Some people dread the end of the year, because they focus on all of the things they didn’t accomplish - they see not meeting their New Year’s resolutions as failures and either get depressed about them or ignore their feelings. Others bypass the recap and jump into creating new goals for the year ahead. This is usually done with gusto in January, but fades quickly when there is no specific support or plan on how exactly you are going to achieve your epic goals.
The time of solo projects, solo travel, solo goal crushing is fading away and a new and not so new trend of meaningful connection is emerging. Everyone needs help and support on the road to their dream destination. Instead of going it alone, put yourself at the top of your list and get a therapist!!!
Human beings need social connection. The relationship you have with yourself sets the stage for the relationships you have with others and can either move you towards your goals or put them out of reach. One step you can make right now is to decide to get the support you need to accomplish your goals.
Get out of your own way - Don’t make it about time. Don’t make it about the money.
There are many options and ways to get help today. Along with private practice, there are online sites such as Talkspace and Betterhelp that are less expensive as well as clinics in every single major city to meet your budget needs.
Here are 5 ways going to therapy can help you crush your goals this year:
1. Discover programmed patterns of relating inhibiting your growth.
The first seven years of your life you were a sponge taking in information. This early childhood programming is filled with messages, habits, and beliefs which form the fabric of your identity. Inner child work done with expert guidance can help you begin to see how early childhood experiences may be interfering with your ability to be a full grown adult. Learning to connect with and speak to your inner child can bridge the gap from who you were to who you are and who you choose to be.
2. Get unstuck from repetitive emotional cycles.
How you manage your emotions can either make for a great day or the worst day ever. Emotions color our daily experiences and lead to how you view the world. Therapy teaches you to create new emotional experiences by allowing repressed emotions to surface and process. If you have ignored your feelings for a long time and pretend you are ok then you would benefit from learning to face them and move through them.
3. Learn to trust.
Trust is a foundational element of a healthy relationship. When trust is damaged relationships begin to break apart and insecurities will rise to the surface. In therapy you can experience what it means to have someone listen to you and not tell your secrets to anyone. Being in a safe relationship you can share your secrets and face shame and guilt hidden within. Therapy can heal the moments you broke your own trust so you can trust yourself again.
4. Develop the skills to manage stress and overwhelm.
The moment a person enters into a state of overwhelm the mind and the body are in fight or flight mode and NOTHING gets done. Therapy can teach you coping skills and effective techniques to manage stress. Having the ability to move from overwhelm to calm will improve your decision making, communication and your health.
5. Improve your self talk.
There is nothing worse than trying to complete a project and hearing that voice in your head, “This is stupid. No one is going to want this.” The inner critic is not going to get you to your goal. This voice can be transformed in therapy. Through self examination and reflection you will figure out when this negative voice first appeared and explore how this inner critic has benefited you in the past. Together you can find new ways to communicate with this aspect of yourself so it can inform your choices rather than hinder your progress.
Connecting with who you are can give you the skills and self knowledge you need to overcome procrastination and feelings of not being enough. Imagine what it would feel like to be at peace with yourself internally, speak kind to yourself, manage the negative thoughts and love yourself. I suspect you may find yourself being a little kinder and gentler with you while crushing your goals feels pretty damn good.