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One of the phases of life that many people aren’t talking about, is the phase where we outgrow friendships. A majority of the individuals I work with in my counseling practice are young adults, aging between 18-35, and this specific struggle has been a very common trend in my office lately. It leaves so many people feeling so alone because frankly, nobody is talking about it AND making friends as an adult is hard! Most people start to notice the distance happening in their relationships when they/their friends enter different stages in life - whether that be high school friends moving to different colleges/states or friends entering different phases of their career or relationships. Oftentimes we see friendships change when individuals become married and start families - but sometimes the connection we feel to our friends starts to fizzle out for seemingly no reason at all. Naturally though, as we age, our interests and viewpoints change which can and often does change what our relationships look like. One sign that you may be outgrowing a friendship is when you notice yourself feeling unfulfilled or identify that the relationship feels one sided. When relationships turn one sided it often leads to resentment - whether you are frustrated you are doing more or become angry that your friend is no longer meeting your expectations. It is important to ask yourself- “is my friend going through a life change” in which case they may need some space, grace or support. If there are no life events prompting this friend to be showing up differently, it may be time to have a conversation with them or re-evaluate your expectations of the relationship. The How: This person was and is still someone you care deeply for! Try to express your feelings of missing them or the (insert emotion) you feel as a result of doing more or hearing from them less. Offer solutions or attempt to understand where the person is coming from. If you feel efforts are still not being made or reciprocated, it may be time to evaluate if staying in the friendship serves you. I read something once and it said something along the lines of “some people come into our lives to serve certain purposes - some are there to bring us from one milestone to another - but not all are there for the entire journey; not all are capable of going where we are meant to go”. This perspective has provided so much comfort in my life and in my relationships as they naturally ebbed and flowed. It’s interesting to think that someone can be a key player in our lives (for a long time even) but that doesn’t mean that they have to or that I am entitled to that forever. Another sign you may be outgrowing a friendship is the feeling of a change in interests or lifestyle. Perhaps you find yourself only connecting to the past, or you find yourself feeling you cannot talk about what your life looks like in the present day, for fear your once close friend will not understand or be able to show up for you in the way you need them to, for where you are in life today. If you are married or have children, some of your friends who are perhaps without children or not actively in a relationship may struggle to understand your life dynamic and may struggle to celebrate that with you. The How: Challenge yourself to get to know the person your friend is today or better yet, challenge yourself to try to introduce the version of you today to your longtime friend. Coping doesn’t always have to mean cutting off the relationship but could just look like changing the frequency of how much you interact, or changing the atmosphere that you spend time in. If you feel a clean break is needed, try to avoid ghosting and communicate what has changed and what is important to prioritize for you in the future. As I said, outgrowing friendships is the piece of adulthood that nobody really prepares you for - we prepare and are familiar with relationships ending and the grief that comes with that, but often overlook the immense grief in either losing a friend, or becoming more distant from someone you spent a lot of time with. Be gracious with yourself as you move through all of the different kinds of feelings - wishing you hadn’t drifted apart, trying to make it work (successfully or unsuccessfully), being frustrated with them or yourself for not doing more, being sad in moments you wish they could’ve/would’ve been around, etc. To outgrow one relationship of any kind creates room in your life for abundance in new relationships. Allow yourself to grieve what has changed while also inviting the possibility for new connection in the future. If you are looking for one-on-one support with therapy, I invite you to contact me for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 so we can discuss how I can help! I provide counseling for adults at our beautiful office in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and online via our secure telehealth platform for those who live in Florida. For more information about me and my approach to therapy or NET, please visit my page here.

As humans, we are often surrounded by communication with others. Whether it is at work, with family and friends, or running errands on the weekends. The number of interactions with others is hard to count, but it is our interaction with ourselves that is the MOST powerful. Self-talk refers to the internal dialogue we have within ourselves. It is the constant flow of unspoken thoughts that run through our heads daily. For some, this self-talk is positive. For others, these thoughts are more negative. Studies have shown that it is much easier for us to be hard on ourselves than it is to be positive. We often find ourselves being harsh, critical, or judging the things we do and the things we say. Being aware of this pattern and having a want to change it is the first step to making this hard, yet powerful shift of mindset. Positive self-talk takes patience and practice. Making a conscious effort to practice positive self-talk will allow it to come more easily and naturally in the future, with the goal of having a more positive mindset and outlook overall. Here are some ways to work on implementing positive self-talk: Challenge yourself. Challenging yourself is an important part of practicing positive self-talk. As stated above, it is much easier for us to be hard on ourselves. If you notice yourself thinking negatively, or highlighting faults, stop yourself. Be conscious of the negative mindset and make a strong effort to reframe your thinking into something more positive. Pairing the thought stopping technique with the reframing technique is a great way to start the process of retraining your brain. Changing your perspective can have a powerful impact on your response to a situation and on the way you view yourself. Below is an example of this process: Negative thought: “I am not cut out to lead this meeting today. I am not capable, and I know it is going to go poorly.” Thought stopping: “I’m being negative again. This isn’t going to help. I am going to make a conscious effort to reframe this thought.” Reframe: “I am nervous, but I know I am prepared and capable of leading this meeting. It is going to go well, and I will feel relieved after. I can do this!” Add it to your daily routine. Just like with any new change to your life, positive self-talk takes practice. Making it a point to add this practice to your daily routine will invite the ability to change your perspective on a more regular basis. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Choose a time that you will remember to practice. This can be right when you wake up, on your way to work, or right before bed. You can give yourself credit for recent success and growth or acknowledge a recently achieved goal. You can acknowledge the positive qualities about yourself and highlight strengths. There is no strict format for positive self-talk. The most important piece is to focus on being positive. This positivity will help you train your brain to think on the bright side rather than dwelling on the negative. Check in with yourself. Check ins are an important part of making a conscious effort to practice positive self-talk. It is a way to reflect on the mindset you’ve had for the day, and your abundance or lack of self-compassion. If you feel like you’ve had a positive mindset and have been kind to yourself, acknowledge that and give yourself credit for it. Reflect on how this pattern has shifted your mood for the day and use this shift as motivation to keep the pattern going. If you feel you’ve been more negative or hard on yourself, it is important to acknowledge this too. Use this acknowledgement as time for a reset. Make an effort to implement more positive self-talk as an attempt to shift your mindset for the remainder of the day. Not all days are going to be positive, but you have the ability to shift your mindset and end the day on a good note. Use “I am” affirmations. “I am” affirmations are extremely powerful when it comes to increasing self-worth and working on positive self-talk. Acknowledging your strengths and qualities is a great way to shift your mindset and train your brain into thinking more positively. Setting aside time to practice self-affirmations can significantly improve your mood and mindset. It can also be helpful to write them down and place them throughout your home or office as a healthy and helpful reminder. Some examples of powerful “I am” affirmations: I am worthy. I am beautiful. I am enough. I am loved. I am capable. I am strong. I am resilient. The more you practice positive self-talk, the easier and more organic it will feel. Shifting your mindset can improve your mood, regulate your emotions, and give you a more positive outlook on your past, current, and future situations. Feeling better about yourself can improve your connections and relationships with others and make you feel more motivated to achieve set goals for yourself. All growth and change takes time, but making an effort to put in the work and being patient with yourself will aid in an overall improvement in your self-worth. Counseling Can Help! If you need additional support with boosting your positive self-talk or developing more happiness into your life, counseling can help! Contact me for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. I provide counseling for adults at our beautiful Plantation office with Bayview Therapy. I also offer online counseling for those who live in Florida on our secure telehealth platform. For more information about my services, click here. I look forward to speaking with you!

Sleep is as elusive as it is vital to living a healthy life. Research has shown that insufficient sleep can increase anxiety and depression symptoms, impair daily functioning at home and at work, and even cause psychosis in extreme cases. Sleep is so crucial to our functioning that it is built into our bodies’ survival skills. This means your body will fall asleep eventually, whether you’re in a safe place for it or not, increasing your risk of accident or injury. It can be a tricky task to begin building a healthy sleep cycle. Here are some strategies that may help you catch some more shut-eye tonight: Set the Mood- turn down your temperature, incorporate essential oils, have little to no light in the room, turn off the TV Train Your Brain- build a strong association between sleep and your bed No More Naps- less sleep during the day means more sleep at night Consistency is Key- go to sleep and wake up at the same time, yes, even on the weekends Set the Mood: Whether it’s a romantic dinner or an energetic dance party, setting the mood is crucial to a successful night and a night of sleep is no different. First, turn your thermostat down! Creating a cool environment allows your body to remain comfortable as it relaxes. If your environment is too warm it will induce the body’s natural function of producing sweat to cool itself down. Essential oils, such as lavender, are another powerful way to evoke sleep. Essentials oil can be used in many forms such as in lotions or in diffusers to help relax your mind and body. Next, it’s time to turn off the lights. Although some people swear by using the TV to help them fall asleep, the blue light disrupts the natural circadian rhythm that helps regulate sleep/ wake cycles. Plus, who likes to wake up to the sound of infomercials at 2 a.m.? If you typically fall asleep to a TV show, consider downloading a meditation app (ie: Insight Timer or Headspace), or using an app like YouTube to find one you like. Once you have found a meditation or white-noise of your choice, you’re ready to peacefully drift to sleep. Here’s another tip: set your phone timer to 20 minutes and select “Stop Playing” instead of an alarm. This will stop the meditation once you are asleep. Train Your Brain: Your bed should be used for only two things: sleep and sex. The goal is to build a strong association between your bed and sleep. This is achieved by spending as little time awake in bed as possible. So, what does this look like on a typical night? Do your nightly reading on a couch or chair in a quiet, darkened space. Move yourself to your bed when you begin to feel yourself become drowsy. If you watch TV, do so in your living room instead of your bedroom. If you find yourself tossing and turning, get out of bed and find a cold, dark place to sit. When you begin to feel drowsy you then should return to bed. It is important that during this time you do not scroll on your phone. If you are taking a nap, do not take it in bed. Leave the bed exclusively for your long, peaceful nights of sleep! No More Naps: Think of your night of sleep like a checking account and every day you have a balance between 7 to 9 hours. Your unique balance in your account for restorative sleep is dependent on various life factors such as age, activity level, etc. It may take some trial and error to figure this out, but you can safely assume it falls within this range. Naps are withdrawals from that account and leave you unable to achieve the consecutive hours of restorative sleep you need at night. This leaves you feeling tired the next day and wanting to nap again. And so the cycle continues. A short nap on occasion will ultimately not bankrupt you. However frequent, lengthy naps may cause a sleep debt that is difficult to pay down, no matter how hard you try. Keep yourself out of the cycle and cut naps out of your daily routine. Consistency is Key: Have you ever seen how a dog sits by the food bowl 5 minutes before dinner time? It has learned what time dinner is without being able to read a clock! Just like your furry companion, you can train your body and brain to learn when to begin to wind down for sleep naturally. The idea is simple: wake up at the same time every day and go to sleep at the same time every night. Yes, even on the weekends. The execution is not as easy as it sounds. Try these tips: Get your partner on board. If you don’t feel like you are missing out on the rest of the next episode of the show you’re watching together you will be more motivated to go to bed. Commit to waking up at the same time no matter when you went to sleep. This makes waking up a habit so that the 6:30 alarm Monday thru Friday does not feel as dreadful. Commit to not napping during the day. Adding sleep somewhere else works against your goal. If difficulties with sleep continue to persist, seeking professional help to work on underlying issues with a mental health professional can help. Working with a therapist can help address anxiety, trauma, and unhealthy habits that may be impacting your ability to sleep. Improving your health overall, including your mental health, is likely to improve your quality of sleep. In addition to the strategies listed above, I encourage you to seek counseling to promote better sleep. I invite you to contact me for a complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 so we can discuss how I can help. I provide counseling for adults in our east Fort Lauderdale office as well as online therapy via our secure telehealth platform. For more information about my approach or my services, click here.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. A newly licensed and practicing psychologist, I was on an upswing in life and growing as a professional and adult over all. And then it came… the letter. I remember seeing it, the crisp white envelope almost sticking out amongst the rest of the junk mail. In the top corner of the envelope, the return address caused my stomach to knot up almost instantly, momentarily frozen where I stood… Internal Revenue Service. Instantly my mind filled with thoughts and images of my professional and personal demise. Am I being audited? Did I do something wrong? What if I don’t have the money they are demanding? What am I going to do? My life is over… I know, it sounds dramatic. At this point in my professional career I was quite new and still getting acquainted with the ins and out of owning and operating a small business. While I still get some nervousness today, it’s nowhere near what it was then. It felt extremely intense, potentially career ending news… it was catastrophic. Having not yet even opened the letter, I was already imagining the end of a career that had just begun. Many of the people I work with in counseling can connect with that sense of panic, the sudden spiraling of their thoughts, and feeling less and less in control. Oftentimes the thoughts associated with these moments are focused on the worst case scenario or possibility of a particular situation. For example, if we are stuck in traffic we might think Now I’ll never get to work. Or if we do poorly on a test or exam we might think This is too hard, I’ll never succeed. Or if we lose a client or have a slow week at work we might think This is it, my business is going to fail and I’ll be left destitute… Or is that just me… Catastrophization, or catastrophic thinking, is a common component of anxiety. It takes the form of thoughts that could be just about anything: illness, success/failure, overcoming obstacles, achieving our goals. Catastrophic thoughts do have some commonalities: They focus on worst-case scenarios They focus on future events They often elicit strong emotional responses in us They often lack rational or logical supportive evidence I’m sure the majority of you reading can identify specific examples of catastrophic thinking from your own lives. Catastrophic thinking prevents us from facing our fears or addressing our problems by making our problems feel bigger than they actually are. The emphasis here is that the issues feel bigger or more complicated than they actually are. The problems are real, the difficulties and obstacles are real, and your feelings are valid. However, catastrophic thinking skews our thoughts and ignites feelings of fear and worry, ultimately convincing us not to try in the first place, or even self-sabotage. So then, why do we catastrophize? Why would we want to prevent change? The work with my therapy clients highlights a few different motivations. A client once described, “If I imagine the worst possible outcome, I can at least be prepared for it.” Another client stated “it’s how I self-sabotage… if I don’t try then I can’t fail.” And yet a third once stated that catastrophic thinking “makes my life seem less terrible.” While a person’s individual motivation or reasoning might be unique, the outcome is the same: catastrophic thinking prevents change. Where do we start? First, we build our awareness of the presence and impact of our catastrophic thinking; then, we make a plan for addressing this cognitive distortion. Feeling strong emotions is part of being human, but we can be more aware and more skilled when it comes to how our emotions impact what we think, say, and do. And catastrophic thinking is often a result of anxiety and fear going unchecked. The feelings will occur, but the spiraling thoughts and arresting panic do not need to follow. There are specific skills and interventions to help us identify and to challenge our catastrophic thinking. Finding the evidence and putting our thoughts on trial are examples of cognitive skills to unpack catastrophic thoughts. Likely, our catastrophic thinking has become quite familiar at this point. We all experience “tunnel vision” when it comes to our issues. Speaking with a therapist might be an important part of getting out of that tunnel vision and working through the issue. If you’d like more information on how I can help you overcome catastrophic thinking or other challenges, reach out for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. I look forward to speaking with you soon and discussing how I can help! Dr. Jeff Mandelkorn provides counseling for adults at our serene Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs offices. He also offers online counseling for those who reside in Florida via our secure telehealth platform. For more information on his approach or services, click here.

Break-ups bring a very specific, deep, and emotional pain. It can sometimes even feel intolerable. It’s a loss and it can even present itself like grief. Break-ups leave us in a dark state, one of confusion and many unanswered questions. The “what if” and “now what” questions can consume your thoughts, leaving you unable to get the answers you so desperately seek. The period after a break-up can be one of the most challenging times to navigate. People will always tell you that you will get through it and that they've been there, but every break-up is different and your pain is unique. Afterall, no one experienced the same relationship as you did. However, even though every break-up is unique, it is important to put into play some healthy coping skills during this time to keep you feeling as healthy as you can, keep you moving on each day, and manage this difficult time as best you can. Not all coping mechanisms will be the same for each person, and therapy is an incredible way to explore unique coping skills for yourself and gain some healthy tips to get you started to move on and heal. Below I have provided some of my favorite coping skills I've personally used and ones I've shared with my clients, friends, and loved ones who have gone through difficult break-ups in their life. My hope is they can help you, too! Focus On Yourself: This is such an essential time to shift your focus onto yourself. This is the time to let yourself feel all your feelings as they may come. Be sad when you're sad, rest when you're tired, be active when you have energy, and prioritize all of your needs. Journaling can be a great way to navigate the plethora of feelings you are probably feeling at this time and a good way to achieve some release. You spent a lot of time focusing on the relationship, it's now time to prioritize your own wants and needs. Enhancing your self-care during this time is important. Self-help books on break-ups, podcasts, and various resources are a good way to feel supported right now. Don't be afraid to give yourself a lot of love and pampering as well. Treat yourself with love, kindness, and patience during this time to heal at your own pace. Spend Time With Loved Ones: This is such an important part of break-up recovery. You may want to be alone and this is okay and even healthy in moderation, but finding support in friends or family that you respect and trust is an invaluable resource to healing. Your support system can help you to be reminded that love is possible in our lives in other aspects outside of your romantic relationships and remind you that you're NOT ALONE. Call a friend, call a family member. If this is not possible for you, there are a plethora of support systems available online and in person that can help you navigate this time with those who can relate to your pain. Disconnect: Social media platforms can be really toxic during this time. It's easy to fall into bad habits of comparing your life to others via posts and pictures. Try disconnecting from social media during this time and shifting focus to your life in real time and being present. It's also not uncommon to keep tabs on your ex through the internet. This can easily set you back in your break-up recovery healing process. Blocking or restricting your access to your ex’s profiles is a good way to stay focused on you and prevent slipping into unhealthy coping patterns. Stay Busy: Keeping yourself distracted and busy is a good way to keep your thoughts distracted in a healthy way from overthinking and anxiety during this break-up. Focusing on your work, giving yourself goals, and being productive during this time will help you feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement which is so beneficial when you might be feeling low. Getting healthy movement and exercise is also important to feel like the healthy and strong person you are. Staying busy and healthy helps you to remember your capabilities, enhance your self-worth, and even keeps the anxiety at bay. Create New Experiences: This last coping suggestion has plenty of room for creativity. This is a perfect time in your life to start creating new experiences and joyous memories in your life. This can mean planning new activities, hobbies, trips, or even cutting out bad habits and/or people from your life. I often tell clients to create a vision board to begin viewing the life they want to live, envision for themselves in their future, and get inspired to try new things. Your life doesn't stop because your relationship ended. Creating new experiences can help you enjoy life in a way you haven't and give you hope and inspiration for a happy, healthy future. Need More Support Recovering From Your Breakup? Break-up therapy is something I have been passionate about in my counseling practice and often is an undertreated area in mental health. My therapeutic approach to break-up therapy is a personalized and collaborative experience to help you focus on YOUR needs and goals. I use a solution focused style to help you begin to develop and work on your goals and your future. Together we can explore the relationship and break-up to help you achieve a deeper understanding of your feelings, gain closure, and begin to set goals for what you want to achieve and where you want to be moving forward. If you or someone you know may benefit from Break-Up therapy, please don't hesitate to contact me today at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary phone consultation to discuss your therapy needs and how I can help. We have a big, brand new, beautiful office located in Plantation, Florida that can accommodate all your relationship needs. Virtual therapy is also an awesome option for those with busy schedules. For more information about my approach or my services, visit my bio here. I look forward to hearing from you!

The word “balance” seems to be making an appearance more and more these days. Whether it is something you’ve been longing for yourself or something you encourage others to be mindful of, it is a common theme when it comes to mental health and taking care of yourself. The idea may seem easy for some, but I find most of the clients I work with find the idea to be overwhelming. When you are juggling so many daily tasks and responsibilities, how is it possible to implement healthy balance into your life? A healthy first step to implementing balance into your life is to understand the different components of wellness. Tending to different areas of your wellness can make the idea of balance seem less overwhelming and overtime you will find yourself feeling more grounded. Each dimension of wellness can affect your overall mental health, physical health, and quality of life. There are eight main components of wellness. Let’s break them down to better understand how you can implement healthy change in each area, leading to a more balanced and fulfilled lifestyle. Emotional Emotional wellness encompasses many elements but highlights the importance of being able to effectively cope in life. Whether it’s life events, personal relationships, or your own personal feelings, it is important to be aware and effectively cope with your emotions. Being able to acknowledge and handle your emotional reactions to people and situations increases personal awareness and decreases anxiety. Tips for tending to your emotional wellness: Set up weekly therapy appointments with a trained mental health professional Journal daily (thoughts, feelings, gratitude, and/or affirmations) Implement breathing and relaxation techniques Environmental Environmental wellness can sometimes be explained by taking care of our planet, but when it comes to balance in life it is best described as tending to the environment that you immerse yourself in daily. This environment can include where you live, where you work, and who you spend your time with. Creating a safe and positive space for you to spend your time in can significantly improve your mental health. Making it a point to surround yourself with good energy and good company is key when it comes to this element of wellness. Tips for tending to your environmental wellness: Declutter/tidy your living space Reorganize your office and add calming elements (artwork, oils, etc.) Reach out and make plans with people who lift you up Financial Financial wellness focuses on satisfaction with both your current and future financial state. Finances are the source of stress for many people and feeling off in this element can cause a lack of balance in other areas of your life. Implementing financial wellness doesn’t have to equate to making a huge salary, but instead focuses on being able to live comfortably and focusing on a plan for the future. When money isn’t your sole focus and isn’t mentally dragging you down, it is a sign that you’re successfully tending to your financial wellness. Tips for tending to financial wellness: Create a budget spreadsheet Meet with a financial advisor to discuss options for the future Set both short-term and long-term financial goals Intellectual Intellectual wellness highlights the importance of nourishing your mind. Continuing to learn, expanding your mindset, and feeding your brain are all parts of this element. Exercising your mind is a key element to tending to your mental health and not feeling stagnant in life. Whether you are learning a new language or skill, or reading for pleasure, it is important to keep your brain active and stimulated. Tips for tending to intellectual wellness: Attend trainings, lectures, or seminars Read books or blog posts Enroll in classes that spark your interest Occupational Occupational wellness encompasses elements pertaining to personal satisfaction and fulfillment from your job/career. Most people spend more time at their job than they do at home, so lacking fulfillment in this area throws off balance when it comes to your overall wellness. Not all individuals have the luxury of doing what they love as a career, but you can avoid being miserable or feeling mentally drained at your workplace. If you are that person who dreads going to work each day, it is time to look at how this is affecting your overall mental health. Having a job or career that gives you purpose or is a step towards a larger goal can have a positive impact on mindset and lifestyle. Tips for tending to occupational wellness: Explore career opportunities you are passionate about Work part time while you tend to long term career goals Attend workshops that excite you Physical Physical wellness is often underestimated when it comes to how much it can impact your mental health. If you are not taking care of your body physically, your mental state will also take a hit. Physical wellness focuses on physical activity and exercise, diet and nutrition, and healthy sleep habits. Taking care of your body physically can help reduce anxiety, improve self-esteem, and increase positive mindsets. Many people use physical exercise as a healthy coping mechanism, which is a great way to implement the idea of balanced wellness into your life. Being aware of how you treat your body and what you put into your body is an important step to feeling more balanced in your life. Tips for tending to physical wellness: Exercise for 30 minutes, 4-5 times per week Avoid excessive sugars, alcohol, and other unhealthy habits Get 7-8 hours of sleep per night depending on what your body needs Social When you are juggling a lot in life, social wellness can often take the backburner. Making improvements in this area can improve many other aspects of life. Social wellness focuses on connection and support. Having healthy and meaningful relationships often gives people more fulfillment in life. Individuals who struggle with social anxiety may cringe at the idea of tending to this area of wellness, but it can be catered to what works for you. Social wellness isn’t about hanging out with a large group of people, it’s about being around those who matter to you. When you find yourself isolating more and not leaning on your support system, it is a sign that social wellness needs to move up on your priority list. Tips for tending to social wellness: Plan a weekly date night with your significant other or a small group of friends Join a club or organization at work or school Make it a point to spend time with the people you love Spiritual Spiritual wellness is aimed at exploring and expanding your sense of meaning and purpose in life. Although sometimes paired with religion, there is much more to the idea of spirituality. You don’t have to belong to a specific religion to explore your values in life. Tending to this area of your wellness allows you to explore the idea of being grounded and mindful in your life and relationships. Self-reflection is a large part of spiritual wellness, which can be practiced in many of the other elements of wellness as well. Tips for tending to spiritual wellness: Look into attending a meditation retreat Implement mindfulness practices into your daily routine (breathing, yoga, etc.) Engage in actions that aid in fulfillment and purpose As with most things, balance takes time. With more understanding of each element of wellness comes more of an opportunity to implement healthy changes into your life. Picking a few tips from the lists above to implement in your routine is a great first step towards living a more balanced lifestyle. When you are actively taking care of yourself, the stressful things become more manageable and the goals you’ve set for yourself become more attainable. If you need additional support on your journey towards wellness and living a more balanced life, we’re here to help! Contact Alyssa Woolslair, LMHC for your complimentary consultation at 954.391.5305. Alyssa provides counseling for adults at our beautiful Plantation office (near Davie, Weston, Pembroke Pines, Southwest Ranches, and Sunrise, Florida). She also provides online counseling via our secure telehealth platform. For more information about Alyssa’s approach to counseling, click here.

I can’t believe that it’s our 2nd year anniversary this week at the Coral Springs office! It’s amazing how fast time flies when you’re doing what you love… I can remember when this office was just a dream... It was during the pandemic in the summer of 2020 when life was very uncertain and scary. We were all doing our best to stay safe and adapt to our “new norm”. However, we knew the community needed more help than ever, especially with the additional stress COVID was bringing our way. We searched for the perfect office space even though it was unclear what the future held, took the anxiety provoking and exciting leap to sign a long-term lease agreement, and started building our beautiful office space - one that we knew our team and future clients would LOVE. I couldn’t be more proud of what we’ve created at our Coral Springs office. It’s been a labor of love. It’s a beautiful place to be… the culture we’ve created with our fantastic team of expert clinicians, the beautiful spa-like vibe, the curated resin artwork, I could go on and on… Thank you so much to our amazing team members who are the backbone of what we do. They are so passionate about making a difference in our community and it shows in the incredible work they do. Thank you to Alexa von Oertzen for being our team lead and helping behind the scenes. Thank you for our Coral Springs, Parkland, Coconut Creek, Boca Raton, and surrounding communities for your trust in us and allowing us to help with life’s most difficult challenges. We are here for you and honored to be a part of your journey! Happy anniversary to our lovely Coral Springs counseling + psychology office! Kate Campbell, PhD, LMFT Founder & CEO

Parenting is one of the most challenging, yet most rewarding jobs ever! If you’re struggling with your role or confidence as a parent, we want you to know that you’re not alone. There are many resources available to help you along the journey from pregnancy to postpartum to parenting and beyond… You may have already heard of parent coaching or coaching for parents and you might be wondering what it is and how it can help… Parent coaching is a collaborative and direct approach to support parents on their journey through parenthood. This is a professional relationship focused on providing the parent with an increased ability and set of tools to manage their role as a parent while developing a resilient and well-adjusted child. Parent coaches can provide support during a crisis or when behavioral concerns occur. However, many families use parent coaches as a sounding board throughout their parenting journey. You may be wondering if this is something that would help your family or your child. Here are 3 things you didn’t know about parent coaching that may help you decide. It’s Different Than Therapy: Most people may be surprised to hear parent coaching is different from individual therapy. Rather than exploring the past and guiding the client through their own self-discovery, a parent coach is direct and action-oriented. A parent coach will focus on the present and current issues the parent shares. Through thorough assessment, the parent coach will identify targeted areas of change. The parent will be educated on new parenting techniques and provided with concrete tools to use at home. Parent coaching is practical and solution-focused. The parent will have skills they can use immediately, even after the first session. After receiving parent coaching, the parent will have a better understanding of what drives a child's behavior and what they can specifically do to shape it. Parent Change Makes a Big Impact: Often when children are displaying behavioral issues, a parents first reaction is to get them in therapy or blame them for their behavior. It is unlikely parents self-reflect, or look at themselves and what may be contributing to the child's behavior. Parent coaching provides a safe space for parents to look at their own behavior, consider some of the triggers they may be contributing to or behaviors they may be reinforcing based on their responses. A parent coach will help to shape these behaviors in a more adaptive way and increase a parents own self-regulation skills. This puts the parents in control and increases a child's ability for success! In addition, oftentimes, children will work on their behaviors and develop coping skills in their own therapy. However, when they return to the home, the same triggers and reinforcers occur, making it difficult for the child to truly change their behavior. With the help of a parent coach, a parent and child together can make actual effective change. Coaching for Parents is Highly Effective: After engaging in parent coaching, parents report an immediate change in their home. They see changes in their child’s behavior based on the way they are responding to them. Additionally, they see their children from a different perspective which allows them to respond differently. Children also display increased self-esteem and greater ability to complete challenges as they feel the support of their parents and feel they are on their side. Parents are experts in knowing their children and have tons of information to contribute in making their home a more harmonious place. Get Started With Parent Coaching Today! If you’re struggling with parenting your child/children and are looking for more support, guidance, and effective strategies to reclaim peace, harmony, and happiness in your home, we’re here to help! Give us a call at 954-391-5305 to speak with one of our licensed counselors at Bayview Therapy who can provide coaching for parents. We have offices in Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs, and Plantation, Florida and also provide parent coaching online across the state of Florida via our secure telehealth platform. Jessica Califf, LMFT offers parenting coaching and counseling for children, teens, adults, and families at our beautiful Plantation, Florida office. Give us a call to schedule your complimentary consultation today. We look forward to helping you and your family live your best life!

Do you stick around in a relationship even when you know you deserve better? Are you afraid of being alone? Do you worry you don’t deserve better? Do you tend to lower your standards and expectations in relationships? Do you tend to self-sabotage when someone does treat you right? If any of these questions sound like you, it may be time for some self-reflection about how you’re valuing yourself and what you think you deserve. Low self-worth is a breeding ground for toxic and unfulfilling relationships. Often, the work of healing needs to center around improving self-love. What is Self-Worth? Self-worth is correlated to self-esteem, one’s opinion of themselves, confidence, perceived personal success and self-respect. Self-worth is a critical aspect and influence on mental health. Negative self-worth can look like dissatisfaction with oneself, being overly critical and negative of one’s self, and fear of failure and rejection, all of which are risk factors for anxiety and depression. Positive self-worth looks like taking pride in oneself and accomplishments, having a good attitude more often than not, being able to identify one’s positive skills and attributes and feeling capable in comparison to one’s peers. There are many factors that influence someone’s sense of self-worth. It can stem from early childhood trauma, an anxious attachment style, a history of rejection, poor academic performance, family dynamics and continuous comparison to others, to list a few. Self-worth goes beyond someone’s opinion of themselves, but it is also influenced by events in the social sphere: our environment, interactions and experiences. Therefore, low self-worth can cause dissatisfaction, low standards, conflict and compromising on key values in relationships. Self-Worth & Relationships What’s more, self-worth functions on a cyclical feedback loop. Low self-worth negatively affects relationships, which further validates and reaffirms low self-worth, which creates a spiral of toxic relationships and low self-esteem. Toxic relationships are often characterized by lack of support, lack of validation of feelings, lack of communication, manipulation and can exhibit physical/emotional abuse. However, many people who stay in toxic relationships do so because they have low-self-worth and want to keep any relationship, even if they know it’s not good for them. This is mainly because they don’t think they have the positive characteristics to bring into and support a healthy, loving relationship. Another significant way low self-worth presents itself in romantic relationships is through an anxious attachment style. In a romantic relationship, an anxious attachment style is characterized by desiring affection and intimacy with your partner, but being fearful these feelings and actions will not be reciprocated. This can be a very self-deprecating situation that contributes to low self-esteem and self-worth and thus continues the toxic relationship cycle. So, How Can You be Happier With Yourself and With Your Relationship? On the bright side, self-worth and esteem can be changed and influenced. Often this can be done with the assistance of a therapist using a few different approaches. A therapist can help you identify cognitive distortions, realize your thoughts are not fact, and reframe your thoughts to be more realistic and based on evidence, not the lies spun by your anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help improve communication, conflict resolution and identification plus communication of emotions. This can help you accept, improve, or change certain aspects of your relationships to make both individuals happier and more fulfilled in the relationship. Narrative Therapy for low self-esteem is another helpful approach to increase happiness with self and relationships. Working with a narrative therapist can help individuals understand and change the stories they tell themselves about their lives. One aspect of narrative therapy that can be particularly helpful for individuals with low self-esteem is its focus on externalizing problems. In this approach, individuals understand that their low self-esteem is not inherent to their identity but rather a problem they can work to change. Additionally, individuals can identify and challenge negative self-talk and beliefs and develop a more positive and empowering narrative about themselves. EMDR Therapy can help clients change their negative views of themselves by taking them back to their family of origin, healing relational trauma, desensitizing negative beliefs, and installing new positive thoughts that help change toxic behaviors and seek healthier interpersonal connections. You will realize that the behaviors that you learned to use to keep you safe are no longer serving you in adulthood. 5 Minute Journal Exercise to Increase Your Self-Esteem Identifying your positive qualities and affirming these to yourself is key. Consider initiating a journaling practice by setting aside 15 minutes a day and working through prompts about self-worth: What are my strengths? What are 5 things I like about myself? What are 5 things I’m proud of that I’ve accomplished or helped with? What have I learned from past relationships? Where was I able to set boundaries or speak up for myself? What do I bring to a relationship and what do I expect of my partner? What are my values and expectations in a relationship? As cliche as it sounds, it is important to love, value and respect yourself first and foremost. Fortunately, we can help you get to the root of how and why your self-worth is damaging your relationships and help you work on loving yourself and increasing your self-esteem. If you’re ready to improve your relationship with yourself and others, therapy can help! Call today at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary phone consultation to see how we can help. Alexa von Oertzen, LMFT specializes in helping teens and adults get past their struggles with self- worth and set themselves up for healthier relationships. For more information about Alexa and her approach, click here. She provides counseling and EMDR therapy for teens and adults in Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs, Florida as well as online therapy across the state of Florida via our secure telehealth platform. We look forward to helping you live your best life!

Have you ever experienced this?? You’re driving into work as you normally do and suddenly you’re hit with a frightening thought… “What if I were to crash my car on purpose?” Or maybe you’re holding your newborn and for a split second you think… “What if I drop my baby right now?” Pretty scary that we are capable of thinking about harming ourselves or others. You don’t have actual intent to carry out any harm, but it’s absolutely terrifying that you even had a thought about it. Of course, if you do have a plan or intent to harm, we’re no longer talking about intrusive thoughts and it’s best that you seek out immediate help by calling 988 or 911. Those are not the only types of intrusive thoughts though. Have you been hit with this kind of thought… “What if I’m gay and have been lying to myself for my whole life?” Or you’ve caught yourself wondering if you’re a bad person because you’ve broken some kind of rule strictly enforced by your religion. If you can’t relate to those examples, have you ever had the thought “What if I have cancer or some other life-threatening illness that is going undetected by my doctor?” Again, thoughts that pop up out of thin air about serious topics like sexuality, religion, or health can be tormenting to have for certain folks. The most common type of intrusive thoughts are those surrounding self doubt and potential mistakes. Thoughts like “What if I’m not actually good at my job and I’m just fooling everyone?” Or “What if I left the coffee pot on?” Or “What if I forget how to breathe?” Or “What if I do or say something inappropriate that embarrasses me?” We could go on and on with these. What Are Intrusive Thoughts and Why Do We Have Them? As humans, our mind is what sets us apart from other species, but sometimes our ability to think and overthink is more of a detriment than a gift. Researchers have estimated that we think between 60,000-70,000 thoughts a day!! That’s a lot to manage. Any one of those could be an intrusive torpedo that sends you spiraling in fear, so you have to learn to identify them. Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, repetitive thoughts, images, or urges that can cause anxiety or distress. These thoughts are a common experience and most people have had at least a few throughout their lives. Although, the most reported types surround violence, harm, health, religion, sexuality or sexual acts, and self doubt that does not mean there aren’t other categories of intrusive thoughts. There is not always a clear cause for intrusive thoughts. Some just happen at random and others may be triggered by the circumstances a person finds themselves in. For many people, intrusive thoughts are nothing to be concerned about. They are infrequent and exit the mind just as quickly as they entered. But this is NOT how it goes for everyone! If you are a person that experiences intrusive thoughts very regularly, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder, like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), substance use disorders, or eating disorders. Those with other issues like dementia, Parkinson’s Disease, and traumatic brain injuries may also experience recurring intrusive thoughts. When intrusive thoughts become more excessive and persistent, they can be extremely worrisome and debilitating. Given the nature of the thought, some people are flooded with fear, guilt and shame; so much so that they enter an impossible war within themselves to try to control and stop the thoughts only to find that this just makes them worse. So what can you do to free yourself from the mental madness? Strategies For Coping With Intrusive Thoughts Firstly, remember that thoughts are not facts. We are all capable of having thoughts that DO NOT have any deeper meaning at all. Having a thought does not mean we’ll act on it. A thought doesn’t necessarily reflect or mean anything about who we are as people either. In fact, many intrusive thoughts depict the exact opposite of our true beliefs and values and that is what makes them so scary. You do not want to go down a rabbit hole with an intrusive thought, so here’s what you do instead: Step 1: Acknowledge The Thought It’s natural to want to push the thought away - to suppress it or ignore it - but this is almost guaranteed to make it louder in your mind. Your resistance acts like fuel on a fire. You have to acknowledge it if you want to move past the thought. A good indicator to help you identify and acknowledge an intrusive thought is the preface “What if…” This is often how an intrusive thought begins. When you notice one, simply say to yourself “That was an intrusive thought” and move on to step 2. Step 2: Practice Mindfulness This is the practice of being present in the moment without judgment. Intrusive thoughts can easily send you into the abyss of your mind if you engage and try to find the deeper meaning of the thought. This will most definitely make your anxiety 1000% more intense. Instead, focus on grounding yourself in the present moment. You can do this by bringing your attention to your breath with a breathing exercise, or by gently patting yourself down to bring your focus to the body and away from the mind. You can also bring awareness to your surroundings by listing what you can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel as a way to ground yourself. If the intrusive thought persists despite your mindfulness efforts, move on to step 3. Step 3: Practice Cognitive Defusion This is similar to mindfulness, but is essentially a fancy term for distancing yourself from your thought process. It allows you to become more objectively aware of your thinking without getting caught up or clinging to any particular thought. There are many different strategies that you can use to create distance from your intrusive thoughts, but here are a couple fan favorites that you can use just about anywhere that an intrusive thought may come up. Imagine your thought is a pop-up on your computer screen. While it may be alarming and catch you off guard, you can simply acknowledge it as a pop-up and close it out much like you would on your laptop or phone. Imagine a river running through your mind. Place each intrusive thought on a leaf and send it down the river. Observe it as it gets further away until it disappears completely. If you struggle with visualizations, then try this one. After you identify and acknowledge the intrusive thought, simply thank your brain for bringing it up and give yourself permission to move on. Sometimes the brain pulls up our fears as a way to help us avoid potential hurt or harm. Even though this approach causes more distress, we can express gratitude for the brain’s efforts and let it go. Conclusion Intrusive thoughts are no walk in the park! They happen to us all as a part of our human experience, but we can learn to live with them differently. We are capable of dispelling and overcoming certain fears. If you are someone that experiences intrusive thoughts often and have a hard time coping on your own, seek out professional support and guidance with an expert therapist. You don’t have to take them on by yourself in fear of how you might be viewed if others knew the contents of your thoughts. Nicole Ambrose, LCSW specializes in anxiety treatment and can provide you with a nonjudgmental space to unload and weed through your thoughts. There are several methods of therapy that can benefit you - things like Exposure Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Nicole can help you develop strategies to address your symptoms as well as improve your quality of life. Call us on 954-391-5305 for a complimentary consultation today!

When it comes to relationships, proactivity is the name of the game. This means that instead of waiting for something to go wrong, you should be proactive and take steps to prevent any unnecessary issues from arising. When it comes to communication, being proactive will help ensure that both parties are heard and respected. Here are a few tips on how to communicate proactively in your relationship. 1. Establish Clear Boundaries The first step in communicating proactively is establishing clear boundaries. This means taking the time to talk openly about topics like expectations, needs, feelings, and values with your partner. It's important that both parties feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or criticism. Having clear boundaries allows you to better understand each other’s views and opinions which can help avoid miscommunication and conflict down the line. 2. Listen Actively Active listening involves being present and engaged when your partner is speaking or has something to share. Listening actively means setting aside all distractions (phones, computers, etc.) and really paying attention to what your partner is saying without interrupting or offering advice unless asked for it directly. It's also important that you provide feedback by repeating back what you have heard so that your partner knows you have been listening carefully. Doing this shows respect for the speaker and helps foster an atmosphere of understanding between both parties. 3. Ask Questions & Encourage Open Dialogue Asking questions is an important part of being proactive because it allows you to gain a deeper understanding of your partner's point of view before jumping into a reaction or response. By doing this, you're encouraging open dialogue which helps create more meaningful conversations with each other as well as mutual understanding between both partners. It also prevents assumptions from entering into conversations which can lead to misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the line if left unchecked. Communication is key in any healthy relationship so it’s important that couples learn how to communicate proactively rather than reactively in order to avoid unnecessary conflict and misunderstanding among them. Taking the time to establish clear boundaries, actively listen when one another speaks, ask questions and encourage open dialogue will help create an environment where both partners feel respected and heard while fostering mutual understanding between them as well. Ultimately this leads to more positive relationships with less drama! So next time there’s a disagreement between you two, take a step back from reacting instinctively and utilize these tips instead! Good luck! If you’re in need of additional support with couples counseling or relationship coaching, contact me at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation. I provide counseling for adults and couples at our beautiful Fort Lauderdale office and through online counseling via our secure telehealth platform.

We're honored that Bayview Therapy was featured on FreshPractice, a website offering therapy office design inspiration for therapists in private practice! Our chic, yet casually sophisticated psychology and counseling group practice provides the perfect place for healing, transformation, and empowerment. In January of 2019, we expanded our offices and moved into our brand new office in east Fort Lauderdale, Florida less than a ¼ mile from the beautiful Atlantic Ocean. Here’s an excerpt from the interview with founder, Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT: Our Bayview Therapy brand and interior design elements incorporate the calming, soothing, and awe inspiring colors of our south Florida natural landscape and proximity to the beautiful aqua, turquoise, and deep blue Atlantic Ocean. I want our office to feel like you are going to a spa on the beach and that all the stress you came in with could start to wash away like a large calming wave washing over your body creating a sense of relief, renewal, and restoration. In the featured post, you’ll discover the inspiration for our office buildout, design elements, and custom curated artwork found in our “chic, yet casually sophisticated” offices. Dr. Kate also shares design tips for therapists building and/or designing their own spaces. The article shows pictures of our luxurious 2100 square foot office. If you want a video tour, watch this quick video. Bayview Therapy a Fort Lauderdale, Florida counseling and psychology group practice was founded by Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT in 2011. Our practice quickly became one of the most trusted names in her community for effective counseling and consulting services. Our team has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and families to achieve their goals and is currently accepting new clients. Visit our website for more information about our team or call 954-391-5305 to connect with your therapist today!