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Many people experience anxiety at various times in their lives. Some people are anxious but they are not aware that they are. They see it as a “normal” way of living. They may be talking fast, doing two or three things at once, speeding to the next place they are going, or constantly thinking about the next thing they need to do. They can go through their whole life like this and then wonder, where did their life go. They were never really present in each moment to enjoy it. For others, anxiety can be more than this... They can feel like they are having a heart attack, hyperventilating, feeling trapped in a room or within themselves. People with higher levels of anxiety often have difficulty sleeping and feeling anxious in the morning about having to face the day that is ahead of them. Regardless of where you fall on the worry - anxiety - panic attack spectrum, the good news is that anxiety is something that can be very manageable if we are willing to incorporate some helpful tools into our lives. As you are more intentional with your anxiety management strategies, you may find yourself on a new path that is centered on creating more inner peace and joy in your life along with less anxiety. Below are some helpful suggestions for “How to Manage General Anxiety So You Can Experience Greater Peace”. *Begin each day with a calm, peaceful, and quiet mind. Schedule 20 minutes each morning for this. This is your time to just allow your mind to be still, to be at peace. Carry that with you throughout the day taking 2 or 3 minutes whenever you can to return to that serene place. *Focus on your breath. This will be helpful when you are doing your morning session. You can also do this many times during the day to help keep you balanced mentally and emotionally. Give your full attention to air coming into the nostrils and exhaling through your mouth. Don’t rush this. Slow down and feel the sense of peace that comes with this practice. *Don’t react to the anxiety. Just observe it or notice it. It is common and natural for the mind to try and figure out what is happening when you are feeling anxious to make it go away. Most of the time this just adds more fuel to the anxiety and prolongs it. Anxiety needs thought to continue. Without thought it will eventually dissipate. *Be aware that your feelings are directly related to your thoughts. If we are wondering why you are feeling anxious we don’t need to look any further than our thoughts. Anxiety comes from worrying about things. Many times, people are not aware that they are doing that but if they look closely they will find thoughts such as, “what if…. “, “suppose…”, “what will we do if….” The more you entertain those types of thoughts the more anxious you will be. *Practice being at peace with the present moment. Look, listen. Keep your attention on what you see and what you hear. Don’t judge it, just notice it. Let go of anything that's not serving you. The present moment can be a refuge from the onslaught of thoughts that the mind will create when we get involved with it. When your attention is completely in the present moment you will become aware that your mind is quiet. A quiet mind is a peaceful mind. You deserve to experience more joy & peace, so let me help you get there… If you’re looking for additional strategies to better manage anxiety so you can experience greater joy, peace, and fulfillment in your life or relationships, contact me for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. I provide counseling at our serene counseling office in Coral Springs, Florida and online through our secure telehealth platform. I look forward to speaking with you!

As a maternal mental health counselor who specializes in working with moms, I hear a lot of moms expressing anxiety over the decision to expand their families from one to two children. Some of the common things I hear are that it can feel overwhelming to think of starting over again or being pregnant again. Maybe you had fertility challenges and the idea of going through more disappointment and loss can feel like too much. Maybe you finally made it through diapers, potty training, and sleep training, and the thought of doing it again is daunting. Maybe this wasn’t something you planned and you find yourself wondering how you’re going to make it work. Or, you may have older kids and feel a bit unprepared for adjusting to life with a baby. No matter where you are in your parenting journey, the transition from one to two kids can feel like a big undertaking. However, Like a lot of things, preparation and realistic expectations can really help buffer against the stress and anxiety of a major life transition, including the decision to have more kids. There is no doubt that adding another sibling to a family influences the dynamics and group demands. Things will undoubtedly change, but is there anything we can do to make this transition a bit smoother? After going through this myself, and counseling countless women who also navigated this transition, I can tell you that the answer is yes. Let’s talk about some ways to be proactive about making the transition from 1 to 2 a little bit easier. Be honest that things are going to change: Your family dynamics are going to change, and that’s okay! In a lot of ways, this change can be for the better. However, be honest with yourself that things will look different and be realistic about the adjustment. Anticipate bumps in the road, but remind yourself that you have wisdom that you didn’t have the first time around. Have a daily affirmation or mantra: After having my second daughter, I found myself repeating almost daily, “This is a season and it will pass”. Saying this to myself was calming, and reassuring, and gave me the confidence to navigate the hard moments and days. Knowing the words to tell yourself that is comforting, is necessary as you encounter the hard months of lack of sleep, and trying to meet the demands of two children, a household, a career, etc. Get on the same team: If you are doing this with a partner, now is the time to have conversations about ways you both need to be supported before, during, and after the new baby. It is also important to get on the same page on how you are going to continue supporting your older child (and/or pets) after the baby arrives. Divide tasks now and express the expectations you have from one another. Communication is key, and talking about this as you prepare can prevent arguments from happening down the road. Prepare the oldest: There are different ways to ensure that your oldest child feels part of this new transition and to make this experience a bit smoother for them too. Regardless of how old your first child is, you want to make sure that they feel prepared and excited too! There are so many awesome ways to do this depending on age. Click here for an awesome guide on this subject! Be strategic about big changes: If you are bringing home the baby in three months or less- delay any big changes if possible! This is not the time to move your toddler to a bed, start potty training, take away paci, etc. Make sure these big changes happen as far away from the baby coming home as possible, as this is a big enough adjustment in itself. Reflect on what worked the first time: Ask yourself what helped the most in navigating postpartum after your first baby. Be intentional about doing this from the very beginning. If you’re not sure much did, reflect on what you wish you had the first time around: I hear a lot of women say “I wish I knew this when I was two months postpartum…”. Some women wished they had asked for help, had outsourced tasks, had gone out more, and had voiced their needs more. Whatever you feel you didn’t express the first time, be vocal about that now. We know that women who feel supported are much less likely to struggle postpartum. Be intentional about setting up support systems: Two kids are no joke. Rally the troops. Lean on others for support. Be vocal about your needs, and remember that you still matter. The chaos will ensue, and it’s crazy beautiful. Also, remember to relish the good moments, they’re sprinkled in there, and they’re pretty amazing. From one imperfect mom to another, you got this! If you need additional support along your journey into parenthood or while you’re growing as a family, I’d be happy to help. Give me a call at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation to see how I can help. I provide counseling at our beautiful offices in Fort Lauderdale and Plantation (coming soon in the summer of 2022) as well as across the state of Florida through our secure telehealth platform.

I’m a big believer that in times of uncertainty, knowledge is power. If one can understand the “what, why, and how” of things, it helps us to step into our power and recognize we may have more control over the situation than we had previously thought. Knowledge when it comes to how the body responds to feelings of stress and anxiety can be so helpful in understanding what is happening, how to validate these feelings as real, and ultimately, how to regain control. Being able to name what is happening allows us to step out of blame and into understanding. When we are validated, we are in a much more ideal position to navigate and regulate our emotions. The Why and How: Have you ever heard of the “Fight or Flight” response? It is originally named for its ability to enable us to physically fight or run away when faced with danger. Adrenaline floods through your body in an attempt to prepare you for battle. Only this time, the activation isn’t happening when you need it. It’s happening when you don’t want it. It’s happening in the grocery store, at work, among co-workers, friends, family, and maybe even when you’re alone. The “What” of our Sympathetic Nervous System: Excess adrenaline and dopamine prompted by sympathetic nervous system activation can lead to the following in your body: Increased heart rate Increasing breathing Sensation of dry mouth, breathlessness or choking Tightness and/or heaviness in the chest and muscles Shaking Feeling overheated and/or lightheaded Blurry vision Butterflies and/or cramps in your stomach Nausea and/or the urge to go to the bathroom Decreased libido Inability to think clearly, rationalize and focus. Again, once having the ability to recognize and name the things that happen in the body, provides a much more ideal starting place in knowing how to look out for it, how to validate it, and how to recognize these responses as the body's way of looking out for itself. Sometimes we become very frustrated when we feel these sensations and feelings, however, I know for me personally - I try to ground myself in the knowledge that my body is designed to support and save me; to protect me from all threats of danger, and any of these responses my body responds with (in its most primitive form) are coming from a place of doing exactly what it was designed to do: to survive. Part of the work now is in stepping out of surviving and into thriving! I try to exercise gratitude to my mind and body for their attempts to support me, even though it is no longer what I need at this moment. I find that sharing inner gratitude begins to calm me down and center me on whatever the task at hand is and really supports getting me to a place where I can lean more into my rational mind. The scientific antidote to the activation of the nervous system listed above (sympathetic) is our parasympathetic nervous system. This is referred to as “rest and digest.” Deep breathing triggers this stabilization that releases “feel good” neurotransmitters to help calm our nervous system. This can have immediate effects in lowering our heart rate, relaxing muscles, and thinking clearly. Some tips to get into and stay in this “rest and digest” state are: Mindfulness meditation Intentional deep breath (breathing in through the nose for 4, holding for 7,4, and deeply exhaling through the mouth for 8 is a great way to bring your nervous system into a calm state) Going for a walk Spend time in nature Take on smaller, more manageable tasks Set boundaries with self or others if things feel too overwhelming (express your limits and hold yourself to them) Singing (this engages your vagal nerve which promotes stabilization and calm) Bringing yourself into the present by eating something sour (candy, lemons, etc.) or placing your hands in a bowl of ice water (engaging any senses will help ground you back into your rational mind) If you are looking to learn more about the mind/body connection and individualized tips to support you in getting grounded, I offer a complimentary consultation where we can discuss the possibility of working together. I invite you to call me at 954-391-5305 to discuss how I can help you attain greater peace, happiness, and fulfillment in life. For more information about me and my approach to therapy, please visit my page here. I provide counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida as well as online through our secure telehealth platform for those who reside in Florida. I look forward to working with you!

We are almost halfway through the summer, and I know many parents are struggling with keeping sane until school starts (me being one of them LOL). For parents who are home for the summer, it can feel very overwhelming to figure out what to do with the kids every day… day in and day out. For working parents, finding something for their kids to do while working, feels nearly impossible. No matter your family's make-up, summertime can create a sense of anxiety and increase the likelihood of parental burnout. While we love our kids to pieces, we don’t always enjoy the summertime. Finding ways to keep our kids entertained while trying to maintain our sanity can be a hard balance. Here are a few ways to help you create a memorable summer and keep your mental stability intact. Don’t over-commit: We tend to want better things for our kids than what we had growing up. We want to create better memories, better experiences, and overall, a better lifestyle. Problem is, that it creates this mentality that we must always be moving and progressing forward. Our kids need structure, but they also need time to be kids and to do nothing. So, it’s best to commit to a small number of activities that you and your kids can enjoy but won’t create too much stress on your plate. I know most parents like to structure different activities every day of the week, where they are required to travel, pack, plan, and pick up. While it feels like a good plan, it can become very overwhelming over time. It is best two reduce it down to 3 – 4 activities so you can have time to decompress, time to be flexible (if things need to change), and time for yourself. Another reason why it is important to not overcommit is for your kids to learn how to entertain themselves. Granted with toddlers and babies, this concept is harder to achieve so GODSPEED TO YOU. However, for older kids, it is important for them to learn how to be self-reliant and independent for entertainment. We don’t want to create an expectation and dependency on you to be their only source of entertainment because that is hard to upkeep. I feel like an old man on a stoop, but kids must learn how to adjust to boredom and allow their imagination to come through. It isn’t only beneficial for us (so we have time to relax) but also important for them as it helps with cognitive and emotional development. So, if you are dreading the “I’m bored” statement, try to find things that will help enhance their imagination without the need for you to be the source of entertainment. PRO TIP: Pinterest is a GREAT resource to find cheap activities for these types of moments. Schedule in time for yourself and your partner: Summer tends to be very focused on kids and family-oriented activities, however, you and your relationship still exist. If anything, this is one of the times where individual and couple time is needed to decompress and re-connect. So, if you are planning activities and trips for your family, make sure to also prioritize time for yourself and your partner. Find your support system: Do you have a family? Friends? Other parents? Find a support system that you can go to if needed. Need a person to vent to? Go to your support system! Need a date-night babysitter? Go to your support system. Whatever your need is, don’t be afraid to seek them out if needed. You don’t have to do summertime alone! Plus having other kids to play with, will make activities more enjoyable for your kids (not to mention having other adults interact with you). Summertime can be fun, but not without responsibilities and structure: Our kids want a few months of relaxation and enjoyment, which is great. However, that doesn’t mean that their overall responsibilities (aka chores) go out the window. Especially if they are going to be home more frequently and therefore have more time to make messes. Allow them to help you around the house. Especially since this is the best time to create that type of structure. If your child is in summer school or a summer program, responsibilities are especially important to keep them on track academically. Making sure that they have time to do homework is vital. If you want to continue to enhance your kids' learning, but they aren’t in summer school, invest in workbooks for them to complete throughout the summer. Schedule a time during the day dedicated to schoolwork. However, schoolwork shouldn’t be an all-day activity as kids do need mental breaks, which can vary by age and grade. Granted that sounds intense for kids, but it is important to insert rewards and fun! Allow your children to choose a reward (within reason) for helping around the house and/or completing schoolwork. Whether that is choosing a movie to watch, a video game to play or potentially a dessert to enjoy later. When kids are allowed to choose their reward, they are often more motivated to complete their chores/schoolwork. Create something to look forward to Having something to look forward to is a great way to create motivation during the summertime. Whether that is a trip before school starts, a fun project to do at home, or potentially a specific day of the week dedicated to a fun time. And by “fun time” I mean a day where anything can happen. You can stay home watching movies all day, hang out by the pool (because it is so freaking hot) or have a family-friendly competition. Our family is personally prone to game nights where we enjoy Mario Party, Mario Kart, and Monopoly (which I only now realize all start with the letter “M” LOL). Having something to look forward to also allows for a break between repetitive day-to-day activities. Make sure to also create things for yourself to look forward to. It can be something as small as a quick trip to Starbucks or time to get a massage (without the kids). It is also best to ask your kids for an activity (within reason) that they would like to do for the summer. If you have multiple kids, consider allowing each kid to choose a said activity that you would do with them on a 1 on 1 basis. That would allow each kid to look forward to dedicated time with you. BONUS TIP: Give your family a few weeks to get ready for school: Creating structure takes time, so give yourself time to start implementing a routine before school starts. I recommend starting a bedtime routine 2 weeks before school starts. It gives your kids time to get used to going to bed earlier, which helps them wind down not only physically but mentally as well. For elementary school kids, this would also be a great time to practice reading as a part of getting them ready to learn for the school time. A week before school is a great time to start a morning routine. Granted, no matter how prepared you are, mornings are always hectic, but getting the smaller kinks into place ahead of time can potentially reduce irritation when school starts. Summertime used to be a time we all enjoyed … back when we were kids. Now as parents, we realized how daunting it must have been for our parents and we want to do everything in our power to avoid burnout. Especially because a burnt-out parent is NOT a fun time parent! With these tips, you can become a fun-time parent, while also maintaining your sanity. It will give you more space to protect your mental health, enjoy time with your kids and create memories this summer months. Wishing you the best time with your family this summer! If you’re in need of some additional support as a parent so you can experience greater joy, peace, and fulfillment, I’d love to help. Give me a call at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation. I provide counseling for adults, parents, and couples in Coral Springs, Florida at our beautiful counseling office and also across the state of Florida via our secure telehealth platform.

Você já escutou a frase ou disse a você mesmo, "Quando eu estava na sua idade, eu andava quilômetros até a escola... e hoje isso é tão fácil para você"? Ou talvez, "Por que você não pode ser mais parecido com seu irmão"? Infelizmente, não é segredo para ninguém que os pais sentem que os adolescentes de hoje têm menos motivação e mais dificuldades de focar em suas atividades acadêmicas e extracurriculares. Eles ficam perplexos com a evidente progressão lenta e a instabilidade emocional de seus filhos adolescentes, pressupondo que são preguiçosos ou hipersensíveis. Esse ponto de vista pode frustrar os pais e levá-los a se tornarem mais envolvidos em vigiá-los e pressioná-los a ter um melhor rendimento. Por ser mãe, eu consigo entender a lógica de que a vida era muito mais complicada anteriormente. As regras sociais e familiares eram mais rígidas e não tínhamos outra escolha a não ser atender às expectativas dos nossos pais. O contexto inteiro era diferente e as expectativas escolares não eram tão grandes. Existiam poucos cursos avançados como AP ou AICE (nos Estados Unidos, são programas do high school, que permitem contato com conteúdos de faculdade) para levar os jovens adiante. Além disso, eles tinham um melhor equilíbrio entre as atividades escolares, o lazer e os intervalos. Também não existiam mídias sociais aumentando a competitividade e o julgamento tóxico dos outros. No passado, as admissões em universidades eram relativamente mais simples, com menos candidatos para a mesma vaga na educação superior. Agora, o que estamos percebendo é uma corrida de adolescentes para terminarem melhor e mais rápido do que qualquer outro. A concorrência não apenas criou altas expectativas acadêmicas e extracurriculares, mas também obrigou as crianças a focarem nisso mais cedo do que nunca. Crianças no middle school estão sendo incentivadas a ler mais rápido, entrar em programas de aptidão e fazer cursos extras em casa para ter uma vantagem sobre seus colegas. Com todo esse foco em produtividade, não é de se admirar que nossos jovens estão desesperados por intervalos, tempo social e lazer. Infelizmente, as consequências das grandes exigências sobre os ombros dos adolescentes estão afetando tanto o lado comportamental quanto o emocional desses jovens. Seus filhos estão exibindo esses comportamentos? Adiando tarefas para interagir com os amigos e família. Dormindo menos devido ao uso da hora de dormir para estudar ou para o lazer. Optando por dormir em vez de comer. O autocontrole e autodisciplina são insuficientes. Estão isolados para evitar críticas e o monitoramento de seu rendimento. Estão usando substâncias ilegais para "fugir" de sua realidade. Estão sofrendo ataques de pânico e questionando decisões. Estão desistindo de suas atividades. Os seus jovens estão sentindo essas emoções? Ansiedade pelo monitoramento semanal das notas pelos pais. Raiva pelos pais por se preocuparem apenas com seu rendimento escolar e não com sua pessoa no geral. Medo do fracasso. Baixa autoestima por perceber que seu valor como indivíduo depende do seu rendimento escolar. Têm uma postura perfeccionista e estão desenvolvendo Transtorno Obsessivo Compulsivo (TOC) para ter uma sensação de controle. Sentem culpa e vergonha. Está deprimido por não se sentir ouvido ou apoiado. Eles se fecham para todas as emoções. Como você pode ajudar? Se perceber seus filhos exibindo esses sintomas, é hora de parar e perguntar a si mesmo se esses padrões constantes estão abalando nossos adolescentes. O próximo passo é sentar e ter uma conversa sensata com eles, admitir que percebemos suas alterações emocionais e queremos ajudá-los a superar esses problemas. Uma combinação de afirmações positivas, ajustes de expectativas e rotinas organizadas pode ajudar a redefinir o humor e os comportamentos subsequentes do seu filho. Aqui estão algumas estratégias que você pode utilizar para ajudar seu filho e sua família a terem expectativas mais realistas. Escute ao jovem sem interromper ou discutir. Quando em dúvida, faça mais perguntas como o que eles precisam emocionalmente ou qual apoio adicional eles precisam academicamente. Uma postura calma e livre de julgamentos é fundamental durante essas etapas. Talvez você descubra que eles não conseguem se concentrar e precisam de um tutor, estão tendo problemas com bullying na escola ou terminaram uma amizade recentemente. Assegure-os que você tem confiança em suas virtudes e competências. Eles precisam escutar que são valorizados independentemente de suas realizações acadêmicas e que são amados por serem seus filhos. Esses jovens dando o melhor de si precisa ser o suficiente, não suas notas. Todos podem ter um teste-surpresa, e se eles entenderem que estão sendo julgados por seus esforços e não apenas pelos resultados, podem sentir-se menos ansiosos e mais confiantes. Ajude-os a ganhar equilíbrio em suas vidas. Verifique as rotinas atuais do seu filho e veja se mudanças são necessárias com horários de sono, horários de alimentação, dever de casa e intervalos. Eles não vão gostar, mas talvez você tenha que controlar o tempo de internet, impor uma organização alimentar e um horário para dormir. Ao decorrer do tempo, eles irão se acostumar e se beneficiar disso. Comemore as pequenas conquistas. Mesmo se eles falharem em outras áreas, focar nas positivas irá ajudá-los a melhorar sua confiança para superar obstáculos. Esse novo objetivo pode ser complicado de aderir, já que requer paciência, mas é um dos aspectos mais importantes para reverter a ansiedade e aumentar a autoconfiança. Entenda melhor sobre suas conexões com as redes sociais. Algumas crianças conseguem lidar com as pressões e o conteúdo das redes sociais, outras não. As redes sociais podem ser um veículo para interação social e, simultaneamente, uma armadilha perigosa para aqueles desesperados por validação além de suas famílias e de si mesmos. Aplicativos como ''Omigo'', ''Snap'', ''IG'', ''Oovoo'', ''Discourse'', e ''Viber'' (para citar alguns) proporcionam um ambiente para se reunir e interagir com outros jovens. Ainda assim, podem também trazer críticas indesejadas e relacionamentos perigosos e tóxicos. Dependendo da idade do seu filho, do histórico e da saúde mental, você pode ajudá-lo a encontrar aplicativos adequados. Esclareça os motivos para suas regras e decisões. Como eu, você detesta quando seu filho tenta discutir suas escolhas ou negociar uma consequência alternativa à que você aplicou. Você quer terminar o debate sem discutir, mas se você não o ajudar a entender a sua lógica, ele se sentirá desrespeitado e irá desrespeitar você. Eles podem não gostar de suas razões, mas você está demonstrando estrutura, liderança e cuidado, caso você seja coerente, justo e sincero. Passe tempo se divertindo com seu filho. E quero dizer diversão para o jovem. Pergunte a eles o que gostariam de fazer e quando gostariam de fazer. Talvez queiram trazer um amigo em casa e está tudo bem. Se eles não tiverem ideia, invente algo, como uma aula de culinária, aula de artes ou jogar futebol no parque. Alguns gostam da praia e outros preferem jogar videogames com você. Então, certamente, há sempre uma série favorita da Netflix ou até uma ida ao Starbucks. O importante é dar atenção ao seu filho além do que eles "deveriam estar fazendo". É incrível como eles compartilham sobre suas vidas quando eles sentem uma abordagem diferente. Se você acredita que precisa de ajuda adicional, a terapia familiar ou terapia para seu filho adolescente são ótimos recursos! Às vezes o seu filho nem entende ao certo o porquê de estar agindo dessa maneira e não consegue parar com esse comportamento, mesmo após todos seus esforços. Não há vergonha em buscar ajuda profissional, como às vezes as ideias que eles adquiriram ao decorrer do tempo estão tão consolidadas, que precisam de tratamento particular para mudar seus pensamentos fúteis e seus desafios mentais subsequentes. Se você quiser obter mais informações em como ajudar seu filho adolescente a deixar de seguir seus padrões de raciocínio e de comportamento, e adotar hábitos mais saudáveis, ligue hoje para Alexa von Oerzen, LMFT, em 786.565.2465. Mal posso esperar para atender seu filho e sua família. Como terapeuta, dou orientação para jovens, adultos e famílias em Coral Springs e Fort Lauderdale, e em todo estado da Flórida via nossa segura plataforma de telessaúde.

We have exciting news!!! We’re expanding our counseling and psychology group practice with a brand new, luxurious office space in Plantation, Florida. We will officially open for business this summer (2022). Yay! Dr. Kate Campbell (Founder of Bayview Therapy) started searching for an ideal property in Plantation in mid-2021. We searched long and hard over the past year for the perfect office space in the heart of Plantation to better serve the southwest side of Broward county. We found our beautiful, large office space in the newly renovated “Bank of America” building, which is located in central Plantation at the corner of North Pine Island Road and Sunrise Boulevard. This location is an easy driving distance from 595 and the Turnpike, which will make it convenient to better serve the following South Florida communities: Davie, Weston, Sunrise, Southwest Ranches, Pembroke Pines, and West Hollywood. As always, we’re pouring our hearts and souls into building and designing a beautiful, serene office space that our team and clients will absolutely LOVE. With each office, I always invest a lot of time and energy in researching, shopping, and designing the unique elements for every room. Our new Plantation office will include a large waiting room, 8 uniquely designed counseling rooms, and a kitchen so we can provide a variety of snacks and beverages. Each room will have a calming, yet inspiring vibe so people can feel more relaxed and comfortable when seeking psychological services (counseling, psychiatric medication, hypnotherapy, and psychological evaluations and testing). Our spa-like design provides the perfect space for healing and restoration of the mind, body, and spirit. Our team of caring and dedicated clinicians is thrilled to better serve the children, teens, adults, couples, and families who live and work on the southwest side of Broward County. We look forward to officially opening the office later this summer and will keep you posted as we get closer. We're happy to help you or your loved ones so give us a call at 954.391.5305 to see how our team of amazing therapists at Bayview Therapy can help you reach your goals. We have three office locations to better serve our south Florida community (Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs, and soon-to-be Plantation). Visit our website for more info about our team and services. For more info, check out the press release from Berger Commercial Realty.

Couples therapy can feel daunting for many couples. It’s understandable given how much one’s emotional resources go into the process. Many couples don’t know whether or not couples therapy is right for them and sometimes this question prevents them from getting the help they desperately need. Couples therapy is an investment that takes hard work over a period of time. Sometimes it can take longer than expected, but it’s usually at least a good 3-6 months to see real, lasting changes. Couples therapy is a more long-term intensive process that requires motivation, willingness, and a true desire to make positive changes to the relationship. Let’s face it, not every partner that shows up to couples therapy is ready nor willing to put in the time and effort it takes to make a productive change in their relationship. There are many couples who do participate in couples therapy who have a half-hearted experience due to uncertainty about what they want in their relationship and how much investment they’re willing to put into the process. Often enough, one partner is very motivated, while the other partner is more uncertain. These couples are called mixed agendas and the couple therapy process may not be as helpful since they are not on the same page with their goals. Some couples don’t qualify for a traditional couple’s therapy, but rather, a process that is called discernment counseling, which can be a useful precursor to couples therapy. So what is discernment counseling? Discernment counseling is a brief protocol (1-5 sessions) for treating mixed agenda couples where one partner is leaning out of the relationship and is reluctant to work on it in therapy, and the other partner wants to save the relationship. Studies suggest that as many as 30% of couples presenting for couples therapy fall into the mixed agenda category. These couples present a significant challenge for couples therapists because most models of couples therapy assume a basic willingness to save the relationship. Discernment counseling is intended for couples who have made a permanent commitment to one another whether or not they are legally married. In discernment counseling, the goal is greater clarity and confidence in their decision-making about the future of their relationship, based on a deeper understanding of what’s happened due to each person’s contributions to the problems. Some ways to know if a couple qualifies for discernment counseling are if any of the following is said (or felt) by a partner (or both). “I don’t know if I love my partner anymore; the love is gone.” “We’re on the brink of divorce.” “Couples therapy is a last resort.” “I don’t know if my partner can change.” A clear distinction between discernment counseling and couples therapy is that we are not working on making changes to the relationship, but instead are addressing individual contributions to the problems, understanding why things are the way they are, and deciding whether or not the problems are resolvable and if there is a willingness to make a change. Discernment counseling is like emergency room care vs. long-term care from a primary physician. In Discernment Counseling, there is a focus on decision-making about three paths: Path One - is to maintain the status quo, and keep things as they are by not committing to couples therapy. Path Two - is choosing to separate or divorce. Path Three - is where we choose an all-out effort for couple’s therapy for the duration of six months. The ideal outcome is for the couple to choose path 3, an all-out effort to make positive changes to the relationship. Usually, there is a “leaning in” partner and a “leaning out” partner to which there are different approaches. With the “leaning out” partner, the goal is to help them make a decision based on a more complex understanding of their marriage and their role in its challenges, assisting with developing a more connected perspective in the relational dynamic. With the “leaning in” partner, the goal is to help them bring their best self to the crisis, demonstrating more understanding of the other partner’s experiences while working on the self. In a study of 100 couples, 46% choose path three, 42% choose path two, and 12% choose path one. According to Bill Doherty, “about 40% of the total couples were still married after 2 years of discernment counseling”. If you and your partner are struggling to determine if couples therapy is right for you, it may be helpful to consider discernment counseling. Your therapist can provide the necessary information to assist you with making the right decision for moving forward. If you have questions about whether discernment therapy or couples therapy is the best next step, contact us today for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. Jackie Schwartz, LMFT provides both discernment counseling and couples counseling in our beautiful offices located in Coral Springs and Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She also provides counseling online throughout the state of Florida via our secure telehealth platform. For more information about her approach to counseling, visit her about me page by clicking here.

Depression does not discriminate. But men and women tend to differ in their experiences of depression. In general, men tend to show more anger and irritability as opposed to a sad mood. Men tend to experience more physical symptoms associated with depression, such as headaches, stomach issues, and general physical pain or discomfort. Depression in men tends to take the form of maladaptive and unhealthy behaviors. Whether it be excessive drinking or eating, throwing yourself at work, or pulling away from family and friends, it’s common for depressed men to find ways to escape or avoid these feelings. Undiagnosed But Not Unnoticed Compared to women, men tend to resist seeking help for depression. Men are more likely to not recognize anger or physical symptoms as signs of depression. Men tend to downplay or flat-out deny their symptoms. As a result, depression in men often goes undiagnosed and untreated. Untreated does not mean unnoticed. In fact, depression in men can be quite noticeable. Depression in men can often take the form of irritability and anger, which only intensifies conflicts with loved ones, co-workers, or other important people in our lives. Unhealthy eating or drinking are also signs of underlying emotional or psychological stress, as are sharp declines in work performance. Simply put, the people who care about us notice, even if we do not. What Can Men Do? First and foremost, meeting with a mental health professional can really help. Seeking out expert help and guidance can provide us with information, skills, and new perspectives necessary for overcoming our blind spots and making lasting changes. Therapy can be emotional, but growth and change are about more than just discussing how we feel. It’s about identifying specific problems and working towards specific goals. When first getting started in therapy, consider the following: focus on goals as opposed to problems or diagnostic labels use schedules and develop routines find activities that get you up, moving, and out of your typical environment Good therapy is accessible, goal-oriented, and defines a clear path to relief and growth. The above considerations can help keep you focused and take the guesswork out of the therapy equation. Get Back to You Imagine getting back to your happier self. Imagine having better relationships with the people you care about. Imagine spending less time in conflict and anger, and more time in peace and contentment. It is possible, and you are more than capable. Depression doesn’t have to define you and therapy doesn’t have to be a scarlet letter. If you’re tired of struggling and want to move forward in a positive direction, contact me today at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation. Let’s get started with getting back to you. Dr. Jeffrey Mandelkorn provides counseling for adults in Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs, Florida. He also provides online counseling across the state of Florida via our secure telehealth platform. For more information about Dr. Jeff and his approach, click here.

You might be wondering about EMDR therapy and how it can help your child overcome negative thoughts or feelings related to an event that happened in their past… What is EMDR Therapy? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) has been proven through research to be a safe and effective treatment for individuals struggling with symptoms of trauma. EMDR can also be effective with children depending on numerous factors that can be discussed with a trained EMDR therapist. EMDR therapy is an eight-stage process that focuses on a distressing memory (“yucky memory”) and the attached negative beliefs or “bad thoughts” associated with this experience. The trained EMDR therapist will implement rapid sets of bilateral stimulation (BLS) to help strengthen the child’s view of the world and of themselves while desensitizing the images, thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. EMDR therapy can foster resiliency and increase self-esteem in children while creating an adaptive cognitive and physical shift. EMDR can help a child’s negative thoughts about themselves and the world to transition into healthier beliefs by focusing on the present moment. In addition, EMDR can be accompanied by other treatment modalities to fit a child's developmental needs. For example, art therapy, child-centered play therapy, sand tray therapy, equine-assisted therapy, and yoga therapy techniques are usually integrated into treatment. These approaches allow children to use their creativity, and imagination (through imagery) to develop resources for grounding and positive thinking. What is Trauma? Trauma can be understood as a distressing event or a series of events that may cause emotional, psychological, and physical disturbance to a person. Our brains have a natural system for processing information and experiences. This process involves our right side of the brain (emotional mind) and our left side of the brain (rational mind). Naturally, we process multiple elements of our experiences and process the memories in an accessible and useful form. Think about a memory bank and how each account has a memory containing different feelings, sensations, images, related thoughts, and emotions. However, when a distressing event occurs, it can cause the brain to become overwhelmed and stuck with emotions, and therefore, we do not have the information we need to make sense of it in a healthier way. Traumatic events can happen at any stage of our lives. Sometimes we can experience traumatic events for which we are emotionally or developmentally unprepared. Trauma is commonly described in two categories: “Big T” traumas or “little t” traumas. “Big T” traumas in children are more acute and intense and often associated with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD. Some events that can cause Big-T trauma in children include: Being exposed to domestic violence Separation from a loved one Experiencing a natural disaster Life-Threatening events Bullying Grief and loss of a loved one Having a medical condition In the case of “little t” traumas, these are mainly events that exceed our ability to cope and can interfere with our daily functioning. Little T traumas in children can be pervasive and ongoing which can cause a huge emotional and physical impact. Amongst “little t” traumas involve: Financial distress Neglect Disruption in the family/separation/divorce Bullying and/or harassment Interpersonal conflict Legal or immigration-related problems It is important to note that symptoms as a result of trauma can look different in children. Depending on their age, children reenact traumatic events through repeated play. The most common symptoms of trauma in children can include: sleep problems, nightmares, increased tantrums/crying spells, phobias, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, separation anxiety, trouble concentrating/paying attention, and avoidance of places, people, or situations. How can I help at home? It is important that parents/caregivers are involved during the course of their child’s treatment. Part of EMDR treatment includes increasing the child’s resources and coping skills to manage any presenting symptoms. Furthermore, learning about EMDR and its process can help parents to communicate more effectively with their children about their symptoms and how to best help at home. For example, parents can help create a fun environment while reinforcing deep breathing exercises and practicing their bilateral stimulation (BLS). Another important factor for parents is to take a non-judgmental approach and show understanding and compassion for their child’s progress. Parents must give their children a validating space by listening and being present, thereby creating a sense of value and support. Ask, ask, ask! Parents can also help by asking open-ended questions to help monitor the child’s progress and understanding of treatment. Some questions parents ask their child to support the benefits of EMDR therapy: Which skill do you want to practice today? Which positive thoughts did you come up with? How can I help remember them? Which is your favorite breathing exercise? Do you need help practicing your bilateral stimulation (BLS)? Can you show me the butterfly hug/gorilla tap you learned today? Lastly, SELF-CARE! Trauma can also affect the family system and most importantly, it can take a toll on the child’s parents. Grounding before and after sessions may be crucial for parents, given that they will serve as co-regulators in sessions. Planning some quality time after sessions can also help enhance the connection between the parent and their child. If you’re curious about how EMDR therapy can help your child or teen, give us a call at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation. Lorena Arrarte, LMHC provides counseling and EMDR therapy for children, teens, adults, and families at our beautiful offices located in Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs, Florida.

Intrusive memories can come to you out of the blue and make you feel like you are out of control, confused, and lost. They can be so intense to the point of paralyzing you from doing the day-to-day things of life. Intrusive thoughts/memories can be triggered by an external situation as well as an internal response to your surroundings such as visual images, smells, sounds, tastes, and body sensations. Sometimes it is easy to connect and make sense of what causes you to have them, other times, it is not. One of the side effects of going through pain, grief, neglect, embarrassment, and vulnerability, in general, is how you tend to recollect and feel about those situations. As you know, you can go through the same significant experience as your sister and brother, friends, and co-workers, but you may perceive it and archive it in your mind, body, spirit, and heart differently. Life-threatening events can definitely shatter your beliefs about yourself and can shake the way your nervous system processes emotions and situations. If you do not have the ability to regulate your emotions (keep them in check), then the way you store these memories in your mind, body, spirit, and heart will influence how you react in the future when these memories get triggered. Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy/Hypnosis allows you to rewire the way you perceive yourself after those significant events. You may have experienced intrusive memories that triggered emotions and thoughts of “not being good enough,” “I am worthless,” or “I am useless,” due to the painful situations you experienced in the early years of your life. These dysfunctional perceptions of yourself may trigger an automatic way of behaving and being that is negative or unhealthy. During hypnosis, you’ll be invited into a relaxed trance. In this experience, you will be able to regress back in time, identify the unhealthy old conclusions that laid the foundation for the current unhealthy choices, and create new conclusions about old memories and choose new behaviors. Processing intrusive memories and the overwhelming emotions that come with them can be incredibly uncomfortable. Heart-Centered Hypnotherapy will help you identify repressed memories and emotions that you have experienced because of a painful event in your life and that has been the source of your mental health challenges. As we know, trauma can “hijack” your brain, therefore, the way you see yourself, the people, and the world around you. Intrusive memories can paralyze you from being the person you want to be. The mental and emotional flashbacks can be exhausting to live with. The good news is that you don’t have to let intrusive memories/thoughts hold you back any longer. If you want to stop re-creating unhealthy behaviors, relationships, and negative perceptions of yourself; you want to start trusting yourself again, and you are wholeheartedly open to deeper healing, then reach out to Tatiana St. Germain today. I’d be happy to set up a complimentary consultation at 954.391.5305 so we can discuss how counseling and/or heart-centered hypnotherapy can be useful for you. Tatiana provides counseling and hypnosis/hypnotherapy at our beautiful Coral Springs office and across the state of Florida via our secure telehealth (online counseling) platform. We look forward to helping you live your best life. You deserve it!

Have you ever heard the phrase or said it yourself, "When I was your age, I walked miles to school… you have it so easy?" What about, “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” Unfortunately, it is no secret that parents feel teens today have less motivation and struggle to focus on their academics and extracurricular activities. Parents feel perplexed with their teens' apparent slow progression and emotional instability and assume they are lazy or hypersensitive. This perspective can frustrate parents and drive them to become more involved in monitoring and pressuring them for higher performance. As a parent, I can relate to thinking that life was much harder in the past. Social and family rules were more rigid, and we had no choice but to carry out our parent's expectations. The whole environment was different and school expectations were not as high. There were few advanced AP or ACE courses to push kids ahead, and kids had a better balance between work, play, and downtime. There was also no social media increasing the competitiveness and toxic judgments of others. Furthermore, university acceptance was relatively easier with fewer candidates for the same spot in higher education. Right now, what we are seeing is a rush for teens to finish faster and better than anyone else. Competition not only has created high academic and extracurricular expectations but has forced kids to focus on this earlier than ever before. Middle school kids are being encouraged to read faster, get into gifted curriculums, and take extra individual home-based courses to get an edge over their peers. With all this focus on productivity, it is no wonder that our teens are desperate for downtime, social time, and playtime. Unfortunately, the consequences of our teens' high demands have taken a toll both behaviorally and emotionally. Are your teens exhibiting the following behaviors? Postponing assignments in favor of social interaction. Experiencing lack of sleep due to using sleep time for work or relaxation. Choosing sleep overeating. Insufficient self-control and self-discipline. Isolating to avoid criticism and monitoring their performance. Using illegal substances to "check out" their reality. Having panic attacks and second-guessing decisions. Giving up on their work. Are your teens feeling the following emotions? Anxious over weekly parental monitoring of grades. Angry at parents for only focusing on performance and not on them as a whole. Fearful of failure. Low self-esteem if they have aligned their worth with their performance. Having a perfectionist attitude and developing OCD to gain a sense of control. Feeling guilty and shameful. Being depressed over not feeling heard or supported. Shutting down all feelings. How can you help? If you see your kids exhibiting these symptoms, it is time to stop and ask ourselves if these unrelenting standards are overwhelming our teens. The next step is to sit down and have a level-headed conversation with them and acknowledge that we notice their changes and that we want to help them overcome their feelings. A mix of positive affirmations, expectation adjustments, and structured routines can help reset your teen's mood and consequent behaviors. Here are a few strategies you can use to help your teen and your family have more realistic expectations. Listen to your teen without commenting or arguing. When in doubt, ask more questions like what they need emotionally or what extra support they need academically. A calm and judgment-free stance is vital during these times. Maybe you will find that they can't focus and need a tutor, have a bullying problem in school, or recently ended a friendship. Ensure them that you have confidence in their strengths and competence. They need to hear that they are valued independently of their academic achievements and loved for being your kid. Them doing their best needs to be good enough, not the grade. Everyone can have a curveball for a test, and if they know they are being judged for their efforts and not only the results, they can feel less anxious and more confident. Help them gain balance in their life. Review their current routine and see if changes are required with sleep schedules, eating schedules, homework, and downtime. They won't like it, but you may need to curb their internet time, impose a meal structure, and impose a better sleep curfew. In time they will get used to it and benefit from it. Celebrate small successes. Even if failures are happening in other areas, focusing on the positives will help them improve their confidence to overcome challenges. This new focus can be challenging to adhere to as it requires patience, but it is one of the most important aspects of turning anxiety and self-confidence around. Learn more about their relationship with social media. Some kids can handle the pressures and content of social media, and some cannot. Social media can be a vehicle for social interaction and, at the same time, a dangerous trap for those desperate for validation outside of their family and themselves. Apps like 'Omigo', 'Snap', 'IG', 'Oovoo', 'Discourse', and 'Viber' (to name a few) can provide a place for meeting and interacting with other teens. Still, it can also bring unwanted criticism and toxic and dangerous relationships. Depending on your kid's age, history, and emotional health, you can help them determine appropriate apps. Explain the reasons for your rules and decisions. If you are like me, you hate when your kid tries to debate your choices or negotiate a different consequence you imposed. You want to end the argument and not engage, but if you do not help them understand your rationale, they will feel disrespected and start disrespecting you. They might not like your reasons, but you are modeling structure, leadership, and care if you are consistent, fair, and honest. Spend some fun time with your teen. I mean fun for your kid. Ask them what they would like to do and when they would like to do it. Maybe they want to bring a friend, and that's fine too. If they don't have ideas, come up with some, like a cooking class, an art class, or play ball at the park. Some like the beach, and some want to play video games with you. Then, of course, there is always a favorite Netflix series or even a trip to Starbucks. The important thing is to pay attention to your teen outside of what they are "supposed to do." It is incredible what you hear about their lives when they sense a different approach. If you believe you need additional help, family counseling or counseling for your teen is a great resource! Sometimes your teen is not even sure why they are behaving in the manner they are, and they cannot stop their behavior or mood, even after all your efforts. There is no shame in getting professional help, as sometimes the thoughts they have acquired along the way are so ingrained that they need a particular treatment to change their unhelpful overthinking and consequent mental challenges. If you would like more information on how to help your teen disengage from her thinking and behavioral patterns and adopt healthier habits, call Alexa von Oertzen, LMFT today at 954.391.5305. I look forward to being of service to your teen and your family. Alexa provides counseling for teens, adults, and families in Coral Springs and Fort Lauderdale as well as across the state of Florida via our secure telehealth platform.

Self-care is an essential part of our overall well-being. However, it often gets a stigma of having a “treat yourself” mentality. Massages, gym sessions, vacations, fancy dinners, and shopping sprees are often the first things that come to mind when you hear self-care. Now don't get me wrong, these things are amazing and are certainly great ways to take care of yourself. But it's not always possible to partake in these types of activities. What happens if you are sick, short on money, or have a tight schedule? We don't always have the ability to pamper ourselves and tend to our physical health. There have to be ways to practice self-care for the emotional self as well. Sadly, these strategies are often overlooked. The first few months of 2022 were really difficult for me while I struggled with some medical and health issues that kept me out of my normal diet, gym, and active routine. I found myself struggling to feel energized and my typical positive outlook was hard to connect with. This gave me the push to focus on ways to make myself feel both positive and healthy in a more emotional and mental manner. I've put together some of the easiest and most effective emotional self-care practices to improve your emotional and mental health. Positive-Self Talk/Affirmations - The way you speak to yourself is directly connected to how you feel about yourself. Telling yourself “I'm lazy” will inevitably create a similar feeling. Being kind to yourself is a CORE component of emotional self-care. Use uplifting and confident language with yourself, and use positive affirmations. What we focus on magnifies. Fuel your mind with encouragement and see the shift in your mood. I like to focus on uplifting mantras and quotes when I need an emotional pick me up. Meditation/Mindfulness - Create a safe space for your mind. We need mental rest just as much as we need physical rest, yet it's often pushed to the wayside with the hustle and bustle of a busy schedule. Meditation is a healthy tool to calm the mind and shift your focus to being present with yourself. However, you can also find your own form of mediation, essentially anything that helps you to find a healthy distraction from your external stressors and focus on relaxing from within. Also, don't forget to take some time out of your day to check in with yourself, ask yourself how you are and what you need to take better care of yourself at that moment. The more aware you are of your mental state, the better you can tend to your own needs. We call this mindfulness. Boundaries - Boundaries are often talked about being applied with other people and in relationships. You also need to set boundaries with yourself. Knowing your limits and staying within them to make sure you are not pushing yourself to a place of being overwhelmed and burning out is boundary setting 101. You will function and feel better if you are staying within healthy boundary limits and knowing when to stop or rest. Set Goals/Intentions- An extension of boundary setting is setting healthy goals. It is easy to get distracted by things you want to accomplish, setting goals for things you CAN accomplish in your routine is so important to hold you accountable. Whether you are dedicating 10 minutes to meditate, catching up on work, or simply creating mental breaks in your day to eat, rest, and recharge, it is essential to set these realistic goals for yourself to feel in control and accomplished. Communicate - I found talking to my friends, family, and loved ones to be extremely beneficial. Whether I needed a pick-me-up, advice, or even a healthy distraction and laugh, my support system was great to have by my side. Don't be afraid to ask for help and talk to someone. Therapy is an excellent self-care practice as well! If you or someone you know can benefit from establishing a healthy self-care routine, mood management, or anxiety support, we are here to help! Jamie Ratowski, LMFT specializes in helping adults work with anxiety and stress management, self-esteem, and relationships, and helping all to achieve their healthiest, happiest lives. Jamie works within the beautiful Bayview Therapy office in Fort Lauderdale and virtually across the state of Florida through a HIPAA-compliant secure platform. To work with Jamie, call the office at 954-391-5305 for your free consultation.