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Spring has always been one of my favorite seasons! It represents hope, growth, possibilities, and new beginnings. Now that I live in South Florida, the seasons are much more subtle, but I’m always mindful of them. Just as the seasons change, people, partners, and relationships change. I specialize in working with couples who are experiencing various life transitions. Some transitions are obvious such as the excitement of bringing home a newborn or the painful process of going through a divorce. Others are subtle such as losing sight of your relationship while raising children or drifting apart over time due to busy work schedules. With spring in the air, it’s the perfect time to reflect on the climate of your relationship and identify areas where you might need to do a little ‘spring cleaning’. According to relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman, couples with the most relational satisfaction are those who maintain positive regard, deep friendship, and support each other's hopes for the future. Here are 5 tips to spring clean your relationship informed by Gottman’s research: 1) Maintain a Positive Perspective. Your outlook directly influences what you see in your partner and how you experience the relationship. Notice the things you appreciate and let your partner know about them! When a relationship hits a rough patch, it’s easy to fall into the trap of minimizing, dismissing, or ignoring the positive things that happen. This builds negativity over time. Don’t take things for granted! Plant seeds of fondness and appreciation within your relationship and watch the positivity grow. 2) Strengthen Your Friendship. How well do you know your partner? Do you know their likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams? Deep friendships are the foundation for trust, commitment, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction in relationships. To deepen your friendship, ask your partner opened-ended questions, share meaningful stories, spend quality time together, try new activities, and have fun creating new memories! 3) Invest in Your Emotional Bank Account. We all know what a financial bank account is, but how often do you make deposits in your relationship’s emotional bank account? Each time you turn toward your partner to offer support, kindness, affection, humor or engage in a meaningful conversation, you’re building up a reserve. This savings account represents trust and security, which can help you weather the storm when conflict arises and stay connected through times of difficultly. 4) Manage Conflict Constructively. Everyone experiences conflict in relationships. Whether it’s a small disagreement or a blow-out fight, it’s the way they’re discussed that makes the difference. Constructive conflict can help you learn to better love and understand your partner. To avoid destructive conflict, take some time to calm down before dialoguing about problems. Most importantly, keep criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness at bay aka the ‘Four Horsemen’. 5) Build Shared Meaning. Talk with your partner about their life dreams and explore how to make them become a reality. When you build visions of the future together, you’re connecting on a deeper and more meaningful level. Discover ways to create shared meaning in your daily life through rituals of connection such as greeting each other when you come home, saying I love you before bed, scheduling regular date nights, and celebrating birthdays or special holiday traditions. What are your thoughts about these 5 tips to spring clean your relationship? Which are your strengths and which ones do you need to focus more on developing in your relationship? Which ones inspire you to do something different? If you want to talk more about relationship building, or a relationship revival, contact Dr. Kate Campbell, LMFT, and the team at Bayview Therapeutic Services at (954)391-5305 . Dr. Kate provides pre-marital counseling, marriage therapy, and couples counseling in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

One of the most transformative moments in the life of a teen is when they realize that inside them, they already have all the strength and ability necessary to solve their own problems. That realization gives them such a sense of empowerment that it immediately elevates their self-esteem and sense of well-being. One way to help them see they have all of the strengths and resources inside of them, is to separate their problem from themselves. In Narrative Therapy, we call this “externalizing the problem”, where the problem is the problem and the person is not the problem. Once the teen realizes they are not the problem, they can use their strengths and expertise to deal with the determined issue bothering them, be it anxiety, anger, or negative thoughts. It can be very helpful to use images and metaphors to depict the presenting problem. Kids and Teens have a wonderful ability to use their imagination and really look at “anger” or “anxiety” as an actual independent entity that comes to pester them. We can take it a step further by helping the teen give the problem a name, making it even more removed from themselves. In this way, “anger” becomes the character, “Stripe” (from the Gremlins), and anxiety becomes “Boog” (from the movie Open Season), who like to come “visit” and many times attempt to control teens. In counseling, problems that can be resolved in this way are numerous, from anger, performance anxiety, poor self-esteem, social anxiety, negative thoughts, depression, and bad habits. In today’s cyber world, where avatars and virtual creatures are so personified and viewed with such importance, there is an ease for teens to envision this externalized entity and furthermore, communicate with it. Working with kids and teens, we give meaning to these problems and help them negotiate the best way to help them make peace with themselves despite their problematic parts. As an illustration, I had one teen make friends with “anxiety”, because she realized that anxiety was there to warn her about danger. In that session, clinician and teen noticed how “Boog” convinced her to feel negatively and do things that weren’t useful. The teen then gave meaning to what “Boog” was trying to do, understood how and what it thought, and realized where it was wrong or weak. She realized that unlike him, she is strong and caring and that she could make “Boog” feel better by hugging him and making him safe, consequently healing them both. In this way, she completely eliminated her anxiety about that situation. When I asked her in the next session how her anxiety was, she just said, “Oh Boog? He only visits sometimes and now I know how to calm him down.” The key to dissolving the heart of the problem is a technique called “deconstructing the problem”. Since the teen is the expert in their own life, deconstructing the problem down to its most detailed meaning helps create the best solution for that specific core issue. This is a non-judgmental exploration of the problem and how it relates to the many other parts of the teen’s life. The teen realizes that on one hand they have a fearful part, but on the other hand they also have strong and bold parts. Therapy can help teens learn how to use its strong and resourceful parts to help whatever parts were creating pain.  This creates an opportunity for children and teens to know themselves in a more positive light, increase their confidence, and promote real and lasting healthy changes in their lives. If you want to learn more about how to invite lasting changes into your teen’s life, contact Alexa von Oertzen, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at 954-391-5305. Alexa sees teens and families at the beautiful, serene counseling offices at Bayview Therapy in Fort Lauderdale or through a secure online counseling portal. Call today for your free consultation. #teencounseling #anxiety

Yes. I am speaking to you, the man in the relationship. Have you been wondering what happened to the passion and connection you used to have with your partner? You knew her thoughts at the beginning of your relationship, had plenty of affection between you, and had so much fun together. Lately, you don't understand why she is so irritable and guarded. Everything you say seems wrong, so you try your best to stay away and keep conversation to a minimum to make sure there are no arguments. You both haven't been intimate in a while, and when you have, it has been mechanical and awkward. The new norm is lonely and unsatisfying. You spend half your time wondering if she has someone else in her life and the other half wondering if you should even stay in this relationship. You are not alone! Many couples feel their connection is so good in the beginning that they think they don't need to continue to put as much effort to keep it fresh through time. Communication is the essential part of maintaining the bond between couples. Unfortunately, outside sources, misunderstandings, resentments, and unmet expectations can create a rift over time that feels as lonely as single life. What if you could turn things around to know that you had your partner back? She would look at you with admiring eyes again, laugh at your jokes, do little thoughtful things for you, and hold you tight at night. You would get back to the same wavelength and regain that sense of belonging. Maybe there is that special thing that she used to do that made you feel special. You have a lot more control over your relationship than you think. You might think it is hopeless to try to do this alone. It might not be easy at first, but if you take the below actions, you can fundamentally impact your relationship for the better. Some of the tips might seem counterintuitive, but this is why they are so vital to have in your relationship toolbox. Avoid Stonewalling. Whether you have a misunderstanding or an actual offense committed by either of you, there is no resolution without purposeful conversation. Going to sleep without offering some solution, ignoring your partner's pleas, or creating a continuous pattern of withdrawing behavior, will raise the level of resentment in your partner and compound the problem. Stonewalling, a term utilized by The Gottman Institute is the emotional and physical withdrawal of a partner when confronted by criticism. It is one of the leading causes of divorce. Interestingly, studies show that "85% of Dr. Gottman's stonewallers are males". The key here is to address the situation as soon as possible by listening and stating your stance with honesty and respect. Take some time to regain your calm. On the other side of the spectrum, you could be someone who needs to solve everything right away, causing you to become very intense and even intimidating. The more your partner complains or opposes your views, the louder you feel you need to go to win the argument. You end up saying things you don't mean and make her concur even if this goes against her true feelings. How long can a partner pretend to agree with you before they get tired of not being true to themselves? If you know you are getting frustrated or angry, a walk around the block would be a good solution. After taking a few breaths and walking off your anger, think of how resolving this issue will bring you all back to a peaceful place. Take responsibility and self-reflect. A heartfelt "I'm sorry" and taking responsibility for your part in a disagreement can go a long way with your partner. I don't mean you have to be sorry for everything. It takes two people to cause an argument. You can feel sorry for how she feels, even if it was not your intention to hurt her. You can show her you understand her side by making changes in your behavior. Take a moment to look at the issue from her perspective. Step into her shoes and try to notice how you would feel if you were in her situation. Taking inventory of yourself, your thoughts, and your behaviors can help ensure that you live up to your values and the most genuine you. Show your feelings. Few are comfortable with showing vulnerability. What if our partner will use it to hurt us even more? We tend to protect our ego by appearing strong and in control. The issue is that when we don't allow our partners into our inner emotions, we cut off the possibility of them being there for us, and we destroy any opportunity for meaningful connection. When you become brave enough to open up emotionally, that gives your partner the safety to share her deeper parts. The result is more connection and joy. Avoid blaming and fixing. We have to stop looking at disagreements as "it's their fault." This type of thinking is like quarreling about what came first, the egg or the chicken. Relationships are not about 'good or bad,' 'should or shouldn't.' The fact is that nobody is perfect. We all have done something that annoyed our partner. An example can be: the more you demand intimacy with your partner, the more she will feel pressured and avoid being close. The more she avoids contact, the more you complain or insult her for not wanting to be intimate with you, and around the circle you go. The way out of the blame cycle is to gain a broader perspective and shift the negative pattern by starting with yourself. Create positive and meaningful times together. When you get to the point that your memories are mostly negative, it is essential to start building a good number of positive ones to help tip the scales. Agree not to discuss the issues you currently have and plan a 'date' with your partner. Spend time doing something you both enjoy. Talk about a happy memory you have from when you first met. Tell her one thing you admire or love about her. Make it a consistent practice to add fun to your times together, to surprise each other with a thoughtful gesture. Have her follow your lead. She will be proud that you are championing your relationship. Know when you need additional help. Based on information gained from the Gottman Institute, "only "19% of couples seek help". This statistic points to missed opportunities and could be related to the country's high percentages of divorce. Consider this when thinking about hiring professional help for your relationship. You can also seek individual counseling if you want a better understanding of your relationship's condition. Why should you seek individual therapy in connection with your work in couple's therapy? Because your relationship's health and growth are directly related to your personal development. I have been successfully facilitating individual sessions with men to improve their relationships since 2014. This work often occurs either before couples' sessions are requested or concurrently with his work in couple's therapy. Individual therapy allows people to dive deeper into the issues from their perspective and face their feelings without their partner's pressure in the room. It validates their view of the situation and helps them take inventory of themselves. They can better understand what they want and how to achieve it. I mostly enjoy helping them improve their communication skills to ensure smoother sailings ahead. Call me today at 954-391-5305 to start repairing your relationship and building a more meaningful life.

If you are reading this more than likely you are interested in Postpartum Depression. Maybe you’ve just had a baby, are pregnant, or know someone you are concerned about. Postpartum Depression is not an easy subject to discuss. Unfortunately, this subject does not get the attention it deserves or the awareness it demands. My hope is that after reading this article you feel empowered to get help or to help someone that may be suffering from Postpartum Depression. You see my goal is to reduce the stigma associated with this illness. Because postpartum depression is totally treatable and getting help can save lives. Some may say I’m being a little dramatic, but read on and decide for yourself. Here is a story of a woman who experienced Postpartum Depression: I had the perfect birth and I was so in love with my baby. For the first 5 weeks after my baby was born, I felt proud of how well everything was going. Although I was worn down by night after night of interrupted sleep, I enjoyed my baby and wanted my 3 month maternity leave to last forever. One night instead of collapsing into sleep the minute my baby went down for the four-hour stretch of what I called “night”, I couldn’t fall asleep for 2 hours! The next night it was three hours, then four. Those feelings of worry and dread overcame me. This spilled over into not only worrying about sleeping, but worrying about everything. I cried at the drop of a hat and the feeling of sadness slowly consumed me. I stopped eating. I stopped smiling. I stopped socializing. I stopped being me. Does this story sound familiar to you? You could be this mom; anyone of us could. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. So, what is Postpartum Depression? Postpartum Depression occurs in about 1 in 7 women after childbirth. The biggest risk factors for developing Postpartum Depression is having a history of depression or psychological factors like conflict with a partner, poor social support, and ongoing stressful life events such as moving or starting a new job. You probably all know the expected mom who sells their house and moves, gets a new puppy, and decides to remodel the kitchen at 8 months pregnant. But oftentimes what you don’t realize is how overwhelming having a new baby is and how much support you truly need. Women have been having babies since the beginning of time, how hard can it be, right? Well, not only is having children one of the most wonderful times in a mother’s life, it is also one of the hardest. More often than not, you are too ashamed or afraid to ask for help when you need it. A study looking at 6,000 women found that moms with minimal social support were 5 times more likely to experience postpartum depression. While it is not new information to anyone that mothers are sleep deprived, research suggests poor sleep is also a risk factor for depression and depression contributes to sleep issues. Women with postpartum depression experience less effective sleep and more daytime fatigue than women without postpartum depression.  Infants with sleeping problems and maternal fatigue are associated with postpartum depression. The symptoms of postpartum depression last longer than the “baby blues” and are more severe. These symptoms include but are not limited to: ● low mood or depressed mood, sadness and excessive crying ● loss of interest or pleasure in doing things ● agitation and irritability, anxiety and constant worry ● difficulty concentrating, disturbances in appetite and/or sleep, loss of energy ● feelings of guilt, shame, or hopelessness ● possible thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. Someone suffering from depression may experience some or all of these symptoms. Women are vulnerable to postpartum depression up to one-year following delivery. New mothers who find themselves overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious, or depressed should not be silent or ashamed. You should know that you are not alone and help is available. Getting help does not mean you don’t love your baby. It does not mean you are not a good mother. It does not mean you are a failure. You, as a parent, do not know everything and cannot do everything. Sometimes your emotions feel out of control and life feels impossible. The sooner you can recognize symptoms of postpartum depression and get the help you need the sooner you can enjoy your new baby. Please give me a call for your free consultation at 954-391-5305. You are not alone, you are not to blame, and with my help, you will be well. #PostpartumDepression #MaternalMentalHealth

When many of us think of first responders, we envision the firefighter in full bunker gear bravely running into the burning building. Or the police officer facing off with the armed assailant threatening innocent lives. Though this image certainly rings true, what we do not tend to think of is that firefighter dragging himself across the threshold of his own home after a 24-hour shift, bedraggled and beaten down by the pain and misfortune of others. Or the police officer who is too emotionally exhausted to look at his child’s science project, because he has been functioning at the arousal level of a deer in the woods for the past ten years. Doing a job with one of the highest risk levels out there takes its toll. And make no mistake, being revered as the strongest and the bravest, being regarded as a real-life hero, well... it comes at a cost. When reading the research on mental health in the first responder community it quickly becomes apparent what that cost is. Rates of depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance abuse are exponentially higher amongst first responders when compared to the general public. According to a report from the Ruderman Family Foundation in 2017, more firefighters and police officers die by suicide each year than in the line of duty. This is likely a vast under-representation. Additionally, the Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance (FBHA) states that only 40%-45% of firefighter suicides are even reported. Just because they have taken on a job that most of us can only pretend to be as little children does not mean they are actually invincible. Just because we perceive them as heroes do not mean that their minds or bodies are immune to the effects of sleep deprivation, prolonged exposure to high stress, and trauma each and every day. Our first responders are humans. They are our partners, friends, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and children. And they need our help. How EMDR Helps First Responders: There is one treatment approach endorsed by the World Health Organization, the American Psychological Association, the US Department of Veteran Affairs, and many more high-level organizations as an effective treatment for trauma and its associated struggles: EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This incredible method was developed in the late 1980s by Dr. Francine Shapiro who discovered the connection between eye movement and the processing of distressing events. Though this may sound a bit “out there” it really comes as no surprise as the scientific community has known for decades that thought consolidation and adaptive processing typically occurs most actively during our deep sleep or REM stage which stands for, you guessed it… rapid eye movement! Don’t get too caught up on this though, as we have now discovered that it’s the bilateral stimulation (alternating left-right stimuli) that sparks up the brain’s natural healing capacity. So now many therapists institute other forms of bilateral stimulation besides eye movements like the use of hand-held vibrations (tappers) or headphones with alternating tones. So, how does EMDR work? When traumatic events occur, the brain can become stuck in the “fight or flight” reaction. Trapped along with that event are all the memories associated with it including sensory (the smell of the smoke, the sound of the gunshots, the color of the sky that day); thoughts (“I might not make it out of this,” or “That mother is never going to see her child again,” or “Did I do enough?”); and emotions (anger, fear, and pain). The bilateral stimulation utilized in EMDR, along with other components guided by your specially trained EMDR therapist awakens the brain’s natural healing process allowing you to make sense of and move past your trauma. EMDR is NOT brainwashing. EMDR will not erase your memory or trick your mind. We all have the capacity to heal naturally within us. Just think about how miraculous it is that a cut on your arm will heal over in time, all by itself. The brain has this power too! But what trauma does is it blocks this ability and gets the brain stuck in a loop of pain, self-doubt, despair, and impending doom. Because of the heightened level of awareness that first responders are forced to operate under and the repeated exposure to both their own trauma and vicarious trauma of those they serve, they can be some of the most ideal clients for the EMDR intervention. Benefits of EMDR for First Responders: EMDR does not require you to talk in detail about your traumatic event. As a matter of fact, the area of the brain that EMDR accesses does speak the language of words, details, facts, or descriptions. Often during the processing portion of EMDR clients are asked to speak as minimally as possible, just enough to let your therapist know where they are at. EMDR does not require homework in between sessions. Many therapeutic techniques request writing exercises, practicing new things, or completing activities outside of the office. Not to say that these are not effective, because they ARE, but we know that you are busy out there keeping us safe and your time is spread thin as it is. EMDR can often be completed in fewer sessions than many traditional talk therapy approaches. Your trauma has taken up enough of your precious time. Though self-care is a marathon and not a sprint, we want you to get back to being the best version of yourself as quickly as possible. For more information on the science behind EMDR or what to expect in your EMDR journey please visit the Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing International Association website at www.emdria.org. First Responders have dedicated their entire life to taking care of and protecting us. Now it’s our time to take care of them. If you or someone you know could benefit from First Responder Counseling with an EMDR trained therapist, contact Bayview Therapy at 954-391-5305 to schedule a complimentary consultation to see how our Certified First Responder Counselors and EMDR trained therapists can help! We have offices in Coral Springs and Fort Lauderdale, Florida. ***This article was written by Sara Speed, LMHC who is a certified First Responder counselor providing therapy and EMDR for first responders and their partners in Coral Springs, Florida. She is also married to a FireFighter, which is another reason she is so passionate about helping first responders heal, overcome struggles, and build their resilience.

You have wanted to sit down with your family for some time, because many things have been left unsaid. Consequently, the tension has been building, and so has the hurt. Maybe the issue is with your siblings or perhaps it’s a rift with your parents. At the time, it might have seemed better to let it go and move on to adulthood, but the lack of communication left everyone feeling hostile, resentful, and defensive. Certain boundaries, behaviors, and coping skills utilized in your family of origin might not have been the healthiest. Now you notice that you are falling back on those behaviors with your new relationships. You try to do better with your partner, but sometimes you get triggered by an action that takes you back to when you were 15 years old and couldn’t advocate for yourself. That is when you might want to consider picking up the phone and trying to rally your family to come together for some much-needed communication and closure. You think to yourself, “How do I get the communication going? Who’s most at fault? Who can I rely on, from my family, to express the interest in getting everyone in a room to talk about what we wish we had resolved years ago? As relationship experts say, it is not about who is at fault; it is about the patterns of negative communication and behaviors that people create and get stuck in. Below are good signs it's time to work on your family relationships: A vital member of the family is shut down and detached. You can’t trust some of your family members. You feel you are walking on eggshells around certain members of your family. One of your family members is exhibiting risky behaviors or has an addiction. A traumatic event affected the whole family. Young adults are still at their parent’s home and show no signs of autonomy. Parents used their kids to hurt their ex-spouses. Parents and their (minor or adult) kids do not understand or accept each other’s views. Unhealthy family alliances or preferences for specific people hurt the other family members. There is little love, empathy, or support evidenced in the family. Suppose you know you fall into one of these scenarios. In that case, it is essential to think of the whole family, how it has been operating, what roles each member has played, and who would be the best ally to help get your family interested in engaging in respectful mediated talks. How can you get family members to come together? You can start by contacting your closest family member(s) and highlight the positive outcomes possible for each person, such as: how things would be different, how each person would gain stronger relationships, better support, and happier moods. Aligning your goals is another great way to get your family to try therapy. If there is one thing each family member agrees on, as a positive outcome, then that is the angle to be taken. For example, learning better communication skills, fixing behavioral problems, improving empathy, adjusting boundaries, or reducing conflict, are good motivators for families to come together. If none of the above methods work, invite members to support you as additional historians to ensure that past events are correct (non-biased). This way, you can more easily dissolve misunderstandings between you and the person you are working with towards conflict resolution. In addition, the extra family members can offer good points, serve as support, or end up wanting to resolve their issues with you or the other family member in the room. What are the positive outcomes of family therapy? What I find in my therapy sessions is that when the whole family comes together, each member benefits from hearing how and why they have been valuable in their family. They hear positive feedback that they would rarely hear without prompting from a professional. They also have the opportunity to voice their opinions and share their emotions without fearing retaliation. The therapist can ensure each member has a voice, is validated, and has their viewpoint translated so that the whole family can understand. Another crucial cognitive change for the family is to learn that there are no "at fault" or "problem" members. They realize that the other person's behavior had a reason based on that person's original understanding. Family members learn to utilize 'I- statements' to communicate their problems, take away blame, encourage sharing feelings, and focus on solutions. If you would like to gain some of these benefits and help create a healthy functioning family, consider taking some time and investing in family sessions. A family therapist can help you as an individual to recognize your worth and also help you connect better with your family of origin as well as your new relationships. You only have one family - Make it count Take the first step today and call me for a 15-minute complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305 if you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment for family counseling in Coral Springs or Fort Lauderdale, Florida. For more information about my approach to counseling, click here.

The anxious mind will have you believing things about yourself, your circumstances, and your future that are just not true. Anxiety lies. Plain and simple. Once you can acknowledge that your mind plays tricks, you’ll be able to get back in the driver’s seat and regain a sense of control of yourself and your life. Let’s take a look at some of the most common lies that your anxiety will try to convince you of… 1. Worrying about the future is an effective method of problem-solving. Endless worrying is NOT helping you! You might try to justify your worry by telling yourself that this is how you avoid surprises in the future, but let’s be real for a second… worrying about situations that have not occurred yet doesn’t necessarily prevent anything from happening. In fact, it just becomes a major hindrance to your ability to be your best in the present moment because it creates more opportunities to beat yourself up and perpetuate fears. Worrying boils down to a need to feel in control. That makes you feel safe and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, you have to accept that you cannot control everything. Once you can come to terms with that, you can develop a healthy sense of control and do a better job of managing those parts of your life and experiences that you have a real influence on. 2. You should fear everybody sensation you get. Those of you with health-related anxiety struggle with this one the most. Every flutter, tingle, and twinge triggers a reaction for you that often throws you into an anxiety attack or even a panic attack. Our bodies are made of complex systems that are constantly operating to keep us going. Sometimes we feel things, but that doesn’t always mean that something is wrong with us. If you’re a person that has a fear of death; maybe because you’ve witnessed others suddenly pass on or have experienced medical issues that were traumatic for you; you might have become overly aware of bodily sensations. This hyper-awareness could be fueling your anxiety and causing you to believe that there is a problem where there isn’t one. 3. You’re weak. Anxiety is rooted in fear and as such has little faith in your abilities most of the time. It will cause you to feel incapable in many different ways. This is a bald-faced lie! It’s one of the most debilitating lies because it makes you feel shitty about yourself AND interferes with your ability to ask for help from others in fear of their judgment or perception of you. You might feel like a burden on others to ask for support or be concerned that if they know you need help that they may view you as incompetent or defective. By dispelling this belief you can build your confidence and become more aware of your strength. 4. You’re not safe. A feeling that you are not safe is the essence of anxiety. It all starts with your amygdala, the most primitive part of your brain. Its job is to initiate the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response in your body. While its motive is simply to ensure your survival, those of you with anxiety have an overactive amygdala. It's the ability to recognize true danger is all out of whack. When you live with heightened anxiety, your brain is perceiving threats EVERYWHERE and this will steer you away from a lot of things in life. You may avoid social gatherings, job opportunities, conversations, and new adventures because they all feel unsafe to you. But living in isolation out of fear is NOT benefiting you either. You can retrain this part of your brain to recognize real danger and learn to create safety for yourself. 5. You’re going to be stuck like this forever. That’s a terrifying thought… forever is a long time! Feeling stuck is one of the most common reasons folks find their way to my therapy office. When we feel stuck we start to question everything... what’s my purpose, where am I going in life, have I made the wrong decisions for myself? These kinds of questions for an anxious person can cause you to feel completely trapped. Being stuck comes with feeling hopeless a lot of the time, so I encourage you to change your language. Let’s use the word immobilized instead. This means you’ve stopped moving, and there are loads of factors that cause us to slow down or stop. By bringing awareness to those factors we can develop strategies to get the wheels moving again. Just because the vehicle has stopped doesn’t mean it’s broken down never to move again. How to Overcome The Lies Anxiety Tells You 1. Ground Yourself and Observe As a person with anxiety, you know that sometimes you feel unable to move but other times you have so much energy that you just want to jump out of your skin. A good way to get grounded is to get out that excess energy first. Do a bunch of jumping jacks, vigorously shake your body, arms, and legs, or go up and down your stairs for a couple of minutes. Once you’ve expended the extra juice, find a comfortable place to sit down. Allow gravity to pull your weight down and focus on how it feels to be completely supported by whatever surface you are sitting on. Relax your arms and legs. Relax your face by releasing any tension in your forehead, loosening the grip of your jaw, and dropping your tongue from the roof of your mouth. Now just focus on your breaths. Inhale and exhale. That is the only objective until you feel settled and still. Once you’re grounded in that space, the next step is to begin to observe your thoughts. Imagine yourself as an outsider watching your thoughts flow through your mind on a film reel or slideshow. They come in just as easily as they move back out. Don’t worry about giving any thought that much attention, we’ll get there soon. Spend some time getting comfortable here before you move on. Be patient with yourself, it might take a little time. 2. Challenge Distorted Thoughts Now that you’ve successfully distanced yourself from engaging every thought that comes through your mind, you’re ready to acknowledge and work through any distorted thoughts and information contributing to your anxiety. It can help to write your thoughts on paper as you go to get them out of your head so you can see them clearly. There are several ways that our brains distort information; these are called cognitive distortions. Some of the most frequent cognitive distortions associated with anxiety are polarized thinking (also known as dichotomous thinking), catastrophizing, personalization, and filtering. Polarized thinking will have you believe that there are only two outcomes; one is right and the other is wrong, one is good and the other is bad; it can also be an all or nothing scenario. Many life circumstances don’t benefit from this kind of thinking. If you’re locked into polarized thinking, try to find the middle ground. Find the grey between the black and white. Catastrophizing is exactly what it sounds like, jumping to the worst-case scenario. This kind of thinking really throws you into anxiety and panic. It’s hard to stop yourself from doing this, so instead acknowledge when you’re doing it, bring yourself back to the present moment, and focus on the facts of the situation. Remember you can’t control everything and worry about things outside of your control is not going to help you. Personalization is essentially taking everything personally. Sometimes when you’re anxious you might find that you are assuming every other person’s negative attitude or action is because of something you did or said. That’s not true. The best way to challenge these kinds of thoughts is to avoid jumping to conclusions and recognize that there are a lot of other reasons someone may be in a bad mood or acting differently that may have absolutely nothing to do with you. Filtering happens when you “filter” out all of the positive events, outcomes, or information and focus solely on the negative. Coupled with catastrophizing, this way of thinking becomes really problematic because you are limiting your perspective and not seeing the full picture. Take a minute to check in with yourself and review ALL of the facts. 3. Practice Self-Compassion and Move Forward with a Clear Lens The final step is to reflect on your analysis of your thought patterns to form your opinions or make decisions with a clear perspective. Challenging distorted thinking can be difficult, but once you do you can offer yourself compassion and move forward. Separate from your anxious mind, acknowledge your worth, and offer acceptance to yourself. Now is the time to shift your focus to self-care. Ask yourself “What do I need right now? How can I show myself some love today?” You are not your anxiety and you CAN overcome it. And the best part is you don’t have to get through it alone. Let me (Nicole Ambrose, LCSW) support you through this process. Give me a call for a complimentary consultation at 954-391-5305. Together we will strengthen your mental and emotional muscles to increase your confidence in your ability to manage whatever life throws your way. If you want to learn more about how to overcome an anxiety attack click here and if you want tips for how to go from anxiety to peace, click here.

The importance of Prenatal care is well known, but what isn’t as commonly known or accepted is the importance of postpartum care. The necessity of medical care for both mom and baby does not end with birth; It should continue into the fourth semester. The “fourth trimester” is critical to the overall health of new mothers and babies. The fourth trimester is considered the first 6 weeks after giving birth but can last much longer than that. This continuum of care often goes unnoticed and not discussed with medical providers due to feelings of shame and fear of being labeled a “bad mother”. However, emphasis should be placed on the importance of postpartum care just as it is for creating a plan for prenatal care. New moms, parents, and families need to create a plan for postpartum support to ensure the health of both mom and baby. The postpartum stage, or “fourth trimester” generally refers to the first 6 weeks after childbirth and can extend as far as 4-6 months due to physical and emotional issues or complications. However, I believe this stage can last up to one year after the birth of a baby. Not only is each mom different and an individual, but moms can also feel different after each baby. Becoming a new mother for the first time or even the fifth time is a period of tremendous change and responsibility making it a particularly vulnerable space for both mothers and babies. Because of this, it is imperative for mom to obtain postpartum support during this time. Postpartum support refers to the physical, emotional, and mental treatment available that can protect the relationship between both the new mother and the baby, as well as the relationship with herself and others. One of the keys to success after giving birth is to create a strong postpartum support network. This is especially important for high-risk mothers and babies. Think of your network like family, friends, and health care professionals you can depend on and who you could ask for help. Here are some of the benefits of creating a postpartum support network: 1. New motherhood is a challenging time. You as a new mom or a mom for the 5th time, involve your body moving through changes both emotionally and physically. You are also learning how to deal with all the changes of being a mother or adding to your family. This process involves you and your partner learning how to care for your newborn and function as a family unit. It’s definitely a challenging time to think about self-care, let alone make time for it. A “village of support” can offer the support and resources you need. 2. What does postpartum support look like? Your postpartum support network starts with your OB/GYN team. This could also be a midwife, a postpartum doula, lactation consultant, nutritionist, pelvic floor therapist, and/or massage therapist. However, safe and effective care during the postpartum period consists of many different components to include both internal and external care. External care can include dealing with the change in body shape after giving birth, monitoring the body or scars from a c-section to ensure proper healing, managing possible hair loss (which is totally common), and resolving issues associated with breastfeeding. Internal care includes aspects of recovery that are not clearly visible on the outside and oftentimes stigmafied such as physical fatigue, body aches, cramps, pain, and constipation. Internal care can help to lessen or alleviate these symptoms while simultaneously monitoring for any health complications. The emotional and mental components of postpartum care require seeking assistance or help and no mom should feel guilt, shame, or fear for doing so. At home, your support system can be your partner, family, friends, really anyone with whom you feel comfortable, especially when you are not feeling your best. 3. Your postpartum support network can be an extra set of eyes and ears. Family, friends, and medical professionals are often the first to recognize when a mom is struggling or is not her normal self. After giving birth, your body has just undergone a strenuous ordeal that will require both physical and mental recovery periods. There are many hormonal fluctuations throughout this time, which can lead to further complications. Anxiety, low confidence, self-esteem issues, and postpartum depression are all incredibly common experiences for new and experienced mothers. Obtaining appropriate mental health services can help to deal with these issues. This includes attending a support group such as a new mother group, postpartum self-help group, or postpartum therapy groups, seeking out individual counseling from a mental health professional specializing in maternal mental health, or asking for and relying on the assistance of those close around you. All new mothers as well as experienced mothers need a baseline of support to include sleep, healthy food, self-confidence, and time for themselves. Every woman’s postpartum needs will be different; some only need a few people to lean on for assurance and others need a village. Either way, it is okay to ask for help. It is important to have a postpartum support plan in place before your baby is born. If you need help with this, please first reach out to your OB/GYN, but know there are more resources available to you. I can assist you in creating a postpartum plan that is right for you, and that will give you the resources and tools to help you be a happy, healthy mom with a happy, healthy baby. I offer counseling for women along with their pregnancy and postpartum journey. Please do not hesitate to speak up. Your “village” is here to help you. I am here for you. If you’re ready to move forward with counseling, give me a call for your free consultation at 954-391-5305.

Ah, Love! It’s the most beautiful feeling in the world! You meet, fall in love and now you can’t imagine your life without this other person! Maybe, by now you have a family, are planning a wedding, share assets, friends, and a whole world where everything in your lives are intertwined. But over time, you begin to notice cracks in the foundation of that love and feel terrified of losing this beautiful thing that you created with this person. You say to yourself “Oh, it’s not that bad” or “this will pass” or “I guess I can deal with this need not being met.” But then things continue to spiral into negativity. This isn’t passing; it does feel that bad, core needs go unmet and resentment follows. Then you say what you never imagined you’d say when in the beginning stages of this blossoming love; “I think we need to talk to someone”. Couples therapy can feel daunting. Not only are people concerned and scared for their relationship, but now they have to open up and confide in a complete stranger about some of the most intimate areas of their lives. This is a sentiment I completely understand and I make it a point to validate this feeling for all of my clients. People have different ideas and concerns about what it means to go to couples therapy. People often worry about what the therapist will think, who will the therapist side with? Another common question is “Is our relationship too far gone?” Often, couples feel concerned over what they will discover in couples therapy which dissuades people from participating at all. Due to peoples’ fears or anxieties, many couples avoid couples counseling or marriage therapy leading problems to fester and get worse over time. According to John Gottman, couples wait an average of 6 years before going to couples therapy. Unfortunately, this often sets up the relationship and any attempt of relationship recovery for failure. Couples therapy is not for everyone and those parameters should be set by the therapist at the onset of the therapeutic process. Couples therapy is not for those who are in physically abusive relationships or who are continuing an extramarital affair with the refusal to let go of the affair partner. Additionally, it’s not a platform to yell and scream at one another while the therapist acts like a referee, picking a winner at the end. Couples therapy is not a place to hurt or to deliberately emotionally wound one another. Let’s talk about what to actually expect from couples therapy... You should expect a therapist who aligns with both partners in a couple and seeks to uncover each individual’s unique truth and perspective, helping those truths emerge in a way that each partner understands. The therapist should help each partner feel comfortable and work to understand the perceptions involved in problems that arise. Couples therapy is an opportunity to grow and evolve with an unbiased third party to facilitate discussions. Couples therapy is an emotionally safe space to explore interactional sequences to determine what plays a role in negative and positive outcomes. Couples therapy is a platform to practice a variety of skills related to enhancing friendship, respect, communication, conflict management, and generating solutions for barriers to having a healthier relationship. In couple’s therapy, unproductive behavioral cycles are disrupted and people learn how to listen and speak in ways that lead to productive and brighter outcomes. Whatever brings a couple into couple’s therapy, the most important thing is that there are 2 people who are motivated and willing to repair the relationship. One must look inwards in how their behavior plays a role in relationship challenges. The key ingredient is successful couples therapy is love. With love, motivation, accountability, and a willingness to make positive change, couples therapy can be an invaluable experience. If you and/or your partner are considering couples therapy or marriage counseling, it’s important to find a therapist who is a relationship expert (someone who is specifically trained to work with couples since relationships are complex systems). For more information about the couples therapists and marriage counselors at our Bayview Therapy Coral Springs or Fort Lauderdale, Florida offices, click here. Call today at 954-391-5305 for your complimentary consultation. Cheers to healthy and happy relationships!

Most parents request individual counseling for their child when their child is struggling in some way. It could be behavioral issues, anxiety, failing grades, anger, etc. Many times parents are not aware that family counseling is also an option. A Family therapist looks at the whole family system instead of just the “identified client”. They look to see if there is something in the family system that may be contributing and/or causing the child's behavioral symptoms. Any system, whether it be a corporation, school, or organization will not function as well as it could if any part of the system is not working efficiently. If one part is broken the whole system is affected. This is also true with family systems. If the system is broken in some way then the members of the family (children) will begin to act out that dysfunction. A well-trained Family Therapist can identify what needs to be adjusted to create a healthy, functioning system that leads to harmony and peace within the family. Let’s give an example: A child is brought to therapy for anxiety and/or behavioral issues. The child's parents also fight and argue on a daily basis. If the child is being seen individually, the therapist will not have the opportunity to address the cause of the child's symptoms. In family therapy, the therapist can identify the issue between the parents, help to correct it, and get to the root cause of the child's anxiety and/or behavior issues. How Family Therapy Creates A Healthy Family System Structure: All systems need someone at the top to guide them effectively. Family systems need to be guided and directed by the parents and/or parents. Having all family members clearly understand the importance of this is critical. Healthy Communication: All family members are spoken to with respect and courtesy. This has a significant impact on how the family interacts and treats each other. Individual Choices: Parents explain to their children what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. The children understand that if they make a choice to do what they know is unacceptable then there is a consequence. Clear Boundaries and Consequences: It is important that there are clear consequences when boundaries are broken. Parents need to be consistent with this. Parents Parenting Together: Children need to see, and know, that their parents are united in guiding and directing them. This gives children a sense of inner security and confidence that they are being guided and taken care of as they go about their daily lives. Expressing Feelings: Family therapy will help all family members to verbally express their feelings of anger, sadness, fear, disappointment, etc... instead of holding the feelings in or expressing them in an unhealthy way. Creating A Safe Environment: All family members will know that it is ok and safe to communicate their thoughts and feelings without being judged or fear of any kind of negative reaction. Family therapy can have many, many benefits for those who seek it. I encourage you to consider family therapy at either of our offices in Coral Springs or Fort Lauderdale, Florida if you are experiencing any type of issue or unhappiness in your family. About David Schlagter, LCSW I graduated from Syracuse University in 1995 with a Masters in Social Work and a concentration in Family Systems Theory. Years later, I had the rare experience of being selected to receive training and supervision from one of the original founders of Family Therapy, Dr. Salvador Manuchin. During my time of professional practice, I have had the pleasure and privilege of helping countless families to create a truly healthy and loving family. Please feel free to contact me at 954-391-5305 if you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment for Family Counseling in Coral Springs or Parkland, Florida. For more information about my approach to counseling, click here.

What if I told you that DBT had me come full circle in my approach to practice as a therapist? I first learned about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, DBT, in my final year of graduate school in a transpersonal psychology program, where I wanted to approach psychology from the soulful, the unknown, the mysterious, and the beyond. DBT was one segment of our Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) course. I appreciated and valued the science of psychology, but had a knee-jerk opposition to a strict focus on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to heal clients. Somehow CBT seemed too superficial, too measured, and too demanding as a healing practice. As a former lawyer, I was tired of the uber-rational, the rules, and the norms. I favored approaching therapy, as healing, and as more art than science. I have since come to see that DBT integrates both art and science, the rational and the emotional, the body and the mind, the many and the One. It is a constant search for both/and, not either/or solutions to dilemmas, and how we view and respond to problems. So enamored in its approach was I that I became trained in its skills and foundations and have the privilege of offering DBT to the teens, adults, and couples that I work with. What DBT Therapy Is All About DBT is a mix of CBT, behaviorism, and mindful practices, recognizing the importance of both the rational and the emotional realms of life. DBT seeks a middle path, inviting us to use our “Wise Mind” as the north star when engaging with each other and the world. DBT was developed by Marsha Linehan, Ph.D., an accomplished psychologist, researcher, and transformational leader. Stories of Linehan’s wit, skill, and tenacity abound. I invite you to pick up a copy of her Cognitive- Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (1993) to see how both she and DBT evolved in the field. Dialectics From the point of view of dialogue and relationship, Linehan described the dialectics in DBT as: “… change by persuasion and by making use of the oppositions inherent in the therapeutic relationship, rather than by formal impersonal logic.” Given that many among the population most served with DBT have been subject to severe trauma, DBT starts with whatever challenges the client presents with, and seeks to find new meanings within old frameworks, creating synthesis from thesis and antithesis. In DBT, the therapist utilizes contrasting skills -- sometimes coaching, sometimes the devil’s advocate position, and sometimes radical acceptance. Clinicians understand trauma and that all of us are capable of extremes. Therapists accompany clients as they learn to manage uproars and soothe other difficult feelings that can emerge suddenly, or out of the blue. DBT shows clients that change takes something. It’s rarely a cup of tea. Sometimes you have to do the exact opposite of what your strongest urge wants to do. DBT assumes the client is capable, not fragile, and fully capable of change; but also assumes that, until awareness and skills are practiced and internalized, failures can occur. DBT skills are taught to ensure clients don’t make a bad situation worse. Clients discover that, even if they didn’t cause their intolerable circumstances, they have to live with them. They can try to solve their problems, look at them differently, radically accept them as they are, or stay miserable. Emotional Regulation, Distress Tolerance, & Interpersonal Effectiveness DBT works well for those who rampage or fly out of control, with words, deeds, substance use; and emotions; and for those who zoom from a 3 to 4 to a 9 or 10 on the overwhelm/outrage scale, in a split second, and stay there longer than is effective. Clients seeking DBT may find themselves in constant challenges with others, their finances, their health, their safety, their stability, their careers, school, relationships, and resources. They may find they suffer so much loss, they inhibit grieving, moving from one relentless crisis to another. While DBT validates that trauma, when untreated, may create chronic states of emotional dysregulation, and that such states may lead to impulsive, dangerous, and ineffective behaviors, it pulls for strength and resilience. It attempts to make lemonade out of lemons. Biology and Behaviorism DBT helps clients, partners, and parents shape new behaviors, extinguish ineffective ones, and discern what may be keeping troubling interactions in place. DBT clients benefit from the treatment focus on educating clients and families about the biology of trauma and dysregulation, nature, function, and urges of emotions, and the vital need for validation and soothing in our lives. DBT Skills DBT Skills comprise four modules: Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotional Regulation, and Distress Tolerance. Skills are often taught in groups of 3 or more participants. Each module is covered in approximately 6-8 weeks, with a course of DBT-adherent therapy typically running a course of six months or more. Skills are trained in simple, elegant, and practical ways. They have catchy acronyms that come in handy when you need one in a snap (like when your emotional engine is running way too hot and you are heading into a meeting). Homework and group participation reinforce skills training, and inter-session coaching offers opportunities to keep clients on track. I like DBT, because it is humane, practical, reinforcing, and effective. For the most seriously challenged clients, DBT research finds that DBT reduces episodes of suicidality and self-harm, hospitalization stays, and dropouts from therapy. Client testimonials further attest to its efficacy, and nothing beats seeing results on the ground. Who is DBT Most Effective With? DBT Treatment is not only for suicidal or deeply traumatized individuals and has multiple stages of treatment, ranging from the most life-threatening (stage 1) to what seems to me to be the most existential/spiritual (stage 4). DBT Adherent treatment typically involves a comprehensive packet of services including personal therapy, DBT Skills Training, Phone Coaching, and DBT Consultation for the Therapist. DBT therapists may use the DBT Skills book and diary cards to reinforce principles and measure progress/regression. Diary cards also provide an efficient way for the therapist to gain a birds-eye view of the client’s life between sessions. The interest in DBT seems to be growing. In fact, MSNBC’s Morning Joe recently aired an interview with two prominent DBT experts touting their new DBT for Dummies book. A link to the segment can be found here. Hopefully, this whets your appetite to hear more about DBT. For questions as to how DBT might serve you or someone you love, please call Carla Barrow, LMFT at 954-391-5305 for a complimentary consultation in English or Spanish. And keep your eyes out for future articles on how I use DBT to enhance Couples Therapy.

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersexed, Asexual (LGBTQIA*) community represents a diverse range and umbrella of identities and expression of gender and sexual orientation. Members of the LGBTQIA+ community are diverse in many ways such as race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, and class. There are so many overlapping aspects of an individual’s identity, which bring unique perspective and value to the therapeutic relationship. Many of the LGBTQIA+ community are marginalized and face prejudice, discrimination, denial of human rights, harassment, and trauma. Many are not accepted not only by society at large but are not accepted and may be disowned by their family and loved ones. Many struggles with shame and experience a fractured relationship with their higher power which ultimately impacts mental health. Worsened mental health symptoms typically occur to other marginalized groups of people within this community, particularly people of color and/or low socioeconomic status. Risk to the LGBTQIA+ Community While being a member of the LGBTQIA+ community is something we sometimes see associated with pride parades and pride campaigns, it is not always something we and others feel is worth celebrating. It brings many unique challenges to mental health. LGB adults are twice as likely as heterosexual adults to experience a mental health condition. Furthermore, our trans youth are twice as likely to experience depressive symptoms, seriously consider suicide, and attempt suicide compared to cisgender lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and questioning youth. How Do I Find an affirming LGBTQIA+ Therapist? Finding an affirming therapist to fit your needs is one of the most important steps to finding effective therapy. Oftentimes we are the most honest, willing, and ready to heal when in an environment where we feel safe, heard, and understood. It’s hard, to be honest, and let your guard down when you don’t feel comfortable! Especially when running the risk of prejudice and discrimination with professionals is unfortunately rather high. Despite protections that have been put into place, the LGBTQIA+ community faces high rates of harassment, humiliation, and refusal of services from varying medical practitioners. In fact, research shows, up to 19% of people report avoiding healthcare and are discouraged from seeking the help that they need. How to Choose the Right Therapist? Important questions to ask are: is it important to me to find a therapist who identifies similarly to me? Or rather, is it important to find a therapist who is simply a member of the LGBTQIA+ community? Lastly, is it okay if my therapist is an ally and does not identify as being within the community? Is it important for my therapist to have specialized training? If you are transgender and are seeking a mental health professional to write a letter of support for gender-affirming medical care or for legal documentation change, you should seek a provider who understands the insurance or legal requirements of support letters. This you can discuss with your insurance provider directly or can search google directly for something like “therapists for gender-affirming letters.” Additionally, you can click here to view a website filled with providers who do so for free or for a low cost. Finding the Right Therapist for Me Depending on the therapist, you may be able to find information indicating their identity on their profile or website. Some therapists may feel willing to disclose their identity, while others do not. If you are on the website to a group practice, such as Bayview Therapy, it is great to toggle through the services offered and check to see that there is content on the website inclusive of YOUR identity (ie: LGBTQIA+ Counseling). Look to see if you feel comfortable among what has been written and continue to form your decision from there. Many insurance providers will have directories to skim through or will offer numbers of providers who list LGBTQIA+ competency. If you are comfortable, there are also many resources within the community. Wilton Manors is a well-known town in South Florida (near our Bayview Therapy Fort Lauderdale office) and often referred to as the “Second Gayest City” or the “Gayborhood.” There are local places such as Sunserve and the community center Compass. The final key to finding the “right” therapist for you is to take the plunge and make the call. Ask questions that are important to you (perhaps some of the questions I mentioned above) in making sure your therapist has the experience or training you are looking for. Don’t settle for someone you don’t feel that “connection” with. Remember, finding the right match is key to finding effective therapy. What to Expect in Therapy? Lastly, what do I expect when I go to therapy? This answer looks different for everyone. Once finding the right therapist, you can discuss any concerns you have, whether they are specific to your gender identity/sexual orientation or not. LGBTQIA+ counseling can help with exploration of identity/sexuality, working through trauma, discussing acceptance, exploration, coming out, gender dysphoria, processing discrimination, sexual issues, addiction, parenting issues, relationship issues, and managing mental health. Many LGBTQIA+ individuals ready to enter therapy aren’t looking for therapy centered around their identity, but rather, just want to know the person they’re working with accepts them. Any topics can be discussed such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, stress, life transitions, etc. If you would like to learn more about me (Alex Steiner, LCSW) and my approach, please visit my bio here. If any of the information above resonates with you and you feel ready to begin your therapy journey, please reach out and give me a call today at 954-391-5305. I offer free 15-minute consultations, so we can make sure I am the right match for you. I look forward to hearing from you!