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You know that couple. Everyone does. You long for their type of relationship. They just seem so… happy. It's keeping up with the Joneses, not for their house, car, or clothing, but their relationship. What do happy couples do differently and how can you and your partner become a happy couple? Before we go over the four secrets of a happy couple, it's important to remember that happiness looks different for every couple. One couple may relish a weekly date night to the latest new restaurant in town, while another couple might enjoy ordering in and watching a movie. No one approach to happiness is better than the other; in fact, because happy couples have found what works for them and their relationship, they experience greater happiness than if they were trying to force it. 4 Secrets to Happy Couples: 1. Communication The old adage is true: communication is key. Why do so many couples struggle with communication? Communication wasn't always a struggle, but at some point, communication took a backseat. The secret here is happy couples are communicating in more meaningful ways. This happens over time, especially for couples who've been together for longer periods of time because the novelty of the other person has worn off. You might think you know almost everything there is to know about your partner, but the fact is… there is always more to learn. Daily communication between couples can get relegated to “Hey, how was your day?” “Fine. Yours?” “Good”, especially when there are so many other things to do, like housework, child care, etc. This makes it important to really think about how we communicate with our partner, taking an active interest in his or her work, hobbies, and activities. 2. Quality Time Quality time is another key to being a happy couple that can get lost by the wayside as time passes. The secret here is happy couples are couples who are making time to spend quality time together. Couples who've been together longer may find their time together follows the same routine as their communication style: Friday night going out to dinner, Saturday yard work, Sunday household chores, work on Monday, repeat. This stagnation can lead to restlessness and boredom in the relationship. It's good to have a routine of waking up together, having coffee together, etc. yet a routine where you as a couple aren't actively connecting can push you apart instead of bringing you closer together. 3. Shared Goals I'd guess that one of the initial attractions to your partner was all of the dreams and you both shared for your future. Don't forget about these shared goals! They are absolutely necessary to happiness. Couples with shared goals find happiness in working towards achieving these goals. The secret here is happy couples are working towards their shared goals together. Goals give couples a sense of purpose and drive, a meaningful way to spend quality time together. It creates unity between the two individuals, rather than distance. Imagine how connected you feel to the passenger next to you on an airplane. Sure, you're physically headed in the same direction and bond over the time together on your flight, but your reason for heading in the same direction is completely different; maybe you're going on vacation while the passenger next to you is traveling for work. Now, imagine, or remember, how it feels to be on a flight or trip with your spouse. Not only are you two headed in the same direction, you are also headed there for the same reason. There's a greater feeling of connection between you two because you know when the flight ends, you'll get off together and continue together towards the same end. 4. Fair Fighting Happy couples fight. It's true! No matter how happy a couple is, they fight. The secret is, happy couples fight fair. Happiness in a relationship is not the absence of conflict, but managing conflict in a way that is constructive versus destructive. Just like there are rules in boxing about what's not okay in a fight, there are rules for when couples fight. Couples who fight fairly follow the “Don’ts” of: Don't name call or use derogatory language toward your partner Don’t respond with sarcasm or contempt Don't blame your partner And they use the “Dos” of: Do use “I feel” statements; “I feel upset when dishes aren’t done” Do work to understand your partner’s perspective and work toward compromises Do take responsibility for your part in the dynamic Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. When you fight, you can resolve your issues and concerns in a constructive manner and both of you walk away feeling closer to one another. There you have it, my 4 secrets for happy couples. Not so secret anymore! For any couple (or individual who is in a relationship) reading this and thinking, “I need help applying these secrets”, don’t hesitate! I offer marriage counseling and couples therapy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I’m just a phone call at 954-391-5305 or click away from helping you achieve your goals.

Happy June aka wedding month! That's right, 2.3 million couples wed every year to the tune of 72 billion dollars. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I can tell you that premarital counseling is the smartest investment a couple can make before tying the knot. Every year, I counsel couples who are married, dealing with issues that could have been prevented by addressing them during courtship or even during the engagement. What topics are discussed in premarital counseling? Here are a few examples: we explore expectations of yourself and your partner; roles and responsibilities for each partner; differences within generational patterns; what commitment means to each of you; strengths already present in your relationship; and areas that need to be strengthened. You may be in wedding prep-bliss at the moment and might not see any “potential” issues in your relationship, but trust me, you will run into conflict. No relationship is immune. Or you may be stressed attempting to navigate your mother’s and soon-to-be mother-in-law’s expectations while trying to stay true to what you and your partner envision for your upcoming wedding. Regardless of what your experience is, premarital counseling is the best investment you can make for a long-lasting healthy, and happy relationship. Here are 5 questions you should ask your partner before getting married: Do you want to have kids someday and if so, how many? This is an important question. For some people, not having kids is a deal-breaker. For some people, having kids is a deal-breaker. Both are valid and need to be discussed before the flowers are paid for. How do you want to handle disagreements? Every partner has a different communication and conflict style. If you’re a door slammer and he’s a leave the house to cool down guy, your communication skills, or lack thereof are not going to cut it. Conflict is inevitable and it’s how you manage it that makes the difference. You need to know how you’re going to respectfully handle disagreements. How will you discuss big household decisions? Who decides what tv or car you’re going to buy, and for that matter, who decides what school the kids are going to? Where will you be spending the holidays or going on vacation? It’s best to keep the lines of communication open to make big decisions together. How will you manage the finances? Will you have a joint account, separate accounts, or both? I see so many couples that argue over money and their different financial perspectives. He’s a big spender and she’s a big saver or vice versa. There are ways to work through financial differences by finding a balance. Premarital counseling can help you learn to appreciate the differences and make necessary compromises. Would you be willing to go to counseling if we have marital problems? One of the reasons I became a licensed marriage and family therapist is that I truly believe marriage counseling works. I have seen couples on the brink of disaster mend hurt feelings and find renewed love and respect. So there you have it, my 5 questions to ask before you get married. If you need help navigating these conversations before tying the knot, call us at (954) 391-5305 to schedule a session. For more information, about our Fort Lauderdale Premarital Counseling Services, visit our website.

It is no secret that we live in a time where depression and suicide rates are at an all-time high. Since 2007, teen suicide rates have risen steadily. In fact, the suicide rates for teen girls ages 15 to 19 doubled between 2007 and 2015, reaching the highest point in 40 years according to the CDC. Teen depression rates are also on the rise, and yet the stigma or fear of asking for help often leaves teens silent, and extremely vulnerable. We have had numerous high-profile suicides over the last several years, including Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain most recently. While these deaths have enticed some conversation about the importance of mental health treatment, I would like to highlight the importance of prevention. I would also like to talk to your parents because it is imperative to know what the warning signs are. Whether your teen is a high achieving, sociable and well-adjusted; or they’re struggling academically and having peer issues, this blog is relevant to you. Depression does not discriminate, and it sometimes hides in the most pristine packaging. A few years ago I worked with a teen client who was a straight-A student, captain of his football team, homecoming king, and ivy league bound. You name it, he was doing it and being the best at it. He hid his depression from everyone: family, teachers, friends. He thought if he ignored it, and achieved more, it would go away. He was wrong. The shame he felt about his depression was unbearable. The intense pressure to keep up being the best at everything he did, only exacerbated his feelings of loneliness, disconnection, and anxiety. Luckily, he got into counseling at a pivotal time, and together with his family we created a treatment plan to help him heal. I don’t know where he would be now if he hadn’t had the bravery to ask for help. Not all teens will ask, in fact, most won’t, and parents are often the last to know their child is depressed. So why am I talking to you, parents? Because YOU are your child’s biggest advocate. You can be the conduit that connects your child to the services they may need. Sometimes, symptoms of depression are not obvious. They are insidious and can be disguised as something else. For example, stomach aches, headaches, rashes; can all be physical manifestations of depression, and it’s easy to assume that these symptoms are completely unrelated to our emotions. There are the more obvious signs of teen depression-like social isolation, academic underachievement, peer issues, changes in mood and irritability, changes in sleep, loss of interest in activities, talk about suicide, and/or fascination with death, just to name a few. However, depression is expressed differently in every person. So it is important to talk to your kids, regardless if the things on this list apply to them. Let me make it clear too, that depression does not cause suicide. Depression, however, undoubtedly contributes to the agony and despair that one feels when one chooses to die by suicide. It is my firm belief that if we get our teens into therapy sooner, they can learn to manage their depression before it takes control of them. So what can you do as a parent? Check out my tips below. Trust your gut: Listen to your gut instinct. Your child may not appear to be struggling, and they may be telling you nothing is wrong. TRUST yourself. I have heard it before- “I don’t want to come across as a helicopter parent”, “I don’t want to pry or be overbearing.” Let me repeat. You are your child’s biggest advocate. Listen to your gut and trust yourself if you feel something is not right. Normalize going to therapy: Your child learns about the world from you. If you regard therapy as something unnecessary or pointless, most likely your child will too. Help your child break the stigma. Teach your children that therapy is healthy, and not for people who are “crazy” and “have issued”. Teach your children that going to therapy is brave and that it is a great way to prevent struggles down the road. Normalize your child’s experience: It is not always easy to sit and talk with your teens about concerns you may have, especially if you are concerned about their mental health. My biggest advice to parents gearing up to have some of these tough conversations is to normalize what your teen is going through. Let them know that millions of people are fighting depression and mental health issues every day. Share with them how brave it is to reach out and ask for help. If you have struggled with depression in your life, share this with your teen. Let them know it’s okay, that there are solutions, and they are not alone in their struggle. Let your child teach you, don’t make assumptions: When approaching a conversation like this with your teen, come from a place of curiosity. Have them educate you about what they are going through, don’t assume you know what they are going through. Let them explain what they are feeling. Even if you think you already know or have an understanding, let them be the expert on themselves. You approaching them from this one-down position helps you to be more relatable to your child. You are the expert in everything else, give this one to them. Cultivate meaningful relationships with your children’s friends: This is probably my favorite tip that I am sharing with you today. Parents are often the last to know their kid is depressed. But guess who is usually the first to know? Yep, you got it- their friends. Make an effort to get to know and have relationships with your teen’s friends. If they suspect that something is happening with your child, and they are concerned for their safety, they will want to come and tell you, but only if they feel that they can. I hope you found these tips useful. If you need help navigating these conversations with your teen, or you want to get your teen connected with a therapist, call me (Alex Gard, LMFT) today at 954.391.5305 to schedule a session. If you or anyone you know is currently struggling with suicidal thoughts or behaviors, please call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HELLO to 741-741 for free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line.

Anxiety! It’s a word that evokes a picture of a person shaking, wringing their hands, or fearfully peeking around a corner. In reality, anxiety can look like all or none of these. Many people don’t realize that anxiety manifests itself in different ways for different individuals. Anxiety typically shows up in at least one of three ways: Mentally- Anxiety can manifest itself through our thoughts. It’s like a video on loop, replaying negative thoughts. Or it may be picturing a disastrous scenario, anticipating a negative outcome. Physically- Anxiety can show up as stomach problems, tight muscles, fatigue, sleep problems, chest pains, shortness of breath, nausea, and even dizziness. Emotionally- Anxiety is often associated with emotions like worry and fear, but anxiety can also show up as anger, frustration, irritability, and insecurity. It’s not uncommon for a person to move through their life experiencing persistent anxiety without it being obvious to those around them. Before we move on, it’s important to clarify that all anxiety is not bad anxiety. Anxiety is what gets us up in the morning so we get to work on time or cautions us to check the stove to make sure it’s off before leaving the house. Anxiety becomes a problem when we aren’t able to control it. Instead, it starts to control us. For example, we wake several hours earlier than necessary because we aren’t able to sleep for fear of arriving to work late or checking the stove multiple times, unable to leave the house in a timely manner. If you think you may be struggling to manage your anxiety there are several ways you can cope. My first recommendation is to always speak with a mental health professional. A professional can help you determine if it’s anxiety and what may be causing it. Sometimes we don’t realize the impact that certain stressors or situations in our lives have on us until we have a chance to talk about them. In addition to speaking with a therapist, there are other coping techniques you can use. Let’s explore the different ways anxiety shows up and what to do about it: Mentally Become aware of your negative thinking patterns or negative self-talk. Learn to stop or replace your negative thoughts with thoughts that serve you better. For example, you might be thinking “My partner doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to understand me.” whereas a thought that might be more realistic and serve you better is “My partner is struggling to understand me and might be frustrated because of the struggle.” Learn to replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk. “I’m so stupid why did I do that?” can become “I made a mistake. I’m allowed to make mistakes and I can handle it.” Make it a point to listen to or read positive messages. Limit your exposure to negative media or other negative messages. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness doesn’t necessarily have to be meditation. It’s simply choosing to be totally aware and engaged in the present moment. This can be done while preparing dinner, walking, eating, or just sitting and tuning into the sounds around you. The only requirement is that you be here now. Physically Give that anxious energy something to do! Engage in a physical activity that interests you. This can be running, dancing, lifting weights, yoga, swimming, singing, playing with your kids, or having sex with your partner. Practice deep breathing techniques. Here is an example to get you started. Engross yourself in a hobby or pastime that you love. Emotionally Talk with a loved one or a trusted therapist to help you process your feelings. Write about your emotions in a journal or on a random piece of paper. Don’t pay attention to grammar or other writing rules, the only requirement is that you put down how you’re feeling. Feel free to throw it away if that makes you feel better. Engage in a spiritual practice that is meaningful for you. Pay attention to how your thoughts influence how you feel. Is there a thought that needs to be modified or replaced? You can apply techniques in all three areas at once or just choose to focus on one. It can be helpful for those who may struggle with emotional or mental coping skills to start with the physical first. When you are able to calm your body, your mind and emotions often follow. If you’d like more information about anxiety and how to manage it instead of it managing you, please contact me at 954-391-5305.

Having a baby is one of the most exciting, rewarding, and most challenging life transitions. Let’s face it, it’s both a happy and stressful time. Immediately after giving birth, you dive right into feeding every 2-3 hours around the clock, sleep-deprived nights, and major hormonal changes. Needless to say, it’s a HUGE adjustment. With all of these changes, couples can find themselves being more emotional, irritable, and zombie-tired, which can set them up for arguing more than usual. Research shows that marital dissatisfaction actually decreases significantly after having a baby. It’s vital that you take care of your relationship while navigating the uncharted waters as a first-time parent. The best gift you can give yourselves and your baby is a strong, happy, and healthy relationship. Here are my 4 tips on “How to Navigate the Transition from Couple to First Time Parents” Expectations - Have realistic expectations of yourself and your partner during the adjustment phase. Discuss roles and responsibilities. Don’t assume you’re on the same page about who will do what. Talk about your expectations as a new mom or dad and about your partner too. If you’re a new mom or about to be, here’s another article I wrote years ago that you might find helpful: 7 Realizations About Being a New Mom. Communication - Keep an open dialogue with each other. Make sure to check in with each other for at least 20 minutes a day to see how things are going, what each other needs, what challenges you and your partner are facing, and how you can support each other. Give each other feedback to ensure you’re both working as a team. Be Compassionate - Give each other the benefit of the doubt. Show compassion, understanding, and appreciation for yourself and your partner. Recognize your limitations, be flexible, and don’t try to do everything. It’s not humanly possible! Realize there’s a lot to adjust to as you find your new rhythm as new parents and a new level in your relationship as partners. Safeguard Your Relationship - Once you’re through the initial “survival mode” phase during the first few months, it’s important to realign your relationship and prioritize time to connect with your partner (just the two of you). Whether you have a family member or nanny come over to watch the baby or while the baby is sleeping, take time to nurture your connection with your partner. When you feel comfortable leaving the baby with someone else, take that opportunity to sneak away for a quick date and do something fun that reminds you of your life pre-baby. For more tips from Dr. Kate Campbell on How to Prioritize Your Relationship After Having Kids, watch this video. Keep in mind that you’re going through a big life transition for the first time ever and that will take time to work through all of the emotional, physical, mental, and sexual changes. It’s an incredible journey, but not easy, and can be complicated with more severe challenges such as postpartum mood disorders. Research shows that 70-80% of women struggle with the baby blues. 1 in 7 women suffer from more serious postpartum mood disorders such as postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety or OCD, or postpartum psychosis. If you or your partner are struggling with the baby blues or a postpartum mood disorder, they are wonderful resources to help. Reach out to Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT, and the team at Bayview Therapy to discuss setting up a session at 954-391-5305.

So many women I have treated over the years have referred to “ED” aka their Eating Disorder as a best friend and their worst enemy all at the same time. Going through the recovery process can sometimes feel like you are losing your best friend and maybe you are. However, in recovery you are opening the door for real connections and meaningful and healthy relationships, something ED is not fond of. Eating Disorders just don't show up for no reason. As we know, they have complex origins in biology, chemistry, environmental factors, personality, and family relationships. Eating disorders will often emerge innocently enough to help people deal with or manage a struggle in their lives. If you have ever struggled with an eating disorder some of the below statements may apply. “If I lose weight, I will feel more accepted by my peers and thus acceptable.” “It feels good to starve or be painfully full because then I don’t have to think about my trauma(s) and don’t have to feel the feelings associated with them.” “I am not good enough at the core, but if I look prettier or skinnier then maybe I could at least be ok on the outside, or at least nobody will know how rotten I am on the inside.” “I am so unhappy, but I can’t let anyone know. I don’t want to burden them, so I will take it out on myself.” “I have to be perfect, and everyone knows that skinny is perfect.” However, the above list is not exhaustive. There are many different struggles that the eating disorder emerges to help with. Although, it is not long before it turns on you and becomes the manipulative harmful enemy that I work everyday to help fight in my clients. One of the hardest parts of recovery is that those suffering continue to doubt that there is any other way to cope with their core issues than using their eating disorder. The eating disorder thoughts are manipulative and conniving and will emerge whenever a struggle with depression, anxiety or interpersonal issues arises to say, “Hey, I can help you with that. Turn to me and I can take it away for a moment or fix it for you.” But, it is never enough. Whether your eating disorder leads to weight loss or not, you can never be skinny enough, good enough, likable enough, or perfect enough. It pushes you deeper and deeper into the depths of despair and punishes you when you don’t comply with its every need. It pushes those who truly love you away and convinces you that you are not worthy of love or friendship unless your body is skinnier, and your eating or exercise behaviors are more “controlled.” Shame permeates throughout these disorders and perpetuates the behaviors that work to destroy the body and the mind, creating more shame. Some friend! However, the cycle can be stopped. Jenni Shaefer describes recovery as breaking up with ED and learning to live independently of that abusive relationship. It is not easy and often there are strong pulls to return to the relationship, as well as, selective memory of the “good times” that occurred throughout it. But, just like an abusive partner, ED does not welcome relationships that seek to threaten his existence and he pushes his victims to isolate. Essentially, ED works to keep them from healing through the validating connections they need to recover. He tries to convince you that he is all you need. Well, you don’t! You don’t need him, really you never did. He showed up at a difficult time with false promises of a better life and freedom from his struggles. However, those struggles are still there and he has added a whole other set of issues for you to have to deal with now. With sincerity, you can thank him for his attempts to help you in the past and work to move on in your life and away from his abuse. Easier said than done, of course, and you will need a lot of help and support to do so. Finding the right treatment team is essential in doing so. Let us fight alongside you and be that stronger force than ED when you need us to be. Help is available! If you are ready to separate from ED or want some more information on how to do so, please contact our Eating Disorder treatment team at Bayview Therapy at 954-391-5305. We are conveniently located in East Fort Lauderdale and offer individual and family therapy, as well as nutritional counseling provided by Certified Eating Disorder Specialists. We look forward to helping you break up with ED and find yourself again!

Across the board, no matter where you do your research, you’ll find a variant of the following four parenting styles: Authoritarian Neglectful Permissive Authoritative Different parenting styles have different effects and outcomes on children, some more effective and beneficial than others. With teenagers, parenting becomes more difficult dealing with rebellion, experimenting, hormones, mood swings, and more. Teenagers want independence, freedom to make their own choices, privacy, respect, and the list goes on. Tailoring your parenting style to effectively manage these difficult years is essential to the parent-teen relationship and their overall prosperity. In order to determine which parenting style you use and which is best to use with your teen, you must first have the knowledge of what each style is and how the styles look: Authoritarian: I often find myself explaining this parenting style as the “my way or the highway style”. It may also be called “The Disciplinarian”. Parents who use this style may call themselves “stern” or “strict”. Authoritarian parents have rules and these rules MUST be followed by their children. Explanations and additional communication are not a priority as the expectation is for the child to listen and obey “because I said so”. Neglectful: Also often called “ The Uninvolved” style. These parents are unresponsive, unavailable, and even in some cases unaware. These parents may be absent from their children’s lives and homes both emotionally and physically. Neglectful parents are also not active in providing for their child’s needs emotionally or physically, nor are they active in their day-to-day lives. *If you recognize any of these neglectful parenting style characteristics or know someone who demonstrates these concerning behaviors, don’t hesitate to call for help. Their children may be at risk of neglect and abuse. All Emergencies: 911 Florida Abuse Hotline: 1-800-96-ABUSE Online Abuse Reporting: http://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/abuse-hotline Permissive: When you hear permissive, think “permission”. Parents who practice a permissive parenting style tend to be lenient, easy-going, and give their children permission to do as they please. These parents often strive to be the “cool parent” or their children’s “best friend”. Permissive parents tend to have poor boundaries, structure, and minimal clear and concise rules. Authoritative: The authoritative parent practices boundaries, set rules, has realistic expectations, and gives support to their children. Authoritative parents provide appropriate consequences and discipline to their children. However, unlike the authoritarian parenting style, these parents provide explanations and help their children understand WHY the consequences are necessary. They do this through open communication and mutual respect. So what style is best for parenting a teenager? In reading these 4 parenting styles, one should have stood out as the “better” option. Authoritative Parenting has been proven to lead children on a path of more success, build their self-esteem, and foster responsibility to benefit them in the long run. Authoritative parents set rules, boundaries, reasonable expectations, and discipline their children as needed. With teenagers, authoritative parenting is essential to help teach them to make sound choices, evaluate safety risks, and assess consequences to their actions. However, as teens experiment and try new things, parents can too! It is totally fine to incorporate some of the concepts of the other parenting styles. For example, practicing some permissive parenting concepts such as giving your child space and privacy, letting them see “your fun side”, or making yourself available to be their “friend” can help to increase the bond and trust between you and your teen. In addition, authoritarian concepts such as strict rules and discipline can be applied if your teen is being overly disobedient. If you assure to have a strong base of the authoritative parenting style, it can be beneficial to mix it up from time to time. The teenage years are full of ups and downs so don’t be afraid to alter your approach as needed. If you or your teen are struggling with this complex time, there is help! Reach out to Jamie Ratowski to discuss setting up a session at 954-391-5305.

Let me take a step back for a minute. Imagine you go to the doctor with recurrent headaches, dizziness, and a fever. When you share these symptoms with your physician he may order blood tests, an MRI, or maybe a neurological work-up. They will gather this data to arrive at a diagnosis and develop a treatment plan to help you return to optimal health. The goal of a psychological evaluation is very similar, to diagnose mental health disorders. A psychologist starts by conducting an interview to get a thorough history of early development, medical history, academic or occupational functioning, family or social history, among other information depending on the reason for referral. The psychologist then selects a collection of tests designed to measure different skills or abilities including intelligence, academic performance, memory, attention, emotional functioning among many other specific skills. A psychologist may consult with other professionals involved such as therapists, teachers, or psychiatrists. Once all this data is gathered and interpreted, a detailed report is written with a diagnosis and treatment plan for what steps to take next. This information is reviewed in a feedback session to give the family or individual an opportunity to ask questions, review the findings, and come to a new understanding. This is a comprehensive process but ensures enough time and data to arrive at a proper diagnosis. And why is this process so important? Many mental health symptoms mimic others, therefore, a thorough understanding of symptoms is crucial to ensure the proper diagnosis. A child who presents with symptoms of ADHD may appear distracted and lost in thought or this may be due to anxiety and excessive worry. Or that child who frequently acts out in class and refuses to do homework may be oppositional and defiant, depressed, or have a learning disorder. Regardless, without concrete data, it can be hard to narrow down or confirm a diagnosis. Okay so I’ve hopefully de-mystified the process of psychological testing, now to discuss reasons for an evaluation. For children, common reasons for seeking a psychological evaluation may include: Delays in your child’s developmental milestones Difficulty learning, even though a child puts in the time and effort Problems with attention and concentration, such as being easily distracted and having difficulty starting or finishing tasks Emotional concerns such as unusual sadness, worry, or anger Social concerns such as difficulty making or keeping friends, or perhaps a total disinterest in other kids Adults may seek an evaluation for the following reasons Difficulties with attention and concentration A recent change in your memory, judgment, and mood Concerns about having ADHD Seeking confirmation of a mental health diagnosis that may have been made by a different provider (e.g., Is it depression, is it bipolar disorder, or possibly a personality issue?) Or maybe you plan to go to college and need accommodations on standardized testing or while at university. Regardless of the question, you have about yourself or your child, a psychological evaluation can be designed to meet your specific needs. Take the first step and call me today at (954) 391-5305 or visit my website today

Hi, I’m Jamie Ratowski, owner of Brightside Therapy Services located here in sunny South Florida. In my practice, I strive to help people reach their full potential and become the best version of themselves. In order to do this, we need to have strong, healthy self-esteem. With strong self-esteem your relationships will be more fulfilling, you will have the ability to make smarter, healthier decisions for yourself, and set yourself up to achieve more success. Today I want to share with you my 3 favorite tips to help boost your self-esteem! My first tip is: USE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS Positive affirmations are like little uplifting statements to focus on to boost your mood, increase confidence, and help with your overall motivation. Examples could be “I am BEAUTIFUL” or “good things are going to happen today”. The great thing about positive affirmations is that you can create your own as needed or simply type in “positive affirmations” in google and have thousands of affirmations available to you at your fingertips. Pinterest is always my go-to site when I’m choosing an affirmation. Positive affirmations are a great way to focus on feeling better, boosting your mood, and boosting your overall self-esteem. My second tip is: INCORPORATE MORE HEALTHY HABITS INTO YOUR LIFE Since we all have different likes, dislikes, and strengths, these habits are going to vary from person to person. Think about a time you did something good for yourself and how you felt after. Maybe you went to a spin class, read an intriguing book, went for a hike, or spent some time in the sun. Treating your mind, body, and soul well will reward you. I always feel like my best self after I have a really good workout with my trainer. Find the healthy things that make you happy and increase the frequency of these habits, this is a great way to feel better and boost self-esteem. My third and final tip is: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE This tip is self-explanatory. Positive people rub off on us. If we create a support system made up of positive, uplifting, motivational individuals we are likely to receive some of that motivation ourselves. These individuals can be anyone in our lives, friends, romantic partners, coworkers, or family. Anyone who is a good influence on you fits the profile. I never feel more at ease, happy, and supported than when I am with great people who care for me. Being happy, feeling motivated, and having support are all essential components of self-esteem. A little bonus tip is to eliminate as much of the negative influence and toxic relationships from your life as possible. These are the types of relationships that weaken our self-esteem. If self-esteem and self-confidence are something that you want to work more on, give me a call at 954-391-5305 to discuss the possibility of setting up an appointment. Thanks for taking the time to listen and I hope these tips were helpful!

Many people I’ve worked with have shared that they struggle with living on autopilot. They describe it as just going through the motions and they cannot truly live in the moment. They say this is exhausting. Practicing mindfulness can interrupt autopilot mode. Mindfulness is being connected to the present and being more aware of what is happening now. Practicing mindfulness allows you not to be easily swept away by your thoughts and emotions that can manifest as stress, anxiety, and depression. 1. Focuses on breathing. Simply bring your attention to your breath, direct your full focus to the sensations of breathing. Experience each inhale and exhale which will bring your awareness to the present. Slow and deep breaths also bring your nervous system back to its natural state of calm. 2. Focuses on any daily activity that you already do. I’ll use drinking coffee or tea for example. Instead of mechanically going through this moment, take time to slow down with this activity. Hold the cup with both hands and feel the warmth, be intentional about tasting each sip and taking in the aroma. By doing this you are bringing awareness & gratitude to the experience which is more satisfying. 3. Focus on your thoughts. Instead of pushing them away or avoiding them, simply observe them without judgment. Begin to develop a new relationship with your thoughts and loosen their hold on you. You will begin to see that thoughts are like visitors, you can invite them to come and go. If you want more information on ways to release anxiety, work through depression, and live more fully in the present, you can call today at 954-391-5305 or visit my website. I look forward to helping you live more in the present moment!

Marriage counseling is when two married people seek help to enhance and strengthen their marriage. Couples counseling is when two people who are in a relationship seek counseling. Most likely it’s going to be with someone who’s really an expert in working with relationships, such as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. They have specific training which focuses on looking at their relationship from a systemic perspective. When two individuals come together, fall in love, and get married for better or worse, they each have very different backgrounds and are most likely wired differently. Everyone learns about communication differently, how to give and receive love, and how to manage conflict in different ways from their family of origin. When couples come together and get married, it’s an exciting time. However, it can be quite the transition, because it’s a merging of two different people with two different backgrounds. A marriage therapist is going to be someone who can help you to define areas in your relationship that need to be strengthened and then give you strategies to strengthen the areas that you struggle in. These sessions may focus on a wide range of topics such as communication or even how to handle big transitions such as transitioning from two to three with bringing a little bundle of joy home or maybe it’s a big move or perhaps it’s even family issues that might be going on with extended family or the in-laws. Couples counseling or marriage therapy can also be a great resource for more serious challenges such as betrayals and trust issues. Whether it’s substance abuse or someone has had an affair or there is ongoing infidelity in the relationship. Regardless of the challenges, marriage and couples counseling can help in a lot of different ways. No relationship is immune from conflict. Conflict is actually healthy for relationships as long as it is managed in a way that is constructive rather than destructive. That’s where marriage therapy can really be a wonderful asset. There’s no more important step that you can take to really value your relationship than investing in counseling. If you’re interested in learning more about how marriage therapy or couples counseling can help you in your relationship, give us a call today at 954-391-5305. In addition to Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT - founder of Bayview Therapy, we have several relationship experts on our team who would be happy to help. Give us a call to connect with your therapist today. We look forward to speaking with you!

We can spend so much of our life focused on external relationships and situations that we often lose touch with ourselves. It isn’t until we are experiencing the impact of that disconnection (angst, sadness, numbness, confusion, lack of confidence, feeling depleted, etc.) that we realize there’s a problem. Sometimes it gets referred to as “low self-esteem”; however, it really goes much deeper than self-esteem…we have neglected or never built a relationship with ourselves. Before we can truly begin to improve the external factors in our life, we have to do some work inside. Inner work can entail many things, but one of the fundamentals is establishing a connection with you. 3 Tips to Build a Healthy Relationship with YOU Start by taking notice of how you treat the most important person/people in your life? What kind of attention do you give them? How do you show them you care? In general, how do you try to communicate with them? Now take notice of how you treat yourself. How much attention do you pay to your emotional and physical needs? If you were to take a birds-eye view of your life, how do you demonstrate that you genuinely care about yourself? Pay attention to self-talk and even how you refer to yourself when talking to other people There are many things we do without noticing that send a message to our subconscious about how we really feel about ourselves and that manifests. Ask yourself, if you treated your loved ones the way you treat yourself, what would that relationship look like? ​Over the next couple of days tune into a couple of things: What activities/situations/ people do you look forward to engaging with? What are the physical, emotional, and mental signs that you enjoy? What activities/situations/ people do dread engaging with? What are the physical, emotional, and mental signs that you dread these? Try to determine what it is about these situations that cause you to feel this way. How much time energy do you invest in the activities that you find engaging versus the ones you dread? Find a way to make more time for 1-2 activities/situations/people that you noticed bring you joy in the next 3 days. By doing this brief exercise, you are doing several things for yourself. You are taking to the time to become self-aware, attuned to your values, and creating space and time for what matters to you. Taking the time to reconnect and build a healthier relationship with you is not being selfish, self-centered, or narcissistic. In fact, it can actually improve your relationships and help you show up as your best self in all areas of your life. If you’re interested in learning more about building a healthy relationship with yourself and the impact it can have on your life visit my website.