How to Keep the Spark Alive
Hi I’m Dr. Wynette. Today, I would like to discuss with you “How to Keep the Spark Alive”. Today’s message is for all couples. The topic is centered around maintaining and sustaining a healthy, happy relationship. I would like to provide you with 5 powerful tips on how to keep your relationship exciting! Watch my video below or continue reading this blog.
Tip #1 –Set Aside Time Once a Week for “Date Night.” Date night is an allocated time for you and your partner to be together. It is a minimum of 30 minutes set aside where the cell phones are off or put separately away. It can be at home having a lovely dinner for two, at the beach enjoying the view and time together, or a lavish night out at your favorite concert or show. The choice is up to the two of you. I highly recommend that date night is planned weekly.
Tip #2 –Communicate Most Effectively. An example of how to communicate effectively includes creating "advance timeouts". An advance password or code is used by either partner when discussions or disagreements are becoming intense, emotionally charged, and volatile. It should be an agreed upon word or statement that in a non-argumentative conversation would have a calming, harmonious effect on each partner.
For example, the name of the restaurant where you and your partner had your first date; or the name of your first pet together who always makes you both smile. Another example of effective communication is to match your partner’s communication style. If you are a more concise, straight to the point communicator, it is very important for you and your partner to be aware of this fact. Your partner will then know you like to receive information short, concise, and to the point.
Lastly, an overall key communication style to remember is to respond, not react. Reacting results in increased arguing and no resolution. Responding creates an environment for an intelligent, mature conversation.
Tip #3 – Prioritize Self Care. Self-care is creating an environment daily where each of you individually take care of your overall, emotional well-being. For example, it may be to get into the present moment and calm down your thoughts daily. It may be yoga for some people. Or, daily meditation for others.
Self-care can be a self-improvement class, an exercise class, or whatever your flavor is as far as a personal area you would like to individually see as a growth opportunity. The self-care plan should be uniquely tailored and developed separately for each of you.
Tip #4 – Become Aware of the 5 love languages. They are words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, and spending quality time together. There is a lot of research available on each. However, to sum it up, your partner has a primary love language when communicated is received as “I love you” and when you receive your primary love language it communicates back to you “I love you too.”
Tip #5 – Permission to Experience Heightened Intimacy. Intimacy being referred to here can also be described as “In To Me You See.” It is a higher level of vulnerability you and your partner give each other permission to experience.
The results of intimacy are an increased connection that is strong and capable of withstanding life experiences together. It assures that each of you are committed and determined to stay together. It allows you both to look into each other’s eyes, the windows of your souls, and connect at a heightened, unbreakable level.
For more information or to schedule a couples therapy session with me, please contact me at 954-391-5305 Ext 7. To read more about my approach to therapy and find out what services I offer, click here or visit my website.