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Everybody wants peace. But peace seems so far away, so unobtainable when you're struggling with anxiety. You wonder if you'll ever experience it again. When we have anxiety, we realize just how precious inner peace is. We just want the suffering to end. The truth is, peace is always with us. It is the core of our being. It is the essence of who we are. It just gets covered up with feelings of fear, anger, and sadness. It's like knowing that the sun is there, but we can't see it, feel it, or experience it because dark clouds are covering it up. It is not until the clouds are gone that we can experience the beauty and light of the sun. We want to walk from the darkness of anxiety into the light of peace. What Causes Anxiety? Most people believe that it is something outside of themselves that is causing their anxiety. It is not the person, place, situation, or thing that is causing your anxiety. It is your thoughts about the person, place, situation, or thing that is causing the anxiety. This awareness is critical in beginning to transition from anxiety to peace. At any given moment, we can choose how we see, process, or think about what we are experiencing in our lives. For example, you are scheduled to give a presentation at work. Thoughts of "what if I can't answer all of their questions, what if I forget important points or details, suppose they won't like it..." And the mind keeps going creating one fearful, worrisome thought after another. Is it any wonder we're feeling anxious? Especially, when these thoughts are a constant barrage throughout the day. Here are my tips for how to go from anxiety to peace: We Can Change Our Thoughts We want to learn to change these anxiety-producing thoughts to thoughts that will contribute to inner peace. Such as, "I have prepared the best I can for this presentation. That's all I can do. I'll do the best I can. If they like it, great. If they don't, there is nothing I can do about that. But I do know that I will be ok regardless of what happens." You can feel the difference between the two thoughts immediately. Our feelings are directly related to our thoughts. Stop Feeding The Anxiety Every time we choose to entertain or get involved with anxious thoughts, we strengthen the anxiety. In other words, the more we feed it, the bigger it gets. Each time we choose not to get involved with it, it weakens it. It gets smaller. Stay Mindful Sometimes it seems like we don't have any control of the ongoing onslaught of one thought after another. Worse yet, most of these thoughts are worrisome or fearful thoughts. In addition to learning how to change your thoughts, you can also learn how to have a quiet mind. A quiet mind means no thought, no thought means no anxiety. If you have experienced a high degree of anxiety or even panic attacks, this would seem like the best thing that could happen to you. And it is. This is where true peace is found. This is where you experience the peace that is within you. Simply stated, thinking stops when we give our complete, 100% attention to the present moment. Thoughts can not come in when we do this. If you find yourself thinking then your attention has slipped off the present moment. When you become aware that you are thinking again, you have a choice. You can get involved with the thought again. The same thought that has led to the anxiety you have been tortured by. Or you can return your attention to the present moment. The thought pattern, or loop you have been stuck in begins to dissipate each time you choose to return your attention to the present moment instead of engaging in the anxiety-producing thought. Eventually, you will come to know that the present moment is your safe place, your refuge. What we are talking about here is Mindfulness. It has been around since ancient times. For whatever reason, more and more people are becoming aware of Mindfulness and making it a part of their lives. I strongly encourage you to read and learn about it and incorporate it into your daily life. Moment by moment, step by step, you will be going toward peace and away from anxiety. Exercise Regularly Let us not forget the tremendous value of exercise when it comes to dealing with anxiety. Cardiovascular exercise is one of the best things we can do to combat anxiety. Run, swim, bike, kickbox, etc. Get your heart rate elevated, breath hard, sweat, get your endorphins activated. Do this for a minimum of thirty minutes each day. The more you do the less anxiety you will feel. You don't have time? Get up earlier in the morning. I guarantee you that the time exercising will far outweigh any benefit of any extra sleep you would get. Vigorous exercise in the morning is a great way to start your day and that good feeling will help you face and cope with your daily challenges. Nutrition to Calm Your Mind & Body Your body and mind are already overstimulated from anxiety. You don't want to add more stimulation to it with caffeine, sugar, and processed foods. Remember, the goal is to return to our natural state of being, which is peace. Give your body nutrients that will have a calming effect on your mind and body. Chamomile tea can have a very calming effect as can other herbal teas. Eat a variety of whole foods that include plenty of green vegetables. Eat at least three small meals per day with one or two healthy snacks. Just enough to get you to your next meal. This will keep your blood sugar steady and prevent mood swings. Eating in this way will keep you emotionally, mentally, and physically balanced. A Brief Word About Me I have been teaching and practicing these concepts and tools for many years. It's helpful and beneficial for you to have someone that fully understands the anxiety and how to get you through it. Someone who can keep you on your path to recovery. I can assure you that your life can, and will change when you begin taking the steps to change it. My genuine and sincere interest is in helping those who suffer from anxiety. I know what you are going through and how to help you return to the peaceful, joyous life you deserve. Please feel free to contact me at 954-391-5305 if you have questions or if you would like to schedule an appointment. For more information about my approach to counseling, click here. For more tips on how to manage your anxiety, click here. Here's to living an anxiety-free life!

The “inner critic” is the voice in your head that perpetuates fear and creates a barrier in your relationship with yourself and others. It’s the voice that tears you down when you look in the mirror, causes you to question the motives of others, even those closest to you, and stands in the way of your success and happiness. The inner critic is like an insatiable bully living within you that constantly holds you back or keeps you feeling stuck. It’s the voice that says “you’re ugly… no one likes you… you’re stupid… you’re not worthy of love… you’re incompetent and incapable… you’ll never be good enough.” So why would you ever want to befriend this part of yourself? Well, let’s think for a minute about where this voice came from. This is not something you were born with. No one is birthed thinking that they suck in every way and are destined to be a failure. Your inner critic develops over time, beginning with your earliest experiences in life. It’s fueled by all of the times you’ve encountered or witnessed negative and hurtful attitudes or reactions. Every day your mind absorbs information and files it away to use at a later time to influence your decision-making and actions. However, it’s not terribly good at assessing what information may actually hinder or hurt you in the long run. In fact, the intent is not to hurt you, but to protect you from being hurt in a counterintuitive sort of way. So with that known, you could make the claim that your inner critic is actually a defense system created to help you avoid harm. Whether you like it or not, it’s a part of you so it’s in your best interest to learn these steps. Step 1: Acknowledge and Accept Many self-help writers out there will encourage you to ignore your inner critic. Do whatever you can to distract from it or suppress it altogether. Here are the problems with these strategies. One, this is avoidance and does absolutely nothing to address the issue. Two, it doesn’t work. Try telling yourself to stop thinking about something and see how long it takes until you actually stop. Your attempts to avert certain thoughts will actually result in bringing more attention to them and keep you stuck in a self-defeating loop for longer. Don’t do that to yourself. Instead, acknowledge the thought as it is. Thoughts are not facts; they are simply thoughts. Your inner critic does not reflect the reality of a situation; it’s just a perspective that lives in your head. Accept that it’s there without putting it on a pedestal and giving it too much power. Step 2: Differentiate It’s hard to tell the difference between your true inner voice and the voice of your inner critic. This step is probably the most important. It allows you to separate the parts of yourself to provide opportunities for new perspectives and healthier dialogue within you. Start by giving your inner critic a name that’s different from your own. This will help you to compartmentalize critical and fear-based thoughts under a persona separate from you. To bring awareness to the dialogue occurring in your brain, take some time to write down your thoughts. When you come across a thought that belongs to your inner critic, write it as a “you” statement instead of using “I.” For example, instead of writing “I did a horrible job in that meeting today; everyone thinks I’m an idiot,” you’ll write “You did a horrible job in that meeting today, everyone thinks you’re an idiot.” This will help you to see these thought patterns as a different persona than your true self. The more awareness you gain from writing out the thoughts floating through your mind, the easier it will be to observe the inner dialogue at the moment. Eventually, you’ll be able to imagine yourself and your inner critic as two people having a conversation, and it’s at that point that your inner critic loses a lot of its power. Step 3: Empathize and Offer Compassion When responding to your inner critic, whether you are writing or verbalizing internally, do your best to come from a place of empathy and compassion. Don’t be a bully back, even if that seems like it would help. The idea is to develop a loving relationship with yourself, one similar to the kind of relationship you may have with a friend. Remember where your inner critic came from. It’s a part of you that has been hurt in the past and has built thick walls to protect and prevent you from being hurt by anyone or anything again. Offer yourself validation, understanding, and reassurance when you hear your inner critic speak out of fear. When your critic says “you’ll never be good enough,” consider that this part of you fears judgment and often feels like a failure. Respond by saying something like “I may struggle at times, but I know I’m doing my best. I define what it means to be enough and I accept myself as I am.” This may be difficult to do in the beginning. To be honest the negative thoughts may get more intense or louder; but by practicing these steps, you’ll ensure that you are making choices and taking action based on your true perspective and not that of your inner critic. For more tips and tricks like this, stay tuned to our Bayview Therapy wellness blog. You don’t have to fall victim to your maladaptive thought patterns. You can learn to team up with all parts of yourself and overcome barriers that stand in the way of your best life. Reach out today at 954-391-5305 and let me help you untangle and weed through the thoughts that are holding you back. For more information about my services, click here.

Does your child struggle in school with reading, spelling, and sounding out words? Have you noticed your child confusing letters that look alike or sound alike? Does your child read slow or have a hard time grasping what they’ve read? Perhaps you’ve noticed your child has trouble counting, performing calculations, or remembering math facts. Or maybe your child writes slowly, has poor grammar, or has difficulty expressing their thoughts and ideas in writing. Have you wondered if your child may have a learning disorder? A learning disorder (also referred to as a learning disability) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that often becomes evident during school-age years. Early signs may appear in preschool, but become pronounced in elementary school as the learning and academic demands increase. Difficulties include problems with learning in the areas of math, reading, and/or writing. While it’s not uncommon for children to struggle somewhat while learning, children with a learning disorder often have specific difficulties which persist throughout school. In addition, children with undiagnosed learning disorders may develop a sense of inadequacy and feel as though no matter how much effort they put forth, they still can’t grasp concepts and struggle to learn. This can lead to symptoms of anxiety, depression, or behavioral problems such as acting out in school or at home. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), an estimated 5 to 15 percent of school-aged children are diagnosed with a Specific Learning Disorder. The following DSM-5 criteria must be met to make a diagnosis of a Specific Learning Disorder: A. Difficulties learning and using academic skills, as indicated by the presence of at least one of the following symptoms that have persisted for at least 6 months. Inaccurate or slow and effortful word reading (e.g. - reads single words aloud incorrectly or slowly and hesitantly, frequently guesses words, has difficulty sounding out words). Difficulty understanding the meaning of what is read (e.g. - may read text accurately but not understand the sequence, relationships, inferences, or deeper meanings of what is read). Difficulties with spelling (e.g. - may add, omit, or substitute vowels or consonants). Difficulties with written expression (e.g. - makes multiple grammatical or punctuation errors within sentences; employs poor paragraph organization; written expression of ideas lacks clarity). Difficulties mastering number sense, number facts, or calculation (e.g. - has a poor understanding of numbers, their magnitude, and relationships; counts on fingers to add single-digit numbers instead of recalling the math fact as peers do; gets lost in the midst of arithmetic computation and may switch procedures) Difficulties with mathematical reasoning (e.g. - has severe difficulty applying mathematical concepts, facts, or procedures to solve quantitative problems). B. The affected academic skills are substantially and quantifiably below those expected for the individual’s chronological age and cause significant interference with academic or occupational performance, or with activities of daily living, as confirmed by individually administered standardized achievement measures and comprehensive clinical assessment. For individuals aged 17 years and older, a documented history of impairing learning difficulties may be substituted for the standardized assessment. C. The learning difficulties begin during school-age years but may not become fully manifest until the demands for those affected academic skills exceed the individual’s limited capacities (e.g. - as in timed tests, reading or writing lengthy complex reports for a tight deadline, excessively heavy academic loads). D. The learning difficulties are not better accounted for by intellectual disabilities, uncorrected visual or auditory acuity, other mental or neurological disorders, psychosocial adversity, lack of proficiency in the language of academic instruction, or inadequate educational instruction. Specific Learning Disorders can be diagnosed in three academic areas: Math (also referred to as Dyscalculia), Reading (also referred to as Dyslexia), and/or Written Expression (also referred to as Dysgraphia). Some children had problems in more than one area. So how do I know if my child has a learning disorder? As many issues can interfere with learning, a comprehensive psychoeducational or psychological evaluation can help a parent better understand their child’s learning style as well as obstacles to learning. For instance, children may simply have difficulties with focus, attention, hyperactivity, or organization of their work such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) which can make learning a challenge. Or children may have an undiagnosed Language Disorder that affects the way they express themselves in spoken or written language, or they may struggle to comprehend spoken or written language. In addition, there may be medical explanations for why your child has difficulty. Problems with vision can make it difficult to read and often treating the vision issues through corrective lenses or perhaps vision therapy can improve reading problems. Children can have 20/20 eyesight, yet still, have impaired vision. When this may be suspected, I will refer the family for a Developmental Vision Evaluation which is designed to assess all the visual functioning required for reading, writing, and learning and is very different from a routine eye exam. Similarly, undiagnosed auditory issues can also affect learning. If a child has subtle hearing loss or hearing problems, this can definitely interfere with education. In addition, auditory processing issues can make learning and communicating a challenge. Specifically, auditory processing difficulties may lead to a child misunderstanding due to not hearing words accurately or detecting the subtle nuances in sounds. Therefore, due to the many factors involved in learning, I believe a comprehensive evaluation can identify specific problems. As part of my evaluations, I take a thorough history with the parent(s) including consulting with teachers and reviewing academic records. In terms of testing, I assess language, intellectual functioning, general academic functioning, memory and learning, attention and concentration, auditory processing, visual processing, fine motor skills, as well as emotional functioning. When specific learning concerns are present, I also conduct more rigorous testing in the academic area whether it’s math, reading, or writing. This information can be incredibly helpful to pinpoint the specific issues making learning difficult for your child. Because learning disorders are brain-based learning differences, children will need extra help and instruction that is individualized to target their needs. This may involve working with tutors who are specialized to educate children with learning differences or working with a school to put accommodations and/or an individualized education plan in place. Regardless of the needs, understanding your child’s strengths and challenges and having resulted from an evaluation can ensure you get a plan in place to ensure your child can succeed in school. If you have concerns about your child’s learning, please do not hesitate to call me at (954) 391-5305 for a complimentary consultation. For more tips on common behavioral challenges your child may be struggling with such as ADHD, click here.

As the pandemic began and the orders to “shelter in place” were given, many of us had no idea our lives were going to drastically change. Many lost their jobs, worked from home, began home-schooling their children, and stopped seeing their family and friends. Many had become isolated in their homes for months and months on end. Sure, perhaps we had the weekly trip to the grocery store, but that had about summed up our interactions. Maybe for a time all you did was drive to work, return home and do it all over again the next day. This very abruptly became our “new normal” and we all adjusted the best we could. Fast forward to the stay-at-home orders being lifted, and our “normal” is changing once more. Naturally, this came with an array of emotions: some good and some bad. Ultimately, “normal” has become something very difficult for many of us in such an unprecedented time. Oftentimes, we really like to be in control. Scratch that, sometimes we need to be in control. Sometimes, if we lack control in our lives, stress and worry become unmanageable. The unknown often leads to unpleasant emotions such as anxiety and stress. Here are just a handful of things you may be thinking: “How will I readjust?” “I’ve become such an introvert and homebody, what if I don’t really want to go out anymore?” “I feel so awkward now and am so self-conscious.” “Should/will I/others be wearing a mask?” “Will this seriously affect my (insert concern: anxiety, depression, work performance, relationships, etc.)” In a time of uncertainty, knowledge is power. If what I am feeling is “real” and I am not alone, I am valid. When we are validated, we are in a much more ideal position to navigate and regulate our emotions. Have you ever heard of the “Fight or Flight” response? It is originally named for its ability to enable us to physically fight or run away when faced with danger. Adrenaline floods through the body in an attempt to prepare for battle. Only this time, the activation isn’t happening when you need it. It’s happening when you don’t want it! It’s happening in the food store, at work, among co-workers, friends, and family. And ultimately, sometimes it’s happening even when you’re alone. Activation of Sympathetic Nervous System Excess adrenaline and dopamine can lead to the following in your body: Increased heart rate Increasing breathing Sensation of dry mouth, breathlessness, or choking Tightness and/or heaviness in the chest and muscles Shaking Feeling overheated and/or lightheaded Blurry vision Butterflies and/or cramps in your stomach Nausea and/or the urge to go to the bathroom Decreased libido Inability to think clearly, rationalize and focus. The antidote to the activation of the nervous system listed above (sympathetic) is our parasympathetic nervous system. This is referred to as “rest and digest.” Deep breathing triggers this stabilization that releases feel-good neurotransmitters to help calm our nervous system. This can have immediate effects in lowering our heart rate, relaxing muscles, and thinking clearly. Here are a few tips for managing mental health when experiencing some of the above symptoms: Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness exercises such as scanning your body from head to toe for tension in your muscles and subsequently releasing the tension, visually observing your environment, or tuning in to the noises around you. (ie: Listening to the birds sing, looking at your pets, etc.) Mindfulness allows you to become present in a non-judgmental environment. Power of the breath: Intentional breath helps us to calm down. Focusing on our breath for as little as 3-5 minutes per day can make all the difference! Journaling: Finding an outlet for anxiety allows space for the worry to leave our minds and enter the page we are writing on. Allow your thoughts to flow freely onto paper without attempting to control them. Reaching out: Help is always available. Seek professional support. Contact a co-worker, friend, or family member. If you are experiencing any of these thoughts and symptoms, you do not have to go through it alone! If you are ready to reach out and get supported in re-adjusting to the “new norm” or want support in managing anxiety, stress, and overall emotional well-being, please give me a call today. I offer FREE consultations and can be reached at 954-391-5305. I provide counseling in Coral Springs and Fort Lauderdale as well as across the state of Florida with our secure online therapy platform. For more information about me and my approach to therapy, please visit my page here. I look forward to speaking with you! For more tips on how to cope with the mental health epidemic as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, click here.

Magnesium has been used in home remedies for a long time to treat just about everything. Ok, that’s a little bit of an exaggeration but it has been backed by science to be effective in the treatment of muscle aches and pains, issues with fatigue, migraines, anxiety, irritability, and apathy. Magnesium is a key mineral that aids in the health of our bones, nerves, and muscle functioning. It’s kind of a big deal in the body! Have you noticed that more and more people are suffering from anxiety and depression these days? Ever wonder why? Well, I certainly ponder this often and while there are several plausible explanations, one that I frequently consider is vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Magnesium is found in soil and plants; it’s an essential player in the structure of the chlorophyll molecule within plants that’s responsible for photosynthesis -- the plant’s process for producing its fuel. Over the last 50-60 years, scientists have reported a significant reduction in the amount of magnesium in our soil, fruits, and veggies, between a 25-80% decrease depending on the crop (Unknown, 2020). This is the result of industrial farming. The quality of the soil has been tampered with as well as the crops themselves to produce larger fruits and vegetables and higher yields of crops. In doing this, we are getting produce that does not have the same vitamin and mineral potency that it once had. And if that wasn’t enough, the process of refining many of the foods we eat, especially here in America, strips away pretty much all of the magnesium that’s left behind. According to the National Institutes of Health (2021), the recommended dietary allowance (RDA) of magnesium for adult males ranges from 410-420mg daily and the RDA for adult females ranges from 310-360mg daily. Pregnant females are recommended to intake between 320-400mg during pregnancy and lactation. A study in 2003 analyzed the intake of magnesium in the American diet and found that the average male was consuming 237-326mg of magnesium per day and the average non-pregnant female was consuming 177-237mg of magnesium per day (Ford, E. & Mokdad, A., 2003). Yikes!! That’s considerably lower than the RDA! With that in mind, it’s not surprising we’re experiencing problems in our bodies. We may not be giving it what it needs to function properly. The Relationship Between Magnesium Deficiency and Mental Health Let’s start by looking at how magnesium deficiency presents in the body. Some signs of low magnesium include “loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, weakness, tingling or numbness, muscle cramps or spasms, personality changes, and abnormal heart rhythms” (National Institutes of Health, 2021). Notice any similarities between these symptoms and those associated with anxiety and depression? As you already learned, magnesium aids in many of the processes occurring within the body, but specifically with our parasympathetic nervous system -- the system responsible for calming and relaxing us. The body uses magnesium to regulate neurotransmitters in the brain like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA that are necessary for combatting the effects of stress. Magnesium has become known as a “natural tranquilizer.” If you are a person that lives in a persistent state of stress, your body is running through its stock of magnesium at a rapid rate. When the stress response is stuck on overdrive we see a number of challenges in the body. One of which is an increase in inflammation which has been directly linked to increases in anxiety and depression. So is magnesium deficiency the primary cause of problems with mental health? Not necessarily. It’s only one of the essential nutrients we need to thrive. But is it worth considering as a potential contributor? I think so. Often we look at external factors that may be responsible for increases in anxiety and depression, but sometimes we need to look internally and learn to listen to the messages our bodies are sending us. Where To Go From Here I know it’s not fun dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, or depression. It sucks to put it lightly and can interfere tremendously with your life. But before you reach for the Xanax or Prozac, dive a little deeper into your health. What kinds of foods are you putting into your body? Are you getting proper nutrients? How frequently are you exercising? There may be other strategies to reduce certain symptoms that don’t require a pharmaceutical medication. My approach as a therapist is to treat mental health holistically. I’m not saying that there isn’t a necessary place for pharmaceutical intervention as this can be highly beneficial for some, but I think it’s imperative to consider the context of symptoms in relation to the whole person to avoid a one-size-fits-all procedure. I focus on the linkages between the mind, body, and spirit to support and achieve overall wellness. By seeking to understand the problem from different perspectives, we can implement more comprehensive interventions that allow you to live your life well. I’d love the opportunity to team up with you as you embark on your healing journey. Give me a call at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary consultation today! Resources Ford, E., & Mokdad, A. (2003, September). Dietary magnesium intake in a national sample of US adults. The Journal of nutrition. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2021, March 29). Office of Dietary Supplements - Magnesium. NIH Office of Dietary Supplements. Unknown. (2020, November 12). Magnesium and Diet: Magnesium Food Sources. Ancient Minerals.

As a mom, wife, and therapist, I know the importance of self-care in order to feel good about ourselves and keep our mental health a top priority. Now that we have opened a new location in Coral Springs, Florida, I am SUPER excited to share some of my go-to locations to reconnect with myself, my husband, and my family. If you’re looking for local places to unwind and relax with your partner and/or family, I highly recommend checking out a few of these spots located in Coral Springs, Parkland, Coconut Creek, and surrounding communities. Self-Care Locations for the Busy Mom As a busy mom, I like to enjoy a few self-care locations by myself. Plus, it is important, not only for our kids to see how we take care of ourselves, but also essential in relationships to have space to really miss each other. Mia’s Cake House in Deerfield Beach – is a great place to be creative while also having a sweet treat and it’s not a far drive from Coral Springs, Fl. They offer cupcake decorating classes for those who want to learn how to take their cupcakes from bleh to WOW! I love baking and decorating, but I don’t have all the necessary tools at home, plus no matter how many cakes decorating YouTube videos or shows I watch, it doesn’t come out the same. At Mia’s Cake House in Deerfield Beach, they walk you different types of designs and you even get to take the treats home. Not only is cupcake decorating fun, but research has shown that baking can improve your mood and have significant mental health benefits. So, it is a WIN/WIN. Now, you are probably thinking “well why don’t you take your kids with you?,” well simple … I don’t like sharing my food LOL. But if you are looking for a baking camp for your kids, they have options plus online courses to do at home! For times when I want to hang out with friends, I like to go to Naked Taco in the Promenade in Coconut Creek. They have REALLY good food, a nice atmosphere, and good drinks. The staff is super friendly and it’s a nice place to have fun without having to worry about the stress of work and life. We can all use the time to not have worried! My favorite menu item is their signature chicharrones paired with a strawberry basil margarita … it is SO DELICIOUS!! Another good resource to help improve your mental health is EXERCISE! Not my favorite activity, but we all know exercise is a great way to release endorphins, reduce stress, sleep better, and feel better about yourself. While I may not LOVE the thought of exercise, the benefits of engaging in physical activity outweigh how sweaty and gross I get LOL. That being said, Coral Springs has great options for all different types of exercise. For those who love more of an open concept type gym, there are plenty of options such as Planet Fitness, LA Fitness, and YouFit gyms. I personally love taking classes. It helps to keep me accountable plus I have no clue how to properly work out, so having an instructor there is extremely helpful. Back in my youthful days (LOL) I went to American Top Team, a great facility that has recently moved to a MUCH BIGGER location in Coconut Creek. They teach different types of martial arts, I personally engaged in Muay Thai for a few years, and they even offer aftercare and camps for little kids. If you are looking to let out some stress while releasing some endorphins American Top Team is a great place to sweat. PLUS, I met a great group of people that became really good friends afterward, so it is a great place to find adult friends. Great Date Night Locations for Couples Finding a great spot to reconnect and have fun with your partner can be hard to find. Luckily there are several great spots in Coral Springs that can make date night more exciting. One of my favorite things to do with my husband is escape rooms. It allows us to have time away with the kids, go out without having to worry about building conversation (which can be hard at times) plus interact and problem solve. Red Button Escape Rooms in Coral Springs is REALLY FUN! They have several different escape room options that you can do with your partner or potentially invite a group of other couples to partake in. I would start with “Alien Invasion” if you are new to escape rooms! Now, if you are looking to be a bit more adventurous, Axe Throwing Society in Pompano Beach is another great option to do with just your partner or a group of other couples. It helps to relieve a bit of stress by exerting some physical energy. Also if you REALLY fall in love with axe throwing, you can join their official league! If Axe Throwing isn’t your jam there are also “rage rooms”. I know it sounds a bit out there but being able to break a few things (that you don’t own) helps to alleviate stress. The best location is Wreck It Fort Laudy where their slogan is “Break Sh!t, Leave Happy!” … I mean, it is a great slogan. Both Axe Throwing Society and Wreck-It Fort Laudy is a great way to release some tension and have a good time with your partner. Plus it breaks the norm of regular date nights. Family-Friendly Fun Spots Having three kids that all have to be entertained seems like an impossible feat. Oftentimes it can be. Luckily, there are some great spots in Coral Springs and Parkland that everyone in the family can enjoy. One of my son’s personal favorite spots is Monster Mini Golf. It is an indoor mini-golf location in Coral Springs where the whole course is under UV light. Now, I haven’t been able to do the laser tag or bowling yet (we get pretty wiped out with the mini-golf), but those are great options for kids of any age. Now, my daughter is more of a foodie, like her mom, and she LOVES desserts. There happen to be two great places in the area that she likes to frequent. The first is called BeLove Creamery in Coconut Creek. The desserts are INCREDIBLE, but I have to warn you that a lot of other people know that too so it is very popular and busy. …. But the wait is SO WORTH it! She also likes Cherry Smash in Coral Springs, which is also extremely close to the office. It is a nice carnival-type atmosphere so it is fun to look around, but their desserts are really good. They have GIANT sundaes, but I personally prefer a classic chocolate milkshake. Now, if I want a specialty milkshake, I would stop at BrgrStop in Coconut Creek. They have the BEST specialty milkshakes. My personal favorite is Cocoa Krispies milkshake. They also have other old-school cereal milkshakes like Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Capt’n Crunch. If food was a love language it would definitely be my top preference! Prioritizing time to take care of your mental health, while also taking care of your personal relationships can be a hard task. Fortunately, in Coral Springs, Parkland, and Coconut Creek, FL there are a lot of options for you to choose from. All you have to do is make yourself a priority. That is the first step in good quality self-care. Then once you have that established you can start to integrate your romantic and family relationships into it as well. Having a good balance between all three is a great start to a good mental health routine. If you need additional help with making self-care a priority, I would be happy to help. Give me a call at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation so we can discuss your needs and goals. I offer counseling in Coral Springs, Fl and Fort Lauderdale, Fl. For more information about my approach or my services, click here.

“I’m at my wit’s end.” “I’m tapped out.” “I don’t know how much more I can take!” I’m sure you are no stranger to these statements. They’ve grown more and more familiar as we moved through 2020 and into 2021. It was and remains a time of great unrest and uncertainty, and the sense of despair and helplessness has become palpable. These feelings are nothing new. The fact is we (as people, as humans) face uncertainty daily. We feel anger and fear and are impacted by all kinds of stress and discomfort. We move through these emotions, sometimes destabilizing, experiences all the while expected to fulfill our roles and responsibilities. A salesperson smiles and greets customers warmly in the face of declining sales, a physician provides care and encouragement for a patient with a terminal illness, a parent remains loving and supportive of a teenager rebelling against them. We work through difficult situations that require more of our patience, concentration, and tolerance. And it is work. We feel drained and exhausted, emptied of our motivation and energy. Sociologist Arlie Hochschild coined the terms emotion work and emotional labor which refer to the efforts and strategies you use to manage your emotions to achieve a specific goal, personal and professional. Emotion work looks like the effort used by a parent to understand their child’s perspective, or of the adult children caring for their aging parents. Emotional labor is the energy and patience used by a delivery driver to manage the stress of rush hour traffic, or the surgeon maintaining intense focus and concentration while performing a life-altering surgical procedure. Every day, we move through the routine stresses and demands of our lives, all of which require us to use our personal resources. Like physical labor, the emotional labor of pursuing our goals in the face of trying circumstances requires exertion. And like physical exertion, we feel the effects on our bodies and our minds. Fatigue, agitation, poor concentration, anxiety are all common signs of our personal resources being drained. And like filling up our car with fuel, our personal resources also require refilling so we can keep moving. There is no shortage of information and tips on self-care. A quick search on our digital device provides a vast amount of material regarding the benefits of mindfulness of self-care. But if you are anything like me (like most people really), having this wealth of information typically does not lead to any meaningful change in how we care for ourselves. Awareness is necessary but not sufficient for change. What can be done? Developing achievable goals, seeking support, and capitalizing on small successes are all part of what makes effective change possible. And while these steps might seem obvious, it’s very common to struggle to put these ideas into action. Change doesn’t happen in the vacuum of our own heads, and working with a therapist is often a necessary (and helpful) part of the growth and change process. If you’d like to reach out to see how I can help you overcome burnout and fatigue, please give me a call at 954-391-5305. I am excited to explore how I can help you reach your goals. I offer sessions in Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs. For more information about self-care, or tips to recover from burnout, click here.

Is your independence extremely important? Do you feel that, once you start to get closer to the person you are dating, that you feel s/he is infringing on that independence? Perhaps you also find it difficult to depend on romantic partners. Additionally, you might find that intimacy is challenging for you. In this blog, I will help you make sense of this, as well as practical tools you could take today to sustain a mutually healthy and beneficial intimate relationship. Many of us experience commitment phobia because of the impact of childhood experiences and genetics. Specifically, when we are babies, we depend on our caregivers for the right kind of consistent attention to our needs. Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller write, in their groundbreaking book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, “If your parents were sensitive, available, and responsive, you should have a secure attachment style; if they were inconsistently responsive, you should develop an anxious attachment style; and if they were distant, rigid, and unresponsive, you should develop an avoidant attachment style” (pg. 9). They go on to write that other factors, such as genetics, also play critical roles in one’s development of their attachment style. Specifically, consider that there is a notable portion of us are simply born with a higher degree of emotional sensitivity, which can make it more challenging for caregivers to regularly help us calm down. Decades of research have revealed that about 50% of the population have a secure attachment style, while about 20% of us have an anxious attachment style and 25% of us have an avoidant attachment style. This blog is about this last category. While the research also informs us that the need to be in a close, intimate relationship is hardwired into our genes, for the 1 out of 4 of us who developed this avoidant attachment style, this need is very challenging to meet. The following quote can help elaborate on this reality: “All of these people [people with avoidant attachment style] feel a deep-rooted aloneness, even while in a relationship. Whereas people with a secure attachment style find it easy to accept their partners, flaws and all, to depend on them, and to believe that they’re special and unique – for avoidant people such a stance is a major life challenge. If you’re avoidant, you connect with romantic partners but always maintain some mental distance and an escape route. Feeling close and complete with someone else – the emotional equivalent of finding a home – is a condition that you find difficult to maintain” (Levine & Heller, 2010, p. 115). Here are some strategies you could start using today to stop pushing the kind of peaceful, joyful, and mutually rewarding intimate relationship you may want and of which the science tells us you (and all of us) need: Remind Yourself that You Need Intimacy, Even Though it Makes You Uncomfortable Try to regularly pause yourself from acting impulsively regarding thoughts of “s/he isn’t right for me.” The reason is that this voice inside you could be a deeply unconscious strategy designed to keep relationships at a distance, even though you may not actually want this. Ask yourself questions such as, “Are all those small imperfections I’m starting to notice really my attachment system’s way of making me step back? Remind yourself that the picture is skewed and that you need intimacy, despite your discomfort with it. If you thought s/he was great, to begin with, you have a lot to lose by pushing him or her away” (Levine & Heller, 2010, p. 127-128). Create a Relationship Gratitude List Regularly remind yourself that you are in an unfortunate habit of thinking negatively about your partner or date. This is simply a part of the avoidant attachment style. When you regularly notice, highlight, and list your partner’s actions and traits in which you value, it will help to replace this unhealthy, avoidant pattern. “Take time every evening to think back on the events of the day. List at least one way your partner contributed, even in a minor way, to your well-being, and why you’re grateful they’re in your life” (Levine & Heller, 2010, p. 129). I can help you better understand your relationship difficulties and replace them with much healthier patterns of thinking and behaving. I invite you to contact me at 954.391.5305 so we can discuss how I can help. I provide telehealth sessions through a HIPAA compliant video or phone session or see you in person at our Coral Springs, FL office. I (Jordan Zipkin, LMFT) look forward to speaking with you! For more information about commitment phobia causes and cures, click here.

In couples therapy, I am often helping my couples to re-spark the emotional, physical, and intimate connection in their relationship. Over time, relationships shift and routines are developed, they get “comfortable” and may even lose the passion, spontaneity, and lightheartedness that they once had. Life can get in the way, with work, cooking, cleaning, and parenting. It's a lot! One thing that I find a lot of my couples are neglecting is creating time for fun! More specifically, dating. Date nights are an essential part of keeping the spark alive in the relationship. It’s a chance to disconnect from the stress and hustle and bustle of everyday life and focus solely on having a good time, a new experience with your partner. Dr. Gary Chapman studied patterns within relationships focused on the wants and needs for couples that he coined into a concept called “The Five Languages of Love''. This concept was designed to help couples determine what their specific wants and needs are and how to help these needs be fulfilled. The love languages are as follows: 1 - Acts of Service 2 - Words Of Affirmation 3 - Physical Touch 4 - Gift Giving 5 - Quality Time Find out more about your specific love language by taking the Love Languages Quiz! Quality Time is a recurring love language I see present in relationships of all ages/stages. Whether or not it is your #1 love language, it is an essential one to prioritize. Quality time can look like many things from a grand romantic vacation to taking a nice sunset walk together. I am always encouraging my couples to prioritize more quality time, even giving them homework to plan more date nights! Fort Lauderdale, Florida is a pretty amazing place. It’s got everything from views, food, drinks, to beautiful beaches. There is ALWAYS something to do. As a huge advocate for quality time and date nights, I wanted to help make the choices easier by reviewing some of the best date spots in Fort Lauderdale. I've asked friends, couples, and colleagues to weigh in on their favorite suggestions to come up with the best date night options for you! Check out what we came up with! Shooters Waterfront - Located along the intercostal off of Oakland Park Blvd, it's got it all from beautiful views, tasty drinks, and amazing food. They have an awesome happy hour as well if you want to relax by the waterfront with your partner, watch the sunset, and share some delicious appetizers and drinks. Shooters are one of my favorite places to hang out, and it definitely fits the script for a romantic date night out! Heritage - I've been here myself recently and can not WAIT to go back. Located in Flagler Village, it's a chic little Italian restaurant that hits the spot! Nothing says quality time like enjoying good food with your loved one and this food truly was bliss. You can't go wrong with a food-focused date night at Heritage! The Spa at Auberge Beach - Schedule a spa day experience for you and your partner at the beautiful and relaxing spa at Auberge Beach in Fort Lauderdale. They have amazing amenities such as a salt suite, infrared sauna, open-air treatment rooms, and a private beach setup after your treatments. You could even make a date night out of it by getting dressed up and going to the restaurant on the property for a fresh locally sourced farm-to-table dining experience. They have a weekly happy hour outside with light bites. Make sure to sit fireside after dinner and enjoy live music on the weekends. Hugh Taylor Birch State Park - Not all dates have to be fancy! Taking a stroll through the park might seem a little cliche, but it's the perfect date spot to save a little money, get a little active, and see some amazing views. You can bike, rollerblade/skate, or walk through the park. They even offer kayaks and guided tours if that's more your speed. You'll most likely work up an appetite. Luckily it has a built-in eatery, Park and Ocean, that has tasty food, live music, and craft drinks overlooking the beach. I highly recommend spending a day-date at Hugh Taylor! Sistrunk Marketplace and Brewery - I love it here! This is such a fun, casual date spot. It's a food hall with a built-in brewery. There are SO many food options, something for everyone. They often have live music and the vibe is just on-point. This place is just all-around fun. Chops + Hops Axe Throwing Lodge - I haven't had the pleasure of attending this place myself yet, but I have heard rave reviews from many of my clients that this is a fun spot and perfect for something a little different than your average dinner-date night. I love the idea of trying new things and quality time is all about creating experiences together, and what's more of an experience than… throwing axes? There's nothing like a little friendly competition to keep the spark alive. Wine Garden - Now this place is ROMANTIC! If you go at night, the draped string lights, music, and amazing wine/food selection will certainly set the mood. Plus it's walking distance from the beach if you're craving a little ocean breeze after! Everyone deserves a little romance, and this is the spot! Louie Bossi's Ristorante Bar Pizzeria - A classic Italian restaurant located on the famous Las Olas Blvd, Louie Bossi is one of my favorite restaurants in Fort Lauderdale. It has an amazing vibe inside and an awesome outdoor back patio for those of you who prefer the fresh air. It has the best food and wine selection for a perfect romantic dinner out. Because it's so popular, it is really hard to get a reservation, so book for you and your partner early! Riverfront Gondola Tours - I wanted to include something unique in this list, special to Fort Lauderdale. It's not everywhere you can take a gondola out on the water for date night, but you can here! This company provides various options from standard gondola rides to dinner cruise options. I don't know about you, but cruising on the intercoastal in a gondola gives me some Venetian, movie-level romance vibes. Someone try this and give me your review! Takato - Recommended by various couples as one of their favorite spots for date night. Takato is a Japanese-Korean Fusion restaurant on Fort Lauderdale beach inside The Conrad. Dinner on the beach? Yes, please. Not to mention you can take a romantic walk along the beach after, what can be better for quality time than that! I hope you have as much fun trying these places as I have! Happy dating! If you and your partner can benefit from working on your own relationship and connection or are interested in learning more about couples therapy in our Fort Lauderdale or Coral Springs offices, call today at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation or visit Jamie Ratowski at Brightside Therapy Services. I look forward to speaking with you!

The practice of gratitude and forgiveness are interrelated concepts that often get separated as if they exist independently of one another. I have found, time and time again, in the course of my life and in the work I do with my clients, that these two concepts are essential and necessary to living a life that is fierce, wholehearted, and purposeful. The practice of gratitude and forgiveness are at the center of a non-contentious heart. And they are just that, they are practices. We cannot artificially or forcefully forgive, nor can we be passive when it comes to practicing gratitude. Forgiveness is not something that you choose once- it’s something you choose constantly; it is a daily and deliberate choice. I have found that a grateful heart is often a forgiving one, and in the same way, forgiveness can awaken our sense of gratitude; they are reciprocal and reinforcing. A contentious heart is one that harbors anger, resentment, jealousy, fear, hate, and negativity. A non-contentious heart is one that breeds compassion, understanding, courage, perseverance, and true joy for others. Those with a non-contentious heart are not free from suffering, but they have a different relationship with their pain; they choose to not be defined by it. Both gratitude and forgiveness help to make this possible. Below I will describe some of the benefits of these practices. (There are many more, of course!) You will notice that some of the benefits overlap, and that is due to the fact that gratitude and forgiveness often go hand in hand. I will then give some pointers on how to begin implementing these practices into your daily life. The Benefits of Forgiveness It helps us to stop dwelling: Dwelling is costly and exhausting! It keeps us stuck in our negative emotions, which only perpetuates more of what we don’t want. It strengthens our relationships (with ourselves and others): Forgiveness creates room for possibility. When we don’t forgive, we close doors that have the potential to enrich our lives. Forgiveness shifts our energy and focuses on what really matters: Through forgiveness, we gain clarity, we take the energy invested in holding a grudge and can place it into rebuilding, into compassion, into understanding. Helps us to respond rather than react: Not forgiving keeps us connected to pain and negative emotions. When we are in this place, we tend to not respond with thoughtfulness or courage; we react out of a place of hurt and fear. This is so limiting, and there is so much more to life than that. Allows us to experience empathy: An entire blog series could be devoted to empathy, but I will briefly say this, forgiving people are also empathic ones. Empathy is what makes forgiveness possible. The Benefits of Gratitude Helps to re-energize our faith in life: When we stay focused on what we don’t have, or what we are lacking, we pour our precious life energy down the drain. Gratitude helps us to re-energize and focus on the multitude of blessings that surround us. Takes us out of self-absorption: When we are not actively practicing gratitude, it’s easy to lose sight of how we impact others. Practicing gratitude allows us to step into a more empathic relationship with the people around us. Helps us to respond rather than react: When we are in a place of gratitude, we tend to have more thoughtful responses, as opposed to emotional-based reactions. Gratitude helps us to respond with thoughtfulness and courage as opposed to fear. Allows us to make room for what really matters: Gratitude frees us from focusing on the small stressors in life. When we aren’t in a grateful mindset, small stressors feel like avalanches. A truly grateful heart is not shaken by these things, but is able to handle them and respond to them. Here are 4 pointers on how to begin living more intentionally, with gratitude at your center: It starts with awareness. Remember, this isn’t a race, there is no finish line. Begin with noticing your inner dialogue, check in with yourself throughout the day. Are the messages you are feeding yourself negatively? If they are, interrupt them by shifting your focus to something you feel truly grateful for. This can be extremely powerful. If you notice your inner dialogue and it is positive, pay attention to how it makes you feel. Allow yourself to stay in that place for an extra few seconds. How is this different than the times you feed yourself negative messages? Set an alarm. A great idea a client of mine had recently was to set an alarm on her iPhone that reminds her to re-center. She sets this alarm to go off during her morning routine. I love this idea and you can incorporate it in so many ways. It could be an alarm in the morning, or multiple times throughout the day, that literally interrupts the daily grind and forces you to focus for a minute on gratitude. The alarm itself could be a reminder, or you can set your reminder with a specific message. This can be extremely grounding, and can really help to shift your perspective. Re-Engage in practices that make you feel truly joyful! This can be cooking, exercising, writing, connecting with friends, etc. Be intentional and make time for this! Your heart needs it. When we fill our emotional cups we only have more to give others. Begin and end your day with a gratitude or forgiveness mantra. This can be an opportunity for prayer or meditation; whatever helps to realign you with what really matters. (This link has some great forgiveness and gratitude meditations: jackkornfield.com) Do this for five to ten minutes every morning and watch and see how these small shifts transform your day, and over time, your life! These practices are more than techniques or tactics, they are a way of being and knowing the world around us. When we are able to make this constant commitment to live in gratitude, we begin to radiate something magnificent. Call it positive energy, call it calmness, call it what you like- but gratitude and forgiveness are at the center of this contagious energy. I leave you with these words: “In our hardships, we discover the courage not to succumb, not to retreat, not to strike out in fear and anger. And by resting in a non-contentious heart we become a lamp, a medicine, a strong presence; we become the healing the world so dearly needs”. –Jack Kornfield If you're struggling to let go of the past and forgiveness, contact Alex Gard, LMFT located within the beautiful Bayview Therapeutic Services offices to schedule a session at 954.391.5305. Alex provides individual counseling for adults and teen counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

The holidays are intended to be a festive time where loved ones come together, but let's face it... the holidays can be stressful! The pressure to meet various expectations and obligations of family, friends, and work, not to mention decorating, can make you want to reach for an extra cup of eggnog or holiday cookie! As you prepare for the holiday season, remember you can shift your experience by making a few small changes. Here are 5 tips for stressing less this holiday season, while getting into the holiday spirit. Express Gratitude: What we focus on magnifies! This season, focus your attitude on gratitude. Research shows that thankfulness significantly reduces stress while cultivating joy, confidence, happiness, positivity, and optimism. During the holidays, take a few minutes to reflect on the positive things in your life. Find creative ways to express gratitude to others. The greatest gift you can give someone is to let them know how much you care and appreciate them. Be Realistic: People put a lot of unnecessary pressure on themselves when trying to have the "perfect" holiday. You don't have to be Martha Stewart when decorating your house this year. Make a conscious effort to keep things in perspective, create new memories, and most importantly have fun! Maintain Balance: Don't overcommit yourself. You have my full permission to say "Yes" when you want to and "No" when you need to. Look for ways to lighten your load by delegating tasks and sharing responsibilities. Balance, or lack thereof, can have a dramatic effect on your ability to enjoy the holidays. If you find yourself out of balance, slow down, breathe, and ask yourself what YOU need to do to take care of yourself. Be Kind to Yourself: Despite the holiday frenzy, seek peace and serenity to recharge your batteries. Remember the holidays are about giving, not just to others, but also to yourself. A little self-care goes a long way! Indulge yourself with a spa day, take a yoga class, enjoy a walk on the beach, chat with friends, or visit your place of worship. Remember the Reason for the Season: Whatever family, culture, or religious background you come from, it's important to remember the reason for the season. Whether you keep old traditions alive or start new ones this year, make them meaningful in your own way. Holidays can be the best of times or the worst of times, depending on your outlook and how you manage stress. If you need additional support while coping with stressors or want to enhance your relationships, call 954-391-5305 ext. 1 or visit www.BayviewTherapy.com. Dr. Kate provides anxiety treatment, stress management therapy, and individual counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Wishing you a Wonderful Holiday Season,

Have you ever been in a foul mood or a negative state of mind and had someone tell you to simply “change your perspective.” Rarely, if ever, while you’re drowning in that negative tunnel do you stop to take heed of such advice. However, think twice, as we really should… changing our perspective and practicing positive self-talk can drastically increase our moods and elevate happiness. Here's why you need to incorporate positive self-talk today. Our thoughts affect and dictate our actions. So theoretically if we were to change what goes on between our ears and re-wire our thoughts to a more positive point of view our actions, behaviors, and daily routines would change for the better. Practicing and adopting positive self-talk can help us set in motion events that will present us with greater rewards. Curiously enough we spend a lot of time immersed in our own thoughts. But some of these thoughts can be far more destructive than others. We tend to remember insults and painful exchanges much more than compliments received and praises given. In practicing positive self-talk we must first challenge that internal negative chatter and work towards erasing any insulting or scaring messages. It’s easier said than done. Making efforts to cultivate more positive self-talk takes work and in recognizing that, you’re already showing signs that you’re well on your way to peace of mind. Below are some helpful “how-to’s” that may not take place overnight, but can absolutely build a bridge to betterment in looking at things more optimistically and finding hope in any situation. Accentuate the positives and stop focusing on the negative. What you focus on magnifies! Observe how your chartered thoughts are making you feel, recognize when you’re on an emotional high, and map when you’re feeling particularly low. Harness those feelings to recreate what you like and discontinue what you don’t When you’re faced with a seemingly debilitating rut, shift your perspective and incorporate some positive affirmations to give you an extra boost. Positive self-talk is a known practice among optimists. You can be well on your way to a glass-half-full kind of vision… you’re already halfway there! For relationship support in individual therapy, marriage counseling, or couples therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, call Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT at 954-391-5305 ext. 1.