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Returning to work after maternity leave is a significant transition for many mothers. It brings a mix of emotions, including excitement about re-entering the workforce and anxiety about managing new responsibilities at home and work. The journey can be overwhelming, but incorporating self-care strategies can make this transition smoother and more manageable. In this blog, we’ll explore effective self-care practices for mothers returning to work after maternity leave, helping you prioritize your well-being while balancing your professional and personal life. Understanding the Transition The Emotional Rollercoaster Returning to work after maternity leave can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Many mothers experience a range of emotions, including: Guilt:  You may feel guilty about leaving your baby in someone else’s care, questioning whether you’re making the right choice. Anxiety:  Concerns about juggling work and parenting responsibilities can lead to feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. Excitement:  The prospect of re-engaging with your professional life can also bring excitement and motivation. The Importance of Self-Care Prioritizing self-care during this transition is crucial. Self-care is not selfish; it’s an essential component of maintaining physical and emotional well-being. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to handle the challenges of motherhood and work, ultimately benefiting both you and your family. Self-Care Strategies for Mothers Returning to Work 1. Establish a Routine Creating a consistent daily routine can provide structure and stability, making it easier to transition back to work. Morning Rituals:  Start your day with a positive morning ritual. This could include meditation, stretching, or enjoying a cup of tea before the chaos begins. Setting aside this time for yourself can help you approach the day with a clear mind. Work Schedule:  Develop a schedule that accommodates both your work and family responsibilities. Consider using a planner to organize your tasks and commitments. 2. Set Boundaries Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Define Work Hours:  Clearly communicate your work hours to your employer and family. Ensure that you dedicate time to focus on work without distractions. Family Time:  Establish boundaries around family time as well. Prioritize quality time with your baby and family members without work interruptions. 3. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and can help reduce stress and anxiety . Mindful Breathing:  Incorporate mindful breathing exercises into your daily routine. Take a few moments to focus on your breath, allowing yourself to be present and calm. Mindful Eating:  When eating, take the time to savor each bite. This practice can enhance your relationship with food and promote overall well-being. 4. Prioritize Physical Health Taking care of your physical health is essential for managing stress and maintaining energy levels. Exercise:  Engage in regular physical activity. Whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or a workout, exercise can boost your mood and energy levels. Nutrition:  Focus on a balanced diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Proper nutrition fuels your body and mind, helping you stay energized throughout the day. Sleep Hygiene:  Prioritize good sleep hygiene to ensure you’re well-rested. Aim for a consistent sleep schedule and create a calming bedtime routine to improve the quality of your sleep. 5. Seek Support Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals during this transition. Talk to Your Partner:  Open communication with your partner is vital. Discuss your feelings, challenges, and expectations regarding the transition back to work. Working together can help alleviate stress and create a supportive environment. Join a Support Group:  Consider joining a support group for mothers returning to work . Connecting with others who are experiencing similar challenges can provide emotional support and practical advice. Professional Counseling:  If you’re feeling overwhelmed, seeking support from a counselor can be beneficial. A professional can help you navigate your emotions and develop effective coping strategies. 6. Manage Guilt and Anxiety Guilt and anxiety are common emotions for mothers returning to work. It’s important to address these feelings head-on. Challenge Negative Thoughts:  When feelings of guilt arise, challenge those thoughts. Remind yourself that you’re making the best decisions for yourself and your family. Affirmations:  Practice positive affirmations to combat negative self-talk. Repeat phrases such as, “I am doing my best,” and “It’s okay to ask for help.” 7. Stay Connected Maintaining connections with your support system can provide emotional relief and a sense of community. Check-In with Friends:  Schedule regular catch-ups with friends, whether in person or virtually. Maintaining social connections can enhance your mood and provide a break from daily responsibilities. Engage with Colleagues:  Reconnecting with colleagues can help ease the transition back to work. Share your experiences and challenges, and consider scheduling coffee breaks or lunch outings. 8. Embrace Flexibility Life with a newborn is unpredictable, and embracing flexibility can reduce stress and anxiety. Be Adaptable:  Understand that plans may change, and it’s okay to adjust your expectations. Embrace the unpredictability of parenting and find joy in spontaneous moments. Adjust Work Goals:  If necessary, discuss the possibility of adjusting your work goals or schedule with your employer. Open communication about your needs can lead to a more manageable transition. 9. Celebrate Small Wins Recognizing and celebrating small victories can boost your confidence and motivation. Acknowledge Achievements:  Take time to acknowledge your achievements, whether big or small. Celebrate completing tasks at work, spending quality time with your baby, or simply getting through a challenging day. Reward Yourself:  Treat yourself to something special when you reach personal or professional milestones. It could be as simple as enjoying a favorite snack or taking a relaxing bath. 10. Focus on Quality Over Quantity When spending time with your baby or family, focus on the quality of your interactions rather than the quantity. Engage Fully:  When you are with your baby, engage fully in the moment. Put away distractions and focus on bonding through play, reading, or simply enjoying each other’s company. Mindful Moments:  Practice mindfulness during family activities. This can help enhance your connection and create meaningful memories. Need More Support with Managing Transition From Maternity Leave? Counseling Can Help! Returning to work after maternity leave is a significant transition that can bring about a range of emotions. Prioritizing self-care is essential for navigating this journey successfully. By implementing effective self-care strategies, maintaining open communication, and seeking support, mothers can ease the transition back to work while nurturing their well-being. If you’re in need of additional support for managing this transition or improving your mental health, counseling can help! We offer counseling for adults and couples who want to enhance their relationships and well-being. Our counselors are experts in working with children, families, couples, and adults struggling with various life challenges. We provide counseling at our Fort Lauderdale , Coral Springs , and Plantation offices for those residing in South Florida. We also offer online therapy via our secure telehealth platform. Call us at 954-391-5305  for your complimentary consultation to discuss how we can assist you. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. We’re here for you!

Healthy boundaries are essential for fostering balanced and respectful relationships. They help define where one person ends and another begins, ensuring that interactions are respectful and nurturing rather than invasive or damaging. In this blog, we'll explore the concept of boundaries, why they're important, and practical strategies for establishing and maintaining them in various aspects of your life. Understanding Healthy Boundaries What Are Boundaries? Boundaries are limits or rules we set for ourselves and others in relationships. They help us maintain our personal space, protect our emotional well-being, and ensure that our needs are met. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or mental, and they vary depending on the context and individuals involved. Physical Boundaries:  These involve personal space and physical touch. For example, you might have boundaries about how close others can stand to you or how comfortable you are with physical contact. Emotional Boundaries:  These relate to your feelings and how much you share with others. For instance, you might set boundaries around how much emotional support you’re willing to provide or how you expect others to handle your feelings. Mental Boundaries:  These involve your thoughts and beliefs. They dictate how much influence others have over your opinions and mental space. An example would be maintaining your own opinions despite external pressure to conform. Why Are Boundaries Important? Healthy boundaries are crucial for several reasons: Self-Respect:  Boundaries help you maintain self-respect and avoid situations that make you feel uncomfortable or disrespected. Healthy Relationships:  They foster balanced and respectful relationships by clearly defining expectations and limits. Emotional Well-being:  Boundaries protect your mental and emotional health, helping you manage stress and avoid burnout . Personal Growth:  Setting boundaries allows you to focus on your own needs and goals, leading to personal growth and self-improvement. Strategies for Building Healthy Boundaries 1. Identify Your Needs and Limits: Understanding your own needs and limits is the first step in setting effective boundaries. Reflect on the areas where you feel overwhelmed, disrespected, or taken advantage of. Ask yourself: What situations or behaviors make me feel uncomfortable? What are my emotional and physical limits? What do I need to feel respected and valued in my relationships? By identifying these needs and limits, you can begin to establish boundaries that will protect and enhance your well-being. 2. Communicate Clearly and Assertively: Once you’ve identified your boundaries, it’s important to communicate them clearly and assertively. Here’s how to do it: Be Direct:  Use clear and direct language when stating your boundaries. Avoid vague statements and be specific about what you need or expect. Be Assertive:   Assertiveness is key to setting boundaries . Express your needs and limits confidently, without being aggressive or passive. Use “I” Statements:  Frame your boundaries using “I” statements to focus on your feelings and needs. For example, “I need some quiet time in the evenings to relax” rather than “You’re always too loud at night.” 3. Practice Self-Care: Self-care is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries. Prioritize activities and practices that support your physical, emotional, and mental well-being: Set Aside Time for Yourself:  Ensure you have regular time for activities that rejuvenate and relax you. Engage in Healthy Activities:  Participate in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or mindfulness practices. 4. Be Consistent: Consistency is crucial in maintaining boundaries. Once you’ve set boundaries, stick to them. Here’s how to ensure consistency: Reinforce Boundaries:  If someone crosses your boundaries, calmly and consistently reinforce them. Restate your limits and the importance of respecting them. Maintain Your Limits:  Avoid bending your boundaries to accommodate others’ demands. Consistently adhering to your limits helps establish respect and clarity. 5. Handle Boundary Violations Constructively: Inevitably, there will be times when your boundaries are tested or violated. Handle these situations constructively by: Addressing Violations Calmly:  If someone violates your boundaries, address it calmly and assertively. Explain how the violation impacts you and restate your boundaries. Seek Resolution:  Work towards a resolution that respects both your boundaries and the other person’s needs. This might involve negotiating or adjusting boundaries as needed. 6. Reassess and Adjust Boundaries as Needed: Boundaries are not static; they may need to be reassessed and adjusted over time. Regularly review your boundaries to ensure they continue to serve your needs effectively: Evaluate Changes:  Consider any changes in your life or relationships that might necessitate adjustments to your boundaries. Be Flexible:  Be open to adjusting your boundaries as needed, while maintaining respect for yourself and others. Tips for Maintaining Boundaries in Different Contexts 1. In Personal Relationships: Healthy boundaries in personal relationships, such as with friends and family, involve: Setting Limits on Time and Energy:  Decide how much time and energy you can invest in relationships without feeling drained. Maintaining Personal Space:  Communicate your need for personal space and alone time when necessary. 2. In Professional Settings: In professional settings, boundaries might involve: Defining Work Hours:   Set clear boundaries around your work hours and avoid working outside of those times. Managing Workload:  Communicate your limits regarding workload and tasks to avoid burnout. 3. In Parenting: As a parent, boundaries can help in: Balancing Parental Roles:  Set boundaries between your role as a parent and other aspects of your life to maintain a healthy balance. Respecting Your Child’s Space:  Respect your child’s need for independence and personal space as they grow. Need More Support with Building and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries? Counseling Can Help! Building and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for personal well-being and the health of your relationships. By identifying your needs and limits, communicating clearly, practicing self-care, and being consistent, you can create a respectful and balanced environment in all areas of your life. Remember that boundaries are a dynamic aspect of relationships and may need to be adjusted as circumstances change. If you’re in need of additional support for navigating boundaries or improving your relationships, counseling can help! At Bayview Therapy, we offer counseling for adults and couples who are looking to enhance their relationships and overall well-being. Our experienced counselors are skilled in working with individuals, families, and couples to address a variety of challenges and goals. We provide counseling at our Fort Lauderdale , Coral Springs , and Plantation offices for those residing in South Florida, as well as online therapy through our secure telehealth platform. Call us at 954-391-5305  for your complimentary consultation so we can discuss how we can assist you. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. We’re here for you!

If you yourself don't struggle with anxiety, you are a rarity and one of the lucky ones! The truth of the matter is that anxiety affects ⅓ of adults in the US, and this number could realistically be A LOT higher as many suffer in silence without diagnosis, help, or treatment.  Anxiety treatment involves therapy and often in combination with medication. Unfortunately, anxiety can strike in the worst and most random times. But this is not an article to explain exactly what anxiety is, if you've found your way here, you probably already know that you or someone you know has anxiety and wants some support to better manage it.  As a therapist who specializes in anxiety management, it is an essential part of the treatment process to develop a set of coping skills that work for you to manage anxiety on your own in those difficult times when anxiety rears its ugly head. Unfortunately, everyone’s anxiety symptoms are unique and it's not a one size fits all disorder. Luckily, there are a lot of skills that can be used to cope with anxiety that we all can use and practice to ax that pesky anxiety.  Below are a few skills to help you better manage anxiety:  Take a Deep Breath:   Deep breathing is one of the number one recommended coping skills for anxiety . There are many ways to practice deep breathing, you can google or Youtube a few and pick one you may like, but the focus is on deep prolonged breath with control. This will calm your heart rate down, and when the body relaxes the mind can follow. My favorite deep breathing skill to use and teach is what I call “Battery Breathing”.  Here's How To Do It : Think of your body like an empty battery that needs recharging. Breathe all of your breath out and focus on your core. Slowly breathe in through your nose and fill your stomach up with air. Next, instead of letting your breath out, think of your chest as the next part of your battery, and continue to breathe in, filling up your lungs. Lastly, before releasing all your breath, fill up the rest of your battery all the way up your chest and throat. Then slowly release your breath with your mouth. It is most effective if you repeat at a slow pace at least 3 times. The best part about deep breathing for anxiety is you can use it anywhere/any time.  Get Grounded:  When we are anxious our mind is often racing about the past, the future, fears, and other irrational thinking. Grounding techniques aim to bring you back to the present where you feel in control and “grounded” in your current state. My favorite grounding technique doubles as thought distraction to help stimulate your senses and redirect your thoughts to the here and now, things you can control. It's called the 5,4,3,2,1 technique and it's simple.   Here's How To Do It:  Get comfortable in a sitting position with your feet placed on the ground. Begin by acknowledging 5 things in your vicinity that you can see. Next, 4 things you can touch. 3 things you can hear. Moving on to 2 things you can smell. And finally, 1 thing you can taste. Take your time with it, focus, and get grounded.  Control Your Environment:  This is more effective than you may think. Your environment has a huge impact on your mind and body, sometimes creating anxiety and a stress response. Whether it is removing yourself from a crowded place, taking a walk outside, getting fresh air, controlling the temperature, or putting on a comforting movie. Changing the current environment you are in that is giving you anxiety can be a quick and easy skill to reduce the current anxious spike you may be feeling.  Challenge Thoughts:   Anxiety can come from stressful thinking patterns rooted in irrational thoughts. These irrational thinking patterns are super stressful and can often have us believing our thoughts to be true, when they are in fact not. The quickest way to deal with this problem before it spirals out of control is to identify these thinking patterns and begin challenging these thoughts.  Here’s How To Do It:  Identify the irrational thought you are having and challenge it with a fact or the opposite of the irrational thought happening. For example, if you are at an event and anxious that everyone is looking at or judging you, challenge that thought with the opposite such as “there are a lot of people here there is no reason anyone would be looking at just me”. The most important thing to remember is as real as they may feel, your anxious thoughts are NOT facts. It is even useful to repeat this mantra to yourself during these times. “ My thoughts are not facts ”. Activate Your Vagus Nerve:  The vagus nerve is an essential nerve connecting the brain to various organs and parts of our body. So it is no surprise that the vagus nerve is very important to mental health regulation. It can work for you or against you, so learning how to activate the vagus nerve to support your anxiety is a quick way to feel better and respond more effectively to emotional and anxious moments.  Here’s How To Do It: There are many ways to stimulate your vagus nerve to help you effectively manage anxiety. Cold exposure such as a cold shower, ice bath, or putting your face in cold water for at least 30 seconds is an excellent way to stimulate the nerve. It reduces the fight or flight response which is often an anxiety trigger. Humming or singing is also effective. Exercise and body massages also are helpful in stimulating the nerve. Lastly, laughing! Laughing is a great way to reduce your stress hormones and activate the vagus nerve. Put on your favorite comedy or get together with your friends.  Additional Quick Tips to Manage Anxiety: Avoid your triggers when possible (a trigger is something specific you know gives/gave you anxiety in the past) Avoid alcohol and drugs Avoid nicotine and tobacco Keep a healthy diet  Move your body, exercise is medicine!   Get enough sleep Keep a good support system Do some research, find and try as many coping strategies as you can! As a disclaimer, these coping skills are not GUARANTEED to work for everyone, as I stated everyone's anxiety is unique . With this list, I am aiming to help people find QUICK and useful coping skills for moments when they are needing some support.  If you are struggling to manage your anxiety symptoms by practicing these more generic coping skills, it may be time to seek out therapy with an anxiety expert so you can dig deeper in your own anxiety and develop a more tailored and specific treatment plan for you.  With anxiety being so prominent in the lives of so many, help is readily available. If you or someone you know may need some support managing their anxiety, please don't hesitate to contact Bayview Therapy today at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary phone consultation to discuss your therapy needs and ask to speak with Jamie Ratowski, LMFT .  I offer counseling for adults and couples at our beautiful office located in   Plantation, Florida . I also accommodate most online therapy requests through a secure   telehealth platform .

Exciting News: Nicole Ambrose is Now a Certified EMDR Therapist! We are delighted to share that our very own Nicole Ambrose , LCSW has officially achieved her certification as an EMDR Therapist! For over a decade, Nicole has dedicated her career to helping individuals overcome challenges such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and trauma/PTSD. Her commitment to supporting clients on their journey toward greater peace, happiness, and fulfillment is truly inspiring. Having trained extensively in EMDR therapy , Nicole has recently completed a rigorous certification process, marking a significant milestone in her professional development. We are excited to celebrate this achievement and grateful to have her as a vital part of the Bayview Therapy team! What is EMDR Therapy? EMDR Therapy ( Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing ) is a well-researched and effective therapeutic approach designed to assist individuals in processing past trauma, anxiety, and emotional distress. By targeting the memories that are “stuck,” EMDR therapy helps facilitate emotional healing and encourages healthier coping mechanisms. One of the key components of EMDR therapy is bilateral stimulation, which involves engaging both hemispheres of the brain. This can be accomplished in various ways, such as having the therapist guide you to follow their finger with your eyes or utilizing audio tones or tactile sensations. This method helps “unlodge” the memories, allowing you to process and integrate them more effectively. Benefits of EMDR Therapy for Various Mental Health Challenges: Trauma and PTSD : EMDR is particularly effective for individuals dealing with trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder. By processing traumatic memories, clients can reduce symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and heightened anxiety. Anxiety : Many individuals struggle with anxiety disorders, characterized by excessive worry and fear. EMDR helps address the root causes of anxiety, enabling clients to process and release distressing memories that contribute to their anxious feelings. Panic Disorders : Those who experience panic attacks can find relief through EMDR therapy. By exploring and processing memories related to panic, clients can reduce their fear of future attacks and regain control over their lives. Depression : EMDR can aid individuals experiencing depression by addressing negative beliefs and unresolved emotions. Clients learn to reframe their thoughts and cultivate a more positive outlook on life. Grief and Loss : Losing a loved one can lead to intense feelings of grief and sorrow. EMDR therapy can facilitate the healing process, helping individuals navigate their grief and find a way to move forward. Relationship Concerns : EMDR can also support those facing challenges in their relationships. By addressing personal emotional barriers, clients can improve communication and connection with their partners. Performance Issues : Whether in sports, academics, or the workplace, performance anxiety can hinder success. EMDR helps individuals overcome self-doubt and limiting beliefs, enhancing their ability to perform at their best. Unhealthy Behaviors and Recovery : For those struggling with addiction or unhealthy habits, EMDR can help identify underlying emotional issues and promote healthier coping strategies, facilitating recovery. Low Self-Esteem : Many individuals grapple with feelings of inadequacy. EMDR allows clients to challenge negative self-perceptions and build a stronger, more positive self-image. And More : EMDR therapy is versatile and can be applied to a wide range of psychological concerns, making it a valuable tool for anyone seeking emotional healing. Get Started With EMDR Therapy in Coral Springs, Florida: At our Coral Springs  office and through our secure telehealth  platform, Nicole offers counseling and EMDR therapy specifically for adults. Her expertise in this transformative therapy can help clients process and heal from past traumas, enabling them to live more fulfilling lives. A heartfelt thank you to Nicole for your unwavering passion, dedication, and commitment to making a positive impact in our South Florida community. If you or someone you know could benefit from EMDR therapy  to address anxiety, depression, or trauma/PTSD, don't hesitate to reach out to Nicole for a complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 . Together, you can explore how EMDR can facilitate healing and growth.

Grieving the loss of a loved one is an intensely personal experience, and when children are involved, it can add layers of complexity to an already challenging situation. As a parent, supporting your child through grief while managing your own emotions can feel overwhelming. This blog will explore effective strategies for helping your child navigate their grief and foster a supportive environment for healing. Understanding Children's Grief Grief manifests differently at various stages of development. Understanding how children process loss based on their age and developmental stage is crucial for providing appropriate support. Here’s a general overview: Young Children (Ages 2-6):  At this stage, children may not fully grasp the permanence of death. They might exhibit regressive behaviors, such as increased clinginess or changes in sleeping patterns. They often need reassurance and simple, honest explanations about the loss. Early Elementary Age (Ages 7-10):  Children in this age group begin to understand the finality of death but may struggle with feelings of guilt or confusion. They might express their grief through behavioral changes or difficulty concentrating in school. Preteens (Ages 11-13):  Preteens can have a more nuanced understanding of death but may struggle with intense emotions and identity issues. They might withdraw from family, experience mood swings, or engage in risky behaviors. Teenagers (Ages 14-18):  Teenagers often have an adult-like understanding of death but may still find it difficult to express their feelings. They might experience deep sadness, anger, or anxiety and may seek support from friends rather than family. Strategies for Supporting Your Child Through Grief 1. Communicate Openly and Honestly Honest communication is essential when helping your child cope with loss. Tailor your explanations to their developmental level and encourage them to ask questions. Here’s how: Be Clear and Simple:  Use age-appropriate language to explain what has happened. Avoid euphemisms like "gone to sleep" as they can be confusing for young children. Encourage Questions:  Allow your child to express their thoughts and ask questions. Answer them honestly but gently, and reassure them that it’s okay to have these feelings. 2. Provide Reassurance and Stability During times of grief, children need reassurance and stability. Maintain routines and offer a sense of normalcy to help your child feel secure. Consider: Maintaining Routine:  Keep daily routines as consistent as possible. Familiar routines provide comfort and stability during periods of upheaval. Offering Comfort:  Provide physical comfort, such as hugs or holding their hand, and be available to talk when they need to. 3. Encourage Expression of Feelings Allow your child to express their grief in ways that are meaningful to them. This might include: Creative Outlets:  Encourage activities like drawing, writing, or playing that can help your child express their feelings. Open Discussions:  Foster an environment where it’s okay to talk about their feelings and memories of the person who has passed away. 4. Model Healthy Coping Strategies Children often learn how to manage their emotions by observing their parents. Model healthy coping strategies and self-care: Express Your Feelings:  Show that it’s okay to express emotions and seek support. Let your child see you handle your grief in a healthy way. Practice Self-Care:  Take care of your own emotional needs. Engaging in self-care and seeking support for yourself will enable you to be more present and supportive for your child. 5. Provide Opportunities for Remembrance Creating opportunities for remembrance can help your child process their grief: Create Rituals:  Engage in rituals that honor the memory of the loved one, such as lighting a candle or sharing stories. Keep Mementos:  Maintain a memory box or scrapbook with photos, letters, or other meaningful items related to the deceased. 6. Seek Professional Support If you notice that your child is struggling significantly with their grief or if their behavior changes dramatically, consider seeking professional support . Therapy can offer: Individual Counseling:  A therapist can help your child work through their emotions in a safe and supportive environment. Family Therapy:  Family therapy can help address the collective impact of the loss and improve communication within the family. 7. Be Patient and Understanding Grief is a process that takes time, and each child’s journey is unique. Be patient and understanding: Allow for Adjustments:  Recognize that grief can be unpredictable and may surface at different times. Offer Consistent Support:  Provide ongoing support and check in with your child regularly about their feelings. Need More Support with Parenting Through Grief? Counseling Can Help! Supporting your child through grief while managing your own emotions is challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your bond and provide valuable guidance during a difficult time. By communicating openly, maintaining stability, encouraging emotional expression, and seeking professional support if needed, you can help your child navigate their grief and begin the healing process. If you’re in need of additional support for navigating grief or improving your family dynamics, counseling can help! At Bayview Therapy, we offer counseling for adults and families who are facing life’s challenges. Our experienced counselors specialize in working with children, families, couples, and adults, providing personalized support to meet your needs. We offer counseling at our Fort Lauderdale , Coral Springs , and Plantation offices for those residing in South Florida, as well as online therapy via our secure telehealth platform. Call us at 954-391-5305  for your complimentary consultation so we can discuss how we can assist you. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. We’re here for you!

Navigating relationships with in-laws can be one of the more challenging aspects of marriage. While many couples experience smooth and supportive interactions with their extended families, others find that conflicts with in-laws can strain their relationship. The dynamics between partners, in-laws, and extended family members can be complex, and managing these relationships requires communication, empathy, and strategy. In this blog, we’ll explore practical tips for handling in-law conflicts and maintaining a healthy, supportive partnership. Understanding the Dynamics of In-Law Conflicts In-law conflicts can arise from a variety of sources, including differences in values, expectations, and family traditions. Here are some common issues that couples may face with their in-laws: Overstepping Boundaries:  In-laws might overstep personal boundaries or offer unsolicited advice on parenting, finances, or lifestyle choices. Differences in Expectations:  Conflicting expectations regarding family roles, holiday traditions , or living arrangements can lead to disagreements. Competing Loyalties:  Navigating loyalty between your partner and your family can sometimes create tension, especially if there are differing opinions or loyalties involved. Communication Breakdown:  Misunderstandings or lack of clear communication can exacerbate conflicts and contribute to ongoing issues. Tips for Managing In-Law Conflicts 1. Communicate Openly with Your Partner Effective communication with your partner is the foundation for managing in-law conflicts. It’s important to: Discuss Concerns:  Share your feelings and concerns about in-law interactions with your partner in a calm and constructive manner. Collaborate on Solutions:  Work together to identify potential solutions or strategies for addressing conflicts with in-laws. Support Each Other:  Provide mutual support and understanding, acknowledging that both partners may have different perspectives on the issue. 2. Establish Boundaries Setting and maintaining clear boundaries is essential for preventing conflicts and preserving your relationship. Consider: Defining Limits:  Discuss and agree on specific boundaries with your partner, such as frequency of visits, involvement in decision-making, or areas where you need privacy. Communicating Boundaries:  Politely and assertively communicate these boundaries to your in-laws when necessary, ensuring that you do so respectfully. 3. Practice Empathy and Understanding Empathy can help bridge gaps and reduce tension. Try to: Understand Their Perspective:  Acknowledge that your in-laws may have their own values, expectations, and experiences that influence their behavior. Validate Their Feelings:  Even if you disagree, show respect for their feelings and perspectives, which can help de-escalate conflicts. 4. Create a Unified Front Presenting a unified front to your in-laws is crucial for maintaining consistency and clarity. Ensure that: You’re on the Same Page:  Agree on how to handle specific issues or conflicts before discussing them with your in-laws. Present a Cohesive Approach:   Address conflicts as a team , demonstrating that you are united in your decisions and actions. 5. Choose Your Battles Not every issue with in-laws requires confrontation. Assess the importance of the conflict and consider: Prioritizing Issues:  Focus on resolving conflicts that significantly impact your relationship or family well-being, and let go of minor grievances. Finding Compromises:  Look for ways to compromise or find middle ground, rather than engaging in prolonged disputes over less critical matters. 6. Maintain Respect and Civility Regardless of the conflict, maintaining respect and civility is important. This includes: Avoiding Personal Attacks:  Address issues without resorting to personal attacks or criticism. Staying Calm:  Manage your emotions and respond to conflicts calmly and constructively. 7. Set Aside Quality Time for Your Partner Ensure that your relationship remains a priority by: Scheduling Regular Time Together:   Spend quality time with your partner to strengthen your bond and maintain connection. Reaffirming Your Commitment:  Regularly affirm your commitment to each other and address any issues or concerns together. 8. Seek Mediation or Professional Help If conflicts with in-laws persist and become overwhelming, consider seeking mediation or professional help. This can include: Family Counseling:  Engage in family counseling or therapy to address deeper issues and improve communication. Professional Guidance:  Seek guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide strategies for managing conflicts and enhancing relationships. Need Help with Managing In-Law Conflicts? Counseling Can Help! Handling in-law conflicts requires thoughtful communication, empathy, and strategic planning. By prioritizing your relationship, setting clear boundaries, and practicing respectful engagement, you can effectively manage these challenges and strengthen your partnership. Remember that addressing conflicts constructively can lead to better understanding and more harmonious family dynamics. If you’re in need of additional support for managing in-law conflicts or improving your relationship, counseling can help! At Bayview Therapy, we offer counseling for adults and couples who want to enhance their relationships and address life’s challenges. Our experienced counselors are skilled in working with children, families, and adults, providing personalized support to meet your needs. We offer counseling at our Fort Lauderdale , Coral Springs , and Plantation offices for those residing in South Florida, as well as online therapy via our secure telehealth platform. Call us at 954-391-5305  for your complimentary consultation so we can discuss how we can assist you. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. We’re here for you!

In prior articles, I've discussed the three stages of affair recovery based on the Gottman couples training methods: Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment . Each stage is unique, and you can read more about it in my previous article .   This article delves into Stage Two: Attunement , providing guidance for navigating this challenging part of the affair recovery process. Stage One Review: Atonement The Atonement Stage  begins when an affair is discovered, an event that often shakes the couple to their core. Couples describe this stage as an emotional rollercoaster, filled with unpredictable ups and downs and a world turned upside down. Here, the couple must confront the painful reality of betrayal . Initial shock and trauma can be overwhelming, leading to intense emotions such as anger, sadness, and confusion. Some couples bypass therapy or delay seeking help, risking their relationship's stability. Others may find the pain of betrayal unbearable, leading to quick separations; or they may return to the status quo, missing the chance to affair-proof their marriage .  In therapy, I encourage clients to tap into their internal and external resources, fostering resilience and a renewed commitment to each other. Delving Deeper into Stage Two: Attunement The Attunement Stage , which I affectionately call the "messy middle," focuses on restoring broken connections between partners. This stage is vital for rebuilding trust and intimacy and addressing the underlying issues that may have contributed to the affair. The Cascade of Events Leading to Infidelity Once emotions stabilize and the trauma from the betrayal subsides, we may explore the elements of John Gottman’s research on the stages of disconnection that lead to an affair. While he describes 24 steps devolving into affair territory, I’ll summarize the stages this way: Initial Spark : Relationships begin with excitement and connection, but as life unfolds, partners may feel adrift in routine. Emotional Disconnection : Conversations become mundane, and the bond feels like a chasm between them. Resentment Builds : Distance can lead to minor irritations escalating into major conflicts. Seeking Validation : One partner may seek validation outside the relationship, leading to flirtation and eventually an emotional affair. Secrecy and Guilt : What starts as an innocent connection quickly evolves into a physical affair, wrapped in secrecy and lies. Exploring the weak links opening a couple up to betrayal is in no way intended to foist blame on the betrayed, nor excuse the betrayer of his/her infidelity; rather it is intended to observe the subtle ways we turn away from each other over time, and show the couple how to return to connection once they identify their patterns or cycles disconnection and protection. Because exploring vulnerabilities in a relationship can be painful, using the empathic and accepting stance of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy can be beneficial. By reframing events through an attachment lens, partners can recognize how emotional wounds lead to hiding and eroding bonds over time. As the Integral Therapist, I blend the best of the tools and learning I have regarding affair recovery, to tailor treatment to the couple’s unique situation. Goals of the Attunement Stage The goal of attunement is to create a deeper emotional connection and foster mutual understanding. During this stage, the betraying partner must maintain honesty and empathy, being transparent about their actions and actively listening to their partner's pain. The betrayed partner continues to work on expressing their emotions constructively and being open to forgiveness. Beware of Turbulence  One big warning at this stage: It can be turbulent and unpredictable , with both partners feeling exhausted by the ongoing stress of recovery. Rebuilding trust is not linear, and setbacks are common. Vulnerabilities are examined, and the principle of "walls and windows" is emphasized for security.  This principle was popularized by psychologist Shirley Glass. It teaches us that couples should maintain open communication while keeping solid boundaries with those outside the marriage. This ensures that neither spouse engages in behavior that could sabotage the relationship. Gentleness is Craved As the couple lingers in the attunement stage, the betraying partner often craves gentleness and connection, requiring empathy and endurance when the betrayed partner cannot meet their needs. Hard as this is, I encourage couples not to quit on a bad day and to focus on the relationship they want.  While a betrayed partner may struggle with anger that may flare up suddenly at this stage, the betraying partner may struggle to articulate feelings of reassurance and refraining from defensiveness. They may feel beaten down by guilt or shame and feel they have no room to ask for relief or understanding. Communication issues often arise as they may perceive accusations rather than constructive dialogue. This stage is about learning to turn toward each other in moments of distress instead of turning away. It involves practicing patience, understanding, and non-defensive responses.  Tips for Effective Attunement Key strategies for attunement in relationships include: Awareness of Negative Emotions : Recognizing and addressing negative emotions constructively is essential. Turning Toward Each Other : Actively seek connection through small gestures of affection. Fostering Tolerance and Understanding : Be patient and empathetic, recognizing that healing takes time. Non-Defensive Responses : Respond to each other’s emotions without defensiveness, being open to feedback. Building Empathy : Understand and share each other’s feelings to foster a deeper emotional connection. Moving Forward Together As the couple stabilizes and attunes, we foster their attachment, a stage where trust may grow to a point where sex can again feel safe, and fear of abandonment or mistrust may be mindfully managed as a stressor, but with less charge and volatility.  Given the precarious nature of moving through stages of affair recovery , couples are encouraged to maintain activities that strengthen their bond: Schedule Regular Date Nights : Create time for connection and enjoyment. Establish Daily Rituals : Simple routines, like having morning coffee together, can foster closeness. Participate in Joint Projects : Working together on projects like gardening or home improvement fosters teamwork and collaboration. Explore New Experiences : Weekend getaways or local adventures can create positive memories. Seek Support from Friends and Family : Surround yourselves with loved ones who support your recovery process. Consider Therapy : Individual or couples therapy with a relationship expert who is knowledgeable about affair recovery can provide valuable guidance and support. While some couples may not make it through the attunement stage, this process can still be a valuable learning experience. Even if the relationship ends, the lessons learned can help both partners grow and move forward positively. As a therapist, my role is to guide them compassionately through this journey. Conclusion: The Journey of Affair Recovery Affair recovery is complex and challenging, but it is possible with commitment, empathy, and support. By understanding and navigating the stages of Atonement and Attunement , couples can rebuild trust and create a stronger, more resilient relationship. Whether they stay together or part ways, the journey through affair recovery can lead to personal growth and a deeper understanding of themselves and each other. If you need additional support as you navigate the aftermath of an affair or the affair recovery process, contact me for your complimentary phone consultation at 954-391-5305 . I provide counseling for adults and couples at our beautiful Fort Lauderdale and Plantation offices. I also offer online counseling via our secure telehealth platform.  You don’t have to do this alone, let me help you and your partner recover!

The arrival of a new baby is often a time of immense joy and excitement. However, for many new mothers, it can also bring about significant challenges, including postpartum anxiety. This condition, marked by intense worry, fear, and stress, can overshadow the happiness of new motherhood and impact a mother’s overall well-being. Understanding postpartum anxiety and learning effective strategies to manage it can make a profound difference in both a mother’s mental health and her ability to enjoy this special time with her baby. What is Postpartum Anxiety? Postpartum anxiety is a mental health condition that affects some women after childbirth. Unlike the more commonly known postpartum depression, which involves feelings of sadness and hopelessness, postpartum anxiety is characterized by excessive worry, fear, and anxiety. It can manifest in various ways, including: Persistent worry about the baby’s health and safety Overwhelming fear of making mistakes as a parent Difficulty sleeping or feeling restless Physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, or trembling Difficulty concentrating or making decisions These symptoms can interfere with a mother’s ability to care for her baby, manage daily responsibilities, and enjoy this transformative period of life. Recognizing the Signs Recognizing postpartum anxiety is the first step towards managing it effectively. Some common signs include: Excessive worry about your baby's health and well-being Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenthood Difficulty calming down or relaxing Persistent fear of something bad happening Irritability or mood swings If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms , it's essential to seek support and intervention. Remember, postpartum anxiety is a common condition and seeking help is a sign of strength. Strategies for Managing Postpartum Anxiety Managing postpartum anxiety involves a combination of self-care, support, and professional help. Here are several effective strategies that can help new mothers navigate this challenging time: Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques Mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety by promoting a sense of calm and present-moment awareness. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery can be beneficial. Incorporate these practices into your daily routine to manage stress and anxiety. Action Step:  Set aside a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness or relaxation techniques. Use apps or online resources to guide you through exercises that help calm your mind and body. Seek Professional Help Consulting with a mental health professional can provide valuable support and guidance. Therapists who specialize in postpartum mental health can offer strategies and tools to manage anxiety effectively. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one approach that can help identify and change negative thought patterns contributing to anxiety. Action Step:  Consider scheduling an appointment with a therapist who has experience working with new mothers. They can provide personalized strategies and support tailored to your needs. Build a Support System Having a strong support system is crucial for managing postpartum anxiety. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups to share your experiences and seek advice. Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can provide emotional support and practical help. Action Step:  Identify people in your life who can offer support and encouragement. Join a new mother’s group or online community to connect with others facing similar challenges. Establish a Routine Establishing a daily routine can provide a sense of structure and predictability, which can help reduce anxiety. Include regular activities such as feeding, napping, and self-care in your schedule. Having a routine can also help manage your time and prioritize self-care . Action Step:  Create a daily schedule that incorporates essential activities and self-care. Make adjustments as needed and be flexible with yourself. Prioritize Self-Care Taking care of yourself is essential for managing anxiety. Ensure you’re getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Self-care also includes setting aside time for relaxation and hobbies. Action Step:  Make self-care a priority by scheduling time for activities that help you recharge. Ask for help with baby care to create space for yourself. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol Caffeine and alcohol can exacerbate anxiety and disrupt sleep patterns. Consider reducing your intake of these substances to help manage your anxiety levels and improve your overall well-being. Action Step:  Monitor your consumption of caffeine and alcohol. Opt for healthier alternatives such as herbal teas or water to stay hydrated. Practice Positive Self-Talk Positive self-talk involves replacing negative or fearful thoughts with more constructive and reassuring statements. By challenging negative thoughts and focusing on positive affirmations, you can shift your mindset and reduce anxiety. Action Step:  Identify negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations . Practice self-compassion and remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments as a mother. Set Realistic Expectations It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself as a new mother. Understand that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and that it’s okay to ask for help. Avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to be perfect. Action Step:  Set achievable goals for yourself and be kind to yourself. Recognize that it’s okay to make mistakes and that seeking help is a sign of strength. Engage in Physical Activity Regular physical activity can help reduce anxiety and improve your mood. Incorporate gentle exercises such as walking, stretching, or yoga into your daily routine. Exercise can also improve sleep and increase your overall sense of well-being. Action Step:  Find a form of exercise that you enjoy and incorporate it into your routine. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate activity most days of the week. Explore Medication Options In some cases, medication may be recommended to manage postpartum anxiety. Consult with a healthcare provider to discuss your symptoms and explore medication options if needed. Medication can be a helpful adjunct to therapy and self-care strategies. Action Step:  Speak with your healthcare provider about your symptoms and explore medication options if necessary. Ensure that any medication is prescribed and monitored by a qualified professional. Need More Support with Managing Postpartum Anxiety? Counseling Can Help! Managing postpartum anxiety is essential for your well-being and your ability to enjoy this special time with your baby. By incorporating strategies such as mindfulness, seeking professional help , building a support system, and prioritizing self-care, you can effectively navigate this challenging period. Remember, you don’t have to face postpartum anxiety alone, and seeking support is a sign of strength. If you’re in need of additional support for managing postpartum anxiety, counseling can help! We offer counseling for adults and couples who want to improve their mental health and relationships. Our counselors are experts in working with individuals, families, and couples struggling with a wide variety of life’s challenges. We provide counseling at our Fort Lauderdale , Coral Springs , and Plantation offices for those who reside in South Florida. We also offer online therapy via our secure telehealth platform. Call us at 954-391-5305  for your complimentary consultation so we can discuss how we can help. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. We’re here for you!

Exam periods can be incredibly stressful for teenagers. The pressure to perform well, coupled with the challenges of balancing schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and social life, can take a toll on their mental health. As a parent, supporting your teen through this demanding time is crucial for their overall well-being and academic success. Here’s how you can provide the best support for your teen’s mental health during exam periods. 1. Understand the Pressure They’re Facing Teenagers often feel immense pressure to excel academically, which can be exacerbated by external expectations from parents, teachers, and peers. Recognizing the sources of this stress is the first step in offering effective support. Engage in conversations with your teen to understand their specific concerns and anxieties related to exams. Action Step:  Have a non-judgmental conversation with your teen about their feelings towards exams. Listen actively and validate their emotions, making it clear that you understand and empathize with their stress. 2. Encourage a Balanced Study Routine One of the most significant stressors for teens during exams is the pressure to study extensively, often leading to burnout. Help your teen develop a balanced study routine that includes breaks and leisure activities. Encourage them to use effective study techniques, such as the Pomodoro Technique , which involves studying for a set period followed by a short break. Action Step:  Assist your teen in creating a study schedule that includes dedicated study times, breaks, and activities they enjoy. Ensure that their schedule promotes a healthy balance between work and relaxation. 3. Promote Healthy Lifestyle Habits A healthy lifestyle can greatly impact mental health. Encourage your teen to maintain a balanced diet, get regular exercise, and prioritize sleep. Proper nutrition, physical activity, and adequate rest are essential for cognitive function and stress management. Action Step:  Support your teen in adopting healthy habits by preparing nutritious meals, encouraging physical activity, and setting consistent sleep schedules. Lead by example and make these habits a family priority. 4. Teach Stress Management Techniques Helping your teen develop effective stress management techniques can empower them to handle exam-related anxiety more effectively. Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can be beneficial in managing stress and promoting relaxation. Action Step:  Introduce your teen to various stress management techniques and encourage them to practice these regularly. Consider practicing mindfulness or relaxation exercises together to create a supportive environment. 5. Foster Open Communication Open communication is vital in supporting your teen’s mental health. Encourage them to express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment. Be available to listen and provide reassurance, and avoid adding additional pressure or expectations. Action Step:  Create an open line of communication with your teen by regularly checking in on their feelings and experiences. Reassure them that you are there to support them and offer a safe space for them to share their thoughts. 6. Set Realistic Expectations While it’s important to encourage your teen to do their best, setting unrealistic expectations can increase their stress levels. Help them set achievable goals and focus on their effort rather than just the outcome. Emphasize the importance of doing their best rather than achieving perfection. Action Step:  Discuss realistic goals and expectations with your teen. Celebrate their efforts and progress rather than solely focusing on grades or results. 7. Offer Practical Support Practical support can alleviate some of the stress associated with exams. This includes creating a conducive study environment, providing necessary resources, and helping with time management. Offer assistance in organizing study materials and ensuring they have everything they need to succeed. Action Step:  Help your teen set up a quiet and organized study space. Provide any necessary resources, such as study guides or stationery, and assist them in managing their study time effectively. 8. Encourage Social Support Social support plays a crucial role in managing stress. Encourage your teen to maintain connections with friends and engage in social activities that provide a break from studying. A supportive peer group can offer comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. Action Step:  Support your teen in maintaining social connections by encouraging them to spend time with friends and participate in social activities. A balanced social life can provide emotional support and reduce stress. 9. Monitor Their Mental Health Be attentive to changes in your teen’s behavior, mood, or academic performance. Signs of excessive stress or mental health issues may include changes in sleep patterns, withdrawal from activities, or increased irritability. If you notice concerning signs, consider seeking professional help with a therapist who specializes in working with teens and families. Action Step:   Monitor your teen’s behavior and emotional state during the exam period. If you observe significant changes or signs of distress, consult with a mental health professional for guidance and support with counseling for teens. 10. Model Stress Management As a parent, your approach to managing stress can influence your teen. Demonstrate healthy coping strategies and manage your own stress effectively. Your behavior can serve as a model for your teen, reinforcing the importance of self-care and stress management. Action Step:  Practice and model effective stress management techniques. Share your own strategies for handling stress with your teen and encourage them to adopt similar practices. Need More Support With Parenting Your Teen? Counseling Can Help! Supporting your teen’s mental health during exam periods involves understanding their stress, promoting healthy habits, and providing practical and emotional support. By fostering open communication, setting realistic expectations, and encouraging a balanced approach to studying, you can help your teen navigate this challenging time with greater resilience and well-being. Remember, your support and understanding play a crucial role in their success and mental health. If you’re in need of additional support for your teen’s mental health, counseling can help! We offer counseling for adults, couples, and families who want to improve their relationships and overall well-being. Our counselors are experts in working with children, teens, and adults struggling with a wide variety of life’s challenges. We provide counseling at our Fort Lauderdale , Coral Springs , and Plantation offices for those who reside in South Florida. We also offer online therapy via our secure telehealth platform. Call us at 954-391-5305  for your complimentary consultation so we can discuss how we can help. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. We’re here for you!

The following blog is about a relationship behavior that many of us fear, connect/relate to, or have personally engaged in within our own romantic relationship. This is the controversial relationship area of cheating ; this is something we have all heard of and unfortunately is a behavior that has existed since the dawn of conscious thought and certainly since the inception of monogamy and marriage. There are different perceptions regarding what constitutes cheating/infidelity . For some, it’s the physical act of intercourse, some define it as anything involving physical intimacy, and for others, it’s emotionally connecting to someone outside of the relationship. These definitions of what constitutes cheating are valid and encapsulate cheating behaviors. As a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in relationships and the science of love, I define cheating as anything that we would not do if our partner was with us and aware of our behaviors and choices. Basically, cheating is ANY breach of the relationship contract/code of ethics or anything that provokes feelings of discomfort in our partner due to behaviors that fall outside the co-created parameters of the union. This can be flirting, giving out our number to someone at the bar, sexting, intimate conversations or incessantly looking people up on social media and liking provocative pictures of them. Regardless of the way someone acts out, cheating is one of the most devastating experiences we can experience and can lead to a variety of consequences for both partners. However, if infidelity does occur, it does not have to be doom and gloom for the relationship. There is still hope and research has shown that breaking trust by cheating is not necessarily the biggest predictor of breakups or divorce. If this is something that you have experienced in your relationship, there are ways to repair it after this particular breach of trust. When I work with couples who are recovering after infidelity and betrayal, I take them through the Gottman Method’s stages of Atone Attune and Attach. According to Dr. Gottman, “ both partners must follow certain crucial steps to get past mistrust and resentment after betrayal ”. Remember, when someone engages in infidelity trust is broken, and we can no longer continue in the relationship as it was; relationship #1 is over and relationship #2 begins. These phases have some overlap, for even in the last phase of repair we are still engaging in helpful aspects of phase 1 and phase 2. Atone - This is a necessary component of the recovery process after infidelity. The phase of atonement involves exploring and processing the hurt partner’s hurt and trauma. The hurt partner asks questions while the betraying partner responds non-defensively and with empathy while committing to practice full transparency in the relationship. The betrayer MUST express deep remorse, even in the face of skepticism, and promises to never commit this behavior ever again. In this phase, the hurt partner is entitled to ask as many questions as he/she wants (with the exception of physical or sexual aspects of the affair). Those unhelpful questions have proven to be traumatizing and unproductive in the healing process. In this phase, we do not yet examine why the affair happened due to the risk of the hurt partner-facing blame. The atonement phase can be short or long depending on the couple. When the hurt partner no longer has any more questions, we are ready to move to the 2nd phase, attune. However, the betraying partner continues to be transparent in whatever ways the hurt partner requires and is demonstrating ways in which he or she is trustworthy . Attune- This phase involves rebuilding the relationship from the ground up and can take several months. In this phase, we are relearning how to exist and navigate the new version of our relationship. This means learning how to end conflict avoidance through the use of conflict management skills and communication techniques. Through these conflict management tools , we learn how to speak and listen in ways that are useful and productive, breaking the cycle of attack-defend that is common amongst couples. Here, we learn how to recognize signs of when conflict and communication are going awry and how to get back on track. Additionally, during this phase we now explore why the affair happened, not to justify or rationalize the betraying partner’s choices, but to offer an understanding of what set the stage for these behaviors. In order to avoid history from repeating itself, we must understand what played a part in an affair taking place. This requires examining several aspects of the relationship including what may not have been working and making necessary replacements in a couple’s interactional sequence. Attach- Of course, if a couple is determined to stay together, the ability to attune and connect must reach the bedroom. Dr. Gottman states that “ without the presence of sexual intimacy that is pleasurable to both, the relationship cannot begin again ”. This may feel difficult for the hurt partner who might still be harboring resentment, anger, and fear. The foundation for sexual intimacy is trust and connection, which will assist in avoiding potential romantic violations. The main component of sexual intimacy is friendship and emotionally intimate conversations. An experienced therapist may be required to assist with initially navigating these conversations. A therapist can spotlight helpful methods of communicating about this area of vulnerability that may feel scary to the hurt partner. In this phase, we are also recognizing positive interactions and successes while ritualizing new ways of connecting to each other. Previous ways of connecting may no longer be viable and may be linked to the affair or breach of trust . Recovering from an affair can be difficult and complex however it can absolutely be done and has been done by many couples! Affair recovery involves expressing and navigating hurt feelings, establishing new ways of connecting, discovering new methods of communicating and managing conflict, and going about the relationship in very different ways from before. If both partners are willing and able to commit and invest in developing new relationship dynamics while refusing to give up, recovery and healing are attainable. If you want support with repairing your relationship after infidelity or want to work on improving your communication, intimacy, and relationship goals, contact us for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 . You deserve this, so let us help. Jackie Schwartz, LMFT specializes in working with individuals and couples who want to live happier lives and have more fulfilling relationships. She provides counseling in Fort Lauderdale and Coral Springs, Florida. She also offers online counseling through our secure telehealth platform for those who live in the state of Florida. We look forward to working with you!

Yes, a marriage can survive infidelity . Is it going to be easy, No. It is one of the hardest things, if not the hardest, that couples will ever have to go through. However, there are great benefits for those who are willing to go through the process of understanding, healing, and repairing. These couples often develop a deeper bond and a more meaningful relationship than they ever had before. But it takes time and a willingness to get through this. There are no shortcuts. It is common for couples, especially the partner who had the affair, to say “ I said I was sorry, how many times do I have to say it? We just need to move forward and put this in the past. ” The problem with this is it leaves the other partner with unresolved feelings of anger , hurt, sadness, and a constant fear of “ is this going to happen again? ” These unresolved feelings will create emotional distance between them and come out in unhealthy and hurtful ways. Often leading to additional complications and problems in the relationship. This article will help you to know what to expect and what to look for as you move forward in repairing the marriage . To begin, it is highly unlikely that you and your partner are going to be able to truly work through this on your own. As you seek a couples counselor, you will want to look for someone who specializes in affair recovery and has experience helping couples to recover after infidelity. The more experience the better. Listed below are some of the things you will want your couples counselor to be able to provide for the affair recovery sessions : * The therapeutic atmosphere should be quiet, calm, and peaceful. A place where you feel completely safe and comfortable to say whatever you need to say while also knowing there is absolutely no judgment. There will be tense and angry moments, but your counselor will be there to guide and direct you through this extremely difficult time. *Thoughts and feelings need to be able to be expressed and heard in a healthy and supportive way. This is done by one person speaking and the other just listening. The person speaking will use “I” statements focusing on how they “feel” about what happened. They will avoid “you” statements by being careful not to criticize, shame, or blame their partner. *The other person is listening. They are focused on trying to understand what and why their partner is feeling what they are. When their partner is done speaking, they will offer feedback as to what they are understanding their partner to be saying. They will also be encouraged to ask their partner questions trying to get a deeper understanding of why they feel what they do. Then, they will reverse rolls and the other person is now the speaker and their partner is just listening. *The couple will have the opportunity to express to their partner what their needs are. “ What I need and want from you is … ” The other person will respond by saying “ yes, I am willing/able to do that ”, “ no, I’m not willing/able to do that ”, or “ can we talk a little more about what you need and want from me .” *You will learn and be able to accept things that your spouse is helping you to see that can contribute to better communication and a better relationship. Example, “ It would be easier for me to listen to what you are saying if your voice did not feel loud and aggressive to me .” The partner recognizes the value of what is being said and responds with “ You’re right. Thank you for pointing that out to me and helping me to see how that is destructive to our communication and rebuilding our relationship. ” *Rebuilding trust takes time and a commitment from the partner who broke the trust to earn it back. There is zero room to give your partner any reason to question you or wonder what you are doing. Do what you say you’re going to do, always. If you say you are going to be home at 6:00 be home at 6:00, not 6:05. *As you stay the course, the healing unfolds and slowly you and your partner begin to move forward in your lives together again. This can include learning more about each other’s interests, goals and their vision for your life together in the future. I encourage you to seek the help that you need to get through this difficult and challenging time. You deserve to have a happy, peaceful, and fulfilling relationship . Please feel free to contact me at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation so we can chat about how I can help you and your partner move forward in a positive direction. I look forward to speaking with you! I provide counseling for adults and couples in our beautiful Coral Springs offices and online through a secure telehealth platform for those who reside in the state of Florida. For more information about myself or my approach, click here .

Working with couples over the years has taught me that trust is of paramount importance in maintaining healthy relationships. Trust can take years to build and moments to destroy. Trust can be fragile and can be violated through various behaviors. However, some of the most impactful damage to trust is INFIDELITY . When an affair is discovered, a relationship can be decimated. Now it’s time to get to work and rebuild; this can take time and patience. Both partners need to show up ready and willing to approach the situation in ways that are productive. The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy that focuses on building trust and strengthening communication in relationships. Using the Gottman method, I take my couples therapy clients through stages of healing: Atone, Attune and Attach. Below is a summary of what goes into those stages of healing, to help earn a partner's trust after having an affair: 1. Acknowledge your partner's feelings - It is important to acknowledge your partner's feelings and emotions surrounding the affair. This means listening actively and empathetically to their side of the story, without being defensive or dismissive. 2. Take responsibility for your actions - In the Gottman Method, taking responsibility for your actions means acknowledging how your behavior has affected your partner and expressing genuine remorse for the pain you have caused. 3. Be transparent - Transparency is key to rebuilding trust . This means being honest and open about your actions, intentions, and feelings. It also means being willing to answer your partner's questions and discuss any concerns they may have. 4. Rebuild emotional connection - Emotional connection is the foundation of any healthy relationship. In the Gottman Method, rebuilding emotional connection means making time for regular check-ins, expressing appreciation for your partner, and finding ways to show love and affection. 5. Practice active listening - Active listening is a crucial component of effective communication. In the Gottman Method, active listening means focusing on your partner's words and emotions, without interrupting or getting defensive. It also means reflecting back what your partner has said to ensure you understand their perspective. 6. Make a plan for the future - Finally, in the Gottman Method, it is important to create a plan for moving forward. This means setting goals and creating a plan of action to rebuild trust, strengthen communication , and create a happier, healthier relationship. Couples counseling can help you rebuild your relationship after an affair. In conclusion, earning your partner's trust after having an affair requires a commitment to open and honest communication, emotional connection, and rebuilding trust. By using the Gottman Method to acknowledge your partner's feelings, take responsibility for your actions, be transparent, rebuild emotional connection, practice active listening, and make a plan for the future, you can work towards rebuilding trust and strengthening your relationship. If you’re struggling with trust issues, infidelity, communication, or intimacy in your relationship, contact us for your complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 . We offer counseling for couples and affair recovery counseling at our Fort Lauderdale, Coral Springs, and Plantation offices. Jackie Schwartz, LMFT provides counseling for adults and couples at our and Coral Springs offices and through online counseling via our secure telehealth platform. For more information about her therapy services, click here . We look forward to speaking with you to discuss how we can help you and your relationship.