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How Do I Like — Potentially Even Love — Myself?


Society teaches us that to like ourselves, we must have such things as power, money, and attractiveness.  Even when we achieve supposed greatness in these areas, however, we still tend to feel unfulfilled. The healthy alternative is to foster acceptance, appreciation, and even love for ourselves based on more controllable and healthier internal qualities.


Here are some realistic ways to begin this process of loving yourself:


Notice and Highlight Things You Do Well:


Consistently acknowledge 1–2 things you did/thought that you liked or even loved.  You could do this every few days, and, as you become habituated to this process, engage in it on daily basis.


One way to go about this is to list 1-2 things you value about yourself right as you start your day, as this can help you develop healthy momentum for that day.


You should know that developing a healthier, more loving self-view is a consistent process, one that takes a lifetime to repeatedly nurture.


Develop More Reasonable Expectations:


First, take a close and honest look at your expectations you hold for yourself.

Second, realize that if any of these expectations are too unrealistic, you may fail at completing them.  If that then happens, you can expect to feel poorly about yourself.

So, here’s step three: Set more appropriate, attainable expectations.  You’re then much more likely to accomplish your goals, and therefore, feel better about yourself.


Focus More on the Present Moment:


Oftentimes, you’ll feel poorly about yourself because you’re concentrated on past and/or anticipated future losses and setbacks.


Try to take note every time you attend to the past and future, and each time, in its place, concentrate on something positive and current. 


For instance, you could listen to a song that brings you a feeling of joy.  Or, you could imagine a great and rewarding social interaction you had with a friend today.


Be More Deliberate and Smart with Your Choices:


You may not even notice you’re participating in activities and/or spending time with people who are making you feel worse about yourself or your life.

Now is the time to better notice these unhealthy habits.  Then, you can set firmer boundaries to only keep the healthiest endeavors and people in your life.


Practice Forgiveness:


Setbacks and mistakes are feedback, if you’re open to viewing them this way.  Essentially, these areas, which tend to be sources of pain, can be novel chances to grow and improve.


Find Your Ideal Therapist:


You deserve to like, embrace, and even love yourself.  Consistent therapy can help you do this in the quickest way.

A good therapist helps you to get in a new habit of viewing yourself in kinder and more valuable ways, as well as holds you accountable for this new and productive way of looking at yourself.


If you’re ready to feel better about yourself quickly, call Jordan Zipkin, LMFT, at 561.214.4113 to schedule your first session.


I look forward to speaking with you and assisting you in your journey toward health and joyfulness.

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