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Hi I’m Dr. Wynette. Today, I would like to discuss with you “How to Keep the Spark Alive”. Today’s message is for all couples. The topic is centered around maintaining and sustaining a healthy, happy relationship. I would like to provide you with 5 powerful tips on how to keep your relationship exciting! Watch my video below or continue reading this blog. Tip #1 –Set Aside Time Once a Week for “Date Night.” Date night is an allocated time for you and your partner to be together. It is a minimum of 30 minutes set aside where the cell phones are off or put separately away. It can be at home having a lovely dinner for two, at the beach enjoying the view and time together, or a lavish night out at your favorite concert or show. The choice is up to the two of you. I highly recommend that date night is planned weekly. Tip #2 –Communicate Most Effectively. An example of how to communicate effectively includes creating "advance timeouts". An advance password or code is used by either partner when discussions or disagreements are becoming intense, emotionally charged, and volatile. It should be an agreed upon word or statement that in a non-argumentative conversation would have a calming, harmonious effect on each partner. For example, the name of the restaurant where you and your partner had your first date; or the name of your first pet together who always makes you both smile. Another example of effective communication is to match your partner’s communication style. If you are a more concise, straight to the point communicator, it is very important for you and your partner to be aware of this fact. Your partner will then know you like to receive information short, concise, and to the point. Lastly, an overall key communication style to remember is to respond, not react. Reacting results in increased arguing and no resolution. Responding creates an environment for an intelligent, mature conversation. Tip #3 – Prioritize Self Care. Self-care is creating an environment daily where each of you individually take care of your overall, emotional well-being. For example, it may be to get into the present moment and calm down your thoughts daily. It may be yoga for some people. Or, daily meditation for others. Self-care can be a self-improvement class, an exercise class, or whatever your flavor is as far as a personal area you would like to individually see as a growth opportunity. The self-care plan should be uniquely tailored and developed separately for each of you. Tip #4 – Become Aware of the 5 love languages. They are words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, and spending quality time together. There is a lot of research available on each. However, to sum it up, your partner has a primary love language when communicated is received as “I love you” and when you receive your primary love language it communicates back to you “I love you too.” Tip #5 – Permission to Experience Heightened Intimacy. Intimacy being referred to here can also be described as “In To Me You See.” It is a higher level of vulnerability you and your partner give each other permission to experience. The results of intimacy are an increased connection that is strong and capable of withstanding life experiences together. It assures that each of you is committed and determined to stay together. It allows you both to look into each other’s eyes, the windows of your souls, and connect at a heightened, unbreakable level. For more information or to schedule a couples therapy session with me, please contact me at 954-391-5305. To read more about my approach to therapy and find out what services I offer, click here to visit my website.

Therapists use the mind-body connection to work closely with other health care providers to assess the lifestyles, attitudes, and family support of their patients. They also help patients understand how to create and implement a plan that will improve psychological well-being. Psychologists and therapists can work with you so that you are able to take an active role in taking care of your mental and physical health. Awareness of the mind-body connection may be helpful in: · Building resilience · Strengthening distress tolerance · Speeding recovery from illness · Lessening pain and discomfort · Enabling patients and families to better cope with stressors · Increasing mental alertness and activity Here are 5 ways you can take an active role in strengthening your mind-body connection: 1. Be intentional about taking active breaks from work or thinking about a concern to give your brain a chance to regroup and refuel Physically walking away from a stressor or problem for a few minutes will give you more clarity and better equip you to manage it. 2. Your body’s posture and expressions can also influence your mood. Try standing tall to help give yourself a boost of confidence and be mindful of your facial expressions. Your brain interprets your expressions as cues to feel and process emotions. 3. Cultivate loving relationships. Research shows that a solid social support network has numerous physical and mental health benefits. It can prevent you from feeling lonely, isolated or inadequate. When you feel good about yourself, you are better prepared to deal with stress. Friends and loved ones can be a valuable source of advice and can provide new ways of approaching problems. But they can also be a pleasant distraction from what's bothering you. You can also consider volunteering, joining an outdoor activities group, or an online meet-up group to make new connections. 4. Write it out. Journaling can help you cope with the stress of a deadline or your worries in daily life. Physically downloading problems and worries from your mind (by putting pen to paper) can help reduce the stress you are feeling and ultimately improve your health. 5. Spend time outdoors and make time to meditate or practice mindfulness. New science shows that walking outside rejuvenates our minds and enhances our ability focus. Engaging in mindfulness for a few minutes a day can also help decrease anxiety and symptoms of depression. Taking an active role in strengthening your mind-body connection can help you shift from imbalance to balance. And when you’re in an optimal state of balance, you will naturally tend to listen to your body with love and compassion and make choices that support health, happiness, and wellbeing. For more information or to schedule a therapy session with me, please contact me at 954-391-5305. To read more about my approach to therapy and find out what services I offer, click here or visit my website.

As children, we depend on adults (particularly our caregivers) to consistently support, nurture, and protect us. When they do, we’re more likely to develop a healthy view of ourselves, others, and the world. For instance, we’re then inclined to believe: We are lovable. People are trustworthy and dependable. The world is a safe place. Meanwhile, when we experience our caregivers as inconsistent, inattentive, and/or abusive, we’re more likely to foster an unhealthy picture of reality. In this scenario, we’re likely to believe: We’re incapable and unworthy of receiving love. People can’t be trusted. The world is scary and unsafe. I’m sure you can begin to imagine just how much the latter situation can negatively impact a person. In this blog, we will look at the specific ways difficult upbringing negatively impacts future relationships. We will also explore helpful solutions to improve the relationships and lives of people enduring these problems. As an adult who has endured some form of unhealthy parenting, you may have the following thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and experiences in your relationships: “I can’t trust anyone, not even my partner.” “I’m not good enough and I don’t deserve love.” "I feel angry often.” “My emotions get intense very quickly and it’s so hard for me to control them. “My intense emotions make it so hard for me to just have a normal conversation with my partner.” “Nobody can actually understand what I’ve been through.” “It’s a burden for me to talk to my partner about what I’ve been through, so I can’t do it.” “It feels good to be alone, so I isolate and withdraw from others.” “My partner always says I feel distant.” “Physical intimacy is really difficult.” The great news is that you don’t have to keep feeling this way. You can experience the following profound improvements in your life: Respond to difficult experiences in calmer and more rational, productive ways. Experience hope. Reduce isolation. Embrace and trust your partner. Learn to value yourself. Here are some realistic steps to help you achieve the life you want: Seek out a trauma-informed therapist. This person can help you comfortably (and at your own pace) share difficult experiences from your past. This can help you to see how you experienced abuse or neglect, as well as how it still impacts you and your relationship. This kind of insight is critical in moving forward. You also want to work with a therapist to discover healthier ways to experience and express your thoughts and emotions. Along these lines, you’ll learn to separate past issues from present ones. Ensure you engage in basic forms of self-care, like consistently eating healthy meals and partaking in healthy activities you enjoy, like going to the movies or walking along the beach. Learn to develop compassion and patience for yourself. While this isn’t always easy, it’s crucial to eliminate the impact of past pain on your life and establish the path you deserve. Develop and nurture a great support system for both you and your relationship. Ensure you spend consistent quality time with family and friends who are positive about you and your relationship. Use self-observation and insight to recognize when your feelings are escalating. Use this as an opportunity to slow down, breathe, and respond in healthier ways. If you have any questions about past trauma or how to recover after a traumatic experience, I’d be happy to speak with you and help you get the relief you deserve. If you would like to schedule your first session, call me at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary consultation, or for more information about my services, read my bio here. Recovery from past traumatic experiences is possible, let me help!

Very early on in my experiences as a new mother, I realized that so much about the REAL-ness of motherhood stayed secret. Women don’t share their real experiences. Most new moms answer the “How are you doing?” question with statements about how much they love their new babies and how well they are doing, when in fact, they may not feel connected to their babies, and may truly not be okay emotionally. So why is this the case? Well, for starters, it is not culturally acceptable to answer that question with honesty. Most askers of the question wouldn’t know how to handle the real answer, and are expecting the socially appropriate answer, and new moms know that. So it perpetuates this needs for moms to conceal their truth. And it’s not OK. For some new moms, the transition may be easier, and you may truly feel connected to your babies and feel emotionally okay. Everyone experiences the motherhood transition differently. But for those of you struggling and concealing your real truth, I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and that It doesn’t have to be this way. Here are just a few things that new moms need to talk about and probably want to talk about when they are asked how they are doing: the grief that accompanies the motherhood transition the profound and all-consuming identify shift that happens during pregnancy and postpartum the physical and emotional scarring the way your mood shifts so easily the self-doubt that bubbles up during hard moments the times where you wonder if you made the right choice the sometimes not so great impact on your relationship the deep sadness that you feel when you look at your postpartum body…. the shame and fear that swirls around it all That is real. We have to talk about our real experiences (with a safe audience), because that is the only way to challenge the current narrative about motherhood. The current narrative around motherhood teaches women that they must: have it all together feel connected to their babies immediately love motherhood immediately lose all their baby weight immediately still continue to be great wives or partners immediately function on little to no sleep (with a smile) keep their emotions in check return to work immediately and it all better be done seamlessly Like, WHAT the %&@#? It’s ridiculous when you lay it out. Many women feel that if they choose to prioritize themselves, their emotional/physical health, their relationships, or their careers… then they are bad moms. I’m here to tell you ladies, that you can take care of yourself and still be a good mom. In fact, a healthy mother (emotionally, spiritually, physically) will serve your child much more than a woman who feels like she has to put herself totally aside because it’s what you’re “supposed to do” as a mom. Getting real about your experiences with motherhood doesn’t make you a bad mother and it doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. In fact, being honest with yourself and freeing yourself of that shame that you carry is one of the best things you can do for your little one. Don’t carry that around with you. Find a safe audience, join a moms group, find a therapist who gets it, and give yourself the room to share your truth. We owe it to ourselves, our babies, and to the next generation of women who deserve to step into motherhood from an empowered place. Let’s work to educate and support new moms, rather than perpetuate the culture that asks women to stop caring for themselves in the pursuit of motherhood. It starts with us. Dr. Alex is a passionate women’s health advocate and loves working with women on their journey to motherhood. If you are interested in learning more about her practice, or you are interested in setting up an appointment, click here to reach Dr. Alex today!

Negative thoughts come from our brain’s instinct to survive. Our brains are always trying to make sense of the world and processing things around us. Our brains are not wired for us to be happy, but to SURVIVE in a world that has many threats. Hundreds of thousands of years ago, our ancestors lived in very stressful environments where one had to be hypervigilant and on the lookout for danger whether it be from a wild animal, tribes of people, natural disasters or famine. This meant anticipating that something bad was going to happen. If our remote ancestors remained overly positive, they probably would have been mauled by an animal, crushed by unsafe landscape, pillaged by other humans trying to survive or would have starved to death. It was unrealistic for those living in this dangerous time to be optimistic because there was always a chance that one wouldn’t make it through the day. Therefore, the negative mindset was born! Being pessimistic led to a higher chance of survival. If you need an example, think of the Pixar movie, The Croods! This wonderfully hilarious film follows the adventures of a family trying to survive in what seems like the paleolithic era where danger lurks everywhere and getting food to survive is a team-based task that took the efforts of everyone in the family. The father in this movie keeps his family alive the longest out of all the neighbors, because he advocates “always being afraid and not doing anything new.” For those of you who have seen the movie, you realize that this is a very comical depiction of thinking negatively to survive, however it still rings true. Of course, these days we no longer require this sort of vigilance to survive as those same threats no longer exist. However, that doesn’t change the way our brains are wired. We are more likely to tune into the negative versus the positive due to our brains conditioning to protect us from perceived dangers. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Negative thinking can keep us safe. When we get into our cars and put on our seatbelts, that’s an example of us expecting a possible negative event such as a car accident to which we are now prepared. When we look both ways before crossing an intersection, that’s us anticipating being hit by a car, which by looking for danger (cars coming toward us) we avoid being critically or fatally injured by oncoming traffic. When we practice safe sex, that’s an example of us anticipating unsafe pathogens or infections entering are bodies to which we are protecting ourselves from. So, one can conclude that there is value in negative thinking in the sense that it helps to keep us safe from things that can lead to physical harm. With that said, this doesn’t mean that we are doomed to feel bad for the rest of our lives. This just offers more of an explanation for why it’s easy for many of us (not all of us) to think and feel negatively rather than positively. The good news is that we are complex and sophisticated beings who can redirect negative thinking. There are things we can do to challenge our negative thoughts for the purpose of feeling better if negative thinking becomes problematic and interferes with overall functioning. If we’re stuck in unbalanced negative thinking, this can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, depression and negative self-talk, all of which can keep us from living our best lives and limits positive experiences when we have them. When we feel anxious and depressed our negative self-talk is likely to become extreme and we will focus on the negative aspects of a situation and miss out on the positive. There are several things we can do to better cope with negative thoughts such as reality testing, looking for alternative explanations, putting things into perspective, and using goal directed thinking. For reality testing, asking ourselves questions such as “what is the evidence that supports my thinking? Are my thoughts based on fact or my interpretation? How can I find out if my thoughts are true? Looking for alternative explanations means asking what else could this mean? Is there any other way I could look at this situation? Putting things in perspective is critically important as well. This means asking, are things as bad as I’m making them out to be? What is the worst that can happen and how likely is it? What is likely to happen, If the worst happens, what does that look like and would that really be as bad as I make it out to be? Goal directed thinking asks one’s self, what can I do to solve this problem? Is there something I can learn from this situation? By utilizing this form of self-talk, we could redirect of negative thoughts to more realistic and positive thoughts. While dangers still exist in our new world, we no longer need to anticipate the negative as our remote ancestors did. We are not prisoners to our primal conditioning and with these grounding questions we can feel better and tune more into our positive experiences as easily as we do the negative. For more information on this subject stay tuned and if negative thinking and negative self talk is something that you struggle with, contact me here for your complimentary consultation to discuss how I can be helpful!

In general, yoga has been found to improve physical fitness, flexibility, balance, strength, sleep, attention, and cognitive functioning. Yoga in a therapeutic setting is different from mainstream yoga in that it moves away from the goal of physical fitness, exercise, core strength, and physical flexibility, and focuses on our emotional well-being. Therapeutic yoga for emotional healing is used as a supplemental treatment to traditional psychotherapy. It’s a process that includes a mindful, “here-and-now” approach to enhance your concentration and energy while nurturing hope, acceptance, and self-forgiveness. Using yoga in a therapeutic setting teaches you how to become comfortable with the uncomfortable when dealing with typical daily stress to a major crisis. Research has shown that yoga can reduce cortisol levels (a stress hormone) in our bodies, which subsequently strengthens our immune system. It helps us learn how to create rhythms in our bodies, increase our sense of empowerment, provide us with the ability to choose and listen to our bodies instead of the chatter in our heads, react to conflict or challenges with stability and purpose instead of impulsivity, and broaden our window of tolerance when dealing with emotional discomfort or pain. Therapeutic yoga gives us the ability to see a broader picture of ourselves instead of getting caught up in the ruminations of the past and the anticipations of the future that tend to heighten our anxieties, fears, depression, anger, and resentments. There are no expectations for how you should feel, what you should be experiencing, or how you should be changing. Whatever you are experiencing in the moment is what you nurture since this process is all about honoring your body and it’s needs. Therapeutic yoga can help with a variety of mental health issues, whether you have a diagnosis or not. If you are struggling with the stress of everyday life, or have chronic mental illness, yoga for emotional healing can help. YOGA FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION Therapeutic yoga for emotional healing teaches you to love your body exactly where it’s at to improve self-esteem, self-forgiveness, and self-love. Therapeutic yoga teaches you to read your body and trust your inner wisdom, so you can gain back a sense of control and be able to better regulate your emotions. You’ll work through feelings of shame and self-doubt that might feed into depression. Although it’s not wrong or bad to feel sadness, grief, or depression, it’s important we don’t let these emotions control our behavior and thoughts. We can still feel a full range of emotions while staying mindful and present. Using yoga postures and breathwork in a therapeutic setting can assist you with grounding – meaning achieving a sense of emotional balance or stability. It encourages you to connect with yourself, and find a broader way to channel out internal chatter or negative thoughts that can be difficult to tune out. That dark cloud over your mind will be lifted, and you’ll get you back in touch with yourself and your surroundings in the present rather than reliving the regrets of the past. You’ll stop living in the past and start being present, bringing back your awareness to now, not what was. YOGA FOR REDUCING ANXIETY Therapeutic yoga for emotional healing helps you bring awareness inwards to your body, so you can become more in tune with what your body is telling you. When you are experiencing anxiety, therapeutic yoga for emotional healing can help you remove the angst and edge, and let go of what you’re holding on to – whether it’s worrying about the future or trying to be in control. You learn how to move on more quickly from anxious moments or prevent panic attacks through increasing self-awareness. You’ll be able to let go of the anxious moment by learning how to tell when an anxiety attack is coming on, acknowledging your feelings (because feeling anxious at times can be acceptable and valid), and then allowing these feelings to pass without judgment or further angst. You’ll understand that anxiety attacks are temporary, and once they’re gone, they’re gone. Through yoga, you’ll begin to understand that the present moment is what is real – not the past or the future. With this understanding, you’ll be able to find a sense of peace, clarity, and interpret situations rationally, rather than feeling doomed and worrying about the “what ifs.” Therapeutic yoga postures and breathwork allow you to redirect your focus to your body and the present. You’ll move your attention away from the mental chatter and ruminative thoughts by shifting the energy level down so you can find peace and tranquility. Yoga for emotional healing trains you to be more forgiving and kind to yourself, and empowers you to strengthen the positive parts of your life. YOGA FOR RECOVERING FROM ADDICTION If you are struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction, therapeutic yoga can help you live a sober and productive life. The primary goal for using yoga in substance abuse treatment is to teach you how to tolerate minor emotional discomfort without becoming easily triggered or overwhelmed. By building distress tolerance, you’ll be able to eliminate harmful or addictive behaviors, choose healthier options, set more attainable expectations, and increase access to self-care. A therapeutic yoga practice for emotional healing always incorporates grounding to assist you with finding a steady mind-body connection and building self-trust through yoga postures and breathwork. It immediately connects you with the present moment and help you regain your mental focus. However, grounding can be challenging and often an uncomfortable experience, especially for those struggling with addiction, because many people who struggle with addiction are trying to escape the present moment and their current feelings or discomfort. Therapeutic yoga requires that you stay in the present moment by sitting with yourself and your thoughts without external distractions. When grounded, you give yourself the opportunity to listen to the needs of your body and learn to rely on your own inner wisdom to promote self-trust. If you are more attuned to your body without judgment and become more self-aware then you learn to stop fearing your feelings, start understanding what your feelings mean, and stop avoiding or seeking escape in your life. As a result, you can learn to intervene early using learned coping skills to prevent panic attacks, anger outbursts, or even relapses by relying on your own self rather than on external factors. This is a skill with which many people struggle, but it is also a skill that is crucial in emotional healing and treating addiction. LEARN TO LOVE AND TRUST YOURSELF WITH THERAPEUTIC YOGA Overall, therapeutic yoga promotes self-care and self-worth, and teaches you to start doing things for yourself that create positive outcomes. It enhances your own sense of self-empowerment as you begin to trust your own inner wisdom and knowledge, rather than relying on external validation or substances or even patterns of avoidance. Yoga promotes new ways of thinking about yourself, the environment, and the relationship between the two. The ultimate goal is to help you become more grounded and emotionally stable not only during sessions, but in your own personal life off the mat, which is shown through making healthy life choices that nurture your mind, body, and soul. herapy can provide you with the coping tools you need to effectively manage your life. If you need one-on-one support and would like to inquire or learn more about therapeutic yoga and how it can be incorporated in your mental health treatment, contact Dr. Heather Violante, Psy.D. today at 954.391.5305 or at her website to find out how she can help you improve your emotional wellness and guide you on your pathway to new beginnings. Dr. Heather Violante is a licensed psychologist and founder of Serenity Lane Psychological Services. She is a certified vinyasa yoga instructor and additionally certified in using therapeutic yoga techniques for emotional healing. She specializes in helping adults struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, stress, anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder.

Everybody knows about Postpartum Depression (PPD), and it’s a good thing that its being spoken about, as it affects approximately 1 in 7 moms. Less often you hear about Postpartum Anxiety and other mood disorders that also impact millions of women every year. In fact, 15-20% of women experience more significant symptoms of depression or anxiety after a baby is born. PPD is definitely the most recognized and spoken about, and I find that there is fear and helplessness surrounding Postpartum Depression for many women. Many expecting moms express to me that they are fearful that developing PPD is something they can’t avoid. Like it’s something they will either “get” or they won’t. But this simply isn’t true. There are steps that you can take during pregnancy and early on in postpartum that can safeguard your emotional health. These tips are just a small percentage of what women can do early on to protect their emotional well-being. But these are the big ones, so take a look below: 1) Check your expectations: I cannot stress this enough. The expectations we have about motherhood completely alter our experience. If we think of motherhood and a new baby as what it appears to be on social media and the movies, AKA pure bliss and joy sprinkled with a little bit of perfection, then we are digging ourselves a hole. Motherhood is messy and the newborn stage and subsequent stages are HARD. It is so important to have real expectations for what is to come. That does not mean to be fearful and afraid, but it means to be real with yourself about the road ahead. Talk to your mom friends and get the real tea. 2) Talk to your partner BEFORE the baby comes: Conversations pre-baby are key. It is so important to communicate about your expectations about parenting before the baby comes. Who will carry what responsibility? How will household tasks be divided? What do you expect from your partner that maybe you aren’t voicing? Unspoken expectations that aren’t met become barriers. Don’t let this happen. Talk to your partner about what you see their role being, what you expect from them as a parent, (and partner) and what your game plan is for those sleepless nights. You’ll want to be on the same page! 3) Ask for help: If you are type A like me, this can be hard. Trust me, you need to for your sanity. Ask for help, and take it. Even if it's five minutes to go for a walk, or ten minutes to shower, please ask for it and use it. You need these moments to refill your glass, because you will constantly be giving from it. 4) Have a go-to person that you can speak your truth to: This is HUGE. I can’t tell you how many times this saved me. Knowing that I could call or text my go-to person and say anything and everything was huge. Every new mom needs that person that can receive whatever it is that they are going through and validate it. Find a friend who gets it. Text them when you are in moments of struggle. AND also share the small victories. Those happy moments are important to highlight too. Validation and support is essential to a new moms emotional well-being. When we keep this stuff to ourselves, especially the hard stuff, we allow shame to take over. Instead, speak your truth to someone who gets it, it will relieve so much stress and anxiety. As stated previously, these tips are not all-encompassing, but they are a good summary of where to start. If you are needing some more help navigating pregnancy or postpartum, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I love helping expectant and new moms confidently navigate the ebbs and flows of motherhood. Click here to schedule an appointment today. #wellness #anxiety #parenting #motherhood #newparents

Children with ADHD often have difficulty with these tasks as well as other important areas of functioning such as working memory, emotional regulation, starting tasks, planning projects, and focusing on one thing at a time. Further, these difficulties can lead to problems for children at home, school, and with friends. A child with ADHD may experience symptoms from one or more of the following categories: inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), The ADHD child test shows three subtypes of ADHD based upon these symptoms including: Primarily Inattentive Type (previously known as ADD) Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive type Primarily Combined Type (symptoms of inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive type) To qualify for a diagnosis of ADHD, there must be evidence of 6 of the 9 symptoms of inattentiveness or hyperactivity-impulsivity (or 12 for combined type). Symptoms for ADHD – Primarily Inattentive Type from the DSM-5 include: Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or during other activities (e.g., overlooks or misses details, work is inaccurate). Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly (e.g., mind seems elsewhere, even in the absence of any obvious distraction). Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (e.g., starts tasks but quickly loses focus and is easily sidetracked). Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., difficulty managing sequential tasks; difficulty keeping materials and belongings in order; messy, disorganized work; has poor time management; fails to meet deadlines). Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (e.g., schoolwork or homework; for older adolescents and adults, preparing reports, completing forms, reviewing lengthy papers). Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, mobile telephones). Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (for older adolescents and adults, may include unrelated thoughts). Is often forgetful in daily activities (e.g., doing chores, running errands; for older adolescents and adults, returning calls, paying bills, keeping appointments). The symptoms of ADHD – Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive Type include the following: a Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet or squirms in seat. Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected (e.g., leaves his or her place in the classroom, in the office or other workplace, or in other situations that require remaining in place). Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is inappropriate. (Note: In adolescents or adults, may be limited to feeling restless.) Often unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly. Is often “on the go,” acting as if “driven by a motor” (e.g., is unable to be or uncomfortable being still for extended time, as in restaurants, meetings; may be experienced by others as being restless or difficult to keep up with). Often talks excessively. Often talks excessively before a question has been completed (e.g., completes people’s sentences; cannot wait for turn in conversation). Often blurts out answers before a question has been completed (e.g., completes people’s sentences; cannot wait for turn in conversation). Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations, games, or activities; may start using other people’s things without asking or receiving permission; for adolescents and adults may intrude into or take over what others are doing). Another important aspect of ADHD is symptoms must be present in at least two settings such as home and school. Further, there must be clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with or reduce the quality of social, academic, or occupational functioning. This is important because most children at some point in their lives have difficulties with sitting still, paying attention, focusing on one thing at a time, and following through with instructions. What may be normal for many children becomes problematic when it consistently gets in the way of ones functioning and success at home or school. However, before jumping to the conclusion that your child may have ADHD, consider that many other medical or mental health issues can mimic ADHD. In addition, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recently published new guidelines for ADHD suggesting that many children with ADHD often have other co-occurring medical or mental health conditions (e.g., anxiety, depression, sleep apnea, substance abuse, autism spectrum disorder) . Therefore, proper diagnosis is crucial. A psychological evaluation is one of the most effective approaches to properly assess for and diagnose ADHD. By incorporating historical information (medical, family, academic, developmental, and psychiatric history) and measures of cognitive, academic, emotional, and behavioral functioning along with feedback from parents and teachers, a psychologist can accurately assess if these symptoms are due to ADHD or more likely the result of other conditions such as anxiety, learning disorders, autism spectrum disorder, or an auditory processing disorder. Aside from diagnosis, the most important component of a psychological evaluation is to generate recommendations and suggestions to implement at home and/or school to create better opportunities for success. A diagnosis can also be used to advocate for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 Plan at school to ensure appropriate accommodations are provided to support the student. Lastly, psychological evaluations identify areas of weaknesses but also provide insights into one’s strengths which are crucial to understand and build upon when working to create a roadmap for success. Find the Best Child ADHD Testing Near Me Dr. Heather Kuhl specializes in psychological evaluations with children and adolescents and is waiting to answer questions you may have about how testing could help your child.  Call Dr. Kuhl today at (954) 391-5305. #testing #evaluations #teens #parenting

Specific childhood experiences, paired with genetic predisposition, set the stage for addiction. An expert on addiction, Patrick Carnes, defines addiction as a failure to bond. When we’re born, we rely on our caregivers to help us form a “secure attachment.” Here’s what a secure attachment looks like: · We feel comfortable and confident. · We believe we can typically trust others. When our parents consistently attend to our needs, as well as help us feel supported, validated, and calm, we’re much more likely to develop this secure attachment. When the opposite occurs, we tend to develop an “insecure attachment,” which leads to the opposite experience. For this type of child, the experience is characterized by: · Difficulty trusting and liking oneself, as well as others · Consistent fear and stress If this sounds like your early childhood experiences, then I’m sure you can also relate to what happened next; you desperately wanted to feel better. You may have realized that food, shopping, sex, gambling, and/or any number of substances offered you relief from pain. All of the above lead to the release of dopamine in the brain, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel happy. When it comes to any of these activities and dopamine, we’re more likely to develop an addiction when: · The dopamine is released quickly · The dopamine is released intensely · We can consistently rely on the release of the dopamine When you decide you’re tired of being a slave to your addiction and you’re ready for a new, healthier start, here are some ways to make it happen: · Find and regularly participate in some healthy activities which also release dopamine (and therefore make you feel good). · Know that your emotions and problems are often short-lived, even when they feel as though they will last forever. · Recognize and cultivate the belief that pain and discomfort are natural parts of life. If you’d like to schedule your first session, call me, at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary consultation or for more information about my services, read my bio here. You can live a life free of addiction. Let me help you do it! #addiction #wellness #depression #trauma #stress #anxiety

Some people dread the end of the year because they focus on all of the things they didn’t accomplish - they see not meeting their New Year’s resolutions as failures and either get depressed about them or ignore their feelings. Others bypass the recap and jump into creating new goals for the year ahead. This is usually done with gusto in January but fades quickly when there is no specific support or plan on how exactly you are going to achieve your epic goals. The time of solo projects, solo travel, solo goal crushing is fading away and a new and not so new trend of meaningful connection is emerging. Everyone needs help and support on the road to their dream destination. Instead of going it alone, put yourself at the top of your list and get a therapist!!! Human beings need social connections.  The relationship you have with yourself sets the stage for the relationships you have with others and can either move you towards your goals or put them out of reach. One step you can make right now is to decide to get the support you need to accomplish your goals. Get out of your own way - Don’t make it about time. Don’t make it about the money. There are many options and ways to get help today. Along with private practice, there are online sites such as Talkspace and Betterhelp that are less expensive as well as clinics in every single major city to meet your budget needs. Here are 5 ways going to therapy can help you crush your goals this year: 1. Discover programmed patterns of relating inhibiting your growth. The first seven years of your life you were a sponge taking in information. This early childhood programming is filled with messages, habits, and beliefs which form the fabric of your identity. Inner child work done with expert guidance can help you begin to see how early childhood experiences may be interfering with your ability to be a full-grown adult. Learning to connect with and speak to your inner child can bridge the gap from who you were to who you are and who you choose to be. 2. Get unstuck from repetitive emotional cycles. How you manage your emotions can either make for a great day or the worst day ever. Emotions color our daily experiences and lead to how we view the world. Therapy teaches you to create new emotional experiences by allowing repressed emotions to surface and process. If you have ignored your feelings for a long time and pretend you are ok then you would benefit from learning to face them and move through them. 3. Learn to trust. Trust is a foundational element of a healthy relationship. When trust is damaged relationships begin to break apart and insecurities will rise to the surface. In therapy, you can experience what it means to have someone listen to you and not tell your secrets to anyone. Being in a safe relationship you can share your secrets and face shame and guilt hidden within. Therapy can heal the moments you broke your own trust so you can trust yourself again. 4. Develop the skills to manage stress and overwhelm. The moment a person enters into a state of overwhelm the mind and the body are in fight or flight mode and NOTHING gets done. Therapy can teach you coping skills and effective techniques to manage stress. Having the ability to move from overwhelm to calm will improve your decision-making, communication, and your health. 5. Improve your self-talk. There is nothing worse than trying to complete a project and hearing that voice in your head, “This is stupid. No one is going to want this.”  The inner critic is not going to get you to your goal. This voice can be transformed in therapy. Through self-examination and reflection you will figure out when this negative voice first appeared and explore how this inner critic has benefited you in the past. Together you can find new ways to communicate with this aspect of yourself so it can inform your choices rather than hinder your progress. Connecting with who you are can give you the skills and self-knowledge you need to overcome procrastination and feelings of not being enough. Imagine what it would feel like to be at peace with yourself internally, speak kindly to yourself, manage the negative thoughts and love yourself. I suspect you may find yourself being a little kinder and gentler with you while crushing your goals feels pretty damn good. For more information about Natalie Kusturic, M.A, LMFT and her services, visit her bio or call at 954-391-5305. #wellness #stress #selfesteem #authentic

The holidays have become synonymous with happiness. During this time, we are overwhelmed with images of cheerful music, smiling faces, and desirable values (such as being giving, caring, selfless, and appreciative). The problem is that this atmosphere is highly idealized, perfect, and oftentimes, unattainable. Additionally, these images are problematic because they do not speak to the considerable stress that often comes with the holidays. If you struggle to fit in with this picture, the holidays can be quite challenging.  You may find yourself burdened with the following common feelings: loneliness overwhelm stress anxious regret sadness exhaustion I want you to know that this holiday season can, and deserves, to be different. Here are some practical ways to reduce your stress, as well as increase your tranquility and happiness: Recognize and successfully plan for problems Consider your negative experiences from previous holidays.  You may remember, for instance, how you’ve repeatedly endured stress and anxiety around certain family members.  Once you develop a list of several common and repeated obstacles to your sanity, you can then develop ways to better navigate them. Be realistic We are continually misled to believe that the holidays must be a time of constant happiness and warmth.  It’s impossible to always be happy, so you want to have realistic expectations of yourself and your family members. Maintain your routine Developing and sustaining a routine provides us with a sense of stability and peace.  The holidays can threaten your routine with such tasks as shopping for gifts and getting together with family for dinners.  You will want to combat this by maintaining your routine to the best of your ability. Devote time to those who appreciate you When we have the support and love from those who value us, it makes the difficult times that much easier to overcome.  These loved ones can help ground and calm you, which are so crucial during the holidays. Set and maintain reasonable boundaries Routinely check in with yourself regarding the endeavors in which you can realistically partake.  It’s perfectly fine to say no when you’re asked to take on too much. Go ahead and give yourself permission to say no at the appropriate times. I am here to help you learn more about how to use these, and other, helpful skills to improve your holiday experience. If you would like to schedule your first session, call Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305. I look forward to speaking with you and helping you along your journey toward health and happiness!

You may know you need to change some aspect of your life, have at least some idea how to foster it, and yet, you ultimately resist it.  Let’s take a closer look at why this happens and what we can do about it. Some of the most common reasons you struggle to change: As much as you want and deserve to stop suffering, you’re used to it.  The more we get accustomed to anything, the harder it is to alter it. You’re ambivalent, which means a part of you wants change, while another part of you doesn’t (this can be because of fear, feeling overwhelmed, and other intense and unpleasant emotions). You’ve tried to change, but it seems like nothing you do ever works. These are all very common barriers to attaining the big changes, and therefore having the life you deserve. Here are some practical steps to overcoming these obstacles: 1. Try to See the Problem from a New Angle: Oftentimes, when we try to grow, we have trouble seeing the difficulties that are getting in our way. In these instances, therapy can be particularly useful, as your therapist can help you see things you may not have previously noticed: the potential missing pieces to your transformation. 2. Write Out Possible Solutions: In order to change, we need to see problematic patterns in our lives, as well as healthier patterns. It’s significantly easier for our brains to notice such patterns when we visually see them in front of us. 3. Reframe Failures: Loss and setbacks, if you’re open to it, are opportunities for feedback. You will encounter difficulties on your path to improvement, so it’s crucial you try to embrace this process and change the way you view these instances as information on what/where/how to grow. 4. Increase Your Focus on Positivity: You can’t get rid of all negative thoughts, but you can certainly increase your positive thoughts, as well as how they impact and help you. One great way to accomplish this is through using a gratitude journal. Each day, you’ll write down at least one thing in which you are thankful. 5. Set Short-and-Long-Term-SMART Goals Specific Measurable Adjustable Realistic Time-Based In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck writes: “Change isn’t like surgery. Even when you change, the old beliefs aren’t just removed like a worn-out hip or knee and replaced with better ones. Instead, the new beliefs take their place alongside the old ones, and as they become stronger, they give you a different way to think, feel, and act.” If you would like get started on these small steps to big change, call Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305 to schedule your first session. I look forward to speaking with you and helping you along your journey toward health and happiness. #trauma #authentic #wellness #anxiety