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When people think about having babies, they usually think in terms of what will be gained: a new baby who will carry on the family name and traditions, a source of pride and joy, and one's hopes and dreams. But as with gains, there are some very real losses. Our culture doesn't really acknowledge these losses, but most mothers experience them to some extent. We all have a picture of the idealized version of maternal love.  How can we provide this love to our new baby or child when we don’t feel like ourselves? Oftentimes, it is easy to operate on autopilot and just run through the motions of the day (feed the baby, bathe the baby, pack lunches for school, get the kids dressed, make dinner, be a taxi, etc). Life becomes a rut and you are unhappy.  With all the activities and responsibilities, we juggle as moms, how often do we truly examine our life? The answer to this is to rediscover parts of your self-identity that seem out of reach. I help moms through the self-discovery process so they can create a loving, fulfilled life. My hope is to get this started with you today. Taking time for yourself as a mom, especially for the purposes of self-awareness, is a choice that takes courage.  I know it is hard sometimes to reach deep within ourselves to find that COURAGE. I would like for you to say to yourself, “I have the courage!” As we explore your self-identity, First, I would like for us to have an open discussion on some of the losses you have experienced after having a baby.  Here are some losses that you have may haveexperienced: spontaneity, self-confidence, independence, control, predictability, security, money, sleep, physical shape, self-identity, couple time, career, time for herself, intimacy, the dream of being a perfect mother, and adult company. This process of understanding what you have given up will validate the feelings you have associated with each of these losses. Your feelings are not unusual. Many women experience these losses. Admitting these losses does not in a way make you less of a mother. Instead, it represents a shift in the equilibrium of your life events.  When we experience something new, different, and challenging, we have to make room for it in our life. Often, this accommodation is made by giving something up. Once you are able to acknowledge your losses, the next step is to grieve your losses. Take a minute and think about the “old you.” What was she like? Can you describe her on a typical day? What did she look like? What did she do? What do you miss about her? As you think about this former image of yourself, try to be aware of how it makes you feel. Does it make you feel sad when you think of how you used to be? Does it make you angry or scared? Confronting these feelings is an important step in the grief process, as you mourn for parts of your previous self. What do you do with these feelings? Most likely, you have tried to tuck them away, because you couldn’t bear to admit you felt them.  Let’s take a moment and write them down now. Let’s get them out on paper. Let’s welcome them. Let’s move beyond these losses and feelings and welcome some of the new and positive feelings in store for you. It takes so much more energy to stuff negative feelings inside than to confront them. Now that you have made room for some good, positive feelings. It’s time to have a date with your intuition. Let’s pretend you are on a first date and you are interviewing your potential partner, actually you are interviewing the depths of you, your soul. It’s time to take a deep dive into who you truly are. What are some questions you would ask yourself? Here are a few basic questions to get your wheels spinning. What is your greatest dream? What are your core values? What brings you joy and makes you come alive? What are your inner motivations? What are you most passionate about? What do you stand for? What would you like your legacy to be? What gives your life purpose and meaning? What are your strengths, your skills, and your talents? What are your standards? As you went through the list, did you feel you knew the answer to these questions with certainty and confidence? Could you articulate the answer quickly and with the truth? Most of you probably answered “NO!”  Now, you have the opportunity to check-in and find answers within you. You will be empowered to evaluate the “opportunities” you say YES to and the ones you say NO to.  You will be able to make more conscious and intentional choices in your life. A great way to remember your life principles, intentions, and core values are to create a personal manifesto.  A personal manifesto is a written declaration or statement of your ideals, values, views, and intentions. It’s your own personal creed or owner’s manual.  It provides you with inspiration, strength, and direction. It helps remind you of who you are and how your authentic Self operates. This is your self-identity! When you feel you don’t have the time or the energy to even breathe or maybe you are feeling sad and pessimistic, you can access your personal manifesto. Developing your manifesto may take some time, and you are worth the investment. I repeat that again you are WORTH THE TIME. While there’s no right or wrong way  about creating a manifesto, here are a few tips to get you started: 1. Read other manifestos. See what resonates with you and what doesn’t. Take notes of what comes up for you. It is important that your personal manifesto feels “yours” and it is crafted in a way that reflects YOU. 2. Write about each area of life that is important to you and then consolidate it all into one single manifesto. 3. Write it down with pen and paper. Revisit your draft a few times before you type it out. I recommend designing a display like you do with a vision board, so you can be an active participant in its creation. 4. Use language that is positive, inspiring, specific, and clear (free of ambiguity) to make your manifesto powerful.  For example, you may want to write “I will” versus “I want” and avoid words like “thing” and “something.” To make your manifesto compelling, use feeling words that evoke powerful feelings when you (or others) read it. I encourage you to take the time today to get started on your personal manifesto.  This is a living document that will guide you as you navigate through life. I can also help you take time to help you navigate through life. Call me Kacee at 954-391-5305. Resources: Kleiman, Karen R. (2013) This Isn’t What I Expected: Overcoming postpartum depression 2nd Ed. Lifelong Books

This is such a scary, uncertain, and overwhelming time in our lives. It all happened and is all continuing to happen, so quickly. To help us all through this immensely difficult time, I’ll post blogs that speak to what’s happening and what we can all do to successfully navigate it.  This is the first of these blogs. The presence of this virus in our lives is dramatic. For most of us, it has, to varying degrees, negatively impacted our finances, employment, social lives, and participation in various hobbies, as well as our physical and mental health. You may be feeling anxious, depressed, and at times, even helpless.  You may get stuck worrying about getting sick.  You may be prominently concerned about the welfare of your friends and family members.  You may continuously wonder when this will all end. With all of this going on, what can you do to start to get through this difficult crisis? 1. Actively Remind Yourself that We’re All in this Together Isolation from others, as well as feeling distant from others, can create and propel depression to worsening depths.  You need to know that none of us are alone in this experience. While you’re being instructed to physically distance yourself from others, you can still regularly connect with loved ones through the phone and video formats.  Doing so will help you protect yourself from worsened mental states and help a healthy one flourish in you. 2. Engage in Healthy Self-Care When you’re told you can’t live your normal life and partake in your everyday routine, it becomes harder to take good care of yourself.  A breakdown in how we adequately care for ourselves opens the door for worsened mental health. So, concentrate on eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and participating in healthy activities that provide you with rewarding feelings. 3. Put Limits on News Watching While you certainly want to stay informed of the situation, you don’t need to constantly watch the news about it.  When we continuously feed our minds with this kind of information, it’s much easier for us to experience mounting negative emotions, such as anxiety and panic.  So, give yourself a reasonable amount of time to watch and/or read the news each day or week.  Do your best to stick to this decision. 4. Use this Time as an Opportunity This last one might sound strange; try to go with me on this for just a moment.  Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn and master a new hobby or skill, such as becoming an incredible chef or reading those 5 books that have been sitting on your shelf for years, sporadically calling out to you to read them.  But, this whole time, it’s been very difficult to take any of this on, given you have all the responsibilities of everyday life. Now could be your chance to take on any number of endeavors that you couldn’t do before. There’s a popular meme going around that brings all of this together.  Your fathers and grandparents were called to war. You’re being called to sit on the couch.  What I’ve advocated here, and what I’ll continue to advocate, is essentially “sitting on your couch” in the healthiest, most productive, and optimal way. I can help you create a self-care routine during this trying time through a telehealth session through a HIPAA compliant video or phone session. Give me a call and we'll discuss how I can help. Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305.

It is even more imperative in these trying times that we mindfully care for ourselves and stay healthy. Practicing the following steps can help mitigate any stress and anxiety you are currently experiencing due to the coronavirus crisis. 1. Select the same time to wake up every day. This healthy habit will create a sense of consistency and help you maintain a structured routine. 2. Warm up to the day with 5-10 deep breaths. Deep inhale through your nose and slowly exhale through the mouth. Starting the day with a mindful moment will strengthen your ability to focus and connect to the present moment. 3. Review your “to-do list” for the day. Try to schedule your day based on your priorities (designate time frames to complete school work/tasks for work while also scheduling breaks throughout the day), remember to practice flexibility, and adjust your schedule as needed. 4. Nourish yourself with healthy foods + stay hydrated. Focus on eating foods high in vitamin C and vitamin D (your body needs vitamin D in order to absorb vitamin C). Also, aim to drink half your body weight in ounces of water in a day. 5. Spend at least 15-20 minutes outside to give your body sunlight and fresh air (while practicing social distance). Your body will absorb the most vitamin D early in the morning (7 am-9 am). 6. Connect with loved ones at least twice a day. FaceTime, phone call, or text message family members or friends. Social connectedness reduces feelings of loneliness and social isolation. It can also improve our quality of life, minimize the symptoms of depression, and can strengthen our immune system. 7. Self-reflect. Acknowledge how you’re feeling and give yourself permission to have those emotions as pushing them away or fighting them will only create internal friction. 8. Incorporate some sort of daily physical activity. Stretch, walk, yoga, etc. Moving your physical body can alleviate symptoms of anxiety, relieve stress, and helps you sleep better. 9. Get creative with at-home activities. Coloring or drawing, putting together a puzzle, relax with a cup of tea while watching your favorite movie, cleaning or organizing your living space, etc. 10. Practice 5-10 minutes of gratitude before you go to sleep. Taking time to reflect on what you are grateful for can boost your mood and your personal sense of well-being. Are you feeling unsettled and uneasy about the changes happening all around you? Remember you are not alone in any of this. If you’re feeling unsure of how to navigate and respond to these changes, please reach out! I’d love to work with you and support you during this time. Call today at 954 391 5305 to schedule a telehealth session via a HIPAA compliant phone or video platform. I look forward to meeting with you!

With the COVID-19 pandemic causing panic and challenging times for the population nationwide, we must learn to adapt to the necessary recommended changes. These are indeed challenging and scary times for us all. We have been hearing the phrase “social distancing” a lot, but not everyone is clear on what that means. A medical expert at Johns Hopkins Medical defines social distancing as “deliberately increasing the physical space between people to avoid spreading illness”. Simple enough, right? But wait, how does one practice social distancing when they are home on a self-imposed quarantine...with their significant other? Yikes! Some of you may be thinking, “this is great!” or even excited about the opportunity to spend more time with your loved one doing things you normally don’t have time for. Catching up on Netflix, dinners together, and partner workouts all seem very appealing. Sounds nice for the first few days, but what happens after a week? Two weeks? When you go stir-crazy, every little thing someone does tends to create frustration. “Stop chewing so loud, pick your stuff up, turn the TV down, stop SNORING!” As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I see people in all stages of relationships on a daily basis. If you’re not used to being together 24/7, this is going to be quite the learning curve. In order to learn, we sometimes need help. I want to help you avoid “driving each other crazy” during these equally crazy times. I have created a list of tips to help make the most of your time in insolation, keeping things healthy and calm vs crazy: SPACE: This is key. It may seem unrealistic, especially if you are stuck in a smaller house or apartment together, but it IS possible to create space. Space doesn't always have to mean a large physical distance, but more simply, a time and environment to focus on yourself. Go to a different room, sit outside in the sun, or take a safe, solitary walk. This space will help you to stay balanced with me-time and we-time and decrease the chances of “going crazy” with your significant other. ENTERTAINMENT: This one is all about fun! Take this time of isolation to reconnect with your partner on all things entertaining. Watching new TV shows and movies, playing board games, trying new recipes, exercising together, spicing things up in the bedroom..anything goes! I always preach to my couples in session on the importance of creating a strong foundation of fun and enjoyment to fall back on and help us tackle the hard times, so take advantage of this time to do just that. Another GREAT idea for entertainment is to do the Building Love Maps activity created by The Gottman Institute. This activity is a deck of cards that consists of open-ended questions intended to help couples “connect emotionally, and increase intimacy and understanding in a fun, gentle way.” PRODUCTIVITY: “Work from home” still includes the word work! Sometimes working from home is hard and staying productive seems like a reach. However, keeping yourself motivated and focused on accomplishing work, setting and achieving goals, and taking advantage of the time to do/finish projects can be a perfect way to stay sane with your partner and keep off each other's back! Stay busy, it will benefit you and your relationship. COMMUNICATION: Now more than ever is an important time to work on your communication skills with your significant other. It can be easy to fall into bad communication habits when we're feeling irritable. Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt (check out the dangers of these 4 unhealthy communication patterns) can all sneak their way into your communication without us even noticing. Stay focused on practicing healthy, respectful communication with each other in these difficult times to increase support and connection vs. distance and neglect. SELF-CARE: Don’t neglect YOU! We all have our unique routines, personalized regimens that keep us feeling like our best selves. Bubble baths, exercise, meal prepping, mediation, yoga..the list goes on and on. It’s no secret that you are the best partner you can be when you are feeling like your best self! By making it a priority to continue AS MUCH of your own self-care regimens as possible you are decreasing the chances of irritability, stir-crazy emotions, and conflict with your partner. Self-care for you is just as important for your partner and relationship. Go put that face mask on, read a book, play your favorite sport, it’s more important now than ever! If you and your partner are looking for extra support during this stressful time, call my office today at 954-391-5305 or visit my page Jamie Ratowski. I would be happy to speak with you about setting up a telehealth session via my HIPAA compliant phone or video conferencing platform. Stay safe and healthy, together!

Every day is getting more and more overwhelming as the COVID-19 pandemic is taking over our lives. Many people are sick and dying. People are losing their jobs. Schools are closed. Social distancing is required. And don’t forget there is no toilet paper. This time brings fear and uncertainty and for some a heightened sense of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and stress. You may be wondering: I need to talk to someone, but I can’t leave my house. How do I get help? Online counseling (telehealth) is the answer. What is Online Therapy, Online Counseling, or Telehealth? It's an amazing resource that allows therapists to provide therapy through a live, secure video connection via the internet, on your computer or phone in the comfort of your own home. If you have ever used Skype on your computer or FaceTime on your phone, then you have used the same type of technology that Telehealth uses. Online Therapy combines telecommunication technology to deliver professional and confidential services for client convenience. It is virtually a safe place through a screen. All Online Therapy technology is HIPAA compliant, which means that the client’s privacy is protected and counseling sessions are confidential. Other types of Online counseling could be email, phone, and text, which all should be encrypted by a HIPAA compliant platform. What are the benefits of Online Therapy aka Telehealth? ●   You can conveniently attend a counseling session in the comfort of your own home. This means no driving to and from an office; less wear and tear on your car, and no alternative transportation needed. ●      It reduces the overall cost and time of therapy. ●      You have the ability to expand your choice of the service provider. ●      Online therapists tend to have more availability, therefore this reduces the wait time for scheduling an appointment. ●      Because of Social Distancing, Online Counseling provides the safe distance required for these unprecedented times without leaving you feeling isolated and disconnected. What are the limitations of Online Counseling aka Telehealth? ●      There may be a time when technology might fail before or during the counseling session. ●      The therapist can not fully see you, your body language, or your non-verbals during the session. Therefore, the therapist may ask you more descriptive questions and ask you to describe feelings, thoughts, and actions more in detail. ●      A confidentiality breach could happen for various reasons, which is why we suggest using headphones and being in a quiet environment. ●      Technology may limit the therapist’s ability to hear and understand all of what you are saying. Therefore, the therapist may ask for you to repeat something or ask more clarifying questions. In closing, everyone is vulnerable to contracting COVID-19 aka the Coronavirus. It does not discriminate. No population is immune to it. It is important to recognize we are in this crisis together and you are not alone. For the time being, Online Therapy is a wonderful solution for your therapy needs. Our office is open for Online Counseling via computer or phone, so call Kacee Tannenbaum, LCSW located within the offices of Bayview Therapy at 954.391.5305 to set up a session. Talk to you soon!

Nobody was ready for a pandemic and I have to admit that adjusting to this new reality has been an adjustment for me. From learning new vocabulary words to incorporating new and more frequent hygienic practices, to seeing all of my clients online while homeschooling my kids. It has been a roller coaster of feelings and news as every day seems to bring new information about the status of COVID-19 in our world. My journey during this pandemic has brought my “talking the talk” mantra to a completely different level. Here are my insights about the three main components to staying grounded: 1. Mindfulness. This means that the mind is fully attending to what is happening in the moment, to what you are doing, and the space you are physically in during that moment.  Being present for your thoughts, feelings, sensations in your body, and the information you are feeding your mind is key right now. Paying attention to what’s going on inside you and around you will help determine if you need a break from the media, your family, or perhaps to even have a “virtual coffee” with a friend. It will help you regulate stress and anxiety while staying connected and grounded. 2. Radical acceptance. This means that you are acknowledging reality “as it is” without denying it, trying to change it, or detaching from it, but embracing it just as it is right now. It does not mean that you like it. It just means that “it is what it is” and you are willing to face the feelings that come with that reality. In this case, there are many emotions attached to the new reality. Fear of getting sick or spreading the Coronavirus, fear of financial struggle, losing your job, and stress about forced self-isolation. Allow yourself to be present for all of these fears and emotions while giving yourself permission also tapping into feelings of gratitude, humor, and joy. The emotions, just as waves, will come and go. 3. Hope. Brené Brown, a researcher, and professor says “hope is a function of struggle”, and talks about the value and power of adversity to grow our strength and courage. When we talk about hope, we are talking about setting realistic goals for the future and coming up with creative ways to achieve those goals. We also need to be more flexible to explore different options and paths, while developing alternative routes, staying persistent, and tolerating disappointment. We are all riding the waves of emotions that COVID-19 has brought with it. This is the time to believe in ourselves and knows that we can overcome hard things. As a community, we can stay strong together and help each other stay calm in the midst of so much uncertainty. Help and hope are always available! For more information about my online therapy or in-office therapy for children, teens, and adults, please contact me (Carolina Gaviria) at 954-391-5305. I will provide a FREE phone consultation! Online therapy services are available in English and Spanish.

We’re all experiencing the COVID-19 crisis. This current state of our world involves considerable stress, overwhelming changes, and overall disruption to our daily lives and routine. While we’re all waiting for things to resolve, and therefore for the day when we can return to normalcy again, the goal is for us to manage all of this to the best of our abilities.  So, we’ll use this time to look at several realistic ways you can start feeling better right away. 1. Reduce Your Overall Stress Level When we endure a crisis, our body responds with a stress response. Specifically, our bodies do such actions as release chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol, increase heart rate, and, overall, attempt to best prepare us to effectively react to a problem. While these kinds of stress responses are healthy in the short term in the right circumstances, they become unhealthy when we are constantly experiencing them. You want to try your best, then, to achieve a sense of peace and calm for even small portions of the day for at least a few days each week. Here are some ways to accomplish this: · Journal every day about any topic that interests you (preferably one that doesn’t stir up negative emotions). · Engage in any healthy endeavor that requires you to prominently focus on it, as doing so is one of the best ways to reduce stress, tension, and anxiety.  Some examples of this are doing yoga or reading a book. 2. Experience and Voice Your Feelings Many, if not most, of us, tend to regularly find ways to distract ourselves from, and therefore dampen and sometimes avoid negative feelings.  This is completely normal and understandable.  It isn’t exactly lovely, for instance, to experience sadness and anxiety. The problem here, though, is that when we don’t feel and voice our emotions, at least to some extent, we tend to get stuck in them more easily and in a more intense way. I encourage you, then, to take some time throughout each week to notice what you’re feeling, attempt to really experience it, and vent about it with someone with whom you trust and like.  When we voice our negative feelings, we tend to help reduce them. 3. Develop and Maintain a Routine Crises, such as the current one, try their best to ruin all structure and routine in our lives. Perhaps you used to go to the gym most days of the week; now, you can’t. I know how disheartening and unfortunate it feels to have some or many of the things you used to do yanked away from you. It doesn’t mean you can’t fight to maintain some degree of a daily routine and structure.  In fact, it’s crucial that you do so, as it is one of the fundamental ways to maintain a sense of peace and comfort during this time. Here are some ways to do so: · Schedule at least 1 rewarding activity a day that makes you feel happier and calmer, as well as proud of yourself. · Each day, at least 1-2x/day, remind yourself of the crucial importance of engaging in these activities consistently.  It’s easy for us to lose sight of healthy endeavors; by continually reminding yourself of the need to partake in these activities, you’re much more likely to follow through. I can help you feel significantly better in this stressful time through a telehealth session in our HIPAA compliant video platform or phone session. Give me a call and we'll discuss how I can help. Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305.

Frightening news and the drastic changes make it easy for any of us to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Given the current circumstances, you may be very understandably burdened with these feelings and experiences.  You don’t need to continue to endure them, though. I want to help us look at some practical ways to feel more in control, calmer, and more enthused. 1. Try to Stay Fact-Based and Reasonable Crises such as the current one test us in a variety of ways, one of which centers around our ability to stick with facts, as opposed to getting overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions that aren’t centered around evidence. When our emotions are intense, we’re much more vulnerable to catastrophize (to envision the worst possible result). The reality is, there is so much we don’t know about how this pandemic, and its impact on the world and each of us, will play out. Therefore, it’s unfair for us to jump to conclusions about this all ending in various worst-case scenarios. My recommendation, then, is to regularly remind yourself to look at what you do know about your reality and your prospective future.  This will help us feel more control, and therefore less overwhelmed and tired, throughout this experience. 2. Recognize and Remind Yourself that You Can and Will Get Through this When our emotions are profoundly negative, we often feel as though we’ll feel them forever. Essentially, what’s happening here is our emotions trick us because we know that we don’t stay stuck in the feelings forever. Countless research studies, as well as my own personal experience in helping hundreds of clients over the past decade, tells us that even the most troubled person can rebound from a devastating mental state. One way to remind yourself of your resiliency at a moment like this is to think back to a time when you overcome a considerably negative experience. Perhaps, for instance, you recall a breakup that left you flooded with all sorts of terrible feelings and thoughts, and instead of staying stuck in such a place for weeks or months, you decided to fight back to feel much better and live productively again. You succeeded. To succeed now, really close your eyes and remember, in as vivid detail as possible, how you experienced this past event and overcame it.  This can help foster your ability to do the same again now, as you will feel confident that you can call upon similar skills and resources to do it once more. 3. Bring Awareness and Limits to Your Daily Activities To stay safe during this pandemic, many of us are staying home and either working part-time or not at all.  Prior to the pandemic, a large portion of us had little time to engage in various activities outside of work, whereas now, many of us have almost too much time to partake in non-worked related endeavors. Too much of anything isn’t healthy for our sanity.  The ideal daily routine for us should involve as much balance as possible. The best way to achieve such a healthy balance of various activities is to bring attention to the process.  Here are a few tips on how to do so: Reflect on approximately how much time seems reasonable for you to engage in several healthy activities which bring you joy and fulfillment. Consider plans for how to best ensure you stick to these allotted times Hold yourself accountable for acting on them. To help, you could set an alarm in your phone to go off when you feel is appropriate to stop participating in any activity. I can help you feel much better in this overwhelming and exhausting crisis. Contact me today to discuss setting up an online therapy session through a HIPAA compliant video platform or phone session. Give me a call and we'll discuss how I can help... Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305.

The entire world is collectively experiencing trauma. We are all being affected by the coronavirus pandemic, either directly or indirectly, so it’s important to not dwell on what we can’t control, and try our best to see the positives that come along with this tragedy. The Silver Linings of the COVID-19 Pandemic In order to emotionally and mentally survive this pandemic, we need to look at the silver linings. Be mindful that your anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns could be heightened during this time. That’s why it’s so important to try to look at the positives and not dwell on the negativity and chaos. For some of us, the world is slowing down around us, so we can use this opportunity to create a mind shift on slowing down. I know it’s easier said than done, but there are things you can do to practice this that will help shift your frame of mind. A New Global Sense of Community Everyone in the entire world is impacted by this. We’re all in this together, so everyone is making this a priority to get to the other side of all this. In some ways, this pandemic has connected all of us in ways we didn’t expect. It has created a global sense of community that we never previously experienced. Not only are we all struggling together, but we can also all contribute to ending it. Your contribution to this is socially or physically distancing yourself from others. The more you stay home, the more you are helping our global community end a pandemic. Perhaps this has given you the opportunity to connect even more so with friends and family, both near and far, through various platforms (e.g., online, video, phone) and has provided you the time to make these social connections even more of a priority. Perhaps this priority for social connection will continue as we reach the other side of all this. Slowing Down From the Hustle and Bustle We are being forced to take pauses and slow down, and find comfort in that. We can’t escape this new norm of ambiguity, so we have to create a new structure to have sanity. It will take some time to figure out your new routine, but eventually, we’ll adapt to these new norms in our home and lifestyles. Finding some sense of normalcy, which could mean you have to be creative with figuring out a new routine, will help you adjust to this new way of life at this current time. Change the way you’re thinking about being forced to stay home. Instead of thinking that you’re stuck at home, think of it as more time to spend on self-care and more time with your family. You can learn a new skill, take on a new hobby. This can be an opportunity for enrichment and learning. You don’t have to be at this point yet. We are all struggling with this new way of living, with the trauma of all of this, and dealing with our anxieties and fears, but as this continues on, the new sense of chaos will subside. We can gently move in the direction of healing and growth. If you feel you are unable to do that, or if you feel too anxious or overwhelmed, you are not alone. Therapy can help you with whatever you’re feeling and help you feel connected to others. As you spend more time at home, remember that you are preventing others, including yourself, from getting sick. You are actively helping to stop the spread of the virus, and helping others who are essential workers stay safe, especially those in the healthcare industry and first responders who are risking their lives to help others. The Importance of Self-Care and Kindness This current way of life is still new, so we have to create the structure needed to find peace in all of this. We can’t continue in total chaos without our mental health being hurt, so it’s important to find a balance between chaos and order. You don’t have to be there yet, but it’s important to proactively move it in that direction. This can be done by knowing the importance of and practicing compassion and kindness towards others, ourselves, and the world around us. We can learn how to take care of others by first taking care of ourselves. Even during “normal” (non-pandemic) times, you can’t take care of others if you’re not taking care of yourself. This situation is empowering us to develop a strong internal sense of self-care. When we work on ourselves, even though we might not have intended to, it helps the outside world - it’s an inside-out reaction. We’re being less wasteful, there’s a reduced hustle and bustle, and it’s creating a space for self-care, which in turn is helping others and the environment. As a result of fewer outside distractions and commitments, we have the time and space to increase our self-care. Self-care can mean taking time to think about what makes you feel good and what’s important to you, then doing those things within healthy limits. Learning What’s Really Important As previously stated, self-care is taking the time to understand what’s important to you. We are now being forced to reevaluate our priorities and learn about what really matters. More and more, we are realizing the need to practice gratitude, and actively doing so will help with your mind shift. It’s important that we don’t take things for granted - things we once had access to and things we currently have. To help nudge this process along, ask yourself these questions: What did you take for granted in the past? What are you currently grateful for? What will you be grateful for? What are you in control of? What aren’t you able to control? What is really important to you? These will not only help you understand what matters most in life but will help you see that there is a silver lining to this pandemic. We are being given the opportunity to reflect on ourselves, our lives, and our relationships. Realizing There's More In Your Control If anything, this situation is giving us opportunities - it’s forcing us to be mindful, be present, and look at what IS, not what will be. We can’t predict the next tomorrow. Everything is changing rapidly and life is uncertain. We can only control our own thoughts and behaviors. You have the choice to control how much you expose yourself to the chaos and how much time you give to others. You can give time to people who are panicking or to people who make you feel better and who promote your self-worth. If you have control over your schedule, take the time to practice mindfulness skills. When you accept what you don’t have control over, you can focus more of your time and energy on what you can control. To mentally survive this situation, a situation where it feels like we are totally out of control, it’s important to: Practice focusing on what we actually have control over (our thoughts and behaviors). Accept the situation for what it is and accept that we can’t control everything. Actively practice gratitude for what we have. The more you do this, the more you’ll realize that you have control over your life. This will help you find internal peace and serenity, and be able to block out the chaos of the world around you. This will help you take in information and news, and accept it without letting it harm your mental well-being. Coping with Adversity and Tragedy Every time we face adversity, tragedy, or a challenge, it gives us the opportunity to grow and learn from it. The coronavirus pandemic is forcing us to learn a valuable skill about coping. It’s important that we look at the gains and opportunities, so when we come out of this we’re not defeated and broken down. This is all temporary. Think about when all of this subsides - AND IT WILL - what are we left with? Some of us have more time on our hands, and some of us are busier than before. If you don’t have the time to actively take on a new skill or hobby (like if you're still working or have children at home), you are still learning a new skill nonetheless. When you emerge from this, you can be proud that you did it! You coped and got through it! Finding ways to cope, discovering new ways to emotionally connect with others, learning how to take care of your mental health during a pandemic are all new skills. If this happens again in the future, we’ll all be more prepared to manage our mental health. But these skills don’t just have to be used for another pandemic. Whatever happens externally, we’ll have the ability to take care of our emotional and mental well-being. We’ll be better able to cope with other external factors and not let them have control over our mental well-being. You are learning how to rely on yourself and your own internal wisdom. You're Not Alone-Help is Available This is a challenging and frightening time. While all of us are connected in a new way and going through the same collective trauma, not everyone has the coping tools necessary for managing on their own. Whether you are in quarantine with other people, still going to work as an essential employee, or in isolation by yourself, it can be difficult to practice self-care and prioritize your mental health. If you need support, remote (video) therapy is a great way to learn how to cope with your current struggles and to find some sense of relief, comfort, self-empowerment, and serenity. Contact Dr. Heather Violante, Psy.D. today at 954.391.5305 or at her website to find out how we can help you improve your emotional wellness. #DrHeatherViolante #anxiety

So much has changed in our lives and there’s still uncertainty regarding aspects of our future.  For instance, when will this pandemic end?  When can we safely go back to our lives? While we wait on these answers, and therefore a return to some sense of normalcy, many of us are enduring significant anxiety.  Let’s take a look at some ways that therapy can help you manage this anxiety. 1. Feeling Heard and Supported When you’re struggling with mounting anxiety, it’s so challenging to live your best life.  When you have a therapist to listen closely to your stresses and difficulties, empathize with you, and help support you through it all, it reduces the intensity of your anxiety. 2. Eliminating Really Intense Symptoms It’s often very challenging to remove extremely unpleasant symptoms without a therapist’s help.  For instance, perhaps you are enduring obsessive, negative thoughts and worries that are impeding your ability to live a peaceful and happy life. Therapy can help you understand the causes of these severe difficulties, discover and practice healthy solutions to them, and ensure they are removed from your life. 3. Reframing this as an Opportunity Our brains tend to gravitate towards the negative, so it’s often easiest for us to view this current hardship as solely a damaging light.  A therapist can help you step outside of that perspective to see that now, you have much more time than ever to do all sorts of things you have always wanted to do. Previously, you had work and other constant demands of life (some too many of which are now on hold).  So, a therapist can help you practice seeing this as a chance to do many of these activities, and help you hold yourself accountable for participating in them. 4. Improving Your Patience and Self-Compassion Everyone has different strengths and areas of the desired improvement, so it makes sense that we all have different capacities to navigate this anxious time.  Therapy can help you notice how you’re treating yourself with regard to moving forward through this process, as well as improving your ability to be patient and kind towards yourself.  This, in turn, can facilitate the ease with which you continue to march forwards. 5. Increasing Your Ability to See Reality When we’re stuck in any type of crisis, we’re much more vulnerable to losing sight of reality; we become prone to forgetting evidence-based thinking, and instead, get lost and overwhelmed in emotional thoughts. Therapy can help you calm your intense emotions, which makes it much easier for you to notice and better concentrate on healthier, evidence-based thinking. For example, a therapist can help you first reduce the intensity of your emotions, and then reflect upon and highlight how you previously survived another immensely challenging time in your life. Through this process, you can better remember that you have the ability to conquer challenges, and you can do so again now. I can assist you in alleviating your anxiety throughout this stressful time in a telehealth session through a HIPAA compliant video or phone session. Give me a call and we'll discuss how I can help.  Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305.

Across the world, most countries are battling COVID-19 in part through social distancing.  While many health experts advise that this approach helps shield us from contracting this illness, it has led many of us to either develop loneliness or experience a worsened sense of loneliness than before this all began. Mindfulness Helps... Studies have demonstrated that when we use mindfulness skills such as acceptance and improved awareness of our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and experiences, we are more likely to enhance social connection and positive feelings we have towards ourselves, and thereby diminish loneliness.  Here are some practical ways to use mindfulness to decrease your experience of loneliness: 1. Be as Present as Possible in Social Interactions The quality of your social interactions are paramount to how good you feel.  When you are only partly focused and engaged in a social endeavor, the person/people with whom you are connecting can often notice it, and on some level, you notice it too. Focus your attention, then, on being as consistently present and engaged in your interpersonal endeavors, as this will reduce your feeling of loneliness and improve your sense of connection, love, and support. 2. Be Understanding to Your Feelings of Loneliness I’m working with many people who feel tremendous shame for not having more meaningful connections in their lives, now that they all could greatly benefit from such connections. This kind of shame and self-blame is profoundly limiting, though; it only serves to cause us more pain and the experience of being stuck at a time when we could all use more happiness and improvement. So, try to notice any such limiting shame and self-blame, and then let it go.  You could do this by acknowledging that everyone gets lonely, and many -- if not most -- people are currently feeling lonely.  Once you’ve better recognized and embraced your loneliness, it’s much easier to then combat other difficult and limiting aspects of your loneliness. 3. Recognize the Truth About Your Thoughts It’s easy for us to feel an intense emotion, such as loneliness, and believe this emotion defines us, and that we’ll feel it forever.  You want to acknowledge, though, that these beliefs aren’t true. Specifically, our thoughts aren’t always factual and we are defined by so much more than our current thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and experiences. When you’re mindful, you bring attention to your current thoughts and feelings.  You’re curious about them.  You start to distinguish between evidence-based facts and untrue statements your mind is trying to convince you to believe. When you notice your negative thinking state early on, it’s much easier to dispute it, and replace it with healthier thoughts and beliefs, and therefore similarly desirable emotions. 4. Hold Yourself Accountable for Your Own Joy and Social Satisfaction There’s so much that’s out of our control at a time like this.  One of the best things you can do is try to accept that, as well as to better recognize and engage in endeavors that you can control that make you feel less lonely, happier, and more socially connected to others. I recommend motivating yourself to find even small, and meaningful, ways to have fulfilling, satisfying social interactions, and then notice how good it feels each time you do so. I can help you significantly reduce your feelings of loneliness, and replace it with feelings of satisfaction, joy, and happiness through a telehealth session through a HIPAA compliant video or phone session. Give me a call and we'll discuss how I can help.  Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 954-391-5305 #anxiety #telehealth #onlinecounseling #mindfulness #Jordanzipkin

My work as a licensed marriage and family therapist affords me the opportunity to work with couples and families in all different stages of life, from preparing before the first baby arrives at navigating the murky waters of dating after divorce. Individuals who divorce often want to know how they should prepare to re-enter the dating scene, usually after at least a year of being married. It’s much different in the second round as divorced individuals bring a new set of concerns with them into dating, including an ex-spouse and sometimes children. Recently, Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT was featured by Reader’s Digest as a guest expert on “Don’t Date After Divorce - Without Doing These 11 Things First”. It’s a great outline and resource for individuals wanting a little more guidance around what next steps to take and how to take those steps. You may have heard the saying, “Get back on the horse” in reference to overcoming difficulties, whether it’s trying to resume a habit after a waylay (starting to workout again after vacation, anyone?) or moving ahead in the face of failure (finding employment after being fired, #toughbreak). Yet, I caution you to apply this philosophy, seemingly without thought, to all areas of your life, especially your love life. Think about how much you’ve changed as a person from when you first started dating, to getting married, and now being divorced. Probably a lot! Would the high school version of yourself, college, or even young adults recognize you? Reflecting on our past is deep and deliberate work; we may have made choices in our past for which we feel a sense of regret, shame, and guilt (for anyone whose marriage ended because of infidelity, this may resonate with you). Before beginning any new journey in life, reflection, deliberate planning, and forethought are essential to our growth as individuals. Sometimes, our painful past can lead up to a more fulfilling future, where we know who we are, what we want, and what we’re worth. Spending time alone before getting back out into the dating scene is a crucial first step to ensuring the success of your next relationship. The same goes for setting clear and strong boundaries with your new partner, your children, and your ex-spouse. Boundaries with your new partner and children will involve knowing your children and how they react to big changes in their lives. Take it slow… there’s no need to rush things. It’s important to have age-appropriate conversations with them, while still being honest about your relationship. Once you’ve been dating someone for a significant time and you’re confident that introducing them will bring a sense of consistency to your family, you can consider introducing them to your kids. No matter when you choose to dive back into the dating pool, you’ll want to do so safely and smartly. If you’re contemplating dating after divorce and looking for some guidance, Dr. Kate is just a phone call 954-391-5305 or click away from helping you. Dr. Kate provides pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and couples counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She also offers divorce counseling for those recovering from a divorce.