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They were single and coincidentally vacationing in the same city, at the same time. It was a sunny day with a cool breeze with conversations flowing seamlessly. As they were recalling how they met, the couple sitting in my office described how pleasant it used to be spending time in each other’s presence. Five years ago, they thought the bond they formed would only grow stronger over the years. It’s been a while since that beautiful vacation in Spain, and nowadays they seem confused as to how they found themselves here. Why is it so hard for them to understand and reach each other emotionally? As our conversation switched from past to present, an emotional divide appeared between them; a space that was cold and quiet. He seemed withdrawn and she appeared concerned. They described how hard it is to get along lately. He insisted that he feels like the “last item” on her long to-do list, while she accused him of not even trying to understand what it’s like to be in her shoes. He tried to defend himself by saying that he keeps trying to “guess” what would make her happy, and that the guessing has been frustrating and fatiguing. One could sense that although they both wanted to be better partners, there was something about the way they were engaging with each other that caused a disconnect. Different Ways Couples Can Approach Closeness Some people believe that tranquility, compassion, and time spent together are key to relational happiness. Calm conversations are viewed as a necessary element of togetherness yet heightened expressions of emotions are interpreted as conflict. Gentle discussions communicate care, and time spent talking about feelings is important to them. Others believe that emotional excitement is a sign of relational aliveness and signals intimacy. Regardless of whether the emotions expressed are positive or negative, conflict and closeness can coexist. They expect communication to be direct and for issues to be addressed head-on. For them, constructive criticism is something that happens in all close relationships. They prefer time together to be spent on tasks, not talking. Emotionality, open feedback, and participation in joint tasks is what brings a sense of togetherness. When partners approach closeness from two distinct perspectives, the differences that arise can cause disconnect. Lack of desire to spend time “just talking” gets interpreted as lack of love by the person for whom these things matter. Oftentimes isolation follows as a way to restore calmness. Direct, assertive requests to re-engage emotionally are perceived as being too aggressive by the partner who believes that intimacy should be inferred, not “demanded”. Differences in the way partners prefer to engage emotionally can lead to frustration and can cause negative feelings about self and the relationship. As questions about the other person’s love make their way into the minds and hearts of partners, it is not uncommon for spouses to begin to wonder if they are important enough to the other person. This concern then becomes both the cause and the result of more conflict. If left unaddressed, over the years, emotional disconnect grows deeper and wider. Answers That Can Bring You Closer In a relationship, both partners have valid reasons for seeking the type of closeness that feels meaningful to them. One of you might interpret calmness as a sign of closeness. Making open and direct requests for love and attention might seem unfamiliar and foreign. Maybe calmness is essential to emotional comfort, and you believe that compassion and support is what is expected in loving relationships. However, if one person believes that closeness is not something to be asked for (it either happens or it doesn’t), but the other one insists that in intimate relationships partners should be able to make open and direct requests for closeness when they need it, these differences in the way you expect to give and receive love can cause difficulties. After a while, both parties feel misunderstood, and you might notice that there’s an emotional gap between the two of you. The disconnect continues to increase as each person starts to insist on their preferred way to re-engage emotionally. Ultimately, reconnecting might feel almost impossible, but it doesn’t have to be. Although it’s understandable why you feel this way, each of you is also right: you deserve to feel loved, cared for, and part of a relationship where the other person’s presence feels pleasant and meaningful. How to Communicate Your Way Back to Connection Differences in the way you approach emotional closeness do not have to be an obstacle to your happiness. One of you might be bringing more emotionality and the other one more calmness to the relationship, but if you communicate effectively, you can increase emotional compatibility and strengthen your bond. What to Do: I use the acronym CARE with my couples clients to make it easier to remember: “C”: Conversation I suggest you start by having a conversation where you're open to the other person’s perspective on closeness. “A”: Acknowledge Acknowledge each other, the love, and the challenges you’re having as you’re trying to reconnect. “R”: Recognize Recognize the similarities – you probably just want to connect in a meaningful way. Remember that you have different ways of achieving togetherness. Reminisce on the activities you used to do together, the things that made being in each other’s company pleasant and meaningful. “E”: Express Express your intention about bringing back conversations, emotions, and activities that will help you reconnect, and with it achieve closeness again. Ready to Reconnect With Your Partner? Couples Therapy Can Help! If you don’t feel comfortable addressing these issues on your own, talk to someone who can help. A trained couple’s therapist can facilitate a space where differences can be acknowledged with understanding, compassion, and appreciation so you can resolve challenges and help you to reconnect and strengthen your bond. Couples therapy can give you the tools needed to strengthen your communication and connection with your partner. Sabrina Simmons is a licensed mental health counselor located at our beautiful counseling office in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She also provides online therapy for adults and couples who reside in the state of Florida via our secure telehealth platform. For more information about Sabrina’s approach to therapy for adults or couples, click here. Call 954-391-5305 today for your complimentary consultation.

The decision to see a therapist is a personal one, often stemming from various factors in one's life. Whether you're facing daily stressors, an unexpected life transition (divorce, job loss, etc), or more profound emotional or mental health related challenges, seeking professional help can be a transformative experience. For residents of Plantation, Florida, here are five compelling reasons to consider therapy. 1. Navigating Life Changes Plantation, with its serene neighborhoods and lush landscapes, might seem like the ideal place to live. However, no location is immune to the challenges in life. Whether you're adjusting to a new job, dealing with the loss of a loved one, or facing a significant life transition, a therapist can provide guidance and techniques to help you better manage life’s transitions. They offer coping strategies, helping you process emotions and ensuring you don't feel alone during these times. 2. Managing Stress and Anxiety The hustle and bustle of South Florida can sometimes be overwhelming. From the pressures of work to the challenges of family life, stress and anxiety can creep in. A therapist can equip you with tools to manage these emotions, ensuring they don't escalate into more severe mental health issues. By understanding the root causes of your stress, you can address them head-on, leading to a more balanced and peaceful life. 3. Enhancing Relationships Relationships, whether familial, romantic, or platonic, are the backbone of our lives. However, they can also be sources of conflict, disappointments and misunderstanding. Couples therapy and/or family therapy in Plantation can help resolve these conflicts. Therapists provide a neutral ground where all parties can express their feelings, fostering understanding and promoting healthier communication patterns and more fulfilling relationships. 4. Addressing Past Traumas Past traumas, if left unaddressed, can cast long shadows over our present lives. Whether it's a childhood event, a traumatic incident, or any experience that has left a lasting impact, it's crucial to process these feelings. Therapists in Plantation are trained to help you navigate these memories, ensuring they don't hinder your current life. By confronting these traumas, you can find closure and move forward with renewed strength. 5. Personal Growth and Self-Understanding Therapy isn't just for those facing challenges or traumas. Many individuals in Plantation seek therapy as a tool for personal growth. It offers a space for introspection, helping you understand your motivations, desires, and fears. With this self-awareness, you can set clear goals, improve your self-esteem, and lead a more fulfilling life. Looking for a great therapist near Plantation, Florida? Plantation, Florida, with its beautiful parks and community spirit, offers an excellent backdrop for personal growth and healing. Whether you're facing specific challenges or simply seeking a deeper understanding of yourself, therapists in Plantation provide the expertise and support you need. Remember, seeking help isn't a sign of weakness; it's a testament to your strength and desire to lead a happier, more balanced life. Contact us for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 to see how our expert therapists, psychologists, and psychiatric medication providers can help. For more information about our services, click here. We offer counseling in person at our Plantation, Coral Springs, and Fort Lauderdale offices. We also offer online counseling via our secure telehealth platform across the state of Florida.

Although there is no official definition of sexual assault, it is commonly accepted that sexual assault is sexual contact or behavior that is made without clear, voluntary consent. Sexual assault, sometimes called sexual violence or sexual abuse, can include fondling or groping (molestation), penetration (rape), and attempted rape. Sexual assault, no matter when or how it happened, commonly leads to a posttraumatic stress response. Posttraumatic stress can include intrusions, negative changes in thinking and mood, hyperarousal, and avoidance of trauma reminders. Intrusions: Intrusions are those upsetting memories, thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations from the sexual assault that pop up and cause distress. They may arise seemingly out of nowhere or when something in the environment reminds the survivor of the assault. Intrusions can also include nightmares of the assault and feeling like the assault is actually happening again. Although intrusions themselves aren’t dangerous, they can feel that way. Negative Changes in Thoughts and Mood: Experiencing a sexual assault can impact how a survivor sees themself, others, and the world. Often, survivors experience changes in the way they think about safety, trust, power/control, esteem, and intimacy. They may experience extreme thoughts such as, “the world is unsafe,” “I can’t trust my own judgment,” or “I’m damaged”. It’s also common for a survivor to erroneously blame themself for what happened, such as believing “I shouldn’t have gotten drunk” or “I should’ve fought harder.” And if they’ve experienced a sexual assault or other traumatic event before, it’s common for previous negative beliefs to be reinforced by the new assault. Common emotions that arise from a sexual assault are shock, confusion, and intense sadness, anger, guilt, shame, horror, and fear. Some people find that they also have a hard time feeling positive emotions, finding interest in things, or feeling connected to others. Hyperarousal: Hyperarousal refers to the feeling of being “on edge.” Survivors might be hypervigilant, jumpy, have difficulty concentrating and sleeping, be irritable, and partake in risky behaviors. It might feel like they are often in flight/flight/freeze mode and have trouble relaxing. Avoidance: There are two types of avoidance that many people experience after a sexual assault – avoidance of internal reminders of the traumatic event and avoidance of external reminders. Avoidance of internal reminders is when someone tries to get rid of thoughts, feelings, and memories of the event. Substance use, self-harm, staying busy, and “moving on” are common types of avoidance. Avoidance of external reminders is when someone avoids people, places, and situations that remind them of the sexual assault. Avoidance is a natural response. It is natural to not want to think about being sexually assaulted, to not want to feel the painful emotions, to want to “move on.” Although avoidance often works in the short-term, it has negative long-term consequences: Ignoring a problem doesn’t fix it. Coping and Recovery After Sexaul Assault: Posttraumatic stress is not permanent. It is possible to recover from sexual assault and live a meaningful, rich life. The most important and effective way to recover from a sexual assault is to safely “approach” the memories, thoughts, feelings, and trauma reminders instead of avoiding them. For some people, approaching can look like talking to nonjudgmental and supportive friends or family or joining a support group, while others would benefit from also addressing the trauma with the help of a therapist. Psychotherapy is a powerful and safe way to approach memories of sexual assault and its impact on a survivor’s life. With the right therapist, the sexual assault can become part of an individual’s story instead of the whole story. Effective therapy treatments for posttraumatic stress include Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). With these therapies, intrusions have the chance to reduce, the body is no longer in fight/flight/freeze mode, mood can improve, negative thoughts can be replaced with more realistic, helpful ones, and avoidance is lessened. Additionally, healthy coping strategies are also an important tool in getting through the aftermath of a sexual assault. Eating regular meals, getting outside, physical activity, spending time with trusted loved ones, and getting regular sleep, can contribute to a survivor’s recovery. Therapy with Shara: I have helped individuals recover from traumatic events since 2016, 6 of those years were exclusively dedicated to working with survivors of sexual assault. I provide counseling for adults at our beautiful Planation, Florida office and online via our secure telehealth platform for those who reside in the state of Florida. If you think it’s time to pursue therapy, I invite you to contact us to schedule a phone consultation with me at 954-391-5305. If you’re currently experiencing a mental health crisis, call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 911, or go to your nearest emergency room. If you’ve recently been sexually assaulted and need immediate support or want to learn more about your rights and options, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673. ***Disclaimer: The following information does not constitute medical or mental health diagnosis, treatment, or advice and is provided for general informational purposes only. ***

Marriage or long-term relationships often fall into patterns, with couples occasionally feeling the romance wane amidst busy lives. One of the best ways to rekindle the spark is by setting aside regular date nights. For those lucky enough to find themselves in Coral Springs, Florida, there's a treasure trove of delightful experiences waiting to be discovered! Let's delve into these romantic escapes to elevate your bond with your partner. 1. Stroll Through The Walk of Coral Springs: Let the journey of rediscovery begin at The Walk. Teeming with a variety of restaurants, cafes, and quaint boutiques, it's the perfect place to kindle old memories and create new ones. 2. Dive into Culture at the Coral Springs Museum of Art: Art, with its myriad expressions, offers couples a chance to view life from different perspectives. Take a serene walk through the Coral Springs Museum of Art, discussing your favorite pieces and understanding your partner's artistic inclinations. 3. Nature's Serenade at Tall Cypress Natural Area: Reconnect with nature and each other. Surrounded by the tranquility of the Tall Cypress Natural Area, share intimate conversations, birdwatch, or simply bask in the sun for a memorable daytime date. 4. Revel in Performances at The Coral Springs Center for the Arts: Shared experiences, especially ones as enriching as live performances at the Coral Springs Center for the Arts, can be a conduit for deepening connections. Be it a dramatic play, a comedy show, or a concert; immerse yourself in the world of arts with your significant other. 5. Gliding Moments at Panthers IceDen: Add a touch of playful fun by ice skating at the Panthers IceDen. Hold hands, laugh at the goof-ups, and cherish the shared moments at this popular ice rink. 6. A Culinary Dance at Tavolino Della Nonna: Good food can stir emotions and create memories. Enjoy a romantic Italian dinner at Tavolina Della Nonna, and let the flavors of Italy reignite the passion. 7. Relaxed Vibes at World of Beer: For those moments when all you need is a laid-back setting, cold beer, and soulful live music, World of Beer promises a chilled-out evening. 8. Test Your Teamwork at Coral Springs Escape Rooms: Strengthen your bond by solving mysteries together at Red Button Escape. It's a fun way to gauge your team dynamics and revel in the joy of shared success. 9. Embrace the Great Outdoors: Golf, tennis, or a calming park stroll, Coral Springs has an array of outdoor activities that can be both fun and therapeutic for couples. 10. Timeless Movie Evenings: Revisit classic romances or explore new tales. A movie night remains an evergreen date idea. 11. A Spa Day for Two: Relax, rejuvenate, and revive your senses. A couples massage or spa retreat can be a wonderful way to recharge both individually and as a couple. 12. Waterway Wonders: Rent kayaks or paddle boards and navigate the serene water channels. Such adventures often lead to the most profound conversations. 13. Dive into Local Festivals and Events: Shared experiences amidst community events or food festivals can be thrilling. Keep a tab on local happenings for an impromptu date plan. In the end, what truly matters is the time and effort you put into nurturing your relationship. Coral Springs provides an incredible backdrop for these moments. So take the time, plan a date, and let the romance flourish amidst the beauty and diversity of this Floridian gem. If you want additional support in enhancing your relationship with couples counseling or marriage counseling, contact us for complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. Our relationship experts can help!

Play therapy, a therapeutic approach primarily used with children, has gained significant attention over the years. It's not just a simple playtime; it's a structured, theoretically-based approach to therapy that helps children express themselves, explore their thoughts and feelings, and address a variety of problems. Here are compelling reasons why play therapy is great for kids. 1. Natural Expression for Children Children often don't have the vocabulary or the cognitive ability to express complex emotions. Play provides a natural medium for them to communicate their feelings, fears, and experiences. 2. Safe Environment Play therapy offers a safe and confidential space where children can express and process their feelings without judgment. This safety helps them open up and explore emotions they might otherwise suppress. 3. Enhances Emotional Development Through play, children learn to recognize and manage their emotions. They can practice coping strategies, develop resilience, and improve their emotional intelligence. 4. Promotes Problem-Solving Skills Play therapy allows children to confront their problems and find solutions. Whether they're navigating social scenarios or dealing with personal challenges, play helps them experiment with solutions. 5. Improves Social Skills Play therapy can help children with social challenges by allowing them to practice social scenarios. They learn to share, take turns, express themselves, and understand others' feelings. 6. Supports Trauma Recovery For children who've experienced trauma, play therapy can be especially beneficial. It provides them with a way to process traumatic events, express their feelings, and regain a sense of normalcy. 7. Strengthens Parent-Child Relationship Play therapists often involve parents in the therapeutic process. This not only educates parents about the benefits of play but also strengthens the bond between parent and child. 8. Encourages Creativity and Imagination Play therapy taps into a child's natural ability to be creative and imaginative. This not only aids in their emotional expression but also fosters cognitive growth. 9. Reduces Anxiety and Stress Play is inherently relaxing and enjoyable. For children dealing with anxiety or stress, play therapy can be a valuable tool to help them relax, explore their feelings, and find coping strategies. 10. Adaptable to Individual Needs Every child is unique, and play therapy can be tailored to meet the specific needs of each child. Whether it's through art, drama, music, or toys, therapists can find the best approach for each child. Play therapy can help your child and family experience greater peace, harmony, connection, and fulfillment. Play therapy is more than just play. It's a powerful therapeutic tool that can help children navigate their emotions, confront challenges, and develop essential life skills. With its numerous benefits, it's no wonder that play therapy is becoming a go-to approach for child therapists worldwide. If you’re ready to find out how play therapy can help your child and family, contact us for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. We have therapists who offer play informed therapy at our offices in Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs, and Plantation, Florida.

As a parent, seeing your child struggling and not knowing how to help is difficult. Fortunately, play therapy can be an effective way to address a variety of issues. In this blog post, we’ll explore the benefits of play therapy and how it can help your child express themselves, build relationships, and overcome challenges. What is Play Therapy? Historically, the therapeutic power of play has been known for centuries. Philosophers from Ancient Greece discussed the topic, including Plato, who wrote, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” Play therapy has emerged as an evidence-based approach therapists use to treat children. So, why play? Play is a spontaneous and natural form of expression for children. It’s their natural language and allows them to express themselves without using words. When children play, they are in their natural element. Play therapy is a highly effective way to translate this natural language into a therapeutic framework. What is the difference between playing at home with my child and play therapy? Play therapy is different from play at home because it’s intentional and goal-oriented. Play therapy allows therapists to use the power and language of play to engage with children. It’s a safe and appropriate way for children to explore their feelings, emotions, and experiences. Play therapy is a powerful tool for communication between the child and the therapist. It provides a non-threatening environment where the child can freely express his or her thoughts and feelings through play. This, in turn, gives the therapist a glimpse into the child's world, helping them to understand the child better and build a bond of trust. One of the benefits of play therapy is that it allows therapists to work with children’s parents to enhance, repair, and strengthen the attachment bond between parent and child. This is an essential component of successful therapy because parents have an important role in the healing process of their children. Play therapy is helpful for children experiencing a wide range of challenges. It’s particularly effective for children with anxiety, stress, or phobias. It can also help children who are struggling with academic or social issues. Additionally, play therapy can help children experiencing sleeping problems like nightmares or disturbed sleep/insomnia, have suffered from trauma, are withdrawn and unhappy, display inappropriate behaviors, have two homes because their parents are divorced, and have problems expressing themselves. Play therapy opens up a unique opportunity for therapists to better understand a child’s feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. It encourages exploration, self-awareness, and communication without words. Play therapy is an invaluable tool that can help children express themselves in a safe and therapeutic environment. Benefits of Play Therapy: Emotionally, play therapy can foster wellness by allowing children to explore and express their emotions in a safe and controlled environment. It also helps children better understand and manage their emotions, contributing to their mental health and overall well-being. Socially, play therapy can enhance relationships by teaching children important social skills. It fosters empathy, helps children understand the perspective of others, and encourages cooperation and negotiation. As they interact with others during play therapy, children learn to communicate effectively, understand social cues, and respect boundaries, all of which can improve their relationships with others. Finally, play therapy can increase personal strengths. Children can discover their interests, develop their creativity, enhance problem-solving skills, and build resilience through play. Playing in a therapeutic setting allows children to experiment, make mistakes, learn, and grow, increasing their confidence and self-esteem. The powers of play therapy extend far beyond the therapy room. They are integral to the child's communication, emotional wellness, social relationships, and personal strengths. By embracing the power of play, we can unlock potential in our children and set them on a path to a healthier, happier future. Looking for a good play therapist in Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs, or Plantation Florida? As a parent, it’s natural to want to see your child happy and healthy. Play therapy can be a powerful tool in helping your child overcome challenges and express themselves. By working with a play therapist, your child can develop skills that will serve them well throughout their lives. Your child can thrive and reach their full potential with the right support. If you’re interested in learning more about play therapy or finding a qualified therapist in your area who works with children and families, we can help. Contact us at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation. For more information about Maria Cordero, LMHC and her approach to EMDR Therapy, Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy, or Play Therapy for children, click here. Maria offers sessions at our beautiful offices in Plantation and Coral Springs, Florida. She also offers online sessions via our secure telehealth platform when appropriate (depending on the clients age and therapeutic goals).

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, commonly known as ADHD, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects both children and adults. It can manifest in various ways, often making it difficult to pinpoint without proper understanding and a comprehensive checklist. If you or someone you know has ever wondered whether they might have ADHD, then this checklist might serve as a useful guide. Disclaimer: This checklist is not meant to be a diagnostic tool. If you or someone you know shows signs of ADHD, it's crucial to consult with a medical professional for a thorough evaluation and diagnosis. 1. Inattention ADHD can often lead to struggles with maintaining attention. Some indicators of inattention include: Frequently overlooking details or making careless mistakes in work or during activities. Having difficulty in sustaining attention during tasks or play. Appearing not to listen when spoken to directly. Not following through on instructions and failing to complete tasks. Having problems with organizing tasks and activities. Avoiding tasks that require prolonged mental effort, such as schoolwork. Losing things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., pencils, books, tools). Being easily distracted by extraneous stimuli. Forgetfulness in daily activities. 2. Hyperactivity and Impulsivity While some people with ADHD might primarily struggle with inattention, others can show signs of hyperactivity and impulsivity: Fidgeting or tapping hands or feet. Unable to stay seated in situations where it's expected. Running or climbing in inappropriate situations (mostly in children). Unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly. Talking excessively. Blurting out answers before questions have been completed. Having difficulty waiting for one's turn. Interrupting or intruding on others' conversations or games. 3. Emotional Regulation Difficulties While not part of the core criteria for ADHD, many individuals with the condition experience challenges with emotional regulation: Quick to frustration or irritability. Difficulty handling disappointment or criticism. Sudden and intense mood swings. Impulsive reactions without consideration of consequences. 4. Challenges in Social Settings ADHD can also make navigating social situations more challenging: Difficulty maintaining friendships or interpersonal relationships. Misreading social cues or neglecting social norms. Interrupting conversations or dominating group interactions. Struggling with sharing or teamwork. 5. Executive Functioning Deficits Executive functions refer to the mental processes that help with managing time, paying attention, changing focus, planning and organizing, remembering details, and multitasking. People with ADHD often experience: Trouble with time management. Difficulty prioritizing tasks or organizing thoughts. Procrastination or avoiding tasks. Frequent forgetfulness or losing items. Difficulty transitioning from one task to another. 6. Sleep and Restlessness Many people with ADHD face challenges related to sleep: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. Restlessness or feeling the need to move, even when trying to relax. Waking up feeling unrefreshed despite a full night's sleep. Why is Recognizing ADHD Important? Recognizing and diagnosing ADHD is crucial because it can significantly impact an individual's daily life. Academic challenges, struggles at work, difficulties in relationships, and lowered self-esteem can all result from untreated ADHD. However, with a proper diagnosis and support, many people with ADHD lead successful and fulfilling lives. Counseling, medication, coaching, and coping strategies can assist in managing symptoms. The earlier ADHD is identified and addressed, the better the outcome generally is for the individual. ADHD is a complex neurodevelopmental disorder with a broad range of symptoms. This checklist serves as a guide for recognizing some common indicators. Remember, if you suspect you or someone you know may have ADHD, always consult a mental health professional for a comprehensive evaluation. There's a world of support out there – the first step is recognizing the signs. If you’re in need of additional support to diagnose or manage symptoms of ADHD, contact us for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. Dr. Heather Kuhl provides comprehensive psychological evaluations for children and adults at our Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs, and Plantation offices. Crystal Adkins provides evaluations and psychiatric medication management at all three office locations as well.

When it comes to relationships, one of the most beautiful aspects is the diversity that each partner brings to the table. Our differences are what makes life exciting, yet it can also create tensions in one’s relationship. One area of difference that often poses challenges is adhering to and believing in different religions. While this may seem like a tough obstacle to work through, it can also be an opportunity for growth, understanding, and deep connection. In this blog, I will explore how couples can navigate the difficulties of having different religions while maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Before entering into any discussion about differences in religion, couples need to be understanding and respectful in how they communicate. This can be a sensitive subject with many complexities, so being understanding and respectful will play a large part in whether there will be a positive or negative outcome. Couples who navigate these discussions productively do the following: Embrace Open Communication: The foundation of any successful relationship lies in open and honest communication. Begin by actively and reflectively listening to your partner's beliefs and values, allowing them to express themselves freely, without judgment , criticism or defensiveness. It’s important to create a safe space where both partners can voice thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values. Stay curious about what your partner has to say. Seek Clarifying Information and Knowledge: It’s often helpful to be proactive in learning about your partner's religion. Educate yourself on their practices, rituals, and core beliefs so as to gain added understanding. This not only enhances your understanding but also shows a genuine interest in their faith. Consider attending religious ceremonies together to deepen your bond. After-all, when we love someone, that means caring about their beliefs and values, even if they aren’t always aligned with our own. Respect Boundaries: Each individual has their own set of boundaries when it comes to practicing their religion. Understand and respect these boundaries without trying to impose your beliefs or expectations on your partner. Remember, a relationship thrives on mutual trust and acceptance. Avoid persuasion attempts towards your partner for this can lead to frustration and misunderstandings. Discuss Shared Values, Goals and Dreams: It’s important to connect on topics such as shared values, goals and dreams. Even though you and your partner have areas of difference doesn’t mean that your goals and values are all misaligned; I bet there are things you can agree on. Here are some areas to deepen the discussion: Explore Shared Values: Focus on the shared values and principles that both religions may have in common, such as compassion, love, forgiveness, and service to others. Emphasize these shared values as a means of strengthening your connection and building a solid foundation. Discover what you have in common such as feelings, goals, values and desired outcomes. The best way to do this is to ask questions. Dr. John Gottman created the Art of Compromise exercise which assists with exploring this information. Explore Rituals and Celebrations: Incorporate aspects of both religions into your daily lives or special occasions. This could mean participating in each other's religious holidays, lighting candles together, or creating joint traditions that honor both backgrounds. Accept each other’s holidays and make them things that you can do together. This assists with a couple's created shared meaning and a sense of being a “we” and “us”. Deepen Your Dialogue: Engage in thoughtful discussions about your respective beliefs, encouraging curiosity and exchanging perspectives. This dialogue can deepen your understanding of each other's faith while fostering mutual respect. In conclusion, having different religions in a relationship can lead to some challenges but can also foster love, growth, and unity if approached with openness, understanding, curiosity and respect. Embrace the beauty of diversity, invest time in building a solid foundation of understanding, and work together to find common ground. Remember, it's the shared values and love that truly define a relationship. By productively navigating the complexities of your different religions, you set the stage for healthy and positive relationship outcomes. If you’re in need of additional support in your relationship, couples counseling and marriage therapy can help! Contact me for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 so we can discuss how I can help you and your partner. I provide couples counseling and therapy for adults at our beautiful offices in Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs, Florida. I also provide online therapy for those who reside in the state of Florida. For more information about my counseling services for adults and couples, click here.

Resentment at times can feel all consuming- it can jeopardize our relationships with others and often does quite a bit of damage to the relationship we have with ourselves. When defining resentment, I think of it as this indignation of sorts, this feeling of having been violated by an injustice of any kind, leaving us with some version of anger or pain. What I notice most in my sessions is that the common experience with resentment is this overall quest for fairness. That often we use resentment as a means of protecting ourselves from future pain. Holding a grudge may give the illusion of punishing the other person and making things “fair” or just. Essentially, this distorted thinking is: “if I hold this grudge not only does the person who hurt me know never to do so again, but everyone else can receive that message and I can better protect myself”. The thing about resentment though, is that it becomes the poison we drink in hopes of hurting someone else. It keeps us stuck in emotional pain. It is important not to minimize the pain of being threatened, of feeling unsafe or being violated of whatever event that happened and however we feel about it. This isn't about ignoring the actual emotional fallout, it's to speak to a very beautiful point of holding space for both. This means allowing ourselves to be hurt and to experience the anger that does come initially when we're hurt. It is really important to allow yourself to feel this anger but then being able to shift into assuming responsibility for what feelings are now yours. Here’s an example of how resentment can play out: Let’s say I overstep my own limits/boundaries and find myself falling into “people pleasing” behavior… to the point of complete exhaustion. In this example, one may be prone to developing the resentment of “it must be nice” to not have to do XYZ, that is being handled by the people pleaser. In this example, it is important to become empowered in taking ownership for one's role in missed boundaries or missed communication and emphasizing those in the future so that future needs can be better met. This perspective can be empowering in creating space for positive change. Whether that be doing less of the things that no longer serve you, removing yourself from people or places that inflict pain and reflecting on ways to better protect yourself. In the documentary called “Stutz” on Netflix, a renowned therapist named Phil Stutz talks about this concept of active love. He encouraged the visualization of loving energy, encouraging listeners to imagine absorbing themselves into it completely, then taking that concentrated love and emitting it onto another person and/or negative experience you hold resentment for. In doing this, Phil Stutz proposes the question: “do you want to be right or do you want to create something new?” Allowing yourself permission to forgive and to love others helps you to release, accept and create space for positive change and connection. If you’d like to learn more about how counseling can help you learn how to effectively release resentments, I would be happy to speak with you about how I can help. Give me a call for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. For more information about me and my approach to therapy, please visit my page here.

What Is Sabotage In A Relationship? Self-sabotaging is when someone is displaying a pattern of behaviors that are creating a negative effect on one’s life. These behaviors can come from both the conscious or unconscious state and result in unfortunate consequences. In relationship terms, these behaviors result in conflict, arguments, and additional unhealthy dynamics including a relationship coming to an end. Being able to understand not only if you are self-sabotaging but what it looks like, why, and how to change these patterns is an essential part of growing and maturing both for yourself and your relationships. What Can It Look Like? Sabotaging relationships is something that can look different for many people as the reasons leading to the sabotaging are based on people’s experiences, personalities, mental health, and more. A relationship focused therapist can help you determine some of the reasons you may be self-sabotaging your relationship but may not fully understand why. However, there are some common patterns of what sabotaging relationships can look like. Here are a few common self-sabotage patterns: Four Horseman: There’s a theory that's been highly studied and discussed in the therapy world coined by famous couples therapists, The Gottman’s. It’s called The Four Horsemen. The four horsemen in this context are toxic relationship behaviors that can essentially doom a relationship if not corrected. They are criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. These behaviors are unhealthy patterns that can often be used in self-sabotage. It’s best to keep an eye out for any of the four horsemen if they are repeating themselves as they could be used as a way to push your partner away or put your partner down unnecessarily. Infidelity: A common way people push their partners away through sabotage is being unfaithful. Stepping outside the relationship whether emotionally or physically is often thought of as a sure-fire way to end a monogamous relationship, which explains why it is often used as a form of self-sabotage in this case. Assumptions: Oftentimes a relationship sabotager will jump to conclusions and make false assumptions about their partner. It could be displayed as assuming how they feel or why they did or didn't do something. It could also present itself in a way of assuming your partner is doing something they are not and creating this into your own reality. By doing so, you are leaving no room for mutual discussion and understanding. This is a common tactic used to push a partner away. Expectations: When we set expectations for someone we love and trust, they need to be communicated to give the person the opportunity to be able to fulfill these expectations. Or at the very least give them the chance to find a compromise about them. Relationship sabotagers often set expectations that were not discussed or are not clear to the partner leaving them with little chance to be successful. These unfulfilled expectations are then used as a way to push your partner away by saying they are not happy, don't get what they deserve, want and need, and eventually use this as a reason to leave the relationship. Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a term you have inevitably heard in today’s society. It is however a very common and unhealthy practice in relationships, and one that is often used by relationship sabotagers. A good example of how this is done is blame shifting. Not taking accountability for your own actions or flaws but shifting the blame to your partner is a common gaslighting tactic. “I only did this because you did that…” or “It wouldn't be this way if you only did this…” are common examples of gaslighting and blame shifting. This type of behavior on repeat is a dangerous game most likely leading to relationship turmoil and termination. Why Does It Happen? As stated earlier, no one’s life and experiences are the same. However, healthy relationships are built through love, affection, trust, quality communication, and mutual respect/support. Life is full of experiences that may throw off our ability to demonstrate these attributes effectively in relationships and translate to self-sabotage. Below are some of the most common reasons you may be sabotaging your relationship: Fear - Commitment, Abandonment: Fear of commitment and abandonment are common reasons for sabotage behaviors in a relationship. Fear is a powerful emotion that has the potential to create unhealthy responses to such feelings. When someone fears being left they may take actions to leave first, even if this was never going to be the case. Similarly, when someone fears stable commitment, they may engage in behaviors that prevent commitment from being possible such as cheating or becoming emotionally and physically unavailable. Insecurity: Poor self-esteem and deep insecurities are frequently an underlying cause of sabotage behaviors. When someone feels insecure and lacks self-assurance and esteem, they may push people away for feeling undeserving of the love and affection attempted by their partner. In addition, it is not uncommon for individuals with insecurity struggles to lack trust and confidence that these acts of love are genuine. This may lead to accusations and assumptions of lying and projection of fears such as their partner having affection for someone else or even cheating. Experience: Your dating history can have a huge impact on the way you behave in your current relationship. Whether you have a history of unhealthy/toxic relationships or you don't have a lot of relationship experience at all, both can lead to poorly handled emotions leading to self-sabotage. Some people call this “baggage” we carry from our past relationships. It's important to self-reflect on these matters and take action to grow and improve as an individual. Individual and couples therapy can be a great resource to learn how to break unhealthy habits we may have adopted from our past. Unresolved Trauma: Having any form of a traumatic experience in your life can have a significant impact on how we engage in relationships. Trauma is defined as an incident or series of events that creates a deep emotional reaction and has lasting effects/impacts on the one who experienced this trauma. Examples of trauma that can affect a relationship are being cheated on, verbally or physically abused, sexual assault, and manipulation. Additionally, traumas that took place in adolescence can have lasting impacts on your ability to connect and form healthy relationships as an adult. Experiencing neglect, abuse, or even a withholding of love/affection from a caregiver as a child can all lead to self-sabotaging behaviors in relationships. Again, therapy can be a vital tool to help process and heal traumas and allow you the opportunity to create the healthy loving relationships you deserve in your life. So How Do I Stop Sabotaging My Relationship? After understanding the how and why sabotage may present itself, the most important step to stop sabotaging your relationships is by admitting you may be doing so. You can identify these behaviors through self-reflection and processing, ideally with professional guidance in therapy. Once you do so, you're then able to begin learning the antidotes to your behaviors and implementing healthy relationship behaviors. These changes will not only stop your sabotaging but even strengthen your relationship to reach new healthy/stable grounds. Below I have compiled some of the most useful skills to begin changing your sabotage patterns. Authentic Communication: Learning to lean in to your true feelings is an important part of communicating authentically. You must be able to identify your emotions in order to be honest when communicating these feelings to your partner. Doing so not only enables healthy conflict resolution but is essential to getting your wants and needs met which avoids possible resentment down the line. By communicating authentically you are being your true self and that's exactly what you need and deserve to be in a healthy relationship. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude work is an excellent way to get your focus shifting from sabotage patterns to the positive, healthy dynamics of your relationship. If you take time everyday to identify the things in your relationship or about your partner that you are grateful for/proud of, you are creating a healthy pattern of expressing admiration and validation. These are relationship attributes that not only do we want and crave in loving relationships, but are needed to create lasting connection. Identify Triggers: Being able to understand the dynamics in your relationship or behaviors from your partner that are potentially triggering to your sabotage actions is an important step in working to eliminate them. If you know your triggers, you can communicate these clearly to your partner and work together to minimize or eliminate these things from the relationship altogether. Set Clear Expectations: As discussed earlier, it is so important to make sure you are clear and concise in communicating your expectations of your partner WITH your partner. Give them the opportunity to work with you and fulfill your needs and the chance to negotiate if they believe these expectations can not be met. This practice allows both partners an equal chance to work together to create happiness and fulfillment in the relationship. Learn About Your Attachment Style: Lastly, learning your attachment style is a great way to learn more about yourself and how you bond and connect with others. It can help you to better practice the above antidotes and learn how to navigate some instinctual triggers and patterns that may be sabotaging your relationship. The goal is to achieve a “secure” attachment style where both partners are able to reach healthy independence, trust, an openness to giving/receiving emotional support, and seek to fulfill each other's needs and wants. Therapy is an incredible resource to help you reflect on your childhood and life to further explore your attachment style and strengthen adult relationships. More About Me & My Relational Therapeutic Approach Although I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I work with individuals in addition to couples in relationships. I have extensive experience focusing on areas such as attachment styles, communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, trust building, and of course, helping those to create happy, healthy, and secure relationships If you or someone you know may need any form of relationship support, or specifically want help to work on how to stop sabotaging your relationship, please don't hesitate to contact Bayview Therapy today at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary phone consultation to discuss your therapy needs. I offer counseling for adults and couples at our beautiful office located in Plantation, Florida that can accommodate all your relationship needs. I also accommodate most online therapy requests through a secure telehealth platform to accommodate the busy hard workers with complex schedules. For more information about my approach or my services, visit my bio here. I look forward to speaking with you!

New York, Aug. 22... First Responders Children’s Foundation (FRCF), a national 501-c3 organization dedicated to serving the children of U.S. first responders, which includes firefighters, police officers, paramedics, EMTs, and 911 dispatchers, today announced that it will be providing up to 500 hours of mental health resilience counseling to struggling children of Florida first responders through a partnership with Bayview Therapy – a counseling and psychology group practice located in south Florida. In addition to mental health counseling, FRCF focuses on critical areas including scholarships, emergency financial hardship grants, bereavement grants, and disaster relief for the families of first responders who are directly affected by the very wildfires, tornadoes, floods, or hurricanes their loved ones are out battling. FRCF also has a robust community engagement program to help forge lasting relationships that build trust, inspire future first responders, and strengthen the bonds between communities and public safety agencies across the country. “Children of first responders can experience a variety of mental health issues due to the stress, trauma, and uncertainty that their parent(s) experience in their line of work,” said Jillian Crane, President and CEO of First Responders Children’s Foundation. “This can manifest in the form of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, sleep disturbances, and developmental delays. Children of first responders may need extra emotional support due to the high-stress environment that their family is in, so FRCF is making available to them up to 10 hours of counseling with culturally competent, trauma-trained therapists.” Dr. Kate Campbell - Founder & CEO at Bayview Therapy stated, “We are honored to partner with the First Responder Children’s Foundation to provide specialized counseling for the children and families of first responders.” Dr. Campbell went on to say, “First responders are not the only ones that have to deal with the unique demands of this dangerous and stressful career. Their children and families are impacted by the unique stress, anxiety, trauma, and secondary losses of their parent(s) shift work. Counseling with therapists who are experienced working with the children and families of first responders can help to boost resiliency, mental health, and overall well-being.” Ms. Crane emphasized that what’s raised in Florida stays in Florida: “We’re actively seeking support from individuals and corporate partners in the Sunshine State to expand the number of counseling slots and other services that we can make available to these children. Please stay tuned for future announcements!” Through the Resiliency Program, children (age 5 - 25) of first responders are eligible to receive up to 10 counseling sessions for free. They must have at least one parent who is a first responder and can apply by submitting an application. ABOUT FIRST RESPONDERS CHILDREN’S FOUNDATION (FRCF) First Responders Children’s Foundation is a national foundation that provides programs and resources that address the specific needs of children of first responders. The Foundation focuses on critical areas, including scholarships, financial assistance grants; bereavement assistance, mental health counseling for children; disaster relief; and community engagement programs to foster positive relationships between first responder agencies and the communities they serve. FRCF was founded over 22 years ago in response to 9/11 when 800 children lost a first responder parent. Additional information about FRCF can be found at www.1stRCF.org and on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @1strcf. ABOUT BAYVIEW THERAPY Bayview Therapy is a premier counseling and psychology group practice with offices located in Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs, and Plantation Florida. They also provide online counseling across the state of Florida. Since 2011, Dr. Kate Campbell (Founder & CEO) and the Bayview team has provided counseling, psychological evaluations, and psychiatric medication for children, adults, couples, and families dealing with a broad range of challenges. Bayview has a strong passion for helping first responders and their families boost resilience, mental health, and overall well-being.

In the depths of a teenager's soul, battles are silently waged, unseen by the outside world. These battles are not fought with swords or shields but with whispers of doubt, suffocating waves of anxiety, and the weight of negative self-perception. It is a war that can consume thoughts, distorts truths, and shapes how one handles all areas of life. Daily, countless adolescents wrestle with the harsh reality of negative self-perception, self-esteem, and self-worth. Troubles in their past taught them a distorted idea of who they are —unworthy, unlovable, defective. This silent torment breeds anxiety and depression, creating a darkness that engulfs their youthful spirit. We can change that together. Imagine a world where the weight of negative self-perception is lifted and where the heavy chains of anxiety and depression are shattered- a world where adolescents can flourish, along with their self-esteem. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an incredible tool for unlocking this world of possibilities, allowing teens to reclaim their lives, rewire their brains, and rediscover their inner strength. Teens who overcome negative self-perception prevent larger issues into adulthood. The consequences of negative self-perception in teens are profound. As a time of self-discovery and identity development, the teen years are incredibly formative. How teens learn to talk to and about themselves will affect them for years. A teenager's negative view of themselves can act as an expanding force, gradually eroding self-esteem and self-worth. Adolescents who see themselves in a negative light struggle with feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and a persistent sense of defectiveness. This distorted self-view can affect relationships, academic performance, and moods. It becomes a breeding ground for anxiety and depression as constant self-doubt and harsh self-criticism take root in their minds. Teens with negative self-perceptions often experience heightened stress levels, social withdrawal, and a lack of motivation. These emotional struggles can further aggravate their feelings of inadequacy, trapping them in a vicious cycle that hinders them from reaching their full potential. Increasingly, EMDR has been used to address the negative self-view of teens and allow them to experience a change in perspective to a positive one. EMDR Therapy with Teens EMDR therapy is a comprehensive approach that integrates elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and bilateral stimulation techniques. By tailoring EMDR to suit the unique needs of adolescents, therapists can facilitate profound healing and positive change. Initially developed to help individuals recover from traumatic experiences, EMDR’s application has expanded to address a wide range of mental health issues that people of all ages (including teens) face daily. EMDR aims to alleviate distress by facilitating the processing of traumatic memories and negative beliefs associated with them. Not only has EMDR therapy proven effective with adults, it is equally beneficial for teenagers. EMDR adapts to suit the unique challenges and specific news of adolescents. Skilled therapists combine the core principles of EMDR with age-appropriate language, creative techniques, and a safe therapeutic environment to engage teens effectively. EMDR therapy offers teenagers a path to resolve traumatic memories, whether from a single event or multiple experiences. By reprocessing these memories, EMDR reduces emotional distress, improving well-being. The benefits of EMDR Therapy for teens: Transforms negative beliefs into realistic and self-affirming beliefs Alleviates anxiety and depression Enhances coping skills Increases interpersonal skills for better relationships Provides long-lasting results Improves emotional regulation Boosts confidence in all areas Promotes personal growth and empowerment Supports better sleep with fewer disturbances It's important to note that the benefits of EMDR therapy may vary for each individual, and a comprehensive assessment by a qualified professional is recommended to determine best treatment options. EMDR’s resource phase While each of EMDR’s 8 phases is critical in guiding the systemic and structured process of healing, the resource phase holds particular importance in resolving trauma and developing adaptive coping skills for teens. During this phase, therapists collaborate closely with teenagers to envision a safe place and tap into their inner strength, cultivating resilience for the later stages of EMDR treatment. These resources provide stability and support, enabling teens to offset discomfort by focusing on the negative memories that have been feeding their anxiety or depression. One of the key highlights of the resource phase is the significance of parental involvement. Parents create a nurturing environment that fosters trust and growth by actively engaging in their child’s treatment. Collaboration and Support: The critical role of Parents in EMDR Therapy EMDR therapy for teens addresses the complexities of anxiety and depression head-on. It delves deep into the underlying traumas and negative self-perceptions contributing to their emotional distress. Parents become a vital source of collaboration and support by actively engaging in their child's therapy. By staying informed, reinforcing positive belief statements at home, and embracing open communication, parents lay the foundation for a successful EMDR experience. As parents, you possess a wealth of knowledge about your child's experiences and emotions. Sharing this valuable information with the EMDR therapist allows for a more comprehensive understanding of your teenager's needs. Your role extends beyond sharing information; you are their source of strength and encouragement. Providing a safe and supportive environment at home fosters trust and enhances the therapeutic process. Collaboration and support are the cornerstones of EMDR therapy for teens. Together, we can empower your teenager to overcome anxiety, depression, and other emotional hurdles, guiding them towards a brighter, more resilient future. Unlock a brighter future through EMDR Therapy with Bayview Therapy With EMDR therapy, a transformational path awaits. Through a combination of evidence-based techniques and a safe therapeutic environment, we guide teenagers towards healing and growth. EMDR enables teens to process traumatic memories, release emotional distress, and develop positive coping strategies. By rewriting negative self-perceptions, EMDR empowers teenagers to cultivate a healthier self-image and embrace a life filled with renewed confidence. At Bayview Therapy, our therapists understand the unique needs of teenagers and the importance of parental involvement. Together, we forge a collaborative partnership with parents to provide comprehensive support throughout the EMDR journey. Our goal is to unlock your teen's potential, instill resilience, and empower them to thrive in all aspects of life. Contact our teen therapist Alexa von Oertzen today at 954-391-5305 to embark on a life-changing journey towards a brighter future with EMDR therapy at Bayview. As a teen and family therapy specialist, Alexa offers a wealth of experience in helping teens overcome emotional challenges, including anxiety, depression, and negative self-perception. Alexa provides counseling at our Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs counseling offices. She also provides online counseling via our secure telehealth platform for those who reside in Florida.