direct your full focus to the sensations of breathing. Experience each inhale and exhale which will bring your awareness to the present. Slow and deep breaths also bring your nervous system back to its natural state of calm. 2. Focuses on any daily activity that you already do. I’ll use drinking coffee or tea for example. Instead of mechanically going through this moment, take time to slow down with this activity. Hold the cup with both hands and feel the warmth, be intentional about tasting each sip and taking in the aroma. By doing this you are bringing awareness & gratitude to the experience which is more satisfying. 3. Focus on your thoughts. Instead of pushing them away or avoiding them, simply observe them without judgment. Begin to develop a new relationship with your thoughts and loosen their hold on you. You will begin to see that thoughts are like visitors, you can invite them to come and go. If you want more information on ways to release anxiety, work through depression, and live more fully in the present, you can call today at 954-391-5305 or visit my website. I look forward to helping you live more in the present moment!

Marriage counseling is when two married people seek help to enhance and strengthen their marriage. Couples counseling is when two people who are in a relationship seek counseling. Most likely it’s going to be with someone who’s really an expert in working with relationships, such as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. They have specific training which focuses on looking at their relationship from a systemic perspective. When two individuals come together, fall in love, and get married for better or worse, they each have very different backgrounds and are most likely wired differently. Everyone learns about communication differently, how to give and receive love, and how to manage conflict in different ways from their family of origin. When couples come together and get married, it’s an exciting time. However, it can be quite the transition, because it’s a merging of two different people with two different backgrounds. A marriage therapist is going to be someone who can help you to define areas in your relationship that need to be strengthened and then give you strategies to strengthen the areas that you struggle in. These sessions may focus on a wide range of topics such as communication or even how to handle big transitions such as transitioning from two to three with bringing a little bundle of joy home or maybe it’s a big move or perhaps it’s even family issues that might be going on with extended family or the in-laws. Couples counseling or marriage therapy can also be a great resource for more serious challenges such as betrayals and trust issues. Whether it’s substance abuse or someone has had an affair or there is ongoing infidelity in the relationship. Regardless of the challenges, marriage and couples counseling can help in a lot of different ways. No relationship is immune from conflict. Conflict is actually healthy for relationships as long as it is managed in a way that is constructive rather than destructive. That’s where marriage therapy can really be a wonderful asset. There’s no more important step that you can take to really value your relationship than investing in counseling. If you’re interested in learning more about how marriage therapy or couples counseling can help you in your relationship, give us a call today at 954-391-5305. In addition to Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT - founder of Bayview Therapy, we have several relationship experts on our team who would be happy to help. Give us a call to connect with your therapist today. We look forward to speaking with you!

We can spend so much of our life focused on external relationships and situations that we often lose touch with ourselves. It isn’t until we are experiencing the impact of that disconnection (angst, sadness, numbness, confusion, lack of confidence, feeling depleted, etc.) that we realize there’s a problem. Sometimes it gets referred to as “low self-esteem”; however, it really goes much deeper than self-esteem…we have neglected or never built a relationship with ourselves. Before we can truly begin to improve the external factors in our life, we have to do some work inside. Inner work can entail many things, but one of the fundamentals is establishing a connection with you. 3 Tips to Build a Healthy Relationship with YOU Start by taking notice of how you treat the most important person/people in your life? What kind of attention do you give them? How do you show them you care? In general, how do you try to communicate with them? Now take notice of how you treat yourself. How much attention do you pay to your emotional and physical needs? If you were to take a birds-eye view of your life, how do you demonstrate that you genuinely care about yourself? Pay attention to self-talk and even how you refer to yourself when talking to other people There are many things we do without noticing that send a message to our subconscious about how we really feel about ourselves and that manifests. Ask yourself, if you treated your loved ones the way you treat yourself, what would that relationship look like? ​Over the next couple of days tune into a couple of things: What activities/situations/ people do you look forward to engaging with? What are the physical, emotional, and mental signs that you enjoy? What activities/situations/ people do dread engaging with? What are the physical, emotional, and mental signs that you dread these? Try to determine what it is about these situations that cause you to feel this way. How much time energy do you invest in the activities that you find engaging versus the ones you dread? Find a way to make more time for 1-2 activities/situations/people that you noticed bring you joy in the next 3 days. By doing this brief exercise, you are doing several things for yourself. You are taking to the time to become self-aware, attuned to your values, and creating space and time for what matters to you. Taking the time to reconnect and build a healthier relationship with you is not being selfish, self-centered, or narcissistic. In fact, it can actually improve your relationships and help you show up as your best self in all areas of your life. If you’re interested in learning more about building a healthy relationship with yourself and the impact it can have on your life visit my website.

Exciting news!!! Our brand new, luxurious counseling and psychology group practice is officially OPEN for business as of Monday, January 21, 2019. Yay!! :) We started the relocation and expansion process in February 2018. We searched and searched for the perfect office space for our clients and team, but couldn't find exactly what we wanted so we went on a mission to build our dream office space from scratch. It was a massive project, but all the hard work, determination, and perseverance FINALLY paid off. It's so surreal and amazing to see our vision for this office finally become a reality. Stay tuned for professional pictures of our new office design and decor coming soon! See the below image for the outside view of our new office. Our office is unique in that we provide a relaxing, spa-like atmosphere with beautiful new artwork and luxury furniture helping clients to feel more comfortable as soon as they walk inside our suite. Our 5 counseling rooms were designed with an intentional vibe and unique theme to create a calming and inspiring experience for each one of our clients. We also have a large conference room for community networking events, workshops, and training. Since we want to extend our reach to help as many people as possible, we built a really cool media productions room for podcasting, video recording, and live webinars! Our team of 15 caring and dedicated clinicians is BEYOND EXCITED to better SERVE our south Florida clients, friends, and community. We're getting amazing feedback from everyone who sets foot in our space. We are grateful to have such a beautiful office to do what we love... making a difference! We're happy to help you or your loved ones so give us a call at 954-391-5305 to see how Bayview Therapy can help you reach your goals. Visit our website for more info about our team and services www.BayviewTherapy.com.

“On days like this where I feel so sad and lonely, I find myself standing in front of the fridge looking for something to eat. I tell myself that I deserve something tasty after such a hard day. When I eat I forget about all the stress, chores, and worries. I get distracted from all the negativity and pressure and just for that moment, I feel better… Food tastes good… What’s interesting is that after I eat, I feel guilty and remorseful. It feels as if I did something wrong… I shouldn’t have eaten all those cookies and chips. I’m embarrassed and hope no one notices that I finished all the snacks. I’m also worried about my weight… I feel disgusting. I start to think about ways to lose those calories and find myself searching online about ways to diet and lose weight. I promise tomorrow “I’ll be good”, and before I know at the end of the next day I’m back standing in front of the fridge.” - Anita Does this sound familiar to you? Has this been your experience or what you see happening to someone in your family, perhaps your child or a dear friend? When people need comfort, they need it now, and food can become a dear friend that just for a moment makes you forget all of your concerns and lessen your anxiety. At the moment, food becomes a source of comfort and distraction, numbing those feelings that you don’t want to feel and prolonging feelings you enjoy through a positive experience. It becomes a reward and a way to elevate pleasure and avoid feelings. The problem is that once you finish the last chocolate or spoonful of ice cream, a sense of guilt and regret starts to creep in. This can create a perpetual cycle of a toxic relationship with food that can lead to low self-esteem, negative body image, never-ending dieting behaviors, and the development of eating disorders. Why does eating feel so good at the moment and then leave you feeling so much worse? Emotional eating can be contradictory. Food is tasty and when it’s used to calm down or avoid feelings, it might work at that moment. You enjoy the food for the time being and disconnect from the source of struggle. The immediate sense of gratification and sense of release is what keeps you going back to the fridge and buying foods that “make you feel better”. The intention behind the behavior of eating is what leads to emotional eating. Eating is not used to relieve hunger, but in response to any kind of feeling, even pleasurable feelings can lead to overeating. For example, you eat because you’re feeling good and you don’t want the feeling to stop, you just keep eating. Although eating provides temporary relief, the feeling that you were trying to numb in the first place gets worse and guilt, shame, and remorse increase a sense of discomfort that often leads to the pantry where the cycle begins again making you feel stuck and hopeless. So how do you find freedom from the seductive and comforting hands of emotional eating? Becoming more aware of your intentions, thoughts, feelings, and patterns is a starting point. You can use journaling to start the process and increase your awareness and insight into your emotional eating tendencies. You can also learn mindful ways to regulate your emotions and new coping thoughts and strategies that you can put in place when feeling distressed. When you approach this process with a non-judgmental attitude and a sense of self-compassion, you’re able to accept wherever you are in the process and embrace new ways to deal with it. You are able to be more honest with yourself and become truly aware of your feeling and your intentions to use food. ​​The secrecy around emotional eating is also what contributes to the cycle and what adds more layers of shame to your experience. By talking about it and understanding more about the function of emotional eating, you will start to experience a new sense of relief and allow new perspectives and solutions to enter your mind. If you are ready to free yourself from emotional eating, I’m ready to hold a safe space for you to start peeling the layers. You can contact me directly at 954-391-5305 to discuss setting up a session at my Fort Lauderdale or Coral Springs office.

0 Trauma is any negative event that causes us distress, so we have all had and will continue to experience, a trauma in our lives. When we endure a trauma, we must respond in some way in order to survive. Depending on how often and intensely we experience these various negative events, they affect our minds, brains, and bodies in different ways. In this first blog, we will look specifically at the way trauma affects our minds, as well as how, armed with this knowledge, and with an understanding and application of several other crucial tools, we can reduce and eliminate the negative impact of these negative experiences on our minds. Traumatic experiences can cause us to alter the way we think. We might change our beliefs about the world and ourselves. Specifically, we may worry whether we are safe, question whether we can trust others, feel limited control in our lives and decision-making success, and experience a diminished sense of self-worth. Often, when we experience trauma, we also experience profound shame and self-blame, both of which tend to cause us to keep these negative experiences a secret. When we keep our trauma to ourselves, the negative influence of the trauma on our lives notably worsens. Similarly, avoidance (of experiences, people, and places in life that might remind of us of our traumatic experiences) also strengthens the hold of these negative experiences on our lives. The key, then, to reduce the effect of trauma on our lives is to confront it. I realize this is easier said than done. Here are some crucial concepts and steps to engage in this process: We should try to look at and treat ourselves with compassion and understanding. Trauma, understandably, has a profound impact on us, so we should attempt to consistently remind ourselves of this and treat ourselves accordingly. We want to look at and more closely understand our trauma, often with the help and guidance of a psychotherapist. The more we can understand that our symptoms are the result of profound negative experiences, the more we can reduce and eliminate our symptoms and their detrimental hold on our lives. We can do this through remembering, writing about, sharing, and analyzing our trauma. There is no specific timeline for how long it should take to process your story, so try to have patience with yourself. Go at whatever pace feels comfortable and reasonable to you, which could be several weeks, months, or even longer. Know that, at any point(s), if the experience becomes overwhelming or triggering, take a deep breath, take a break, and come back to it later. We also want to identify our triggers for symptoms, or things that in some way(s) remind us of the trauma we experienced. Then, instead of being triggered and succumbing to debilitating symptoms, we can engage in various proactive strategies to control our subsequent moods, thoughts, and behavioral processes. In her book, “Trauma Survivors’ Strategies for Healing,” Elena Welsh recommends, “taking a deep breath, reminding ourselves that we’re safe, or using mindfulness techniques to ground ourselves in the present moment.” If you have any questions about trauma or how to recover after a traumatic experience, I'd be happy to speak with you. If you would like to schedule your first session, call me at 954-391-5305 for or for more information about my services, read my bio here.

WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER? If you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it’s important to understand what it is and what to look out for so you can pick up on the early warning signs that mania is setting in. Bipolar Disorder, Type 1 is a mental illness characterized by having prolonged fluctuations between manic and major depressive episodes. Bipolar Disorder, Type II is characterized by fluctuations between hypomanic and major depressive episodes. Hypomania shares the same key symptoms as mania, but is generally less intense with a shorter duration. While you may experience high energy levels, hypomania may not cause the same debilitating problems in your life that mania can. If you are diagnosed with either type of bipolar disorder, you may experience intense emotional instability and find it difficult to manage or regulate your symptoms if left untreated. Since mania is often misunderstood, it is important to gain a better understanding of this major component of bipolar disorder. EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF MANIA The transition into mania can be gradual and slow, and you may not even realize when the changes start to take place. If you are aware of the possible symptoms, it’s easier to prevent mania from taking over and get the help you need to return to your baseline. Some early warning signs and symptoms of mania can include a combination of any of the following: Talking rapidly, unable to be understood easily: it’s often difficult to be able to tell if you are speaking quickly. One way to test this is to ask yourself if everyone else around you seems like they’re speaking slowly. Are they having a difficult time understanding you? Are they asking you to slow your speech? It may be easier to test yourself by picking up on others’ cues. Irritability and frustration: if you find yourself more easily frustrated or irritated by others, especially over matters or incidents that normally wouldn’t bother you, this could be a sign that mania is setting in. Restlessness or fidgety behavior: stop and notice what your body is doing. Are you able to sit still? Do you need to keep moving your fingers or tapping your feet? Test yourself by taking a moment to sit still in a quiet room. Can’t stop moving? It could be the onset of mania. Inability or unwillingness to sleep: have your sleeping habits changed recently? Even if you feel like you have lots of energy, any changes in the amount you’re sleeping could be an indicator of a manic or depressive episode. Disorganized or easily distracted: have you started a project but haven’t been able to follow through? Are you bouncing from task to task and can’t focus? Are you taking on more than you can chew? Not keeping commitments or sticking to a schedule: it’s important to stick to a schedule when you have bipolar disorder. Are you having a difficult time sticking to your routine or keeping appointments? Overspending: if you start to be careless with your money, buying things you normally wouldn’t, or making huge purchases without talking to someone else about it, it could be a sign that you are transitioning into or experiencing a manic episode. Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity: while it’s important for everyone to have a healthy self-esteem and love themselves, people who are experiencing mania have an elevated self-esteem that is more like overly confident and arrogant to the point they feel like they’re on top of the world or invincible. Knowing your baseline level of self-esteem can help you determine if what you are experiencing is healthy self-love and self-esteem or if it’s mania. Risk-taking: are you engaging in risky behaviors that you normally wouldn’t do? This can include driving fast, increased promiscuity, substance abuse, or other thrill-seeking behaviors. Feeling euphoric: when people come out of a prolonged depressive episode, mania can seem enjoyable because of the feelings of euphoria that often accompany it. This feeling on its own is not dangerous, but is a good indicator that mania is setting in. Keep in mind that not everyone will experience the same symptoms. You may experience none, some, or all of these. Everyone is different, so it’s important to know yourself, your baseline, and your common symptoms for when mania sets in. HOW TO PREVENT MANIA AND MANAGE SYMPTOMS If a manic episode seems to be approaching, it’s crucial to get support from others. If you are unsure if you are experiencing manic symptoms, ask your loved ones if they notice any changes in your behavior. Sometimes it can be difficult to self-reflect when you have bipolar disorder. You don’t have to go through this alone, so it’s important to have a solid support network that includes reliable family or friends, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. As soon as you start to veer away from your baseline, schedule an appointment with a professional to figure out what’s going on and how you can prevent it from getting worse. If it turns out that you aren’t sliding into depression or mania, no one will be disappointed at you for taking preventative measures or think that you wasted their time. Your mental health is a priority, and you should also be on the safe side. Here are a few tangible tips to be able to detect those warning signs: Refill your medication before it lapses: When you have a week or so left of pills, refill your prescription so there’s no gap. Nowadays you can schedule your meds to be delivered automatically, so there’s no need to manually refill the order every time. Adhere to a daily routine or schedule: If you write out your schedule and have a similar routine every day, it will be easier to notice when you start to deviate from it. Keep a sleep log: Try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. In a sleep journal, write down how much sleep you get each night. Stick to a financial budget: Keep a close eye on your income and, in particular, your spending. If you need help getting control over your finances, talk to a financial advisor, accountant, or even a responsible friend or family member. Create a calm environment at home and avoid over-stimulating environments: If you have fewer things around to distract you and you keep a clean home, it will encourage a peaceful atmosphere and mood. This is especially important for your bedroom so you can have a relaxing, restful place to sleep. Break down your goals into smaller, attainable tasks: If there’s a large goal you want to achieve, each step towards that main goal should be a small goal you can accomplish along the way. For example, if you want a new job, the goal wouldn’t be “get a new job.” Smaller attainable goals would be: write a resume, write a cover letter, spend 20 minutes a day to research jobs, apply to one job a week, make one new contact a week, etc. Maintain healthy habits that promote both physical and mental wellness: Eating healthy and exercising regularly can improve your overall wellness, including your emotional wellness. This includes avoiding drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and energy drinks that can be overstimulating. Have a friend or family member who will practice these healthy behaviors alongside you: When you have someone in your life who will be a good role model for you, and who will hold you accountable, you will be more likely to succeed. Having positive people in your life is important. Spend less time with people who exhibit unhealthy behaviors. Slow down and practice mindfulness: Meditation and mindfulness are great tools for getting in touch with your emotions and finding peace. With practice, you’ll be able to have a deeper awareness of your emotions and tell when you’re transitioning away from your baseline. If you are in drug or alcohol recovery, go to an AA or 12-step meeting and talk to your sponsor: Drug and alcohol use can exacerbate manic symptoms, so if you are feeling any urges, it’s important to get support early on. YOU CAN BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH Living with bipolar disorder can be a challenge, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live a happy, productive, and balanced life. With support, guidance, and professional help you can live the life you want. Don’t let mental illness control you. You have the power to regulate your emotions, reach your goals, and find peace. Therapy can provide you with the tools you need to effectively manage your life. If you need one-on-one support, we offer counseling for adults struggling with bipolar disorder, as well as their loved ones who are in a supportive role. Contact Dr. Heather Violante, Psy.D. today at 954.391.5305 to find out how we can help you improve your emotional wellness and guide you on your pathway to new beginnings.

Will the internal voice say you are being selfish, uncaring, and mean? How can you let down the people in your life? Why can’t you just do better? If only… What makes you feel not enough? The story of you was formed in the first seven years of life. As a child, you learned how to relate to others through the relationship you had with your parents and siblings. Your parents learned their way of interacting from their own families. Children engage in magical thinking which means they believe if they say or do something they can create a specific outcome for those around them. Of course, as an adult you know perfectly well that if your Dad lost his job there isn’t much you can actually do about this other than love him. Yet as adults, the magical thinking continues. If I do this then they will love me more, treat me with kindness, listen to me, etc. What is the price of love? Being me? Take it from me, none of these issues heal by compromising who you are for another person. But what will people think… Up until now those closest to you have been able to anticipate how you will be and have learned to expect certain behaviors from you. For example, if you are always the person who everyone calls for the support you may decide that while you enjoy being there for them it distracts you from accomplishing your goals leading you to be less available to others until you’ve taken care of your needs. Some will understand while others will not. When you begin to reclaim the discarded parts of you there will be people who leave. They are not bad people. You have simply outgrown each other. 3 Steps to be more you: 1. Have a good cry. Yep, you are going to need to mourn the loss of who you once were and the painful times you endured. Be sad, feel the grief. It is a part of your healing. Do not hold back here. At the end of this process, you will feel better. Do not turn away from you. Dive in. 2. Pick one thing you want to get off your chest and communicate it. This takes some introspection. Think of one thing bothering you in a relationship and be honest about how you feel. It’s a good idea to journal your feelings about it, fears of what you anticipate happening i.e. if I say this____it will mean this_____ they will say this________, This will help you get to what is really bothering you, feel clearer and more ready to take action. 3. Learn to Say NO: You more than likely crossed your own boundaries for another. Setting intentional boundaries creates the space for healthy self-esteem to be built and safety within the relationship to be established. “Stop working overtime for free,” “Stop being available to every need a friend has,” There is no need to hide, shrink or stay small for relationships to work. At the core of setting boundaries lies “I love you but I love me more.” When you choose from this perspective everything changes. Through honoring, loving, and respecting yourself you show others how to treat you and allow them to meet you there. Becoming authentically you is an act of courage and self-compassion. It is the willingness to explore your depths and embrace even the messy parts you have been hiding from. On my own journey, I have learned that the best parts of me were hidden in what I mistakenly had referred to as my flaws. In your process of becoming you, I hope you find the courage to explore yourself, speak up, and set boundaries. You will be pleasantly surprised by the results and the needs you have neglected in the past will begin to be met. You may even discover that friends and family are more than happy to be there for you and the only ones getting in your way as you. For more information, you can call at 954-391-5305.

Suffering from stress and challenges can be crippling. Even the strongest of us need help navigating our course through life. Counseling and hypnosis can provide valuable support and introduce skills to help you move beyond "just surviving" to thriving and finding a brighter outlook. STRUGGLING WITH PAST TRAUMA Do you find that thought intrudes on you when you’re thinking about something else? Are you losing sleep over issues, past or current? Do you ever re-experience a traumatic event almost as if it is happening again? Perhaps memories of the trauma feel really recent, even if the trauma happened a long time ago. With grief, for example, people can feel like that six-year-old child who experienced death and may find themselves acting like the six-year-old again. Traumatic memories don’t fade like “normal” memories, usually due to stress until they are processed properly. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy is a wonderful resource to help you effectively process the feelings and traumatic memories. WHAT IS HYPNOSIS? There are so many parts to each person, and while one part is in pain or suffering, another part wants to heal, and another part knows how to heal. Hypnosis can access the other parts of people that aren’t always easily available in the everyday routine and the person can then not be so affected by the memories. Hypnosis is sort of a relaxed, narrowed focus of attention that can help you overcome depression, lift trauma and phobias, reframe thinking, and stop smoking or other addictive habits. It is the deliberate use of imagination, paired with focus and relaxation. It works sort of like when you are dreaming and accessing the other parts of you, your unconscious mind, while you are awake. Some people say it is sort of like daydreaming. Have you ever come to your exit on the highway and don’t remember the drive to get there? This is a trance state. I remember watching my young niece watching a fashion video. Eyes wide open, her hand that held a potato chip raised halfway to her mouth. She was “entranced” by the presentation of the video. This is how hypnosis works; it is a relaxed focus on an image or a sound such as music. In hypnotherapy, people are focused on the issue chosen for that session. Thoughts and feelings are so important to the whole-health picture for people. For example, anxiety or depression can be caused by past trauma. Traumatic responses such as the flight or fight response come a lot quicker than the thoughts about the event and can affect a person’s reactions to events for the rest of their life. Many people talk about their immediate responses to, say, loud noises, and they know the response doesn’t make any sense, but they respond before they think about it. Because emotions are so often stronger than thoughts, it is more effective to change emotions or feelings than it is to change thoughts. Have you noticed that when you change how you feel about something, that the situation can change quickly and permanently? This is where hypnosis comes in. Hypnosis can change emotions or feelings about things, which can change how you think about and view the world around you. After hypnosis, people have said that they were not sure how it happened, but they feel different about a situation somehow. WHAT WILL HYPNOSIS DO FOR ME? Hypnosis helps with a range of issues to include, but not limited to: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Self-esteem Anxiety Depression Grief and Loss Smoking Drinking to excess Unhealthy relationships Weight loss Emotional as well as physical pain Hypnosis can also help you to reframe some past and/or current experiences. Once this is done, you can respond to other people and situations appropriately and neutrally, while honoring your needs and living your truths. This respect and acting for yourself can help you sleep better too. THE HYPNOSIS REWIND TECHNIQUE I use an approach called the Rewind Technique. The rewind technique is used for past trauma that still affects people in negative ways, such as intense memories that feel more recent than something that happened long ago. It also helps with overcoming trauma or PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, loss of sleep, that are affecting current relationships. Past trauma includes incidents that are affecting you more than you wish them to such as a car accident. The Rewind Technique is relatively new, although the original technique it evolved from was created over 30 years ago. In the therapeutic world, it has been hailed as a bit of a miracle cure as practitioners have discovered just how effective it is. And the research studies are now coming out, which back that up. A benefit of the rewind technique is that you do not have to go back through the memories in-depth, so the process is easier for you. I don’t even need to know what specifically happened – we can just refer to the incident/s by using code words that we agree on. By not having to go back over the details of the event/s, you can feel safe and secure, in a spa-like atmosphere. USING HYPNOSIS TO BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE Perhaps somewhere in the past, somewhere back there, you lost your sense of well-being and confidence. Stress and a lack of self-confidence can muddle your thinking and prevent you from finding solutions. With hypnosis, you can find that inner strength again and can relax with uncertainty. This relaxed outlook can help you more easily find solutions that work uniquely for you, and you can better manage the challenges that life throws your way. If you or someone you know suffers from PTSD, phobias, anxiety, or addictive habits, we can work together to renew strength, regain a positive outlook, and secure a happier future. You can contact Dr. Melissa Valentina today at 954-391-5305, for your free 10-minute phone consultation to see if we are a good fit. #anxiety #stress #trauma

Remember "B.C.", Before Corona? Your goals and dreams were so different than they have been lately. The social distancing and the losses we have all experienced have been overwhelming. High school seniors will not have the rituals they have been looking forward to for so long. Family members are gone or inaccessible. And relationships have changed enormously as we live in close quarters day in and day out. No leisure travel, and no knowing when we will have these freedoms again. We have such an unbelievable challenge hitting us now and no one knows how long or to what extent this COVID-19 virus will affect us all. So many of us are reaching for answers that no longer work for us – food, shopping, drugs, or alcohol - and we don’t know where to turn. These external solutions might work for a while, but there is a price we pay for overeating, overspending, and overindulging. It is easy to be scared, worried, and anxious. When we are in a negative state such as these, these states shut us down to our own inner wisdom and strengths. There is a choice here of being tense and shut down or opening to possibilities of positive choices and other options of being. After so much of the searching for external solutions, what is left but to turn inward? This turning inward has proven to be effective. While there are several ways to do this, here are three ways to access the inner knowing and calm: Hypnosis therapy. Your inner resources are there for you 24/7 and this is where the answers are. Accessing these resources is where hypnotherapy helps people to soothe, calm, and restore themselves. Daily contemplation. 20 minutes at the start of your day. When interviewed, hospice clinicians said they have to do their morning contemplation/meditation before they go out into the world, getting themselves right first before they interact with others. Deep breaths. To relax, make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale-a simple approach and it doesn’t cost anything. This tells the nervous system to relax. By calming yourself throughout your day, the mind can relax, and you are able to access solutions to problems and answers to your questions. As you do these exercises, you may notice anxious, fearful, or angry thoughts. Here's a relaxation exercise for you to try... Ask yourself, where do you feel the stress in your body? Feel it and then let it flow through you like a river, softly moving along. When thoughts come in, just let them move through you. Who are you without those thoughts? Once you are in a calm space, ask yourself – “what do I want to create?” It’s not a mind question, just let the question be there while you continue to relax, noticing where you feel it in your body. When you are ready, come back slowly, with a nice, long breath. See your surroundings, noticing the difference in your outlook. What is hypnosis? Hypnosis is a form of relaxed focus. And the focus is not on problems, rather it is on what you want to create. After a hypnosis session, clients report they are no longer worried about so many things. They are relaxed, calm, and they know what is important and what is not so important. They realize what issues need their attention and what they can do about those issues. You owe it to yourself to be your best and take this opportunity to recreate yourself, your life, and your future. This era of your life can be a time of learning how to access your inner resources. When you invest in yourself, you know yourself better, and you create a better, more fulfilling future. When you need help in an area where you are struggling and need solutions, and your current knowledge needs some outside, neutral input, it’s best to get professional help. We all need help sometimes. Just like seeing a doctor for your physical health, your emotional health is just as important, especially nowadays. It’s a good time to invest in yourself and get the help you need so you can honor yourself and live your truth. I am certified in hypnosis and my passion is grief and loss and helping people connect with their resources to reduce stress and find their way in having a calmer, wiser outlook. I have been practicing meditation or contemplation for over 30 years. Hypnosis is available through telehealth sessions as well as in person. You can reach me at 954-391-5305. #hypnotherapy #anxiety #trauma